Cologne 3 days
Hamburg 3 days
Berlin 3 days
Nuremberg 3 days
Munich 3 days
Frankfurt 2 days
Edit: My flight back to my home country is from Frankfurt so i cant skip that. My interests are WW2, museums, transportation and Christmas markets since i'm from a South Asian Country. My mode of transportation will be public transport not a car.
I (33F) matched with a 36M on a dating app 3-4 months ago. He said he had commitment issues and wanted something casual while I wanted a partner, so we agreed to be friends. Despite that, we got very close, talking daily and spending time together. He opened up about personal struggles but was emotionally inconsistent, often ignoring my feelings. After a family trip, his behavior changed—he reduced communication, avoided conversations, canceled plans, and asked for space without following up.
After a week, I reached out about losing my AirPods and we resumed talking normally, even working together briefly. A few days later, after a small conflict, he became distant again, then unsent messages and unfollowed me. I tried contacting him with no response, then wished him well, unfollowed him, and deleted his number. A day later, he sent a casual WhatsApp link, which I ignored, and it’s been over 20 days. I’m now planning to visit a country he really likes and knows a lot about. do you guys think it’s a good idea to reach out to him for recommendations, given we have that in common? Or will he think I’m desperate for his validation or attention? I know I can google things to do but I want hidden gems/people recommendations
TL;DR: Got close to a guy who said he didn’t want commitment, he became inconsistent and eventually ghosted/unfollowed me. Now I’m traveling to a place he knows well should I reach out for recommendations?
Thinking of buying it
Hi guys, I’m planing on moving out of my parents house in the same city. Does anyone have any tips on how they broke the news to their parents? Or tips in general?
I (33F) matched with a man (36M) on a dating app about 2 to 3 months ago. Early on, he told me he has commitment issues and is only looking for something casual, while I am looking for a partner, so we agreed to just be friends. Despite that, we got very close, talking every day, traveling home together often, and having long calls.
He opened up about losing a parent, family issues, and being a caregiver. At the same time, he mentioned insecurities about a partner’s past and said he tends to shut down emotionally, which I did notice, he would ignore my feelings but still send reels or keep things light. He also started calling me “bubs,” once called me “baby,” made efforts to spend time with me, and stayed in constant touch even during a family trip, where he even said he missed my “vegan face.”
After he came back from that trip, his behavior suddenly changed. He stopped sending reels, reduced communication, and began leaving conversations midway. When I brought it up, he avoided it, canceled plans last minute, and then asked for space without following up.
After about a week, I reached out to him because I lost my AirPods near his workplace and he was the first person I thought of. We started talking again normally, and he was even helping me with a freelance gig since I need the money as I am planning to move out of my family home. He would share his location with me, related to his own internal issues, and things felt normal again. A couple of days ago, I called him to see if he could meet, and he said he did not want to wait 20 minutes for me. I was already having a bad day, so I called him mean and hung up. I had also sent him a Snapchat about my bad day, but he did not ask what happened.
The next day, he went back to sending reels and sharing his location like normal. I did not engage much, just reacted to his location. Later that night, he unsent all his reels from the past 15 days and then unfollowed me a few hours later. I called and texted asking what happened, but he did not reply. The next morning, I sent him a message wishing him well, unfollowed him, and deleted his number. The day after that, he casually sent me a post link on WhatsApp, which I did not respond to.
I do not plan on speaking to him again, but I am trying to understand if this kind of behavior is normal, if he is a player, or if this is coming from emotional turmoil.
TLDR: Met a guy who said he wanted casual but became emotionally close anyway. He suddenly pulled away after a trip, came back briefly, then acted hot and cold, unfollowed me, ignored me, and then randomly sent a link again. Trying to understand if this is normal behavior or something deeper.
I (33F) matched with a man (36M) on a dating app about 2 to 3 months ago. Early on, he told me he has commitment issues and is only looking for something casual, while I am looking for a partner, so we agreed to just be friends. Despite that, we got very close, talking every day, traveling home together often, and having long calls.
He opened up about losing a parent, family issues, and being a caregiver. At the same time, he mentioned insecurities about a partner’s past and said he tends to shut down emotionally, which I did notice, he would ignore my feelings but still send reels or keep things light. He also started calling me “bubs,” once called me “baby,” made efforts to spend time with me, and stayed in constant touch even during a family trip, where he even said he missed my “vegan face.”
