I bought my SSgt some massage oil, sexy dice, and a card - female Marine ruined everything
Many moons ago when I was awaiting dropping into the schoolhouse we had a few months of boredom (obviously).
So we were out in town one day at the Jville mall and I see some sexy dice at some random store. One of those like “lick” or some verb on one die and “nipple” or some other noun on the other.
For some reason I got to thinking that it would be fun to prank SSgt with these, but I didn’t quite know how at the time.
When I got back to base I was buying some cigarettes and found some floral massage oil, a little gift bag, and a romantic card and it all hit me. I wrote something about wanting to surprise him on Friday and to wait for another card. Then I put it all in the gift bag and put it on his truck early one morning before formation.
The rest of the week he was showing off about how he was gonna get some and how he had a secret admirer and he was the shit and bitches loved him.
He was doing little dances in formation like he really thought he was some sexy motherfucker. He kept saying things like “you bitches are gonna be stuck here while I’m out with a fine woman!”
This dude was so excited that he said we would be getting dismissed early on Friday so he could get some.
So Friday morning comes around and everyone is all excited to just clean the squad bays and then get dismissed for a little extra libbo.
As I’m cleaning duty comes up and tells me staff sergeant wants to see me.
I go up to the office and all of the gift back is on his desk and he’s looking real pissed off, sitting in his chair with his hands in front of his face, fingers touching the opposite hand’s fingers.
He asked if I had anything to do with this. I probably had a shit eating grin on my face as I said something unconvincingly like “with what staff sergeant?” Then he tells me lance corporal (female marine) saw me buying the oil and the bag and the card at the MCX and ratted me out.
So I had to tell him it was a prank that I didn’t think much of but I couldn’t say anything once it started escalating.
Then he had everyone stop field day and gather around in formation, where he announced that instead of cleaning and going on libbo, we would have no libbo at all that weekend and would clean all weekend instead, and it was my fault for pranking him, and that it probably wasn’t a prank and I was his secret admirer. 😂
Many people were pissed that I fucked up their weekend, but many more came to tell me that it was worth it and how funny it was to see SSgt hyping himself up all week.