u/Mattie_Madds8619

I have gone from 90kg to 77kg, I’m not done with my weight loss yet but that’s a significant loss, 13kgs and I think that’s around about 30lbs (you can correct me if I’m wrong, I’m terrible at maths and my country doesn’t use lbs)

I usually dread summer, it’s so hot and humid (I live in New Zealand and we have very humid summers, the worst kind of heat) and I am constantly needing a fan in front of me and I would feel like i could pass out in certain temperatures, and I can barely handle anything at or above 18 degrees Celsius

So I was wondering if anyone experienced heat differently after losing that amount of weight? Because it’s spring in my country right now and I am absolutely dreading summer

I’ve heard people talk about touch based and hearing based sensory issues but I’ve never heard anyone say anything about visual sensory issues and I want to know if anyone else experiences them

My visual sensory issue is finger wagging, I can’t stand it, it is like the visual version of nails on a chalkboard, and my best friend (who has severe ADHD, I love her but she’s intense sometimes) would constantly do it in front of me just to annoy me, I also don’t like it in general when anyone else does it, even someone online, I was watching a sewing video on YouTube shorts and the woman was so annoying because she showed something, then wagged her finger no, then did someone else

I also hate it when people move their hand really slowly with their index finger up, like I was watching someone wobble test their heels and she was so slow, and it is what I like to compare to the “valley girl” accent but in hand form, it just irritates me to high hell and I want to know if anyone else experiences similar sensory issues with visual stuff

I’m hopefully getting tattooed soon, I’m getting tattooed on my favorite place I used to cut and I’ve started to feel what I’m calling “last supper syndrome” (I watch a lot of my 600lb life reactions and I stole the term for what I’m experiencing) I have been feeling the overwhelming urge to cut, and cut a lot because my mind is going “you’ll never be able to do it again, it’ll feel so good, just one more time” and I worked so hard to be clean, by the time I get my tattoo it’ll almost be a whole year since I last cut myself, which was after months of being clean but I got really upset by a family death and I ended up cutting my wrists and sobbing on my dog, I did have to clean some blood off of his fur but he was happy to let me cry on him

But back to the point of this post, I need a bit of reassurance and advice about getting over my last supper syndrome, I’m really nervous that one day I’ll just go crazy and start cutting again and not be able to get my tattoo because I have fresh cuts on the area

I’m getting tattooed in September and since my Pinterest has a lot of Levi content and I was scrolling through Pinterest to get tattoo inspiration I saw a lot of fan art of Levi with tattoos, and tattoos of Levi (which I’m so tempted to get, but I won’t… yet) I drew my own tattoos but I needed references for what was in my head so I searched for tattoos similar and a couple of times I came across fan art of Levi with tattoos

And I was just wondering if Levi would actually be the type to get tattooed (like if he was real, or if AOT was set in a more modern era) and I thought I’d get the opinion on other Levi enthusiasts

I’m getting my first tattoos (2 in same session, 2 forearm tattoos on my right forearm that will cover most of the inner area) and I want to know if anyone has some advice, I have also asked this question on a regular tattoos subreddit but thought that it might also be helpful to come from women with a similar brain to me and not just neurotypical people

Also I used to cut myself on that arm and I was wondering if the pain would feel similar to that? Or is it a worse or less pain? (I don’t do it anymore btw, I’m recovered but my middle and high school days were rough)

My family consists of me, my dad, my stepmum, and my little stepsister, I don’t feel comfortable saying ages on the internet (and I don’t know how old my stepmum is) so I’ll say what generation we’re from, I’m a younger gen Z (teen age) my dad is a gen X, my stepmum is a millennial, and my little stepsister is a gen alpha (I specified that I’m a teen so you know I’m not an adult being stupid if it comes off that way)

