u/despacitopasta

i was skinny/underweight pretty much my whole life. even after puberty i was still really lean and had a flat stomach no matter what i ate.

i was around 54kg at 5’7” and looked pretty lean. then after 12th, during vacation, my weight just started going up really fast. i gained around 18–20kg in less than a year and i’m now around 72–74kg.

now i have belly fat, stretch marks everywhere and even my boobs have become noticeable bigger which is bothersome to me now. ironically i spent my entire teenage years wishing i had boobs, and now that i finally have them, they’re one of the things annoying me the most lmao.

i honestly feel like i don’t even know my body anymore. i’ve never had to lose weight before so i have no idea where to start.

i want to work out but my mom won’t let me go to the gym even though there’s literally one in our building.

has anyone else gone from being naturally skinny to gaining a lot of weight really quickly? what actually worked for you? especially if you had to do it without a gym.

i was skinny/underweight pretty much my whole life. even after puberty i was still really lean and had a flat stomach no matter what i ate.

i was around 54kg at 5’7” and looked pretty lean. then after 12th, during vacation, my weight just started going up really fast. i gained around 18–20kg in less than a year and i’m now around 72–74kg.

now i have belly fat, stretch marks everywhere and even my boobs have become noticeable bigger which is bothersome to me now. ironically i spent my entire teenage years wishing i had boobs, and now that i finally have them, they’re one of the things annoying me the most lmao.

i honestly feel like i don’t even know my body anymore. i’ve never had to lose weight before so i have no idea where to start.

i want to work out but my mom won’t let me go to the gym even though there’s literally one in our building.

has anyone else gone from being naturally skinny to gaining a lot of weight really quickly? what actually worked for you? especially if you had to do it without a gym.

i noticed that the condom keeps sliding off during sex and we have to time and again fix it , i brought this up to my partner today saying that the condom isnt fitting snug and maybe he should recheck the size once. he said the size isn’t an issue. but it is i who it is because of because i put too much lube. in my defence, the whole process of penetration is very painful for me for which i sometimes mightve gone overboard with it.

for context:
18f and 19m bf had sex twice this month, both times protected, both times times checked for holes and tears there were none. one was on 8th of july, which was day 5 of my cycle
my cycle is very irregular, but mostly around 35 days.
the next time was on 20th july. this time too i checked the condom it didn’t fail but however i saw fluid at the rim of the condom, which i suspect was lube but i for some reason also think it couldve been his pre cum.
i’ve been having super sore boobs which is usual pms symptom for me and cramping i also have strange back ache every now and then since the past 10 days almost.
additionally,
i had two periods in a span of one month last time,
15th june and 3rd july.
i also had UTI on 10 or 11th july, i was on antibiotics and other meds for my fever for one week almost.
i want to take a PT but im shitting myself because im scared it might be positive
also, he didn’t ejaculate on either pf those two days

for context:
18f and 19m bf had sex twice this month, both times protected, both times times checked for holes and tears there were none. one was on 8th of july, which was day 5 of my cycle
my cycle is very irregular, but mostly around 35 days.
the next time was on 20th july. this time too i checked the condom it didn’t fail but however i saw fluid at the rim of the condom, which i suspect was lube but i for some reason also think it couldve been his pre cum.
i’ve been having super sore boobs which is usual pms symptom for me and cramping i also have strange back ache every now and then since the past 10 days almost.
additionally,
i had two periods in a span of one month last time,
15th june and 3rd july.
i also had UTI on 10 or 11th july, i was on antibiotics and other meds for my fever for one week almost.
i want to take a PT but im shitting myself because im scared it might be positive
also, he didn’t ejaculate on either pf those two days

