Victor Wembanyama is known as The Alien, so I compared his games against the NBA's two space-themed teams:

Houston Rockets and Phoenix Suns.

Through 2025-26, Wemby has played 18 regular-season games against them:

• Rockets: 11
• Suns: 7

Wemby vs space teams

19.7 PTS / 10.8 REB / 2.8 AST
0.9 STL / 3.1 BLK / 3.5 TOV
+0.9 +/-
9-9 record (50.0%)

Shooting:

46.0 FG%
22.9 3P%
88.4 FT%
56.0 TS%

Wemby vs everyone else

23.9 PTS / 11.1 REB / 3.7 AST
1.2 STL / 3.5 BLK / 3.0 TOV
+4.3 +/-
81-78 record (50.9%)

Shooting:

48.8 FG%
35.4 3P%
81.1 FT%
60.0 TS%

After controlling for season and minutes:

PTS: −4.59, p=.028
REB: −0.57, p=.553
AST: −0.96, p=.057
STL: −0.24, p=.370
BLK: −0.47, p=.338
TOV: +0.43, p=.305
+/-: −3.43, p=.323

The biggest difference is on 3s:

Space teams:

22/96 — 22.9%

Everyone else:

364/1,027 — 35.4%

That's a −12.5 percentage-point difference.

tl;dr: Wemby averages 19.7/10.8/2.8 against the Rockets and Suns versus 23.9/11.1/3.7 otherwise, with a significant overall P/R/A decline. The biggest difference is three-point shooting: 22.9% vs 35.4%.

Rules:

• I'm buying one of whatever the team is named after.
• If there's an actual market for it, I'll use a rough market price.
• If you can't legally or physically buy it, it's worth $0 for accounting purposes.

Eastern Conference

Boston Celtics: $0

Celtics are people.

You cannot buy Irish people.

New York Knicks: ~$99

Knicks are short for Knickerbockers, which are pants.

You can get an actual pair of knickerbockers for around $99.

Milwaukee Bucks: $~4500

A buck is a white tailed deer, which are around 4500 bucks.

Cleveland Cavaliers: $0

Cavaliers are daring horsemen.

Horsemen are people.

You can't buy them.

Orlando Magic: $0

Magic isn't a physical object.

I also could not locate any magic for sale(magicians don't count).

Indiana Pacers: ~$2,000

Pacers can refer to pacing horses.

A normal horse can be bought for around $2,000.

Philadelphia 76ers: $0

The 76ers refer to 1776.

Unfortunately I cannot purchase the year 1776.

Miami Heat: $0

Heat is energy.

You can pay for energy, but there is no standardized quantity called one Heat.

Chicago Bulls: ~$3,567

Bulls are cattle.

Using a roughly 1,740-pound bull at about $2.05 per pound gives:

1,740 × $2.05 = $3,567.

Atlanta Hawks: ~$1,500

Hawks can actually be bred and sold by licensed falconers.

A Harris's hawk can cost around $1,500.

Brooklyn Nets: $6.99

A basketball net costs around $6.99.

Toronto Raptors: $12,412,500

A raptor is a dinosaur.

An actual Deinonychus skeleton nicknamed "The Raptor" sold at auction for $12.4 million.

Charlotte Hornets: ~$12.58

You can buy preserved hornet specimens for around $12.58.

Washington Wizards: $0

Because we said buying and not renting, neither a magician nor Daniel Radcliffe count.

Detroit Pistons: ~$25.54

A replacement engine piston can cost around $25.54.

Western Conference

Oklahoma City Thunder: $0

Thunder is a sound.

You cannot buy a sound wave.

Sam Presti will probably still turn it into five first-round picks.

Denver Nuggets: ~$4,377

The Nuggets were named after the gold-mining history of Colorado, so I'm using a one-ounce gold nugget.

One ounce of gold: roughly $4,377.

Minnesota Timberwolves: $0

Timberwolves are wolves. It's not legal to buy a timberwolf.