I have a bad relationship with my bio mother, constantly being abandoned, it was like I was the loner roommate of a lady who actually had a social life (not loner by choice) she’d go to family things (that I want to go to) and just drop me at my dad’s without even asking if I want to go, then she’ll come back and boast about what she did and say “people were asking about you” maybe they wouldn’t ask about me if you took me with you!! (These weren’t adult only events either, she’d tell me about my younger cousins who were there and asked if I was there, one of my cousins literally texted me and asked why wasn’t I there once) when I was little she would ignore me, throw the tv remote at me or the iPad and then she’d run off to her room, or to the garden to watch tv or be on the phone to her friends for hours and I had to beg her to make me dinner because she didn’t want to get off the phone, she was extremely cheep, she’d never buy me anything and when she would she’d make me feel guilty for it (she wasn’t poor, she just didn’t like spending money on me but she’d buy stupid shit from the op shop every weekend and be like “look what I got” and it’s a stupid dining table ornament that cost 30 dollars, yet she refuses to buy me new pens for school so I have to wait a week to ask my dad who would say yes and take me to the stationary store when he (no offense dad) was worse off with money than her

I met my stepmum and stepsister last year and I was pretty shy and on edge because in my mind “mums = bad horrible people” but thankfully she proved that logic wrong and my stepmum is really nice, but my problem is that I still sometimes don’t feel like a full part of the family, like this morning she came into my room with my stepsister behind her and said “we’re going out, we’ll only be an hour” they went out at around 11am, it’s now 3pm as I write this and they’re still not back, and before they left I heard my stepsister ask “mum, can we go to ramenria” which is a ramen place in one of my favorite places to go to to get sushi, or cookies, or a drink (basically a big food market) and my stepsister had a bag with her, which makes me think that they’ve gone shopping, and I feel really left out because they didn’t even ask me if I wanted to go with them, they just said they’re going and left, and it’s upsetting me because I want to feel included, not like some inconvenience that they live with, and my stepsister is spoiled, a few weeks ago she got $200 dollars worth of shitty squishies off of fucking temu like it was no big deal, while I was terrified to ask for a new pair of shoes when my other pair broke while I was walking my dog (I did get new shoes but it took me 2 hours to get the courage to even ask and I stuttered my way through when I did ask)

And a week ago we went shopping with my nan because my dad’s parents (my nan and Popa) and we spent ages in stores my stepsister likes while I got a small amount of time in stores I liked and I didn’t even get to buy anything or even try anything on to see if I could buy it, and we had lunch there and my stepsister guzzled half her mum’s iced coffee down because she was eating food that she was too stubborn to admit was too spicy for her, while I was about to have a panic attack because I didn’t get the option to get a drink and I need a drink, we were going to get ice cream instead, but then my stepsister was being an ass so we ended up going home and I ended up actually having a panic attack in the back of the car because I didn’t like the way my mouth felt and it was overwhelming me (I am on the spectrum and I have to have liquid after eating to wash away food textures from my mouth so I don’t feel like I ate anything and I have a neutral mouth feeling again otherwise I will freak out)

My family consists of me, my dad, my stepmum, and my little stepsister, I don’t feel comfortable saying ages on the internet (and I don’t know how old my stepmum is) so I’ll say what generation we’re from, I’m a younger gen Z (teen age) my dad is a gen X, my stepmum is a millennial, and my little stepsister is a gen alpha (I specified that I’m a teen so you know I’m not an adult being stupid if it comes off that way)

I have a bad relationship with my bio mother, constantly being abandoned, it was like I was the loner roommate of a lady who actually had a social life (not loner by choice) she’d go to family things (that I want to go to) and just drop me at my dad’s without even asking if I want to go, then she’ll come back and boast about what she did and say “people were asking about you” maybe they wouldn’t ask about me if you took me with you!! (These weren’t adult only events either, she’d tell me about my younger cousins who were there and asked if I was there, one of my cousins literally texted me and asked why wasn’t I there once) when I was little she would ignore me, throw the tv remote at me or the iPad and then she’d run off to her room, or to the garden to watch tv or be on the phone to her friends for hours and I had to beg her to make me dinner because she didn’t want to get off the phone, she was extremely cheep, she’d never buy me anything and when she would she’d make me feel guilty for it (she wasn’t poor, she just didn’t like spending money on me but she’d buy stupid shit from the op shop every weekend and be like “look what I got” and it’s a stupid dining table ornament that cost 30 dollars, yet she refuses to buy me new pens for school so I have to wait a week to ask my dad who would say yes and take me to the stationary store when he (no offense dad) was worse off with money than her

