u/Slow-Plenty-6974

I work retail and sometimes have to work alone. When we’re alone, we are allowed to lock the store briefly to take our lunch or grab food, so closing the store for my break itself was not against policy.

A few days ago, I was locking the store to take my lunch when a customer walked up and complained about me locking the door. I told apologized and told her that unfortunately I’m on lunch. My boyfriend was outside with me because we were going next door to get food.

The customer later complained to another location. That store called me, and I explained that I was working alone, taking my lunch, and that the person with me was my boyfriend, not another employee. I guess the customer was upset because she assumed my boyfriend was another employee and that we were just deciding to both go on break at the same time and close the store.

Today my manager told me the situation had been escalated to upper management as though I had locked my boyfriend inside the store with me during business hours while I took my break. That never happened. He was outside while I locked up, and we immediately walked next door.

What bothers me is that the other location never asked whether he was inside. It seems like that detail was assumed and then passed along as fact.

My manager heard my explanation, and now I’m expecting someone above her to speak with me. I know the actual situation is pretty straightforward, but I’m still anxious about being questioned over something I didn’t do.

How would you approach that conversation? Should I just calmly explain the timeline and correct the inaccurate information, or should I also point out that I’m uncomfortable with an assumption being reported as fact? I don’t want to sound defensive, but I also don’t want an incorrect version of events attached to me. I haven’t heard anything from the DM yet so it kind of feels like I’m just anxiously waiting to be interrogated, and I wish there was something I could possibly do to expedite the process since in my opinion it’s a very simple misunderstanding.

I’m genuinely so stressed over something that should have been incredibly simple.

I work retail, and sometimes I’m scheduled completely alone. A few days ago I needed to take my lunch break, so I locked the store, put up the appropriate sign, and went next door to grab food. My boyfriend happened to meet me outside while I was leaving.

As I was locking the door, a customer walked up and immediately started complaining about me going on break and the store being closed. My boyfriend was outside with me at the time because we were about to walk next door and get food together.

Later, another location called me because that customer had contacted them to complain. I explained exactly what happened: I was working alone, I had gone on my lunch break, and the person the customer saw with me was my boyfriend, NOT another employee.

I thought that cleared everything up.

Instead, I found out today that the situation had been escalated to upper management with the claim that I had locked my boyfriend INSIDE the store with me during business hours while I took my break.

That literally never happened.

He was outside with me while I locked the door, and then we walked next door to get food. He was never inside the locked store with me.

What really bothers me is that the other location actually spoke directly to me and never once asked whether my boyfriend had been inside the store. I never told them he was. The customer never clarified that he was. That detail seems to have been assumed somewhere along the way and then treated like it was something that actually happened.

My manager had to talk to me about it this morning, and I was genuinely stunned because I had no idea that was even the version of events being passed around. Now I’m expecting to have to explain the entire thing to someone above my manager.

I know it’s easily explainable, but I’m still incredibly anxious because once something gets escalated to upper management, it suddenly feels ten times more serious than what actually happened.

I went on my lunch break. My boyfriend met me outside. We walked next door and got food.

How did that somehow turn into me having to defend myself against an accusation that I locked my boyfriend inside the store with me? 😭

That’s honestly the part stressing me out the most. I know what happened, and I know I didn’t do what’s being described, but now I still have to explain myself because someone else filled in a pretty major detail that was never true. I haven’t heard anything from the DM yet and I’m basically just anxiously waiting to straighten out an obvious misunderstanding.

I work retail at a store that usually isn’t super busy, and I’m almost always completely alone on Saturdays. Company policy is that if we’re working alone and want to take our lunch, we lock the store, put a sign on the door saying when we’ll be back, and leave for break.

I’m usually pretty good at gauging when there’s going to be a lull before I go, but obviously I can’t magically predict when someone will decide to show up.

