the thing that angers me the most is that i've lost my perception of love. during the love bombing stage he made me feel so loved and so special, i don't think anyone in the world will ever make me feel like that without being an abuser later on.
i lost all hope. i feel like this was my last chance at love and i lost it due to not being obedient enough. i hate myself for deciding to not put myself through more pain.
have you begged them to come back?
my narc ex had done two years of therapy + life coaching before meeting them, and he's so obvious. he has gradiosity narcissism, like claiming during arguments that i'm not worth talking to because he's obviously more intelligent than me, telling me i should be thankful i'm dating someone as handsome and thoughtful as him, being deeply insecure and getting sad or angry if he sees someone in the store who is more handsome/stronger than him (he told me that if he doesn't get his dream physique by 28 he would off himself).
how on earth any therapist or life coach didn't notice?
my narc ex had done two years of therapy + life coaching before meeting them, and he's so obvious. he has gradiosity narcissism, like claiming during arguments that i'm not worth talking to because he's obviously more intelligent than me, telling me i should be thankful i'm dating someone as handsome and thoughtful as him, being deeply insecure and getting sad or angry if he sees someone in the store who is more handsome/stronger than him (he told me that if he doesn't get his dream physique by 28 he would off himself).
how on earth any therapist or life coach didn't notice?
going through it rn
i was being punished after breaking up. he called me to blame me for everything, said he still loved me and didn't want to get over me but then say there's no way we will be back together (at least until the end of the year).
he has downloaded dating apps 6 days after breaking up and is having hook ups. while begging me for sex because he loves me. while ignoring me when he's on dates. while punishing me by breaking up.
yesterday i had enough. i blocked him on EVERYTHING. but i feel so lost and unstable now, i can't stop shaking and crying. i'm fearing he's the loml even though he's not. i'm so scared
i was being punished after breaking up. he called me to blame me for everything, said he still loved me and didn't want to get over me but then say there's no way we will be back together (at least until the end of the year).
he has downloaded dating apps 6 days after breaking up and is having hook ups. while begging me for sex because he loves me. while ignoring me when he's on dates. while punishing me by breaking up.
yesterday i had enough. i blocked him on EVERYTHING. but i feel so lost and unstable now, i can't stop shaking and crying. i'm fearing he's the loml even though he's not. i'm so scared
i wanted no contact and told them BLUNTLY but they insisted on being friends (got angry, followed me on the street, called me a bad person for wanting to go home). they told me they loved me nonstop and convinced me to have sex with them, the next day they said they'd never be affectionate or loving emotionally but they wanted to keep on being physical. then we started talking normally on text. he's being even kind sometimes and asks me my thoughts and opinions on things.
what the fuck is going on?
i needed to tell somebody because i can't tell him. this is not coming out of spite, but a genuine thought, and i need to get it out. we had a pretty awful breakup, during one of our arguments he said that he took pride in being 'so attractive while also being a good person' and i had to hold my laugh.
he's attractive and he plays the good boyfriend role pretty well for the first three months, but then he gets truly insufferable. i don't think anyone could stand him, unless they are as insufferable as him. and HE DOESN'T REALIZE that
imagine
\-a guy talking about his looks probably 70% of the time. sometimes he praises himself sometimes he hates himself. he will whine if he's not the most handsome man in whatever place he goes, it doesn't matter if it's the grocery store. he WILL point it out if he thinks he's the most handsome man anywhere you go with him, he will tell you on your ear 'see? i'm the most handsome guy standing in line in this pharmacy. how lucky of you to have me'.
\-who treats you like he's giving you charity. he has the looks and his family is wealthy, so you must always be on your knees being greatful he's even by your side. he literally told me 'there are so many hot people in this city, if i'm with you it's not because of looks but because you're not promiscuous and selfish like everyone else'
\-resents you for everything and expresses it through corny jokes. also, trying to manipulate you. i don't have examples that aren't specific for this one and i don't wanna get much into it but i think everyone can imagine.
\-he has the i'm always right because i'm smarter mentality
\-he will idealize you and point out what you lack constantly, either emotionally-wise or appearence-wise. he will make you feel guilty for not being the being that he has imagined in his mind. if he finds something about you uncomfortable he'll tell you till you change it. it could be the way you walk, the accent you have, the way you style your hair, the pants you wear, things you've truly never thought about before
\-he will compare you to other people. he used to show me pictures of instagram girls and tell me 'if you put effort in yourself you'd be as hot as them, but you don't appreciate me enough to start working out. we will look like an unbalance couple if i look this hot and you stay the same'
\-he will ramble endlessly about his job saying effort and creativity are the root to success but he wil NEVER do anything about it. he has the motivational 'be your own boss build yourself from the bottom discourse' but doesn't really have an idea of his own. he wants to be a content creator and he used my suggestions and ideas in each and everyone of his projects. i don't know what he'll do now that he's on his own
and he doesn't realize how annoying each and every of these things are.
i needed to tell somebody because i can't tell him. this is not coming out of spite, but a genuine thought, and i need to get it out. we had a pretty awful breakup, during one of our arguments he said that he took pride in being 'so attractive while also being a good person' and i had to hold my laugh.
he's attractive and he plays the good boyfriend role pretty well for the first three months, but then he gets truly insufferable. i don't think anyone could stand him, unless they are as insufferable as him. and HE DOESN'T REALIZE that
imagine
\-a guy talking about his looks probably 70% of the time. sometimes he praises himself sometimes he hates himself. he will whine if he's not the most handsome man in whatever place he goes, it doesn't matter if it's the grocery store. he WILL point it out if he thinks he's the most handsome man anywhere you go with him, he will tell you on your ear 'see? i'm the most handsome guy standing in line in this pharmacy. how lucky of you to have me'.