I met my stepmum and stepsister last year and I was pretty shy and on edge because in my mind “mums = bad horrible people” but thankfully she proved that logic wrong and my stepmum is really nice, but my problem is that I still sometimes don’t feel like a full part of the family, like this morning she came into my room with my stepsister behind her and said “we’re going out, we’ll only be an hour” they went out at around 11am, it’s now 3pm as I write this and they’re still not back, and before they left I heard my stepsister ask “mum, can we go to ramenria” which is a ramen place in one of my favorite places to go to to get sushi, or cookies, or a drink (basically a big food market) and my stepsister had a bag with her, which makes me think that they’ve gone shopping, and I feel really left out because they didn’t even ask me if I wanted to go with them, they just said they’re going and left, and it’s upsetting me because I want to feel included, not like some inconvenience that they live with, and my stepsister is spoiled, a few weeks ago she got $200 dollars worth of shitty squishies off of fucking temu like it was no big deal, while I was terrified to ask for a new pair of shoes when my other pair broke while I was walking my dog (I did get new shoes but it took me 2 hours to get the courage to even ask and I stuttered my way through when I did ask)

And a week ago we went shopping with my nan because my dad’s parents (my nan and Popa) and we spent ages in stores my stepsister likes while I got a small amount of time in stores I liked and I didn’t even get to buy anything or even try anything on to see if I could buy it, and we had lunch there and my stepsister guzzled half her mum’s iced coffee down because she was eating food that she was too stubborn to admit was too spicy for her, while I was about to have a panic attack because I didn’t get the option to get a drink and I need a drink, we were going to get ice cream instead, but then my stepsister was being an ass so we ended up going home and I ended up actually having a panic attack in the back of the car because I didn’t like the way my mouth felt and it was overwhelming me (I am on the spectrum and I have to have liquid after eating to wash away food textures from my mouth so I don’t feel like I ate anything and I have a neutral mouth feeling again otherwise I will freak out)

My family consists of me, my dad, my stepmum, and my little stepsister, I don’t feel comfortable saying ages on the internet (and I don’t know how old my stepmum is) so I’ll say what generation we’re from, I’m a younger gen Z (teen age) my dad is a gen X, my stepmum is a millennial, and my little stepsister is a gen alpha (I specified that I’m a teen so you know I’m not an adult being stupid if it comes off that way)

I have a bad relationship with my bio mother, constantly being abandoned, it was like I was the loner roommate of a lady who actually had a social life (not loner by choice) she’d go to family things (that I want to go to) and just drop me at my dad’s without even asking if I want to go, then she’ll come back and boast about what she did and say “people were asking about you” maybe they wouldn’t ask about me if you took me with you!! (These weren’t adult only events either, she’d tell me about my younger cousins who were there and asked if I was there, one of my cousins literally texted me and asked why wasn’t I there once) when I was little she would ignore me, throw the tv remote at me or the iPad and then she’d run off to her room, or to the garden to watch tv or be on the phone to her friends for hours and I had to beg her to make me dinner because she didn’t want to get off the phone, she was extremely cheep, she’d never buy me anything and when she would she’d make me feel guilty for it (she wasn’t poor, she just didn’t like spending money on me but she’d buy stupid shit from the op shop every weekend and be like “look what I got” and it’s a stupid dining table ornament that cost 30 dollars, yet she refuses to buy me new pens for school so I have to wait a week to ask my dad who would say yes and take me to the stationary store when he (no offense dad) was worse off with money than her

I met my stepmum and stepsister last year and I was pretty shy and on edge because in my mind “mums = bad horrible people” but thankfully she proved that logic wrong and my stepmum is really nice, but my problem is that I still sometimes don’t feel like a full part of the family, like this morning she came into my room with my stepsister behind her and said “we’re going out, we’ll only be an hour” they went out at around 11am, it’s now 3pm as I write this and they’re still not back, and before they left I heard my stepsister ask “mum, can we go to ramenria” which is a ramen place in one of my favorite places to go to to get sushi, or cookies, or a drink (basically a big food market) and my stepsister had a bag with her, which makes me think that they’ve gone shopping, and I feel really left out because they didn’t even ask me if I wanted to go with them, they just said they’re going and left, and it’s upsetting me because I want to feel included, not like some inconvenience that they live with, and my stepsister is spoiled, a few weeks ago she got $200 dollars worth of shitty squishies off of fucking temu like it was no big deal, while I was terrified to ask for a new pair of shoes when my other pair broke while I was walking my dog (I did get new shoes but it took me 2 hours to get the courage to even ask and I stuttered my way through when I did ask)