Today I put up my sign, locked the door, and was leaving with my boyfriend when a customer walked up and said, “Did you guys seriously lock the door?”
I apologized and told her, “Yes, I’m on lunch.” She immediately got an attitude and said she’d just go to the other location.

Apparently she thought my boyfriend was another employee, because she actually went to the other store and told them our location was closed even though there were “two people” there. The other store literally called me to make sure everything was okay. I explained that I was the only employee working, the other person was my boyfriend, and I had just locked up because I was going on my required lunch break. They were completely fine once I explained.

Then I come back from lunch and ANOTHER customer comes in angry and says, “What’s going on? I had to wait outside for 30 minutes!”

I apologized again and explained that I had been on lunch. She started going on about how she was in a rush because it was her daughter’s birthday party. I told her I was sorry, but it was just me working today and company policy requires me to lock the store when I take my lunch.

The craziest part was that she clearly understood this, because she literally had to explain to her own mother, in this super frustrated tone, “She was on lunch, she has to take her lunch, it’s company policy.”

Like… yes. Exactly. 😭

I understand that showing up to a temporarily closed store is annoying, especially if you’re in a rush, but I’m one human being. I cannot simultaneously leave for lunch and keep the store open. I put up a sign with the exact time I’d be back and followed company policy.

I somehow managed to get two people pissed at me and have another store calling to check on us, all because I took a 30-minute lunch while working alone.

Anyone else who regularly works solo deal with customers acting like your legally/company-required break is something you’re personally doing to inconvenience them?

I’ve had emetophobia for basically my entire life, but ever since I was hospitalized in 2020, it feels like it has turned into something much bigger than just a fear of vomiting.

was hospitalized for about a week because of a severe gastrointestinal blockage and was in unbearable pain for most of that time. I think that experience really changed the way I view my body and illness in general. Before that, vomiting was always the main fear. Now it feels like my brain is constantly scanning for anything that could mean I’m getting sick.

My emetophobia has always fluctuated in intensity too. There have been periods where I’ve actually felt surprisingly okay and things that used to trigger me didn’t bother me nearly as much. Then it will suddenly flare up again and feel almost as bad as it used to. I feel like I’m in one of those periods right now.

Recently, every time I eat something, I find myself thinking about food poisoning. Even foods I’ve eaten a million times can suddenly feel risky. I haven’t started seriously restricting what I eat because of it yet, but I can feel the thoughts creeping in like, “Maybe I shouldn’t eat that just in case.” That scares me because I don’t want my world to slowly get smaller around this fear.

But it isn’t even just vomiting anymore. Any weird sensation in my body can send me spiraling. If my stomach feels slightly off, I’m convinced I’m getting food poisoning. If my head feels weird, suddenly I’m worried something catastrophic is happening. If I feel shaky from too much caffeine, I start worrying I’m going to pass out.

I also think work has been making it worse lately. We’re extremely short staffed, and I feel this huge pressure not to get sick because there are times where if I called out, there genuinely might not be anyone to cover the store. So now it feels like there’s an extra layer of “I absolutely cannot get sick,” which obviously makes me think about getting sick even more.

For a while I thought I was mainly scared of norovirus, but I’m realizing it’s become this much broader fear of illness, food poisoning, losing control of my body, and something terrible happening to me.

Has anyone else had emetophobia evolve into general health anxiety or contamination OCD after a scary medical experience? I feel like the original fear is still there, but now it has spread into so many other parts of my life.

I’m trying to schedule a mental health appointment through Kaiser and I’m running into a frustrating issue. I don’t mind waiting for an appointment, but Kaiser keeps directing me to third-party services/apps instead of letting me schedule with a psychiatrist through Kaiser itself.

I had a really difficult experience going through a third-party provider before, especially with getting my existing ADHD diagnosis and psychiatric history recognized. Kaiser already has my medical records, including my ADHD diagnosis and previous psychiatric treatment, so I’d really prefer to see a Kaiser psychiatrist who can access all of that directly.