After he came back from that trip, his behavior suddenly changed. He stopped sending reels, reduced communication, and began leaving conversations midway. When I brought it up, he avoided it, canceled plans last minute, and then asked for space without following up.
After about a week, I reached out to him because I lost my AirPods near his workplace and he was the first person I thought of. We started talking again normally, and he was even helping me with a freelance gig since I need the money as I am planning to move out of my family home. He would share his location with me, related to his own internal issues, and things felt normal again. A couple of days ago, I called him to see if he could meet, and he said he did not want to wait 20 minutes for me. I was already having a bad day, so I called him mean and hung up. I had also sent him a Snapchat about my bad day, but he did not ask what happened.
The next day, he went back to sending reels and sharing his location like normal. I did not engage much, just reacted to his location. Later that night, he unsent all his reels from the past 15 days and then unfollowed me a few hours later. I called and texted asking what happened, but he did not reply. The next morning, I sent him a message wishing him well, unfollowed him, and deleted his number. The day after that, he casually sent me a post link on WhatsApp, which I did not respond to.
I do not plan on speaking to him again, but I am trying to understand if this kind of behavior is normal, if he is a player, or if this is coming from emotional turmoil.
TLDR: Met a guy who said he wanted casual but became emotionally close anyway. He suddenly pulled away after a trip, came back briefly, then acted hot and cold, unfollowed me, ignored me, and then randomly sent a link again. Trying to understand if this is normal behavior or something deeper.
I (33F) matched with a man (36M) on a dating app about 2 to 3 months ago. Early on, he told me he has commitment issues and is only looking for something casual, while I am looking for a partner, so we agreed to just be friends. Despite that, we got very close, talking every day, traveling home together often, and having long calls.
He opened up about losing a parent, family issues, and being a caregiver. At the same time, he mentioned insecurities about a partner’s past and said he tends to shut down emotionally, which I did notice, he would ignore my feelings but still send reels or keep things light. He also started calling me “bubs,” once called me “baby,” made efforts to spend time with me, and stayed in constant touch even during a family trip, where he even said he missed my “vegan face.”
After he came back from that trip, his behavior suddenly changed. He stopped sending reels, reduced communication, and began leaving conversations midway. When I brought it up, he avoided it, canceled plans last minute, and then asked for space without following up.
After about a week, I reached out to him because I lost my AirPods near his workplace and he was the first person I thought of. We started talking again normally, and he was even helping me with a freelance gig since I need the money as I am planning to move out of my family home. He would share his location with me, related to his own internal issues, and things felt normal again. A couple of days ago, I called him to see if he could meet, and he said he did not want to wait 20 minutes for me. I was already having a bad day, so I called him mean and hung up. I had also sent him a Snapchat about my bad day, but he did not ask what happened.
The next day, he went back to sending reels and sharing his location like normal. I did not engage much, just reacted to his location. Later that night, he unsent all his reels from the past 15 days and then unfollowed me a few hours later. I called and texted asking what happened, but he did not reply. The next morning, I sent him a message wishing him well, unfollowed him, and deleted his number. The day after that, he casually sent me a post link on WhatsApp, which I did not respond to.
I do not plan on speaking to him again, but I am trying to understand if this kind of behavior is normal, if he is a player, or if this is coming from emotional turmoil.
TLDR: Met a guy who said he wanted casual but became emotionally close anyway. He suddenly pulled away after a trip, came back briefly, then acted hot and cold, unfollowed me, ignored me, and then randomly sent a link again. Trying to understand if this is normal behavior or something deeper.
I (33F) matched with a man (36M) on a dating app about 2 to 3 months ago. Early on, he told me he has commitment issues and is only looking for something casual, while I am looking for a partner, so we agreed to just be friends. Despite that, we got very close, talking every day, traveling home together often, and having long calls.
He opened up about losing a parent, family issues, and being a caregiver. At the same time, he mentioned insecurities about a partner’s past and said he tends to shut down emotionally, which I did notice, he would ignore my feelings but still send reels or keep things light. He also started calling me “bubs,” once called me “baby,” made efforts to spend time with me, and stayed in constant touch even during a family trip, where he even said he missed my “vegan face.”