And a week ago we went shopping with my nan because my dad’s parents (my nan and Popa) and we spent ages in stores my stepsister likes while I got a small amount of time in stores I liked and I didn’t even get to buy anything or even try anything on to see if I could buy it, and we had lunch there and my stepsister guzzled half her mum’s iced coffee down because she was eating food that she was too stubborn to admit was too spicy for her, while I was about to have a panic attack because I didn’t get the option to get a drink and I need a drink, we were going to get ice cream instead, but then my stepsister was being an ass so we ended up going home and I ended up actually having a panic attack in the back of the car because I didn’t like the way my mouth felt and it was overwhelming me (I am on the spectrum and I have to have liquid after eating to wash away food textures from my mouth so I don’t feel like I ate anything and I have a neutral mouth feeling again otherwise I will freak out)

I have ARFID, my family are foodies, I am currently applying for jobs and I was talking to my nan about it, I was saying that I can’t work at a cafe because I’d feel sick all day because of the smell of the coffee

My nan basically said that “you won’t be able to smell it, you’ll be fine” but I can smell coffee as soon as I enter cafes and it makes me feel sick (I go to cafes a lot since my stepmum is a barista and my family just love going out for brunch, I like going too just because it’s a family outing but I do usually have my nose buried in my sleeve or something like that until I’ve my my drink or food so I can drown it out for at least a little while)

Later that night she said at the dinner table (I don’t remember the context, I just walked in from my room to get a drink) “I have to leave the house when someone’s cooking mushrooms, it makes my sick, I can’t stand it” and I was so tempted to yell out “THATS HOW COFFEE MAKES ME FEEL” but I didn’t because despite what I say on the internet or in my mind, in my real life I do like to keep peace in my life

(Don’t get me wrong, I love my Nan, but this interaction did annoy me, I don’t like it when people are hypocritical or try tell me something about how I’d feel when I say that I know that I feel something different)

Original post: My family recently became blended, last year in January my dad got with my stepmum, she has a daughter who is way younger than me, I’m an older teen and the daughter who I’ll be calling my stepsister in this post is 9 (was 8 when I met her) I’ve been an only child my whole life, as a child I would beg my parents for a sibling (even though I was idiotic to do so because they split when I was 3 and were both single at the time when I was begging for a sibling) when I found out that my dad has a girlfriend and the girlfriend has a daughter I was pretty happy because I thought I’d finally get the sibling experience that my friends and cousins have had and what I saw on tv

But it feels like me and my stepsister are on completely different planets, our childhoods were completely different, that being the world we were raised in and how our parents raised us, so it feels like she’s more of a roommate that I see occasionally, or sometimes I’m her butler and escort, we get along alright, but we’re just so different that I feel like we’ve got nothing to really bond over, even things that we kind of have in common we still don’t, we both like manga, but I like things like attack on titan, and she likes things like otaku vampire love bite (I’m not saying that she should read AOT, I don’t think she should until she’s older, this is just an example) I also have ASD and ARFID while she is very normal and loves food (ARFID stands for avoidant/restrictive, food intake disorder)

The miscommunication that this post is originally made about, everything else is just background info - my nan collects these bears, and she always promised those to me and only me, I don’t know who gave this idea to my stepsister, but somehow she got the idea that some of those bears are hers, which they’re not, I was talking to my nan today and she also has no idea who put that idea in her head, today we went through them and reluctantly chose 2 to give to my stepsister just to shut her up, because it’s actually been upsetting me that she’s so confidently claiming something that isn’t for her to claim, but I had to move the 2 to do something, and I really don’t want to give them to her, and I know it sounds stupid but I almost cried, I cry a lot because that’s really all I know how to do to release emotions, these emotions being frustration and irritation, I put the bears back on my shelf because I don’t want to give them away, they’re mine, they’ve always been mine, and I want to tell her that but every time to try to tell my sister something that she doesn’t like she always goes running to her mum or my dad and then I get a talk from them basically saying “she’s young” or “you upset her” or “you scared her” like that will excuse her from everything, because sometimes she really upsets me, or pisses me off, and I’m supposed to just cave to her because she’s younger