Los Angeles Clippers: ~$287,000

Clippers are sailing ships.

Used clipper-style sailing ships can cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, so I'll use about $287,000.

Suddenly Steve Ballmer doesn't seem so rich.

Dallas Mavericks: ~$2,117.50

A maverick originally meant an unbranded range animal, especially a calf.

At roughly 550 pounds and about $3.85 per pound:

550 × $3.85 = $2,117.50.

Dallas is cattle.

Phoenix Suns: $0

The Sun is not currently for sale.

It also weighs roughly 2 octillion tons, so shipping it would likely be impossible. Not even Ishiba is rich enough to buy it.

New Orleans Pelicans: $0

Pelicans are birds.

You can buy chickens.

You can buy ducks. But you can't buy a pelican...

Los Angeles Lakers: $0

The Lakers were named after Minnesota's lakes.

You can buy property containing a lake, but you can't really buy one generic lake.

Sacramento Kings: $0

Slavery was abolished by the 13th Amendment, therefore you can't buy Lebron James.

Golden State Warriors: $0

Warriors are people.

Houston Rockets: ~69,750,000

A rocket is actually something you can put a price on.

A standard Falcon 9 launch costs roughly $69.75 million.

Utah Jazz: $0

Jazz is a genre of music.

You can buy a jazz album.

You cannot buy jazz.

Utah therefore owns $0 worth of jazz, which feels historically appropriate.

Memphis Grizzlies: $0

Grizzlies are bears.

You can't buy them, just like you can't buy a timberwolf.

San Antonio Spurs: ~$150

Spurs are metal tools worn on riding boots.

A real pair can cost around $150.

Portland Trail Blazers: $0

Trail blazers are pioneers.

Pioneers are people.

Final Standings

Among the teams with things I could actually put a price on:

1. Houston Rockets — $69,750,000
2. Toronto Raptors — $12,412,500
3. Los Angeles Clippers — ~$287,000
4. Milwaukee Bucks — ~$4,500
5. Denver Nuggets — ~$4,377
6. Chicago Bulls — ~$3,567
7. Dallas Mavericks — ~$2,117.50
8. Indiana Pacers — ~$2,000
9. Atlanta Hawks — ~$1,500
10. San Antonio Spurs — ~$150
11. New York Knicks — ~$99
12. Detroit Pistons — ~$25.54
13. Charlotte Hornets — ~$12.58
14. Brooklyn Nets — $6.99

And tied for last at $0:

Celtics, Cavaliers, Magic, 76ers, Heat, Wizards, Thunder, Timberwolves, Suns, Pelicans, Lakers, Kings, Warriors, Jazz, Grizzlies and Trail Blazers.

Conference Totals

Eastern Conference: $12,424,211.11

Western Conference: $70,043,644.50

Entire NBA: $82,467,855.61

The Rockets and Raptors alone account for about 99.6% of the value of the entire league.

Meanwhile, the Brooklyn Nets could double their valuation by purchasing a second net.

For 66 straight regular-season games, from December 2, 1987 through April 21, 1988, Jordan was the one and only Bulls player with the most points in that game.

Nobody tied him once.

Next best since 1980:

Player	Consecutive games as sole team scoring leader	Years
Michael Jordan	66	1987-1988
Michael Jordan	41	1986-1987
James Harden	37	2018-2019
Kobe Bryant	34	2006
Isaiah Thomas	32	2017
Vince Carter	28	2000
Tim Duncan	27	2002

TL;DR: LeBron James has played 1,622 regular-season games without ever recording exactly 27 points, 7 rebounds, and 7 assists. Running the probability analysis gives an estimated 20% chance of making it this far without one.

LeBron has now played 23 NBA seasons.

His career averages are:

26.8 points, 7.5 rebounds, 7.4 assists

Yet in 1,622 regular-season games, he has never finished with exactly:

27 points, 7 rebounds and 7 assists.

The original version of this analysis, after the 2017-18 season, estimated a 31.87% chance that LeBron would make it that far without one.