After he came back from that trip, his behavior suddenly changed. He stopped sending reels, reduced communication, and began leaving conversations midway. When I brought it up, he avoided it, canceled plans last minute, and then asked for space without following up.
After about a week, I reached out to him because I lost my AirPods near his workplace and he was the first person I thought of. We started talking again normally, and he was even helping me with a freelance gig since I need the money as I am planning to move out of my family home. He would share his location with me, related to his own internal issues, and things felt normal again. A couple of days ago, I called him to see if he could meet, and he said he did not want to wait 20 minutes for me. I was already having a bad day, so I called him mean and hung up. I had also sent him a Snapchat about my bad day, but he did not ask what happened.
The next day, he went back to sending reels and sharing his location like normal. I did not engage much, just reacted to his location. Later that night, he unsent all his reels from the past 15 days and then unfollowed me a few hours later. I called and texted asking what happened, but he did not reply. The next morning, I sent him a message wishing him well, unfollowed him, and deleted his number. The day after that, he casually sent me a post link on WhatsApp, which I did not respond to.
I do not plan on speaking to him again, but I am trying to understand if this kind of behavior is normal, if he is a player, or if this is coming from emotional turmoil.
TLDR: Met a guy who said he wanted casual but became emotionally close anyway. He suddenly pulled away after a trip, came back briefly, then acted hot and cold, unfollowed me, ignored me, and then randomly sent a link again. Trying to understand if this is normal behavior or something deeper.
(33F) matched with a man (36M) on a dating app about 2 to 3 months ago. Early on, he told me he has commitment issues and is only looking for something casual, while I am looking for a partner, so we agreed to just be friends. Despite that, we got very close, talking every day, traveling home together often, and having long calls.
He opened up about losing a parent, family issues, and being a caregiver. At the same time, he mentioned insecurities about a partner’s past and said he tends to shut down emotionally, which I did notice, he would ignore my feelings but still send reels or keep things light. He also started calling me “bubs,” once called me “baby,” made efforts to spend time with me, and stayed in constant touch even during a family trip, where he even said he missed my “vegan face.”
After he came back from that trip, his behavior suddenly changed. He stopped sending reels, reduced communication, and began leaving conversations midway. When I brought it up, he avoided it, canceled plans last minute, and then asked for space without following up.
After about a week, I reached out to him because I lost my AirPods near his workplace and he was the first person I thought of. We started talking again normally, and he was even helping me with a freelance gig since I need the money as I am planning to move out of my family home. He would share his location with me, related to his own internal issues, and things felt normal again. A couple of days ago, I called him to see if he could meet, and he said he did not want to wait 20 minutes for me. I was already having a bad day, so I called him mean and hung up. I had also sent him a Snapchat about my bad day, but he did not ask what happened.
The next day, he went back to sending reels and sharing his location like normal. I did not engage much, just reacted to his location. Later that night, he unsent all his reels from the past 15 days and then unfollowed me a few hours later. I called and texted asking what happened, but he did not reply. The next morning, I sent him a message wishing him well, unfollowed him, and deleted his number. The day after that, he casually sent me a post link on WhatsApp, which I did not respond to.
I do not plan on speaking to him again, but I am trying to understand if this kind of behavior is normal, if he is a player, or if this is coming from emotional turmoil.
Also, I wanted to understand if the way I reacted erratic or normal? (I’m trying to understand myself better as well so I can work on my behaviour with my therapist)
TLDR: Met a guy who said he wanted casual but became emotionally close anyway. He suddenly pulled away after a trip, came back briefly, then acted hot and cold, unfollowed me, ignored me, and then randomly sent a link again. Trying to understand if this is normal behavior or something deeper.
I (33F) matched with a man (36M) on a dating app about 2 to 3 months ago. Early on, he told me he has commitment issues and is only looking for something casual, while I am looking for a partner, so we agreed to just be friends. Despite that, we got very close, talking every day, traveling home together often, and having long calls.
He opened up about losing a parent, family issues, and being a caregiver. At the same time, he mentioned insecurities about a partner’s past and said he tends to shut down emotionally, which I did notice, he would ignore my feelings but still send reels or keep things light. He also started calling me “bubs,” once called me “baby,” made efforts to spend time with me, and stayed in constant touch even during a family trip, where he even said he missed my “vegan face.”