Anyone who’s been doing this sibling thing longer than me have any advice? Because I’m really struggling with this and I feel like I can’t talk to anyone in my life about this because they’ll think I’m being unfair, or silly (we use silly in a bad context when using the word in my family)

My updates and clarifications: I write this when I was very upset about the situation, so certain things may have sounded a bit worse than they actually are

A few people had said in the comments that I should talk to my nan, I have, I told her that I wasn’t going to give my stepsister the bears and she said that she’s going to stay out of this and let me handle this

A few people also said that my dad or stepmum are bad parents, I don’t believe they are, I do think that my stepsister was allowed to walk all over her family a lot and it made her very bratty and entitled, it does piss me off but thankfully my dad tells her off and my stepmum has also started telling her off, what annoys me is when I try telling her off I get told off or if she’s overwhelming me and I ask her to stop doing something she’ll start doing it even more or say “she can’t help it” and it’s something as simple as to stop smacking her lips when she talks (I have EXTREME sensory issues, especially mouth noises) and it gets to the point where I was crying in the car because I was so overwhelmed, but thankfully she does get told off for these behaviors now, and I’ve had talks with my dad about how much her behavior affects me negatively and he basically says that he knows, he feels the same (he’s does have ASD like me but he is a gen x parent who raised me hard but fair and doesn’t like how my stepsister was just allowed to walk all over everyone and think she’s in charge of everything when it’s actually the adults (tonight we were at a pub, it was crowded, my sister was trying to boss everyone else around and my dad turned around and said “Name! You’re not in charge, is adults are!” (Didn’t say her actual name for privacy reasons)

One person suggested that I move out of my dad and stepmums house and live with my mum or nan, no, for multiple reasons
Reason 1. We live in New Zealand, most of my family live in the north island, and we have just moved to the south, I am NOT moving back to the north island, I hate the north island, I love the South Island, I’m never going back to live in the north

Reason 2, I can not live with my mum (bio mum, who I actually call mother to most people but her because I feel like she shouldn’t get the affectionate term of “mum”) that woman made my life a living hell, I was actually very suicidal when I was living with her half the time (my parents had split custody when they first divorced, it was 50/50) she didn’t even act like a mum, she was more like a roommate who didn’t act like she had the time of day for me (which she did, she worked school time hours, she got off work every day at 2:40 because her work was family focused and knew she had a daughter (me, obviously) but at home she was always in her room or outside while I watched tv and drew (I was a stay indoors and do art kid, I hated going outside, still am/do, she would be on the phone with a friend and sho me away when I wanted to talk or needed her help, I had to remind her to give me dinner (when her and my dad were still together my dad would come home from work and ask “have you fed Madz?” And she’d be like “oh… I forgot” and then go off and ask me if I wanted dinner (and I don’t remember this because my brain has blocked a lot of my childhood memories out, but what toddler doesn’t want dinner?) she also created an allergy in me (not anaphylactic, a less serious one) she is allergic to kiwi fruit, it makes her projectile throw up and have projectile diarrhea, I used to love bananas until she would literally force feed me them until I would also throw up and have diarrhea violently at the same time and I still can’t eat them till this day (my nan did witness this happen once and she was very concerned, I don’t know what she did at the time, I hope she told my mother off for force feeding me but I’m not sure, there’s also a lot more that I haven’t mentioned here but I don’t really feel like typing out all my mummy issues out all at once

My family recently became blended, last year in January my dad got with my stepmum, she has a daughter who is way younger than me, I’m an older teen and the daughter who I’ll be calling my stepsister in this post is 9 (was 8 when I met her) I’ve been an only child my whole life, as a child I would beg my parents for a sibling (even though I was idiotic to do so because they split when I was 3 and were both single at the time when I was begging for a sibling) when I found out that my dad has a girlfriend and the girlfriend has a daughter I was pretty happy because I thought I’d finally get the sibling experience that my friends and cousins have had and what I saw on tv