Source: https://np.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/96hp4p/oc_lebron_has_averaged_2777_for_15_years_why/

Eight seasons later, he still has zero.

So I decided to do an update

The model

Points, rebounds, and assists are correlated, so you can't just calculate:

P(27 points) × P(7 rebounds) × P(7 assists)

Instead, like the original analysis, I fit a separate multivariate normal distribution for each season using LeBron's points, rebounds, and assists.

An exact 27-7-7 is treated as the range of:

• 26.5 to 27.5 points
• 6.5 to 7.5 rebounds
• 6.5 to 7.5 assists

For each season, the model estimates the probability p of one game landing in that box.

If LeBron plays G games, then:

Chance of no 27-7-7 that season = (1 - p)^G

Then you multiply those season probabilities across his career.

Here are the result:

Season	Games	27-7-7 chance per game	No 27-7-7 that season	Career chance of still having none
2003-04	79	0.071%	94.57%	94.57%
2004-05	80	0.108%	91.69%	86.71%
2005-06	79	0.095%	92.76%	80.43%
2006-07	78	0.132%	90.19%	72.55%
2007-08	75	0.079%	94.24%	68.37%
2008-09	81	0.080%	93.70%	64.06%
2009-10	76	0.087%	93.60%	59.96%
2010-11	79	0.118%	91.11%	54.63%
2011-12	62	0.129%	92.34%	50.44%
2012-13	76	0.140%	89.88%	45.33%
2013-14	77	0.135%	90.14%	40.86%
2014-15	69	0.118%	92.18%	37.67%
2015-16	76	0.116%	91.56%	34.49%
2016-17	74	0.078%	94.42%	32.56%
2017-18	82	0.054%	95.67%	31.15%
2018-19	55	0.074%	96.02%	29.92%
2019-20	67	0.055%	96.38%	28.83%
2020-21	45	0.131%	94.28%	27.19%
2021-22	56	0.086%	95.32%	25.91%
2022-23	55	0.107%	94.30%	24.44%
2023-24	71	0.098%	93.31%	22.80%
2024-25	70	0.094%	93.65%	21.35%
2025-26	60	0.083%	95.16%	20.3%

So after 23 seasons:

Chance LeBron would still have zero 27-7-7 games: 20.3%

Or roughly:

1 in 5.

Is this actually a statistical anomaly?

Not really, 20% isn't really that low, it's still surprising though. And now that he's on the 6ers, it's unlikely he'll be able to/need to consistently score enough to be able to get a 27/7/7 game.

Here they are. Which new team name is the best?

Eastern Conference

• West End Celtics
• Prospect Heights Nets
• Chelsea Knicks
• South Philadelphia East 76ers
• Downtown Toronto Raptors
• Near West Side Bulls
• Downtown Cavaliers
• Midtown Pistons
• Mile Square Pacers
• Westown Bucks
• Downtown Atlanta Hawks
• Uptown Hornets
• Downtown Miami Heat
• Callahan Magic
• Penn Quarter Wizards

Western Conference

• Auraria Nuggets
• Downtown West Timberwolves
• Central Oklahoma City Thunder
• Lloyd District Trail Blazers
• Downtown Jazz
• Mission Bay Warriors
• South Park Lakers
• Morningside Park Clippers
• Downtown Phoenix Suns
• Downtown Sacramento Kings
• Victory Park Mavericks
• Downtown Houston Rockets
• Downtown Memphis Grizzlies
• Central Business District Pelicans
• East Side Spurs

Google Maps neighborhood names are famously inaccurate and sometimes seem to have been chosen by someone who has never actually visited the city. That's kind of the point. So yes, I know everyone who lives in one of these cities is going to tell me the correct name down below.

I compared every 2025–26 player averaging at least 15 points per game against the league’s top-10 and bottom-10 defenses.

Teams were classified using their final full-season defensive rating. The middle ten defenses were excluded, and players needed at least eight games against both groups.