After he came back from that trip, his behavior suddenly changed. He stopped sending reels, reduced communication, and began leaving conversations midway. When I brought it up, he avoided it, canceled plans last minute, and then asked for space without following up.
After about a week, I reached out to him because I lost my AirPods near his workplace and he was the first person I thought of. We started talking again normally, and he was even helping me with a freelance gig since I need the money as I am planning to move out of my family home. He would share his location with me, related to his own internal issues, and things felt normal again. A couple of days ago, I called him to see if he could meet, and he said he did not want to wait 20 minutes for me. I was already having a bad day, so I called him mean and hung up. I had also sent him a Snapchat about my bad day, but he did not ask what happened.
The next day, he went back to sending reels and sharing his location like normal. I did not engage much, just reacted to his location. Later that night, he unsent all his reels from the past 15 days and then unfollowed me a few hours later. I called and texted asking what happened, but he did not reply. The next morning, I sent him a message wishing him well, unfollowed him, and deleted his number. The day after that, he casually sent me a post link on WhatsApp, which I did not respond to.
I do not plan on speaking to him again, but I am trying to understand if this kind of behavior is normal, if he is a player, or if this is coming from emotional turmoil.
TLDR: Met a guy who said he wanted casual but became emotionally close anyway. He suddenly pulled away after a trip, came back briefly, then acted hot and cold, unfollowed me, ignored me, and then randomly sent a link again. Trying to understand if this is normal behavior or something deeper.
(33F) matched with a man (36M) on a dating app about 2 to 3 months ago. Early on, he told me he has commitment issues and is only looking for something casual, while I am looking for a partner, so we agreed to just be friends. Despite that, we got very close, talking every day, traveling home together often, and having long calls.
He opened up about losing a parent, family issues, and being a caregiver. At the same time, he mentioned insecurities about a partner’s past and said he tends to shut down emotionally, which I did notice, he would ignore my feelings but still send reels or keep things light. He also started calling me “bubs,” once called me “baby,” made efforts to spend time with me, and stayed in constant touch even during a family trip, where he even said he missed my “vegan face.”
After he came back from that trip, his behavior suddenly changed. He stopped sending reels, reduced communication, and began leaving conversations midway. When I brought it up, he avoided it, canceled plans last minute, and then asked for space without following up.
After about a week, I reached out to him because I lost my AirPods near his workplace and he was the first person I thought of. We started talking again normally, and he was even helping me with a freelance gig since I need the money as I am planning to move out of my family home. He would share his location with me, related to his own internal issues, and things felt normal again. A couple of days ago, I called him to see if he could meet, and he said he did not want to wait 20 minutes for me. I was already having a bad day, so I called him mean and hung up. I had also sent him a Snapchat about my bad day, but he did not ask what happened.
The next day, he went back to sending reels and sharing his location like normal. I did not engage much, just reacted to his location. Later that night, he unsent all his reels from the past 15 days and then unfollowed me a few hours later. I called and texted asking what happened, but he did not reply. The next morning, I sent him a message wishing him well, unfollowed him, and deleted his number. The day after that, he casually sent me a post link on WhatsApp, which I did not respond to.
I do not plan on speaking to him again, but I am trying to understand if this kind of behavior is normal, if he is a player, or if this is coming from emotional turmoil.
TLDR: Met a guy who said he wanted casual but became emotionally close anyway. He suddenly pulled away after a trip, came back briefly, then acted hot and cold, unfollowed me, ignored me, and then randomly sent a link again. Trying to understand if this is normal behavior or something deeper.
Link the my old post: https://www.reddit.com/r/emotionalintelligence/s/ht67yjinzb
So he unfollowed me and unsent all the reels he sent me (dates back to 15days). I don’t understand what I did wrong.
I texted and called him when he didn’t but he didn’t respond. Should I send him a text saying I wish he told me he didn’t want to talk to me or call him again? Or should I let it go. He is very non confrontational
What would men like? Just curious
I (32F) matched with a man (35M) on a dating app about 2–3 months ago. I swiped on him because his profile said he was looking for a partner. When we started talking, we quickly realised we had a lot of common interests and hit it off really well.