Has anyone else dealt with this? Were you able to get Kaiser to schedule you with one of their own psychiatrists instead of an outside provider, and if so, how did you get around the third-party referral process?

I have both ADHD and OCD, and sometimes I feel like they interact in the absolute worst way.

A big part of my OCD is that I really struggle with uncertainty. I get paranoid about things like whether I forgot to do something important, whether I made a mistake, etc. But then my ADHD means I actually am forgetful and can get distracted, so my OCD basically uses that against me.

It’s like ADHD: “You might’ve forgotten.” OCD: “Exactly. So how do you KNOW you didn’t?”

And then I feel like I need to check or mentally go back over everything because I don’t completely trust my memory. But ADHD also makes it harder to remember whether I already checked something, which creates even more doubt.

I also have pretty severe emetophobia and other fears where uncertainty is a huge trigger for me, so I’m starting to realize how much of my anxiety revolves around needing to know that something bad isn’t going to happen.

Does anyone else with both ADHD and OCD experience them this way? I’m especially curious if ADHD-related forgetfulness makes your checking/doubt OCD worse, because sometimes it genuinely feels like my two disorders are arguing with each other in my head.

My boyfriend works at the same retail job that I used to work at, and I’m honestly frustrated on his behalf.

He’s been there for about 3 years, is a college student, and recently told his manager he can’t work certain days because of his class schedule (I believe it’s just Tuesdays and Thursdays).

The manager told him he needed to send a screenshot of his class schedule to prove it.

Normally I’d think, “Okay, that’s annoying, but maybe it’s just their policy.”

Except one of his coworkers also has classes, requested availability for school, and told my boyfriend he was never asked to provide any proof or send a schedule. They’ve both worked there for years, so it doesn’t seem like it’s a “new employee” thing either.

The part that really gets me is that this is a seasonal retail job. They hire a lot of college students, so needing certain days off for classes shouldn’t be unusual. If they want everyone’s class schedule, that’s one thing, but why is my boyfriend the only one being asked to prove it?

What bothers me isn’t even the request itself, it’s that it doesn’t seem to be applied consistently. If everyone has to provide proof, fine. But if only certain employees are being asked, it starts to feel like they’re not being trusted equally.

This isn’t really an HR issue by itself, but it’s incredibly demoralizing when you’ve been a loyal employee for years and suddenly have to prove you’re actually enrolled in classes while someone else didn’t.

Has anyone else dealt with managers enforcing rules differently depending on the employee? If you were in his position, would you just send the screenshot and move on, ask why the policy isn’t being applied consistently, or start looking for another job?

He’s already pretty discouraged, and at this point we’re both wondering if it’s time for him to move on.

My manager has essentially been out for almost a week at this point, and the store is starting to feel like it’s falling apart. We have shipment that still needs to be worked, all of our new monthly marketing isn’t even finished yet, and there’s just a mountain of things that need to get done.

Yesterday she called out sick, but I was already scheduled 12-4, so I stayed and covered her closing shift since it was only about two extra hours. Today I’m working 7:30-4, and this morning she texted me asking me to message our work group chat on her behalf to see if anyone could cover the closing shift because she’s still sick.

The problem is nobody has said they can cover yet, and I’m terrified I’m going to be expected to work open to close. I already have another full 8-hour shift tomorrow and another one the day after that. I’m exhausted, I’ve been helping hold this place together, and today I’ve spent most of the morning by myself trying to help customers while also telling people they have to wait for a manager for things I don’t have the authority to do.

I genuinely don’t know what to do. I want to help because I know she’s sick, but I also really don’t want to spend 10+ hours working alone in a retail store. Has anyone else been put in a situation like this? How did your management handle it?

I work at a retail job where we share registers, so it’s not a situation where only one person uses a drawer all day.

Tonight I ended up closing by myself and when I counted one of the registers it was $226 short. I immediately recounted it multiple times, separated all the bills, checked everything carefully, and kept getting the same amount.

