u/Strict_Clock_6407

You know what I did wrong? I woke up late, that's all!

During the COVID times, I was in my twelfth grade. It was a weekend, most probably a Saturday, since I remember there were no classes in the morning then.

I woke up late, maybe around 10 AM, and got ready by 11:45 AM- 12 PM. Sat down for breakfast, and this man starts cursing,

"Just wait and see, you will get an abusive husband in the future. He will be@t you everyday and then you will understand."

Why? Only because I woke up late one day. And till date there is no apology from him for his ugly words.

It's either that, or blatant body shaming, or shaming me for my salary (it's my first job, obviously it's not going to be the best!).

"Even the sweeper in my office is paid more than you."

Like, okay and? You keep pushing me to do MBA or MTech, and make it seem like I am making the choice. Meanwhile I am preparing to switch streams and careers because I hate where I am now!! All of this while holding onto my current job amidst the AI scare.

And now he keeps hovering around me, talking about how they'll get me married in 3-5 years and I feel the ick so bad!

How am I supposed to marry when my entire image of marriage and a couple is so fucked up?

To top it off, I am attracted to women, which means I will be disowned for coming out (and I genuinely don't care).

Ugh! I hate being at home, and around them so much!! If I get angry, then I'm being rude. So I cannot even express my emotions to them.

I won't take the name of the sub, just incase it's against the rules, but it's a movie related sub.

The movie flopped horribly, despite all the hype, and now the members of that subreddit don't know what to discuss, so they've started posting soft porn pictures and videos, some of which are ai-generated, on it and they make such disgusting and vulgar comments. 😭

I understand that freedom of expression exists and people have the right to say whatever they want, but how tf is it okay for them to slutshame the actresses and call them r*nd like it's a very casual thing? 😭

I didn't even search for that cursed sub. It came on my feed when I was scrolling without logging in, and I regret it so much.

I just feel so dumb at my current level. Really dumb and ignorant.

All I want is to go back to kindergarten and actually learn things from scratch, and this time, I actually want to learn for knowledge not the marks.

There isn't a day where I feel like learning something— human biology in detail, forensics, mechanics of a car/bike, botany, makeup, finance, tax— but then there's my shaky foundation because I studied under pressure and marks, and there's also a lack of schedule and my exhaustion.

The thing is I have a 9-5 job. I am too exhausted to wake up early in the morning to study or exercise. Post office, since I walk to and fro, I am sleepy and tired, manage to exercise for an hour, have dinner, finish my step count and go to sleep.

I also want to have time to chill out on Wattpad, and since I'm switching streams, I studied science and engineering and now I'm switching to commerce, I have to study everything from the beginning to catch up.

But my shaky foundation and gaps in knowledge is pissing me off so much.

I tried using schedules, but a few days later I get physically too exhausted and then it's game over for the schedule.

I am so overwhelmed and confused right now, and I really need your advice on how to deal with this mess.

Thank you!

I just feel so dumb at my current level. Really dumb and ignorant.

All I want is to go back to kindergarten and actually learn things from scratch, and this time, I actually want to learn for knowledge not the marks.

There isn't a day where I feel like learning something— human biology in detail, forensics, mechanics of a car/bike, botany, makeup, finance, tax— but then there's my shaky foundation because I studied under pressure and marks, and there's also a lack of schedule and my exhaustion.

The thing is I have a 9-5 job. I am too exhausted to wake up early in the morning to study or exercise. Post office, since I walk to and fro, I am sleepy and tired, manage to exercise for an hour, have dinner, finish my step count and go to sleep.

I also want to have time to chill out on Wattpad, and since I'm switching streams, I studied science and engineering and now I'm switching to commerce, I have to study everything from the beginning to catch up.

But my shaky foundation and gaps in knowledge is pissing me off so much.

I tried using schedules, but a few days later I get physically too exhausted and then it's game over for the schedule.

I am so overwhelmed and confused right now, and I really need your advice on how to deal with this mess.

Thank you!

Hey gang!

I'm writing a story where my character is emotionless, indifferent, and so quiet that she speaks ten words in a chapter.

But I don't want to make it sound like I never put any effort in her, she's just like that.

And with emotionless, I mean no to very little emotional range, not the emotionally suppressed type of characters.

Any tips on how I can achieve that, because while reading her parts, it does come off as boring and dull? I want to do the "Show, don't tell" thing with her.

Hi everyone!

On 27th August, I placed an order for a Rakhi set via an app for my brother who stays in the college hostel. I had selected for the same-day delivery and paid an extra ₹25 for it. The app promised/claimed that the delivery will happen between 6AM-10PM on the same day.