18f and 19m bf had sex twice this month, both times protected, both times times checked for holes and tears there were none. one was on 8th of july, which was day 5 of my cycle
my cycle is very irregular, but mostly around 35 days.
the next time was on 20th july. this time too i checked the condom it didn’t fail but however i saw fluid at the rim of the condom, which i suspect was lube but i for some reason also think it couldve been his pre cum.
i’ve been having super sore boobs which is usual pms symptom for me and cramping i also have strange back ache every now and then since the past 10 days almost.
additionally,
i had two periods in a span of one month last time,
15th june and 3rd july.
i also had UTI on 10 or 11th july, i was on antibiotics and other meds for my fever for one week almost.
i want to take a PT but im shitting myself because im scared it might be positive
also, he didn’t ejaculate on either pf those two days

18f and 19m bf had sex twice this month, both times protected, both times times checked for holes and tears there were none. one was on 8th of july, which was day 5 of my cycle
my cycle is very irregular, but mostly around 35 days.
the next time was on 20th july. this time too i checked the condom it didn’t fail but however i saw fluid at the rim of the condom, which i suspect was lube but i for some reason also think it couldve been his pre cum.
i’ve been having super sore boobs which is usual pms symptom for me and cramping i also have strange back ache every now and then since the past 10 days almost.
additionally,
i had two periods in a span of one month last time,
15th june and 3rd july.
i also had UTI on 10 or 11th july, i was on antibiotics and other meds for my fever for one week almost.
i want to take a PT but im shitting myself because im scared it might be positive
also, he didn’t ejaculate on either pf those two days

i had two periods last month so my menstrual cycle is not very clear to me too but usually my cycle is of 32-35days. but due to some medication and stuff my last two cycles were of around 18-20days.
i had sex on 20th of july, and my last period was on 3rd july. it was protected, we used condoms and flo said i couldve been ovulating between 9th-20th july. there was no tearing of condom but i could see that there was lot of fluid outside the condom, and below the rim of the condom there was fluid, now i’m paranoid if it was my own fluid along with lube or precum. he had however not ejaculated, and i checked the condom with water there werent any holes too
my period was supposed to come by now as it shown in the app but i still havent gotten one .
i’m so scared please tell me how likely could it be that im pregnant
edit: forgot to add that i am having pelvis and back pain, if it is related to it, my breasts are sore which is also a pms symptom for me😭
i also have acne this month, which is pretty unusual since my skin has been pretty much clear in almost an year.
im sorry if im being annoying im really petrified rn

i had protected intercourse on july 20th, (during my fertile window, day17 of my cycle) it was he didn’t ejaculate that day but i suspect that there was precum near the rim of the condom. it couldve been the lube as well idontknow forsure 😭
i’m spiralling because my period was due today according to the app but however i have no signs of getting my period i am having sore breasts which is one of my pms symptoms , and lower abdominal pain alongside backache which started from the day of intercourse.
for context my cycle is usually of 32-35days but last month ie in june i had two periods with a cycle of 18-20days

i apparently had two periods last month so my menstrual cycle is not very clear to me too but usually my cycle is of 32-35days. but due to some medication and stuff my last two cycles were of around 18-20days.
i had sex on 20th of july, and my last period was on 3rd july. it was protected, we used condoms and flo said i couldve been ovulating between 9th-20th july. there was no tearing of condom but i could see that there was lot of fluid outside the condom, and below the rim of the condom there was fluid, now i’m paranoid if it was my own fluid along with lube or precum. he had however not ejaculated, and i checked the condom with water there werent any holes too
my period was supposed to come by now as it shown in the app but i still havent gotten one .
i’m so scared please tell me how likely could it be that im pregnant
edit: forgot to add that i keep having pelvis and back pain, if it related to it, and when i suck my stomach in my pelvis hurts very bad on one side
and i feel feverish also alongside my breasts are sore which is also a pms symptom for me😭 im sorry if im being annoying im really petrified rn