I called one of my coworkers who had been on that register earlier to ask if anything weird had happened during the day. At first she said everything was normal, but then she called me back and remembered there had been a strange transaction.

She doesn’t know exactly what happened because another coworker handled it, but apparently a customer paid part cash and part card, and somehow the transaction still went all the way through. I’m not sure if that’s related or not.

I texted my manager as soon as I realized the drawer was short, but she wasn’t at the store, so there wasn’t much else I could do besides report it.
I’m honestly freaking out because $226 is such a huge amount to be missing. Since we share registers I know it shouldn’t automatically fall on me, but I’m still anxious.

For those of you in retail management or who have dealt with cash handling, what usually happens in a situation like this? Is a shortage this large often traced back to a transaction error, or should I be preparing for the worst?

I was wondering if anyone has any insight into this because I’m genuinely confused.

I recently got approved for an Amex Delta SkyMiles Gold card, and I’ve really liked it so far. Because of that, I decided to see if I’d qualify for the Amex Blue Cash Everyday card, and I was approved for that too.

Earlier this week, I requested a credit limit increase on the very first credit card I ever opened with my local credit union. It only has a $500 limit, and honestly it feels like every time I use it my utilization shoots up because the limit is so low.

They never responded to my request, so I’m assuming it was denied or at least not approved.

The part that confuses me is why Amex is willing to extend me thousands of dollars in credit, but my own credit union, where I’ve had a relationship and my oldest credit card, won’t even increase my limit by $500.

It’s honestly a little discouraging because I’ve always heard that credit unions tend to be more generous lenders and more understanding of people who are newer to credit or first-time buyers. That just hasn’t been my experience so far. Ironically, Amex has been by far the most generous lender I’ve dealt with.

One of my biggest goals right now is building my overall credit profile so that I can eventually finance a car on my own without needing a co-signer. I’m not planning on buying a car for at least another year, but with the issues my current car has been having, I know it’s something I’ll need to do eventually. Getting approved for the Amex cards made me feel like I was making real progress toward that goal, but then having my credit union seemingly not even consider a modest credit limit increase was honestly pretty discouraging.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? Is this just a case of every lender having completely different underwriting standards, or is there something I’m missing?

Hey everyone! This will be my first time flying and my first time visiting Portland. My boyfriend and I are coming from Atlanta at the end of September, and we’ve already got an Airbnb booked. Flights are definitely a little pricier than I was hoping, but we’re excited for the trip!

I’m looking for any tips or tricks for a first-time flyer. Anything you wish you knew before your first flight?
I’d also love recommendations for things to do while we’re there. We’re thinking about taking a day trip to Seattle if it’s worth it. Is that realistic, or should we just stick to exploring Portland?

How’s the public transit in Portland? Is it easy to get around without renting a car?

Also, I’m a huge fan of Asian food, so I’d love recommendations for your favorite ramen, sushi, Korean BBQ, Chinese, Vietnamese, Thai, or any other must-try Asian restaurants.

Thanks in advance! I’m really excited for the trip.

I’m honestly pretty confused by how different lenders evaluate credit profiles, and I’m wondering if anyone can explain what’s going on.

I’ve been building my credit for about two years now. I started with Chime Credit Builder, and I also have a credit card through my credit union, although the limit is fairly low. Recently, I was approved for an Amex Delta SkyMiles Gold card with a $2,000 limit, which I was really happy about because I’m trying to thicken my credit file. My goal is to move out next year, and I want to make sure I don’t run into unnecessary hurdles when it comes to renting or qualifying for better financing.

What doesn’t make sense to me is that Discover denied my application, and when I checked Capital One’s pre-approval tool, it would only offer me secured cards. The denial reasons mostly pointed to my credit profile being too limited, not having enough revolving credit history, and not enough experience managing credit accounts.