But there was no movement from their side even until 10:11 PM. I even sent them a mail, stating that due hostel restrictions, no deliveries would be allowed after 10:30 PM.

The next day, my mom tells me that the delivery person dropped it off at the gate at 12:35 AM!! Nearly around midnight, when even the security guard isn't there to receive it and note it down in the register. He just dropped it somewhere near the gate, marked it as delivered, and left.

My brother didn't receive it, nor did the security find anything.

We called the delivery person, who later told us to pay him extra money to deliver the parcel.

By then, I had sent a mail to the customer support of the company and even forwarded it to their grievance officer as well. Frustrated with the lack of response from their side, I filed a complaint on NCH.

Since then, we get messages from their customer support who tell us to check with the neighbours (it's a college, what neighbours?!) and the security.

Yesterday, the company sends a mail that they had come to a resolution after a lot of thinking— they can redeliver the parcel (after the occasion has passed 🥀) or they can refund the money to their in-app wallet, which will be valid for 90 days.

I asked Google if this was even legal, and it said that it is considered as an Unfair Practice according to The Consumer Act, 2019. And that companies cannot keep the money in their in-app wallet without the explicit consent of the customer.

I am not sure if Google is right, or hallucinating stuff, so I wanted to ask you all once.

A similar incident happened with us in July, with another company who sent back the money to their in-app wallet, but didn't return a convenience fee of ₹49 to us, despite causing us inconvenience and not delivering the item at all.

My dad keeps pushing me to study for CAT and clear it to pursue a higher education for better job opportunities.

But I am scared to quit my job and study because of the job market. What if I don't get a job post graduation? What if I become financially dependent on them?

I admit, I don't like being paid peanuts at my current job, but I don't want to quit it without any surety that in the future I will have a better job.

I've read and heard about so many graduates being unemployed even after all their skills and degrees from prestigious colleges.

Plus, my brother started doing his B.Tech last year, and the fees for his course is alot, around 8 lakhs a year. If I also have to study, then that is an additional financial burden for my dad, which I don't want him to bear.

Additionally, I am also preparing to switch streams, and go from Engineering (SDE) to Commerce (CMA), because I find the latter to be of my interest.

All of this is leaving me really confused— I want to have better job opportunities, but I cannot handle being financially dependent on my parents, or being a burden to them.

Edit: as an alternative, should I do a distant course instead and juggle it with office?

Hi everyone!

I've become really fond of this Bhajan, but there are a few verses I don't understand. I tried to look it up on Google and Youtube, but there is nothing.

Can someone please write down the verses with meaning? I know it is too much work, and I apologise for it.

Hi everyone.

Can you recommend some YT channels/resources to build a foundation in CMA?

I come from a science background and plan to switch, but I really have no idea about the subjects or anything, and would like to study them before registering for the exam next year.

Thank you!

Hey!

I've been really curious about the state of therapy in India. The reason is because two of my friends got crazy ghosted by their therapists after the first session.

The first friend, I met in college. She had attachment issues due to some trauma in her school days. She told me she started taking therapy after joining college. Whenever I asked about her session, most of them never happened because the therapist bailed out on her last minute, or simply ghosted her.

The second friend, I met in the office. The corporate situation for her was terrible, paired with her childhood trauma of being humiliated due to bad performance; this led to her having mental health issues: panic attacks, insomnia, heart palpitations, suicidal thoughts (she often told me that she wanted to jump from the terrace of the office building) and having breakdowns in the washroom.

After a lot of urging from my side, she finally decided to start therapy in secret, because her parents treat mental health issues as a taboo topic.

But, after the first session, even her therapist started ghosting/ignoring her messages. All she wanted was a certificate to prove that the project was causing issues and be released from it, but was denied that.

She was losing it with every ignored message and I could only push her to find another one. Anyway, she turned in her resignation letter and is now on notice period with an inability to eat due to her anxiety.

Is such therapist behaviour normal?

Edit: I am NOT looking for any medical advice.

It's been almost a year since I started working.

In the initial five months, my superiors/supervisors were women. They were loud, angry, and never gave space for mistakes. One of them was so strict that a lot of us had to mentally prepare before joining meetings with her.

Post training, my manager and senior manager were both women and I dreaded it every time they called.

But, since May, I switched domains and now both of them are men, and my senior manager sits in the same room as us. He's very chill and nice.

Today, I realised that I feel more comfortable and mentally safe with my current supervisors than the previous.