my chest physically hurts while i write this, i 18F have gone crazy in the last two days as the guy 19M who i’ve been dating for the last 3 years suddenly ghosted me.
i want to cry and just lay on my bed and do nothing. i dont think this pain will subside anytime soon.
the person i love the most decided that i’m not worth putting his ego aside. my worth is lesser than his pride. i was upset with him, that he was texting one of our friends back and forth while he ignored me for an entire day.
for context this friend in question and my bf or my ex idk what he is , had a fight and my bf had texted her 9 paragraphs giving her explanation of his part, she ignored his text for 1full day, i told him to not see her message immediately because yk it is not a good look to reply to someone who ignored you in minutes.
he didn’t listen to me, and is still texting her.
the person who he isn’t texting is ME.
i’m tired now , i’m tired of always chasing i don’t think i want this anymore. i wish this is the end of this or me . he still hasnt replied to me in two days, left me on read. i feel so pathetic should i text him again?

this is gonna be long so thank you if you actually read it.

my boyfriend and i are both 19. we’ve known each other for almost 5 years and have been together for almost 3. we’re indian, from completely different religions, and both our families are pretty conservative, so getting into this relationship wasn’t something i took lightly.

the first few years of knowing him were honestly amazing. he was the sweetest person i’d ever met. he’d do things for me without me even asking, remembered tiny details, always made me feel important. i genuinely felt like i got lucky.

i don’t know when things changed, but they did.

the last couple of years have been so different.
he gets angry so easily now. arguments always end the same way. he refuses to text first no matter what happened or whose fault it was. if we fight, he disappears.

i have pretty bad anxiety, so when he’d ignore me for days i’d completely panic. i’d call him and text him because i just wanted us to sort things out. he’d block me because i was “being annoying.”
i know that probably sounds pathetic.

i stayed because i kept thinking maybe he’d go back to being the person i fell in love with.
right now we’re in another argument because i got upset that he wasn’t replying to me. it’s been almost a day and he still hasn’t texted me.
what hurt was seeing him instantly reply to one of our mutual friends because they were trying to sort out their own fight.

the same friend had left him on delivered for 22 hours, and he complained to me about it for days because he was so annoyed.

i don’t know why it stings so much that he can make an effort for someone else but not for me.
there’s so much else too.

he constantly sends me news about terrorist attacks and says people from my religion are “anti nationals.” i’ve told him it makes me uncomfortable, and he just says, “if you’re not like them then why are you offended?”

he once basically broke up with me because i said i didn’t like our prime minister. we didn’t speak for three days. on the fourth day i was the one crying, apologising and calling him because i couldn’t deal with the silence anymore.

he’s even accused me of supporting the pahalgam attack because of my religion.

he’s convinced i’ll cheat on him even though i’ve never given him a reason to think that.

he still brings up the fact that i had two school crushes before we even got together. he told me i have horrible taste in men, that i only like “cheap guys,” and that unlike me, he managed to “bag a good looking girl.” \\\[honestly those two guys are nothing like what he described, being completely frank.\\\]

he compared me to another girl just because he thought she was prettier.

at the same time, he hangs out one-on-one with his female best friends, but apparently i shouldn’t even have male acquaintances.

he laughs at misogynistic jokes even after i’ve told him they make me uncomfortable.

he tries to control random decisions in my life too. we literally argued because i wanted to open a bank account that actually had benefits i wanted instead of the one he wanted me to choose.

he calls me dumb pretty casually now. meanwhile he genuinely thinks he’s the smartest person in every room. after hearing it enough, it doesn’t come across as confidence anymore, simply as cockiness.

we’re kind of long distance now. we only see each other once a month, sometimes even less.
he never asks me out anymore.

the only time he seems excited to text me is when he wants sex.
when we’re apart, he asks me to send him pictures because he’s “in the mood.” i make excuses almost every time because i don’t even feel attractive anymore. i just feel… convenient.

i’ve realised i don’t even miss talking to him anymore.

i miss who he used to be.

and i think that’s the hardest part.

i’ve spent so long hoping i’d get the old him back that i ignored the person standing in front of me now.

i think i’m finally accepting that i’m not losing the relationship.