But it feels like me and my stepsister are on completely different planets, our childhoods were completely different, that being the world we were raised in and how our parents raised us, so it feels like she’s more of a roommate that I see occasionally, or sometimes I’m her butler and escort, we get along alright, but we’re just so different that I feel like we’ve got nothing to really bond over, even things that we kind of have in common we still don’t, we both like manga, but I like things like attack on titan, and she likes things like otaku vampire love bite (I’m not saying that she should read AOT, I don’t think she should until she’s older, this is just an example) I also have ASD and ARFID while she is very normal and loves food (ARFID stands for avoidant/restrictive, food intake disorder)

The miscommunication that this post is originally made about, everything else is just background info - my nan collects these bears, and she always promised those to me and only me, I don’t know who gave this idea to my stepsister, but somehow she got the idea that some of those bears are hers, which they’re not, I was talking to my nan today and she also has no idea who put that idea in her head, today we went through them and reluctantly chose 2 to give to my stepsister just to shut her up, because it’s actually been upsetting me that she’s so confidently claiming something that isn’t for her to claim, but I had to move the 2 to do something, and I really don’t want to give them to her, and I know it sounds stupid but I almost cried, I cry a lot because that’s really all I know how to do to release emotions, these emotions being frustration and irritation, I put the bears back on my shelf because I don’t want to give them away, they’re mine, they’ve always been mine, and I want to tell her that but every time to try to tell my sister something that she doesn’t like she always goes running to her mum or my dad and then I get a talk from them basically saying “she’s young” or “you upset her” or “you scared her” like that will excuse her from everything, because sometimes she really upsets me, or pisses me off, and I’m supposed to just cave to her because she’s younger

Anyone who’s been doing this sibling thing longer than me have any advice? Because I’m really struggling with this and I feel like I can’t talk to anyone in my life about this because they’ll think I’m being unfair, or silly (we use silly in a bad context when using the word in my family)

My family recently became blended, last year in January my dad got with my stepmum, she has a daughter who is way younger than me, I’m an older teen and the daughter who I’ll be calling my stepsister in this post is 9 (was 8 when I met her) I’ve been an only child my whole life, as a child I would beg my parents for a sibling (even though I was idiotic to do so because they split when I was 3 and were both single at the time when I was begging for a sibling) when I found out that my dad has a girlfriend and the girlfriend has a daughter I was pretty happy because I thought I’d finally get the sibling experience that my friends and cousins have had and what I saw on tv

But it feels like me and my stepsister are on completely different planets, our childhoods were completely different, that being the world we were raised in and how our parents raised us, so it feels like she’s more of a roommate that I see occasionally, or sometimes I’m her butler and escort, we get along alright, but we’re just so different that I feel like we’ve got nothing to really bond over, even things that we kind of have in common we still don’t, we both like manga, but I like things like attack on titan, and she likes things like otaku vampire love bite (I’m not saying that she should read AOT, I don’t think she should until she’s older, this is just an example) I also have ASD and ARFID while she is very normal and loves food (ARFID stands for avoidant/restrictive, food intake disorder)

The miscommunication that this post is originally made about, everything else is just background info - my nan collects these bears, and she always promised those to me and only me, I don’t know who gave this idea to my stepsister, but somehow she got the idea that some of those bears are hers, which they’re not, I was talking to my nan today and she also has no idea who put that idea in her head, today we went through them and reluctantly chose 2 to give to my stepsister just to shut her up, because it’s actually been upsetting me that she’s so confidently claiming something that isn’t for her to claim, but I had to move the 2 to do something, and I really don’t want to give them to her, and I know it sounds stupid but I almost cried, I cry a lot because that’s really all I know how to do to release emotions, these emotions being frustration and irritation, I put the bears back on my shelf because I don’t want to give them away, they’re mine, they’ve always been mine, and I want to tell her that but every time to try to tell my sister something that she doesn’t like she always goes running to her mum or my dad and then I get a talk from them basically saying “she’s young” or “you upset her” or “you scared her” like that will excuse her from everything, because sometimes she really upsets me, or pisses me off, and I’m supposed to just cave to her because she’s younger