\-who treats you like he's giving you charity. he has the looks and his family is wealthy, so you must always be on your knees being greatful he's even by your side. he literally told me 'there are so many hot people in this city, if i'm with you it's not because of looks but because you're not promiscuous and selfish like everyone else'
\-resents you for everything and expresses it through corny jokes. also, trying to manipulate you. i don't have examples that aren't specific for this one and i don't wanna get much into it but i think everyone can imagine.
\-he has the i'm always right because i'm smarter mentality
\-he will idealize you and point out what you lack constantly, either emotionally-wise or appearence-wise. he will make you feel guilty for not being the being that he has imagined in his mind. if he finds something about you uncomfortable he'll tell you till you change it. it could be the way you walk, the accent you have, the way you style your hair, the pants you wear, things you've truly never thought about before
\-he will compare you to other people. he used to show me pictures of instagram girls and tell me 'if you put effort in yourself you'd be as hot as them, but you don't appreciate me enough to start working out. we will look like an unbalance couple if i look this hot and you stay the same'
\-he will ramble endlessly about his job saying effort and creativity are the root to success but he wil NEVER do anything about it. he has the motivational 'be your own boss build yourself from the bottom discourse' but doesn't really have an idea of his own. he wants to be a content creator and he used my suggestions and ideas in each and everyone of his projects. i don't know what he'll do now that he's on his own
and he doesn't realize how annoying each and every of these things are.
i broke up with my abusive partner a couple days ago and went out with my friends today. at first it felt so good not having to negotiate at what time can i leave, at what tine should i be back, giving an explanation or reasoning for going out, not having to stay in with my partner for whatever excuse they made up. i prioritized that i wanted to go out because no there's no one i owe an explanation to.
but then i'm out, and it feels wrong not texting him. i don't feel the pressure of having to return early so we can spend more time together but at the same time i have no one waiting on the other side. i have nobody following my steps. i have no one tracking me. i feel wrong. i feel completely lonely, i feel sad. i want to text him i've arrived, it feels that no matter what he does i'll always miss him.
i broke up with my abusive partner a couple days ago and went out with my friends today. at first it felt so good not having to negotiate at what time can i leave, at what time should i be back, giving an explanation or reasoning for going out, not having to stay in with my partner for whatever excuse they made up. i prioritized that i wanted to go out because now there's no one i owe an explanation to.
but then i'm out, and it feels wrong not texting him. i don't feel the pressure of having to return early so we can spend more time together but at the same time i have no one waiting on the other side. i have nobody following my steps. i have no one tracking me. i feel wrong. i feel completely lonely, i feel sad. i want to text him i've arrived, it feels that no matter what he does i'll always miss him.
i broke up with my abusive partner a couple days ago and went out with my friends today. at first it felt so good not having to negotiate at what time can i leave, at what tine should i be back, giving an explanation or reasoning for going out, not having to stay in with my partner for whatever excuse they made up. i prioritized that i wanted to go out because no there's no one i owe an explanation to.
but then i'm out, and it feels wrong not texting him. i don't feel the pressure of having to return early so we can spend more time together but at the same time i have no one waiting on the other side. i have nobody following my steps. i have no one tracking me. i feel wrong. i feel completely lonely, i feel sad. i want to text him i've arrived, it feels that no matter what he does i'll always miss him.
my boyfriend and i had a rough patch (i won't even get into it, but we had a lot of fights that stemed from controlling behaviours on his behalf, and i reacted) and now that we're past that he can't stop telling me how much i've disappointed him and that he misses the way he thought about me before the fights. we tend to talk every night over the phone, no matter what we are talking about, EVERYTIME the conversation switches to how disappointing i've become. this has been going on every night for three weeks, we have not fought since. when he started saying this i tried to be comprehensive, telling him that he can't base his expectations on memories or idealizations of other people because that's not fair and he'll get sad and disappointed all the time if he keeps doing that. but after much reasoning, much explaining, etc. i've just begun to listen and shut up and comfort him saying 'this feeling will pass' 'i hope i'll be able to be good enough again' and so. but he doesn't stop, no matter what we start talking about, late at night he'll began rambling about how disappointing i am, how he misses my 'past self' (whatever that means), how he didn't know i could react like that while fighting and he thought i would just apologize and be unconditionally on his side. i've started feeling depressed and disgusted towards myself. i'm disliking myself. him telling me he's disappointed in me everyday it's leaving it's mark, i feel guilty and disgusting and i didn't feel like this before. i was actually proud of myself for standing up and defending myself, which is something i never did before, but i don't know anymore.
my litterbox is one year old (plastic) and i'm thinking about replacing it for a stainless steel one, though i'm not sure because the old one works just fine. the thing is that because it's plastic it holds that 'cat smell'. not like poop or pee, but it has this scent. will buying a steel litterbox get rid of the smell?