i lost it a long time ago, i just didn’t want to admit it.

this is gonna be long so thank you if you actually read it.

my boyfriend and i are both 19. we’ve known each other for almost 5 years and have been together for almost 3. we’re indian, from completely different religions, and both our families are pretty conservative, so getting into this relationship wasn’t something i took lightly.

the first few years of knowing him were honestly amazing. he was the sweetest person i’d ever met. he’d do things for me without me even asking, remembered tiny details, always made me feel important. i genuinely felt like i got lucky.

i don’t know when things changed, but they did.

the last couple of years have been so different.
he gets angry so easily now. arguments always end the same way. he refuses to text first no matter what happened or whose fault it was. if we fight, he disappears.

i have pretty bad anxiety, so when he’d ignore me for days i’d completely panic. i’d call him and text him because i just wanted us to sort things out. he’d block me because i was “being annoying.”
i know that probably sounds pathetic.

i stayed because i kept thinking maybe he’d go back to being the person i fell in love with.
right now we’re in another argument because i got upset that he wasn’t replying to me. it’s been almost a day and he still hasn’t texted me.
what hurt was seeing him instantly reply to one of our mutual friends because they were trying to sort out their own fight.

the same friend had left him on delivered for 22 hours, and he complained to me about it for days because he was so annoyed.

i don’t know why it stings so much that he can make an effort for someone else but not for me.
there’s so much else too.

he constantly sends me news about terrorist attacks and says people from my religion are “anti nationals.” i’ve told him it makes me uncomfortable, and he just says, “if you’re not like them then why are you offended?”

he once basically broke up with me because i said i didn’t like our prime minister. we didn’t speak for three days. on the fourth day i was the one crying, apologising and calling him because i couldn’t deal with the silence anymore.

he’s even accused me of supporting the pahalgam attack because of my religion.

he’s convinced i’ll cheat on him even though i’ve never given him a reason to think that.

he still brings up the fact that i had two school crushes before we even got together. he told me i have horrible taste in men, that i only like “cheap guys,” and that unlike me, he managed to “bag a good looking girl.” \[honestly those two guys are nothing like what he described, being completely frank.\]

he compared me to another girl just because he thought she was prettier.

at the same time, he hangs out one-on-one with his female best friends, but apparently i shouldn’t even have male acquaintances.

he laughs at misogynistic jokes even after i’ve told him they make me uncomfortable.

he tries to control random decisions in my life too. we literally argued because i wanted to open a bank account that actually had benefits i wanted instead of the one he wanted me to choose.

he calls me dumb pretty casually now. meanwhile he genuinely thinks he’s the smartest person in every room. after hearing it enough, it doesn’t come across as confidence anymore, simply as cockiness.

we’re kind of long distance now. we only see each other once a month, sometimes even less.
he never asks me out anymore.

the only time he seems excited to text me is when he wants sex.
when we’re apart, he asks me to send him pictures because he’s “in the mood.” i make excuses almost every time because i don’t even feel attractive anymore. i just feel… convenient.

i’ve realised i don’t even miss talking to him anymore.

i miss who he used to be.

and i think that’s the hardest part.

i’ve spent so long hoping i’d get the old him back that i ignored the person standing in front of me now.

i think i’m finally accepting that i’m not losing the relationship.

i lost it a long time ago, i just didn’t want to admit it.

i don’t even know why i’m posting this. i think i just need to get this off my chest because i don’t really know how to process any of it anymore.

my boyfriend and i are both 19. we’ve known each other for almost 5 years and have been together for almost 3. we’re both indian, from completely different religions, and both our families are pretty conservative, so getting into this relationship wasn’t something i took lightly. i genuinely thought he was the person i’d fight for.
when i first met him, he was honestly the sweetest person i’d ever known. he’d do things for me without me even asking. he’d remember the smallest things i’d tell him, he’d always make me feel loved, and i never had to question whether he cared about me. i genuinely thought i got lucky.