That’s what’s throwing me off. If my profile is supposedly too thin, why was American Express comfortable approving me for an unsecured card with a $2,000 limit? I would’ve expected Amex to be the harder approval compared to Discover or Capital One.

Is this just a case of every lender having completely different underwriting models, or is there something about my profile that Amex likes that the others don’t? Has anyone else had a similar experience where one issuer approved you with no problem while others were much more conservative?

I’m honestly pretty confused by how different lenders evaluate credit profiles, and I’m wondering if anyone can explain what’s going on.

I’ve been building my credit for about two years now. I started with Chime Credit Builder, and I also have a credit card through my credit union, although the limit is fairly low. Recently, I was approved for an Amex Delta SkyMiles Gold card with a $2,000 limit, which I was really happy about because I’m trying to thicken my credit file. My goal is to move out next year, and I want to make sure I don’t run into unnecessary hurdles when it comes to renting or qualifying for better financing.

What doesn’t make sense to me is that Discover denied my application, and when I checked Capital One’s pre-approval tool, it would only offer me secured cards. The denial reasons mostly pointed to my credit profile being too limited, not having enough revolving credit history, and not enough experience managing credit accounts.

That’s what’s throwing me off. If my profile is supposedly too thin, why was American Express comfortable approving me for an unsecured card with a $2,000 limit? I would’ve expected Amex to be the harder approval compared to Discover or Capital One.

Is this just a case of every lender having completely different underwriting models, or is there something about my profile that Amex likes that the others don’t? Has anyone else had a similar experience where one issuer approved you with no problem while others were much more conservative?

I have a question about whether my employment ended as a resignation or an involuntary separation.
I worked for an employer and recently received a separation notice after my employment ended. What’s confusing me is that several months earlier I had submitted a two-week notice, and at that time I did not receive any separation paperwork. I had left the job and came back a few months later.

A few weeks ago, my manager asked if I would be able to open up my availability. Because I now have another full-time job, I told them I couldn’t. I was instructed to put this in writing and email my manager. At first I wasn’t going to, but I was later reminded to send the email. I didn’t formally resign in the email. I simply said I was told to inform them of my scheduling limitations and that I’d be more than happy to reapply in the future if a position became available that fit my schedule. There wasn’t much communication after that, but I later received a separation notice by email.

Does receiving a separation notice generally mean my employment ended as an involuntary separation rather than a resignation, or is it simply standard paperwork that’s issued whenever someone is taken off payroll? I’m in Georgia, and I’m also wondering if this could potentially make me eligible for unemployment, or if the separation notice itself doesn’t really indicate anything about unemployment eligibility.

I’ve worked for this company for about 3 years, but it’s a seasonal position.

In February, I accepted a full-time (primary) job, so I left. Later, I realized I had a few days during the week that I could still work there, so I reached back out and asked if I could come back part-time.

Before I was rehired, I made my situation very clear. I explained that I wasn’t available on fixed weekdays because my primary job’s schedule changes each week. The agreement was that I would send my schedule from my primary job about a month in advance, and they would schedule me around my days off. They knew I had another job before bringing me back.

After orientation, they barely communicated with me for weeks. I kept sending my schedule like we had agreed, but I wasn’t hearing much back, which honestly became stressful because I never knew if I was actually going to be working.

Then, without really discussing it with me, they started scheduling me almost exclusively on Sundays, which worked because my primary job is always closed on Sundays.

Yesterday, one of the managers suddenly called asking about my availability again and asked me to send my schedule, even though my availability had already been established over a month ago.

Today I received a message saying that they now need all of their employees available Friday through Sunday because they’re busy on weekends, and if I couldn’t open my availability, they would likely need to fill my spot.

I explained that I couldn’t realistically commit to Fridays and Saturdays because of my primary job, which they already knew about when they rehired me.

They then told me they couldn’t accommodate my availability anymore, that I should email another manager explaining I couldn’t open my availability, and that they could rehire me in the future if my availability changed.