Top-10 defenses: OKC, DET, SAS, BOS, TOR, HOU, NYK, MIN, ATL, PHX
Bottom-10 defenses: WAS, UTA, SAC, MIL, BKN, NOP, IND, MEM, CHI, DEN

Source for team defensive ratings: https://www.basketball-reference.com/leagues/NBA_2026.html

Biggest scoring declines

Positive decline means the player scored more per 36 against bottom-10 defenses.

Rank	Player	Top-10 PTS/36	Bottom-10 PTS/36	Decline	Top TS%	Bottom TS%	TS decline
1	Joel Embiid	28.0	35.6	7.6	60.5%	64.1%	3.6 pp
2	Giannis Antetokounmpo	31.1	38.2	7.1	64.8%	65.6%	0.8 pp
3	Brandon Miller	20.0	25.9	5.9	51.3%	59.1%	7.8 pp
4	Donovan Mitchell	27.9	33.7	5.8	60.0%	63.8%	3.7 pp
5	Alperen Şengün	19.9	25.4	5.5	54.5%	62.7%	8.1 pp
6	Shaedon Sharpe	22.7	28.0	5.3	50.6%	62.8%	12.2 pp
7	Michael Porter Jr.	26.1	30.9	4.8	60.5%	64.8%	4.3 pp
8	Shai Gilgeous-Alexander	31.4	36.2	4.8	66.4%	66.9%	0.6 pp
9	Bam Adebayo	20.5	24.6	4.2	54.4%	54.9%	0.5 pp
10	Paolo Banchero	21.1	24.8	3.7	53.9%	58.1%	4.2 pp
11	Luka Dončić	31.6	35.2	3.6	58.1%	64.6%	6.4 pp
12	Keyonte George	24.8	28.1	3.3	60.2%	62.2%	2.0 pp
13	Jamal Murray	25.3	28.5	3.3	59.0%	67.2%	8.2 pp
14	Austin Reaves	22.1	24.9	2.8	61.0%	66.2%	5.2 pp
15	Julius Randle	21.5	24.2	2.7	55.6%	61.1%	5.5 pp

The average decline is 2.13 fewer points per 36 on 2.79% lower TS% for context.

The best reverse examples are Curry who averages 29 pts/36 on 63.6% TS against bottom 10 defenses. compared to 32.4 pts/36 on 61.6% TS against top 10 defenses. Ant averages 30.2 pts/36 on 65.6% TS on top 10 defenses comapred to 30.8 pts per 36 on 60.2% TS against bottom 10 defenses.

Eg. A player finishes with 40 points, so at first glance it looks like a monster game. Then you notice he took 37 shots, went 4-for-20 from three, turned it over eight times and spent the rest of the evening committing acts against offensive basketball.

So I made the Basketball Terrorism Score to quantify this.

To qualify, a player has to score at least 30 points.

The formula is:

3 × missed field goals
+ missed threes
+ 2 × missed free throws
+ 4 × turnovers
+ 0.5 × free-throw attempts
+ 10 for losing the game

Here are the top 10:

Rank	Player	Date	PTS	FG	3PT	FT	TO	Result	Terrorism Score
1	James Harden	1/8/2020	41	9/34	4/20	19/23	8	W	142.5
2	Bam Adebayo	3/10/2026	83	20/43	7/22	36/43	5	W	139.5
3	James Harden	12/3/2019	50	11/37	4/20	24/24	5	L	136.0
4	Kobe Bryant	11/7/2002	41	17/47	0/8	7/7	5	L	131.5
5	LaMelo Ball	11/27/2024	32	11/35	7/20	3/5	7	L	129.5
6	Russell Westbrook	10/28/2016	51	17/44	2/10	15/20	5	W	129.0
7	Russell Westbrook	2/26/2015	39	12/38	1/10	14/16	4	L	125.0
8	Cade Cunningham	11/10/2025	46	14/45	2/11	16/18	2	W	123.0
9	James Harden	11/16/2019	49	16/41	8/22	9/11	5	W	118.5
T-10	Kobe Bryant	4/13/2016	60	22/50	6/21	10/12	2	W	117.0
T-10	Allen Iverson	3/8/2005	33	10/25	2/8	11/12	12	L	117.0

1. James Harden: 142.5

41 points, 9/34 FG, 4/20 from three, 19/23 FT, 8 turnovers

Forty-one points on 26.5% shooting, with eight turnovers and twenty three-point attempts, in a game your team still won.