but somewhere along the way, that person disappeared.

the last couple of years have been completely different.

he gets angry really easily now. if we argue, he refuses to text or call first no matter whose fault it is. he’ll just disappear. i have really bad anxiety, so every single time that happened i’d completely spiral. i’d call him, text him, just wanting us to sort things out because the silence genuinely made me panic. he’d block me because my calls were “annoying.”

looking back, i hate how much i begged someone just to talk to me.

we’re in another argument right now because i got upset that he wasn’t replying to me. it’s been almost a day now.

what hurt wasn’t even just him ignoring me. during this time, he instantly replied to one of our mutual friends because they were trying to sort out a fight they’d had. the same friend had left him on delivered for 22 hours, and i remember him complaining to me for days about how annoyed and hurt he was because of it.
i just remember thinking… so you know exactly how this feels.

you just don’t mind making me feel that way.
there are so many other things i’ve brushed aside over the years because i kept convincing myself he’d eventually go back to being the person i fell in love with.

he constantly makes comments about people from my religion and calls them “anti nationals.” whenever i tell him it makes me uncomfortable, he says, “if you’re not like them then why are you offended?”

he once stopped talking to me for three days because i said i didn’t like our prime minister. i ended up apologising because i couldn’t deal with him ignoring me anymore.

he’s even accused me of supporting the pahalgam attack simply because of my religion.
he’s convinced i’ll cheat on him even though i’ve never given him a reason to think that.

he still gets upset over the fact that i had two harmless school crushes before we even got together. one time he told me i have horrible taste in men and only like “cheap guys,” while saying he managed to “bag a good-looking girl.” the girl he was talking about was someone who used to be my best friend. then he started comparing me to her because he thought she was prettier. i don’t even care whether he thought she was prettier or not. what hurt was that the person who’s supposed to love me thought comparing me to another girl, especially someone i was once so close to, was an okay thing to do.
at the same time, he hangs out one-on-one with his female best friends, but according to him i shouldn’t even have male acquaintances.
he openly laughs at misogynistic jokes even after i’ve told him multiple times that they make me uncomfortable.

he calls me dumb pretty often now. he always talks about himself like he’s the smartest, nicest person in every room, and if i disagree with him somehow i’m the immature one.
we’ve even argued over things as stupid as me wanting to open a bank account that actually suited me instead of the one he wanted me to choose. it sounds ridiculous typing it out, but that’s genuinely what some of our arguments have become.

we’re basically long distance now. we only see each other once a month, sometimes even less.
he doesn’t ask me out anymore.
honestly, most of the time the only time he seems excited to text me is when he wants sex. when we’re apart he’ll ask me to send him pictures because he’s “in the mood.” i’ve stopped doing it because i just… don’t want to anymore. i don’t feel wanted. i don’t feel loved. i just feel convenient.

the saddest part is that despite all of this, i still kept hoping he’d change.
i kept telling myself maybe this was just a phase. maybe we’d somehow go back to how we used to be.

but i don’t think that’s ever going to happen.
i think i’ve spent the last couple of years holding on to memories instead of the person he is today.
i haven’t broken up with him yet, but i think i’m finally accepting that i need to.
i always thought the breakup would be the hardest part.

turns out, the hardest part is accepting that i already lost the person i fell in love with a long time ago.

this is gonna be long so thank you if you actually read it.

my boyfriend and i are both 19. we’ve known each other for almost 5 years and have been together for almost 3. we’re indian, from completely different religions, and both our families are pretty conservative, so getting into this relationship wasn’t something i took lightly.

the first few years of knowing him were honestly amazing. he was the sweetest person i’d ever met. he’d do things for me without me even asking, remembered tiny details, always made me feel important. i genuinely felt like i got lucky.

i don’t know when things changed, but they did.

the last couple of years have been so different.
he gets angry so easily now. arguments always end the same way. he refuses to text first no matter what happened or whose fault it was. if we fight, he disappears.