I completely understand that businesses’ staffing needs can change, and I don’t have an issue with them needing more weekend availability if that’s what the business requires. My frustration is with how the situation was handled. They rehired me knowing exactly what my availability looked like, communication was minimal for weeks after I came back, and then, without any warning or prior conversation, I was suddenly told that if I couldn’t completely change the availability they had already agreed to, they would need to replace me.

I’m also still scheduled to work this Sunday, which makes the situation even more confusing. Does this sound like they handled this appropriately, or would you also feel blindsided by how this unfolded?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, and I love him deeply. He is my best friend and he is woven into basically every part of my life. We work together, my family loves him, I spend a lot of time with his family, and we’ve talked seriously about a future together. I am not looking for people to immediately tell me to break up with him. I’m looking for advice on how to have a serious “come to Jesus” conversation with him because I don’t want to give up on the relationship, but I also don’t think we can keep pretending everything is fine.

The core issue is that I don’t feel consistently cared for or considered in the small everyday moments. He does do things for me, and I want to be fair about that. For example, he helps me clean my room a lot, and he can be really good at taking initiative around my parents. I appreciate those things. But sometimes I feel like his care shows up more when there’s an obvious reason, like if a mess bothers him too, or if he knows he needs to make a good impression.

What I feel is missing is tenderness and consideration when it’s just about me. For example, recently I had been walking around a theme park all day and was exhausted. Later that night we went to see fireworks with my parents, and afterward we were walking uphill back to the car carrying chairs. I was struggling and falling behind. I had to ask him to carry my chair, and he complained and seemed annoyed. Even after that, I was still far behind everyone and he didn’t wait for me or check on me. They all just waited in the car.

It hurt because it felt like he was focused on getting to the car, but not on me. And this is not the only time I’ve felt this way. A lot of the time, he only seems to realize something hurt me after I’m already visibly upset. He doesn’t often repair or adjust in the moment.

I’ve also been feeling like genuine sweetness is lacking. He can be sweet sometimes, but it feels rare enough that when he does show tenderness, I get really happy because I don’t feel like I see it much. I also feel like he is mostly sweet when we’re about to be intimate, which makes me feel sad because I want tenderness outside of that too. I want to feel cherished in normal everyday moments, not just when there’s intimacy involved or after I’m already hurt.

I hate conflict with him, and I don’t bring up issues unless I really feel like they matter. That’s part of why this is so hard. I don’t want to attack him or make him feel like he does nothing right, because that isn’t true. But I also feel unhappy with this pattern, and I’m scared that if I keep ignoring it, I’ll start feeling emotionally distant from him. Sometimes I already feel like he feels more like family than my boyfriend, and that scares me.

I want to have one serious conversation where I explain that this is affecting how loved and connected I feel, and that I need real behavioral change, not just apologies after I’m already hurt. I need more initiative, more tenderness, more checking on me, more helping without making me feel bad, and more repairing things in the moment.

How do I bring this up in a way that is clear and serious without making him feel like I’m saying he’s a bad boyfriend? And how do I know whether this is something he can actually change versus just a part of who he is?

TL;DR: My boyfriend (21M) and I (21F) have been together for 6 years, and I love him deeply, but I’ve been feeling hurt by a pattern where he lacks tenderness, initiative, and consideration in small everyday moments. I want advice on how to have a serious conversation about this without making him feel attacked.

Hi everyone,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 years, and I’m struggling with something that I don’t think is a deal breaker, but it is hurting me and I want to figure out how to work through it in a way where we both feel happy and respected.

The current situation is about a theme park trip, but I feel like the bigger issue is the pattern behind it. I’m going with my friend and her boyfriend soon, and I really wanted my boyfriend to come with us because he’s never been to this specific park. He doesn’t like big roller coasters and gets anxious about them, but I told him from the beginning that I would not force him to ride anything he didn’t want to ride. I mostly just wanted him there to share the experience with me, walk around, maybe do some smaller rides, and be part of the couple/friend group dynamic.