Early on in our conversations, he told me he has commitment issues and is only looking for something casual. I told him that’s not what I’m looking for, so we agreed to just be friends since we genuinely enjoyed each other’s company.
As our friendship grew, he started opening up emotionally. He told me he had lost a parent at the start of the year, was dealing with family property issues, and spoke about his relationship with his living parent. He also shared that he had been a caregiver for his parent and an elderly relative who lived with his family.
At one point, he mentioned that he struggles with accepting a partner who has had a past with another man and would prefer his partner to maintain distance from other men. He did say he’s trying to work on these insecurities. This stood out to me because I have male friends and get along with them well.
He also told me that he tends to shut down, and I started noticing that whenever I expressed my feelings, he would disappear and not reply. At the same time, he would spam me with reels throughout the day. I used to jokingly call him my older brother.
Since we work close by, he would often take a detour, even though he had a direct train option, just to travel back home with me every other day, and we live about 25 minutes away. He would also call me every other night, and we would talk for at least an hour. Somewhere along the way, he randomly started calling me “bubs,” and once, when he was tipsy with friends, he messaged me calling me “baby” and mentioned he was out with his girl friends from work and that he didn’t like them.
Recently, he went on a half-month holiday with his family, but he stayed in touch the entire time, sending pictures, videos, and calling whenever he could.
But after he came back last week, something shifted. He stopped sending reels, his texts and calls reduced significantly, and he would start conversations but stop replying midway.
I don’t know if this is relevant, but once I had gone with a work friend to buy something, and while crossing the road, since traffic in my country is chaotic and I’m bad at crossing, he held my hand. I told him about this.
When he returned from his trip, I met him and gave him a couple of things that reminded me of him, because gift giving is my love language and I do this for all my friends. We travelled back home together, but something about his behaviour felt off. I even texted him about it, but he ignored that and changed the topic.
We had plans the next day to pick up a present for my sister from a place he knew had it cheaper. At the last minute, he told me to go by myself, which upset me. When I reacted, instead of apologising, he started rage baiting me and then ignored me.
The next day, he casually forwarded me something. I replied asking about my previous message, and that’s when he said he wanted space. I told him how he had been acting and that I wanted to be there for him. He said he couldn’t respond properly at that moment and would reply at night, but I haven’t heard from him since. He also stopped sending reels and viewing my stories.
I keep wondering if I did something wrong. My therapist thinks he might be avoidant, but I would really like an outside perspective. If it matters, we also come from different religious backgrounds.
He has mentioned before that he and his ex broke up because she moved to a different country, and he often says he knows what kind of girl he wants, someone who stabilises him. At one point, he told me I’m chaotic. But a couple of weeks later, he said he actually likes that about me, like a yin and yang dynamic. He also told me that because of me, he started doing things he never used to, like going out to malls or long walks, since he’s an introvert and doesn’t have many friends.
There was also a time I was out for drinks with a friend near his house. He was out with his friend too, but still came to meet me just to give me a hug before going back. When he was traveling, he even said he missed my “vegan face” after I sent him a Snapchat.
The last time I met him, I mentioned a girl who earns a very fancy stipend during her internship, and I think her name might be the same as his ex’s. He never confirmed anything. I just have a hunch based on some online research, and I noticed he follows her but she doesn’t follow him.
Today, I noticed he liked a reel about a guy falling in love with a girl he couldn’t have because she was a tourist from another country, and now he knows what kind of girl he wants. It made me wonder if he compares every girl he meets to his ex. He had also previously liked a reel about how there’s always one girl a man falls in love with and never forgets, and then never truly falls in love again.
So now I’m left wondering if I was just a rebound or a placeholder friend. I feel extremely stupid right now, and I’m honestly contemplating whether I should delete his number and remove him from Instagram.
TL;DR: I (33F) became close friends with a man (36M) who said he only wanted something casual. We built a deep emotional connection with frequent calls, time together, and mixed signals, but after a recent trip, his behaviour suddenly changed. He became distant, asked for space, and stopped communicating. Given his unresolved feelings about his ex and confusing actions, I’m questioning whether I did something wrong or if I was just a placeholder friend.