i have pretty bad anxiety, so when he’d ignore me for days i’d completely panic. i’d call him and text him because i just wanted us to sort things out. he’d block me because i was “being annoying.”
i know that probably sounds pathetic.

i stayed because i kept thinking maybe he’d go back to being the person i fell in love with.
right now we’re in another argument because i got upset that he wasn’t replying to me. it’s been almost a day and he still hasn’t texted me.
what hurt was seeing him instantly reply to one of our mutual friends because they were trying to sort out their own fight.

the same friend had left him on delivered for 22 hours, and he complained to me about it for days because he was so annoyed.

i don’t know why it stings so much that he can make an effort for someone else but not for me.
there’s so much else too.

he constantly sends me news about terrorist attacks and says people from my religion are “anti nationals.” i’ve told him it makes me uncomfortable, and he just says, “if you’re not like them then why are you offended?”

he once basically broke up with me because i said i didn’t like our prime minister. we didn’t speak for three days. on the fourth day i was the one crying, apologising and calling him because i couldn’t deal with the silence anymore.

he’s even accused me of supporting the pahalgam attack because of my religion.

he’s convinced i’ll cheat on him even though i’ve never given him a reason to think that.

he still brings up the fact that i had two school crushes before we even got together. he told me i have horrible taste in men, that i only like “cheap guys,” and that unlike me, he managed to “bag a good looking girl.” [honestly those two guys are nothing like what he described, being completely frank.]

he compared me to another girl just because he thought she was prettier.

at the same time, he hangs out one-on-one with his female best friends, but apparently i shouldn’t even have male acquaintances.

he laughs at misogynistic jokes even after i’ve told him they make me uncomfortable.

he tries to control random decisions in my life too. we literally argued because i wanted to open a bank account that actually had benefits i wanted instead of the one he wanted me to choose.

he calls me dumb pretty casually now. meanwhile he genuinely thinks he’s the smartest person in every room. after hearing it enough, it doesn’t come across as confidence anymore, simply as cockiness.

we’re kind of long distance now. we only see each other once a month, sometimes even less.
he never asks me out anymore.

the only time he seems excited to text me is when he wants sex.
when we’re apart, he asks me to send him pictures because he’s “in the mood.” i make excuses almost every time because i don’t even feel attractive anymore. i just feel… convenient.

i’ve realised i don’t even miss talking to him anymore.

i miss who he used to be.

and i think that’s the hardest part.

i’ve spent so long hoping i’d get the old him back that i ignored the person standing in front of me now.

i think i’m finally accepting that i’m not losing the relationship.

i lost it a long time ago, i just didn’t want to admit it.

i’m 18f and last year i did something very stupid.
around may last year, i had non penetrative sex with my partner but i had very little knowledge so i freaked out and took an ipill because i thought i thought i couldve gotten pregnant because there were fingers and hands involved ik very dumb😭
and that stupidity didn’t stop there in less than an year from that point, i took ipills on two other occasions.
i was cribbing abt how i put SO much weight and my so much i mean around 20kgs and my friend told me that it might’ve been the pills and now i’m wondering if it is actually true.
till that point i.e may 2025, i weighed around 52 kgs now im 20kgs heavier
they ran all kinds of tests, diabetes, thyroid, etc, everything came back normal.
could it have been the pills?😭
i’m so mad at myself because i took those pills for nothing out of paranoia, now i deeply suffer body dysmorphia and body image issues because i’ve never in my life been fat, infact i was skinny skinnyyy kind , for reference im 5’7 so 52 kgs looked pretty lean on me, now i regret everything😭

idk if i’m overreacting but i’m pretty upset.

my birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks and i sent my boyfriend one of those birthday transition reels and told him i wanted to recreate it. he replied saying, “hey, i can’t gift u anything this year.”

i asked why and he said he forgot to save up because he accidentally spent all his money on himself.