I also honestly didn’t think it would be that difficult to convince him to go because theme parks are one of the few types of outings we actually both tend to enjoy together. We’ve gone to other parks before and had fun, so in my mind this felt like something that could be a good shared experience, not something completely outside of what he likes.

At first he agreed to go, so I got my hopes up. But the whole time leading up to it, whenever we talked about the trip, he wasn’t just saying he didn’t want to ride certain things. He was complaining about going in general and seemed anxious about the whole idea. That made me feel like the trip itself was becoming something he was dreading, even though I had already told him I wouldn’t force him to ride anything he didn’t want to ride.

He eventually told me he felt like he didn’t really have a choice and that he felt like if he didn’t go, I would be upset. He also said he feels like he has to fake being okay with things sometimes to make me happy, and that he worries I wouldn’t be happy with the “real him” if he naturally said no to things. That really hurt to hear because I don’t want him to fake anything or feel forced.

At the same time, I’m also hurt because I feel like his no affects me too. I told him he doesn’t have to go and I don’t want him going out of guilt, but I also can’t pretend I’m not disappointed. If he goes while anxious and complaining, I feel like I’d have to manage his emotions and wouldn’t be able to enjoy myself. If he doesn’t go, I feel sad because I wanted him there, especially since my friend is bringing her boyfriend and I’ll kind of feel like the odd one out. So it feels like either way, I don’t fully get to just be happy.

I don’t think he’s a bad guy. I know anxiety is real, and I know he’s hurt because he feels pressured. I do understand that. But from my side, it feels like I’m constantly missing out on experiences with my partner because he usually says no to most outings I suggest unless they’re very low-stakes, like thrifting or going somewhere close. He’ll sometimes hang out with my friend and her boyfriend even if he doesn’t really feel like it, but it usually comes with a lot of complaining, which makes me feel guilty for wanting him there.

Another layer is that he pretty much never plans dates with me either. So I feel like I’m often the one trying to create experiences for us, and then when he shuts them down or complains, I feel dismissed and lonely. I don’t want to be pushy or controlling, but I also don’t know how to just go on with this empty feeling of constantly having to experience things without him if I want to do anything outside his comfort zone.

We talked about it a lot, and I told him I don’t want him to come to the theme park if he’s only coming out of guilt. I also told him I love him as he is and I don’t want him to force himself to be someone he isn’t. But I still feel hurt. I wanted him to want to share this with me, and I think I’m grieving the fact that he doesn’t.

I guess what I'm asking is how do you navigate a relationship where one person is more adventurous and wants shared experiences, while the other has a much smaller comfort zone and often says no? How do I respect his boundaries without feeling like my life and our relationship keep shrinking around his anxiety? And how do we compromise without one of us always feeling pressured or disappointed?

I really do love him and want to work on this. I don’t think this specific trip is a deal breaker, but the pattern is starting to hurt more than I know what to do with.

Plus CVT with about 57k miles. The dealer has it listed for $5,495, but with their ETR/doc fees it comes out to $6,193 before Georgia TAVT, so probably around $6.6k total.

It has a clean title, not salvage or rebuilt, but the Carfax shows it was in an accident in 2023 with damage to the left side and right front, functional damage reported, and a side airbag deployed. I found auction photos from after the accident and visually the car honestly doesn’t look bad, with the main obvious issue being the side airbag/seat area. It was also repossessed later and went through auction.

The service history looks pretty decent overall, but I don’t see proof of CVT fluid service. The car is currently at the dealer being repaired before I test drive it, and I’m going to ask exactly what they’re repairing.

The price just seems too good to ignore, especially since I’m planning on moving out soon and would like to lower my monthly expenses as much as possible. The car I have right now has a high monthly payment and I’d be passing it down to my sister, so I’m trying to figure out if this Versa would be a smart move or if the history makes it too risky.