Holy moly, prime Harden was something.

2. Bam "Wilt Bam Kobe" Adebayo 139.5(83 point game)

Bam dropped 83 points against Washington on March 10, 2026, the second-highest individual scoring game in NBA history.

He had:

20/43 FG
7/22 from three
36/43 FT
5 turnovers

But 23 missed shots, 15 missed threes, seven missed free throws and 43 free-throw attempts still produce 139.5 Terrorism Points.

It is almost impossible to describe an 83-point game as basketball terrorism, and yet the math thinks it is.

3. James Harden 136.0

Harden's other masterpiece came barely a month earlier in December 2019.

Against San Antonio:

50 points
11/37 FG
4/20 from three
24/24 FT
5 turnovers

And Houston lost 135-133 in double overtime.

Harden therefore owns 2 of the top 3 spots, they used to call him Hitler for a reason ig.

4. Kobe Bryant 131.5

Against Boston in 2002, Kobe scored 41 points on:

17/47 FG
0/8 from three
7/7 FT
5 turnovers

The Lakers lost 98-95.

Those 30 missed field goals were the record for any fully tracked game until Cade finally managed to miss 31 in 2025.

u/InexorableWaffle did this post a year ago. So I figured I'd update it.

The methodology is simple: to make the club, you need at least half of LeBron’s current career totals in all five categories.

LeBron finished 2025-26 with 43,440 points, 12,016 assists, 12,095 rebounds, 2,417 steals, and 1,185 blocks, making the new Half-LeBron thresholds 21,720 points, 6,008 assists, 6,048 rebounds, 1,209 steals, and 593 blocks.

With that said, here’s the club:

Player	Points	Assists	Rebounds	Blocks	Steals
LeBron James	43,440	12,016	12,095	1,185	2,417
Kobe Bryant	33,643	6,306	7,047	640	1,944
James Harden	29,339	8,873	6,809	683	1,794
Clyde Drexler	22,195	6,125	6,677	719	2,207
Half LeBron James	21,720	6,008	6,048	593	1,209

Drexler is barely hanging on. His 22,195 career points are only 475 above the current threshold. Another 951 LeBron points would raise Half-LeBron above Drexler’s career total and kick him out of the club.

Kobe’s weak point is assists. He finished with 6,306, compared with the current Half-LeBron line of 6,008. LeBron would need another 597 assists to push the threshold past him.

Active players who could join

Jokić

He’s at 18,009 points, 8,977 rebounds, 6,080 assists, 1,041 steals, and 589 blocks.

That means he already clears the rebound and assist thresholds and is really close in blocks, four blocks short of Half-LeBron.

He needs another 3,711 points and 168 steals at the current thresholds, though obviously LeBron will continue raising both numbers this season.

Still, Jokić is only 31 and just averaged 28/13/11 assists last season. Of everyone outside the club, he looks by far the most likely to eventually get there.

Giannis

Giannis is closer in some categories than Jokić and much farther away in another.

He has 21,531 points, 8,882 rebounds, 4,484 assists, 995 steals, and 1,088 blocks.

He’s only 189 points short of the current scoring threshold and already annihilates the rebound and block requirements. But assists are a huge problem: he still needs 1,524 just to reach today’s Half-LeBron mark, plus another 214 steals.

So Giannis should clear four of the five eventually, but whether he can ever catch the assist line, especially while LeBron keeps raising it, is the real question.

KD

He has 32,597 points, 8,254 rebounds, 5,280 assists, 1,235 steals, and 1,344 blocks.

He clears literally everything except assists.