it’s not like he doesn’t get any money though. he’s from a pretty well-off family, he’s heavily involved in his dad’s business and earns a decent amount as pocket money from it. i’m not saying he should be buying me expensive stuff or spending a fortune on me. that’s genuinely not what this is about. i would’ve been happy with something small, even a pair of earrings, chocolates, flowers, a handwritten letter, or literally anything that showed he had thought about me.

what hurts is that he knows gifting is my love language. i’ve told him that before and he knows how much i enjoy putting thought into gifts for people i love.

this also isn’t the first time i’ve felt weird about his spending habits. when we were away for college for a year, he lost his monthly expenses and i helped him out during that time. we usually split bills on dates, which i’m completely okay with, but i’ve noticed he almost always spends less than i do. i can’t really remember a time where he voluntarily spent more than me.
there was this one time at a café where i had already paid the bill. we forgot to buy water and while i was going to get it, he asked me to get him something else too since i was already buying the water.

during that year away from home, his dad used to send him what honestly felt like a pretty small allowance for the city we were living in. i kept telling him to ask for a little more because it genuinely wasn’t enough, but he said he felt weird asking his dad. because of that, i often offered to pay the full bill or pay more whenever it was easier.

for his birthday, i saved up for around 3-4 months so i could buy him a speaker because i knew he’d love it.

he also has no problem asking me to order food for him, which i genuinely don’t mind, and half the time i do it without him even asking. but he’s never really done the same for me.
i think what hurts the most is that it feels like he put himself first. not because he couldn’t afford some huge gift, but because he spent everything on himself and then just told me there wasn’t anything left for my birthday.
am i being unreasonable for feeling hurt?

idk if i’m overreacting but i’m pretty upset.
my birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks and i sent my boyfriend one of those birthday transition reels and told him i wanted to recreate it. he replied saying, “hey, i can’t gift u anything this year.”
i asked why and he said he forgot to save up because he accidentally spent all his money on himself.
it’s not like he doesn’t get any money though. he’s from a pretty well-off family, he’s heavily involved in his dad’s business and earns a decent amount as pocket money from it. i’m not saying he should be buying me expensive stuff or spending a fortune on me. that’s genuinely not what this is about. i would’ve been happy with something small, even a pair of earrings, chocolates, flowers, a handwritten letter, or literally anything that showed he had thought about me.
what hurts is that he knows gifting is my love language. i’ve told him that before and he knows how much i enjoy putting thought into gifts for people i love.
this also isn’t the first time i’ve felt weird about his spending habits. when we were away for college for a year, he lost his monthly expenses and i helped him out during that time. we usually split bills on dates, which i’m completely okay with, but i’ve noticed he almost always spends less than i do. i can’t really remember a time where he voluntarily spent more than me.
there was this one time at a café where i had already paid the bill. we forgot to buy water and while i was going to get it, he asked me to get him something else too since i was already buying the water.
during that year away from home, his dad used to send him what honestly felt like a pretty small allowance for the city we were living in. i kept telling him to ask for a little more because it genuinely wasn’t enough, but he said he felt weird asking his dad. because of that, i often offered to pay the full bill or pay more whenever it was easier.
for his birthday, i saved up for around 3-4 months so i could buy him a speaker because i knew he’d love it.
he also has no problem asking me to order food for him, which i genuinely don’t mind, and half the time i do it without him even asking. but he’s never really done the same for me.
i think what hurts the most is that it feels like he put himself first. not because he couldn’t afford some huge gift, but because he spent everything on himself and then just told me there wasn’t anything left for my birthday.
am i being unreasonable for feeling hurt?

tl;dr: my boyfriend told me he can’t get me a birthday gift because he forgot to save up after spending all his money on himself. it’s not about wanting something expensive, i would’ve appreciated even a small thoughtful gift. i’ve also noticed a pattern where i put in more effort financially and gift-wise throughout our relationship, so i’m wondering if i’m overreacting for feeling hurt.