I know Nissan CVTs don’t have the best reputation, but I’m hoping the mileage is low enough that I still have time to properly care for the CVT and hopefully extend its life with the right maintenance.

Would you consider this car if it drives well, or is the CVT/airbag history enough reason to walk away? What should I ask the dealer or look out for before buying?

I’m looking for advice because I feel like I’m being left in employment limbo.

This is a seasonal job I worked before, and I was rehired/returning this season for extra money. It is my second job, and management knew when they brought me back that I already had another job and would need to plan around that schedule.

It has now been a few weeks. Other seasonal employees have already started working, including my boyfriend, who also works there. I completed training and received my first paycheck, so I know I was officially brought back. I did miss one training day, but I was told I would just need to make it up before officially starting.

The issue is that I still have not been scheduled, and no one has clearly told me when I’m starting, how to make up the missed training day, or whether there is an issue preventing me from being scheduled.

I have reached out numerous times. At one point, I was told to email the managers my schedule and the days I could work, and that it would be handled. When I did that, the general manager responded in a way that made it seem like sending my schedule/availability was a problem. All he said was that availability is set for 90 days and that the other managers had told me this.

That did not answer my actual question. I wasn’t trying to casually change my availability. I was trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do next because I still have no start date, no schedule, and no plan for making up the missed training day.

My boyfriend has also asked the assistant managers for help multiple times. One assistant manager even asked their manager about it, but the manager acted like it had already been handled. It has not been handled.

Because this is my second job, I need to know what is going on so I can plan my availability and income realistically. If they don’t have hours for me, if there is an issue with my availability, or if I need to complete something before being scheduled, I would rather be told directly instead of being kept on payroll with no clear answer.

Part of me wants to quit because the stress and uncertainty are starting to feel like more than the extra money is worth. But because my boyfriend still works there, I don’t want to create tension or make things awkward for him.

Is this normal for a seasonal job? Should I send one final written message asking them to confirm whether I’m still being scheduled this season and how to make up the missed training day? Should I quit? Or should I stop waiting on them and move on while technically staying on payroll?

What would be the most professional way to handle this? Any advice is appreciated.

Hi everyone

I'm kind of stressed out and need advice. I'm supposed to be returning to my seasonal position soon, but the scheduling/availability situation is already making me nervous and I'm not sure how to handle it.

For context, I have another job and I communicated before returning that I plan on staying at that job. Because of that, I don't have set availability that stays the same every week or for months in a time. My availability depends on my other work schedule, so I can give them the specific dates I'm available a month in advance (they schedule weekly), but I can’t honestly give a fixed 90-day availability.

The issue is that ever since training started, it kind of feels like they’ve been acting like I never told them I was staying at my other job. They made multiple training days “mandatory” even though I was already scheduled to work at my other job on some of those days. The response felt like it was basically “make it work,” which really stressed me out because I had already communicated my situation ahead of time.

I ended up having to miss one day of training, and I’m trying to make it up, but honestly I don’t feel like anyone is really helping me figure out how to do that.

One of the assistant managers has been helping me and told me to email my June availability to the other assistant managers. I did that and included the ASMs on the email. I listed the dates I could work and also mentioned that I’m having trouble accessing my work email and would appreciate assistance with that.

Then another manager replied saying that my availability was already set for the next 90 days and that scheduling questions should be directed to the ASMs. But the ASMs were already included in the email, and I had sent it because an ASM told me to. So now I’m confused because I feel like I did what I was told, but somehow it still came across wrong.

I don’t want to argue or seem difficult, but I also don’t want to ignore the fact that I do have another job and cannot give the same availability for 90 days. This is making me regret going back before I even start, but I need the extra money right now.

Would you wait to speak to the ASM who was originally helping you, send a clarification email, or take this as a red flag and reconsider the job? I’m trying to handle this professionally without over-explaining or making it worse.