Unfortunately, he’s still 728 assists short of the current cutoff, and he’s 37. I don't see it happening tbh.

The “one stat away” club

There’s also a second group I find interesting: players who clear four of the five Half-LeBron thresholds and are excluded by exactly one category.

Missing points:
Scottie Pippen

Missing assists:
Karl Malone, Michael Jordan, Dirk Nowitzki, Kevin Durant, Carmelo Anthony, Hakeem Olajuwon, Dominique Wilkins, Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, Vince Carter, Charles Barkley, Robert Parish, Larry Bird

Missing rebounds:
None

Missing blocks:
Russell Westbrook

Missing steals:
Nobody

East

• Pistons: 50 - 66
• Celtics: 51 - 63
• Cavaliers: 50 - 57
• Knicks: 44 - 57
• Hawks: 39 - 54
• 76ers: 39 - 53
• Hornets: 41 - 50
• Raptors: 39 - 50
• Magic: 34 - 50
• Heat: 37 - 47
• Bucks: 26 - 38
• Bulls: 21 - 37
• Pacers: 12 - 25
• Nets: 18 - 24
• Wizards: 15 - 19

West

• Thunder: 59 - 70
• Spurs: 54 - 67
• Nuggets: 45 - 65
• Rockets: 47 - 61
• Lakers: 45 - 56
• Suns: 38 - 55
• Timberwolves: 43 - 53
• Clippers: 35 - 50
• Trail Blazers: 36 - 47
• Warriors: 32 - 43
• Mavericks: 21 - 33
• Pelicans: 24 - 31
• Grizzlies: 22 - 30
• Jazz: 17 - 30
• Kings: 19 - 26

The nuggets played a whopping 20 1-possession games, going 9-11. Cleveland played the least out of good teams, just 7 1-possession games.

LeBron took Cleveland to the NBA Finals in 2007.

Russell Westbrook wasn’t drafted until 2008.

Westbrook then had enough time to play 18 seasons, win MVP, become a 9x All-Star, break the career triple-double record, play for multiple generations of NBA teams, and retire.

And LeBron is still an active NBA player heading into 2026-27.

It’s one thing to say LeBron has played forever. It’s another to realize that players drafted after he had already made a Finals run have now completed full Hall of Fame careers and retired before him.

Furthermore, Dwight Howard is already actually in the Hall of Fame, and LeBron is still playing.

In this post earlier, u/z4guy made All-time starting 5s by Last Name Initial: https://np.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/1vlz3cm/best_alltime_starting_5_by_last_name_initial/

So, I decided to put the rosters together(10 players max), and ran a simulation in BBGM, 50 games, 1 home, 1 away against each since X can't field a team with everyone at the prime.

Standings

Rank	Team	W-L
1	W	42-8
2	B	41-9
3	J	40-10
4	D	40-10
5	G	38-12
6	M	37-13
7	R	34-16
8	P	33-17
9	C	32-18
10	T	31-19
11	E	31-19
12	L	29-21
13	H	28-22
14	A	28-22
15	S	26-24
16	O	23-27
17	N	20-30
18	I	18-32
19	F	15-35
20	V	13-37
21	K	13-37
22	Y	7-43
23	Q	4-46
24	U	2-48
25	Z	0-50

MVP + DPOY: Wilt Chamberlain: 25.3/11.6/3.4 BLK
Scoring leader: James Harden: 28.4 PPG
Assist leader: John Stockton: 12.7 APG
Blocks: Wemby: 4.1 BPG

W somehow had the best record, while a team with Kareem + Giannis went 28-22 and Shaq/Hakeem's O team went 23-27.

Then the playoffs restored order:

Semis: D 4-1 P, J 4-1 B
Finals: J 4-2 D

LeBron won Finals MVP.

23.0 PPG
5.7 RPG
5.8 APG

Yes team Z really went 0-50, poor Zubac.

Sim was ran on Basketball GM: https://play.basketball-gm.com/ by the GOAT u/dumbmatter