Are women supervisors more strict because higher ups won't take them seriously if they're chill like men?

What is the reason for this divide in behaviour and likeability?

Also, I'm not trying to generalise in the title.

Yes, there are some really cool and chill women supervisors. Unfortunately I am yet to experience that.

Edit:

Reframing my question to,

"Why are women supervisors way more strict than their male counterparts?"

[ vent + seeking advice ]

Hey everyone!

Today, I realised how little I know about my city, Bengaluru, and how lonely I have been over the months.

I keep avoiding going out because I'm scared of being judged by people. Judged for my body, not for my queerness.

I'm tired of not knowing any spots or good restaurants when someone asks me about it. I'm just tired of living in a box, doomscrolling and/or reading.

I want to step out and explore. I want to discover places and make friends and hang out.

But at the same time, I have restrictions— parental and financial, and a cousin sister who recently moved into town for work.

I barely have any friends— lost contact with school and college friends, and I don't hang out with my office colleagues outside work.

Tired of my life filled with boredom, I have decided to take the first step— trying to be regular at BFR (Bengaluru Front Runners; a queer club for walking/running) and meet people.

But I want to go beyond it as well. Maybe explore board games and sorts.

I am really awkward and quiet in the beginning, but I promise I can be fun if given some time.

>Summary:

>I'm tired of staying cooped up at home doing nothing. I want to start going out, exploring Bengaluru, and meeting new people - specifically queer people.

>I'm planning to start with BFR, since I've taken part in two of their events before.

>My main hurdles are: >1) My parents won't let me go out alone and I don't want to tell them it's a queer group, plus I don't want my cousin who just moved here to find out. >2) I'm on a tight budget. >3) I get very uncomfortable in crowds, partly because of past body-shaming.

On and off, I've been thinking about it a lot. How am I supposed to deal with the imagination/possibility that my identity might become the reason I get disowned and my family doesn't accept me.

Being accepted and understood has a 0.01% chance, while the opposite is huge, and sometimes that just messes me up mentally and emotionally, I have no idea how to deal with it.

As it is, my emotional range is lesser than a rock or a dry log, and yet when these thoughts plague me, I feel something beyond just disassociation.

How does one even deal/live with such emotions?

As the title states, how do you "trust the process" of fitness, getting healthy and weight loss when there is barely any progress?

I feel like giving up, even though I don't want to. 🥀

Don't get me started on the meals. That is beyond my control since I stay in a PG. If I manage to overcome restrictions like that, then there is monetary restrictions when it comes to snacks, side dishes, and protein.

Genuine question!

There are two sentences I've heard from a lot of straight people whenever they find out a woman is a lesbian or sapphic:

1. Lesbians are man-haters.

2. Domestic violence and divorce rates are high among sapphic women.

Where did such things even come up from? How does loving a woman make us man-haters?

Genuine question!

There are two sentences I've heard from a lot of straight people whenever they find out a woman is a lesbian or sapphic:

1. Lesbians are man-haters.

2. Domestic violence and divorce rates are high among sapphic women.

Where did such things even come up from? How does loving a woman make us man-haters?

Hey!

So, here's the thing— I started off as a Ganpati worshipper, then became a Rama Bhakt, and then a Krishna bhakt. For the first two, I am confused between it being a choice of my heart against me liking their idols.

For Krishna Bhagwana, I did want to worship him and that came from inside me.

But for the past few months I have been feeling a pull towards Kali Ma. I want to engage in her worship but I also know I am not capable of it.

Now I am stuck between worshipping Ganpati, Rama, and Krishna, while feeling a strong pull towards Ma Kali, which has left me feeling really confused and frustrated. And the pull towards Ma is far too strong because I'm queer and I feel like only she will accept me for who I am, no one else.

Please help me figure out why this is happening to me, and what is the right course of action that I should take!

Hey!

So, here's the thing— I started off as a Ganpati worshipper, then became a Rama Bhakt, and then a Krishna bhakt. For the first two, I am confused between it being a choice of my heart against me liking their idols.

For Krishna Bhagwana, I did want to worship him and that came from inside me.

But for the past few months I have been feeling a pull towards Kali Ma. I want to engage in her worship but I also know I am not capable of it.

Now I am stuck between worshipping Ganpati, Rama, and Krishna, while feeling a strong pull towards Ma Kali, which has left me feeling really confused and frustrated. And the pull towards Ma is far too strong because I'm queer and I feel like only she will accept me for who I am, no one else.

Please help me figure out why this is happening to me, and what is the right course of action that I should take!