Anyone who’s been doing this sibling thing longer than me have any advice? Because I’m really struggling with this and I feel like I can’t talk to anyone in my life about this because they’ll think I’m being unfair, or silly (we use silly in a bad context when using the word in my family)

My family recently became blended, last year in January my dad got with my stepmum, she has a daughter who is way younger than me, I’m an older teen and the daughter who I’ll be calling my stepsister in this post is 9 (was 8 when I met her) I’ve been an only child my whole life, as a child I would beg my parents for a sibling (even though I was idiotic to do so because they split when I was 3 and were both single at the time when I was begging for a sibling) when I found out that my dad has a girlfriend and the girlfriend has a daughter I was pretty happy because I thought I’d finally get the sibling experience that my friends and cousins have had and what I saw on tv

But it feels like me and my stepsister are on completely different planets, our childhoods were completely different, that being the world we were raised in and how our parents raised us, so it feels like she’s more of a roommate that I see occasionally, or sometimes I’m her butler and escort, we get along alright, but we’re just so different that I feel like we’ve got nothing to really bond over, even things that we kind of have in common we still don’t, we both like manga, but I like things like attack on titan, and she likes things like otaku vampire love bite (I’m not saying that she should read AOT, I don’t think she should until she’s older, this is just an example) I also have ASD and ARFID while she is very normal and loves food (ARFID stands for avoidant/restrictive, food intake disorder)

The miscommunication that this post is originally made about, everything else is just background info - my nan collects these bears, and she always promised those to me and only me, I don’t know who gave this idea to my stepsister, but somehow she got the idea that some of those bears are hers, which they’re not, I was talking to my nan today and she also has no idea who put that idea in her head, today we went through them and reluctantly chose 2 to give to my stepsister just to shut her up, because it’s actually been upsetting me that she’s so confidently claiming something that isn’t for her to claim, but I had to move the 2 to do something, and I really don’t want to give them to her, and I know it sounds stupid but I almost cried, I cry a lot because that’s really all I know how to do to release emotions, these emotions being frustration and irritation, I put the bears back on my shelf because I don’t want to give them away, they’re mine, they’ve always been mine, and I want to tell her that but every time to try to tell my sister something that she doesn’t like she always goes running to her mum or my dad and then I get a talk from them basically saying “she’s young” or “you upset her” or “you scared her” like that will excuse her from everything, because sometimes she really upsets me, or pisses me off, and I’m supposed to just cave to her because she’s younger

Anyone who’s been doing this sibling thing longer than me have any advice? Because I’m really struggling with this and I feel like I can’t talk to anyone in my life about this because they’ll think I’m being unfair, or silly (we use silly in a bad context when using the word in my family)

I’ve been thinking about getting tattoos a lot in the past few years, I also love art, so I’ve been drawing my own ideas and I really like them and it looks exactly how I want them, but now I’m a little anxious about actually going to book the tattoos and showing them my art because is that okay to do? I’m not sure, that’s why I’m asking here because I don’t want to annoy my artist when I go in to book the tattoos

I have called my style goth or alternative for a long time, basically since I was a child (I’m very young so I grew up when touch screen tech like the iPhone and iPad was becoming more popular to have so I’ve known the basics of what things are called since I was very little) I basically grew up on Mavis the vampire, Raven from teen titans, Marceline the vampire queen, Lucy loud, the hex girls, Lydia Deetz, Wednesday and Morticia Addams, the monster high movie characters (literally any/all of them have influenced my style at some point) Gwen (from total drama island) Misa Amane and other characters like that and basically said “I want to look like that”

As I grew up I started getting hated on online because I just like they style and don’t care for the political side of things, and I listen to a lot of different kinds of music, I probably do listen to goth music but I don’t go out of my way to look for it and it isn’t my main genre I’d listen to, but because of these things people have hated on me and said I’m not goth or alternative or anything like that just because I’m not political and don’t listen to the music all the time

So what should I call my style? Is there a name for the clothes separate from the music and politics? A few times I’ve also said that I’m a normal girl who likes looking like a vampire princess, but that’s a bit much to call my style and kind of childish/full of myself, or should I just call myself goth or alternative and just deal with people giving me shit about it?