I (33F) matched with a man (36M) on a dating app about 2–3 months ago. I swiped on him because his profile said he was looking for a partner. When we started talking, we quickly realised we had a lot of common interests and hit it off really well.
Early on in our conversations, he told me he has commitment issues and is only looking for something casual. I told him that’s not what I’m looking for, so we agreed to just be friends since we genuinely enjoyed each other’s company.
As our friendship grew, he started opening up emotionally. He told me he had lost a parent at the start of the year, was dealing with family property issues, and spoke about his relationship with his living parent. He also shared that he had been a caregiver for his parent and an elderly relative who lived with his family.
At one point, he mentioned that he struggles with accepting a partner who has had a past with another man and would prefer his partner to maintain distance from other men. He did say he’s trying to work on these insecurities. This stood out to me because I have male friends and get along with them well.
He also told me that he tends to shut down, and I started noticing that whenever I expressed my feelings, he would disappear and not reply. At the same time, he would spam me with reels throughout the day. I used to jokingly call him my older brother.
Since we work close by, he would often take a detour, even though he had a direct train option, just to travel back home with me every other day, and we live about 25 minutes away. He would also call me every other night, and we would talk for at least an hour. Somewhere along the way, he randomly started calling me “bubs,” and once, when he was tipsy with friends, he messaged me calling me “baby” and mentioned he was out with his girl friends from work and that he didn’t like them.
Recently, he went on a half-month holiday with his family, but he stayed in touch the entire time, sending pictures, videos, and calling whenever he could.
But after he came back last week, something shifted. He stopped sending reels, his texts and calls reduced significantly, and he would start conversations but stop replying midway.
I don’t know if this is relevant, but once I had gone with a work friend to buy something, and while crossing the road, since traffic in my country is chaotic and I’m bad at crossing, he held my hand. I told him about this.
When he returned from his trip, I met him and gave him a couple of things that reminded me of him, because gift giving is my love language and I do this for all my friends. We travelled back home together, but something about his behaviour felt off. I even texted him about it, but he ignored that and changed the topic.
We had plans the next day to pick up a present for my sister from a place he knew had it cheaper. At the last minute, he told me to go by myself, which upset me. When I reacted, instead of apologising, he started rage baiting me and then ignored me.
The next day, he casually forwarded me something. I replied asking about my previous message, and that’s when he said he wanted space. I told him how he had been acting and that I wanted to be there for him. He said he couldn’t respond properly at that moment and would reply at night, but I haven’t heard from him since. He also stopped sending reels and viewing my stories.
I keep wondering if I did something wrong. My therapist thinks he might be avoidant, but I would really like an outside perspective. If it matters, we also come from different religious backgrounds.
He has mentioned before that he and his ex broke up because she moved to a different country, and he often says he knows what kind of girl he wants, someone who stabilises him. At one point, he told me I’m chaotic. But a couple of weeks later, he said he actually likes that about me, like a yin and yang dynamic. He also told me that because of me, he started doing things he never used to, like going out to malls or long walks, since he’s an introvert and doesn’t have many friends.
There was also a time I was out for drinks with a friend near his house. He was out with his friend too, but still came to meet me just to give me a hug before going back. When he was traveling, he even said he missed my “vegan face” after I sent him a Snapchat.
The last time I met him, I mentioned a girl who earns a very fancy stipend during her internship, and I think her name might be the same as his ex’s. He never confirmed anything. I just have a hunch based on some online research, and I noticed he follows her but she doesn’t follow him.
Today, I noticed he liked a reel about a guy falling in love with a girl he couldn’t have because she was a tourist from another country, and now he knows what kind of girl he wants. It made me wonder if he compares every girl he meets to his ex. He had also previously liked a reel about how there’s always one girl a man falls in love with and never forgets, and then never truly falls in love again.
So now I’m left wondering if I was just a rebound or a placeholder. I feel extremely stupid right now, and I’m honestly contemplating whether I should delete his number and remove him from Instagram.
TL;DR: I (33F) became close friends with a man (36M) who said he only wanted something casual. We built a deep emotional connection with frequent calls, time together, and mixed signals, but after a recent trip, his behaviour suddenly changed. He became distant, asked for space, and stopped communicating. Given his unresolved feelings about his ex and confusing actions, I’m questioning whether I did something wrong or if I was just a placeholder.