Ive always struggled with a porn addiction. It’s something that I have never been able to shake since I was a teenager. I’m now 29 and my girlfriend is 28, we’ve been together for the past 3 years. She’s known about my addiction since the first year we got together and expressed she had no problem with it. The past few weeks, she’s become more irritable and annoying to be around, especially when she catches me watching porn. She’s been arguing that my addiction is starting to get out of hand, apparently i’ve been watching it/talking about it more often. I don’t see the problem here especially since i’ve been open and honest about my struggles from the start.

A while back, an OF creator by the name of “bonnie blue” was having an event hosted near the area i live in. I was planning to go with a few of my mates (not to participate, just to watch as i’ve been a long time subscriber to her) and somehow my girlfriend found out about this. I explained to her that I wasn’t going to do anything and I was only going to be there for moral support of my friends which she replied to crying and locking herself in our bedroom. I got annoyed and started an argument with her. It seems that i’m starting to build a resentment towards her after this incident and I don’t know what to do going forward. Am I the asshole? I truly don’t believe i’ve done anything wrong as I already told her i wasn’t going to do anything and that all i wanted to do was see a person i’ve been interested in for a while. What should I do?

Gals and non binary pals, please beware. We've been noticing an uptick in men trying to participate in the sub amd DM members unsolicitedly. We want this to be a safe space for women.

While we do our best to ensure only women join, some men do slip through the cracks. If you notice anyone, please send us a modmail immediately and report the comment for violating the subreddit rules. They'll be banned as soon as we see the report/modmail.

To all the men here: please ask yourselves why you feel the need to invade women's spaces? You don't see us invading yours.

i’m 17f and i have a crazy shoplifting addiction, (kleptomania) and unfortunately it finally caught up to me…yesterday i got caught borrowing at tj maxx, the only reason why i did it is bc my family is extremely poor and i never get to have nice things, really wish i didn’t dress so suspiciously, i’m just mad that i am permanently banned from all tjx companies. since i’m a minor i didn’t get arrested so that’s good but the whole situation was extremely humiliating, my mom yelled at me and my dad gave me the silent treatment but i am more scared they’ll put me online, they have all my info so now i just wanna kms. they didn’t give a fuck when i screamed about having a poor family, that just shows how insufferable these multi million dollar companies are. the funniest part is everything i took was under $40 they should’ve just let me slide.. i don’t want to be permanently banned from the whole shopping center, they have so many good stores there. having parents who never let me have anything nice made me like this. wore the same clothes and shoes for 5 years, never had makeup, same school supplies, and just limited to so much, this shit isn’t fair. i’ll admit im not sorry for what i did, im just “sorry” bc i got caught, fuck all these corporations who make so much profit off of us.

Joined to talk to other crochet hobbyists and in india, share tools and resources, but this seems to have turned into a subreddit where people are just promoting their own businesses. I have nothing against that, but I'm simply not interested in that content. I want to see what people are making for themselves and their WIPs, queries and even mistakes. I don't really want to feel like I'm on a business promotion group.

Two prominent cases of parents killing their children have caught a lot of discussion recently, but only one seems to have captured indian reddit's obsession entirely, even if it happened on a completely different continent.

One, a father killing his 18 year old daughter to cover up her pregnancy, the other the case of Lindsay Clancy, whose trial recently started.

There are lot of differences between these cases- the deceased daughter in the first case was an adult, and the deceased children in the second case were all under the age of 10. The father in the first case's name has not been publicly released and there hasn't been an article about in two weeks, while the Clancy trial is being live streamed and receiving non stop commentary- surprisingly from an Indian audience too.

Under instagram posts about the father drowning his pregnant daughter, he received out pourings of support- several commentors lauding his actions, saying that the daughter deserved it and praising him for drowning his daughter in what has been dubbed an "honour killing". Others rightly called out the fact that he had no right to decide to end his daughter's life, that it was a symptom of a deeply patriarchal society that he felt the need to murder his daughter to "preserve" his "honour".

And then, radio silence. We have no idea what is going on with the case. After all, women being murdered is a dime a dozen occurrence and so are honour killings.

With the Clancy trial, there is a certain fascination. Her children are young, innocent and blameless. She is beautiful, and a mother killing her children is a perversion of nature. We saw all this with the Andrea Yates trial, 25 years ago, when PPP finally came into the public consciousness. It is a great culture war topic because everyone loves a female villain.

The Indian fascination with Clancy can only come from the fact that post partum health is so poorly understood in India, and of course, so much of the right's culture war in India is regurgitated points from America.

The point isn't that one case is a bigger tragedy than another, or that one case deserves more attention, it is that certain kinds of filicide are much more acceptable than others. Fathers killing their daughters to restore honour is seen as almost necessary, to "preserve" our culture, but a mother suffering from post partum psychosis killing her children is a monster, to fuel RW commentary.

Last week we were on a family trip. It was my family (husband, 2 kids and myself), brother in-law and just 2 kids aged and my husbands parents. We all went to an all inclusive resort for a week.

I told my husband before I left that I was excited to enjoy this vacation with him and the kids and it was going to be fun to watch the kids play with their cousins. They are all around the same age.

The first night went great. We all got there and settled in, the kids went swimming. The adults sat by the pool and then we all ate supper together.

My brother in-law asked me if I would watch his kids the next morning so my husband and him could go on jet skis together. I said no problem cuz I was wanting to be by the pool and I knew the kids would all have fun together anyway. My husband checked with me before leaving to make sure I was truly ok with it and ya it was no problem. .

The next day my brother in-law asked again so they could go out again. I agreed but asked if they could be back by 1 so I could spend sometime with my husband. It turned out they were gone all day and I didn't see my husband and had all 4 kids to myself the whole day.

When I asked what happened before my husband could even explain my brother in-law piped up and said that he didn't think it was a big deal cuz I was a woman and should just watch the kids without complaints.

My husbands face dropped and my face got red. I told him that if that's what he thinks then I would be watching his kids anymore on this trip.

AITA for refusing to continue to watch his kids?

My wife and I are fortunate enough to be in a position where we can pay for our daughter’s college education.

The issue is what she wants to major in.
She’s interested in things like theater, art, and other creative fields. I told her I’m concerned about spending a significant amount of money on a degree that may not give her many stable career options after graduation.

We actually sat down together and looked at potential careers, salaries, and job opportunities associated with some of the majors she’s considering. From what we found, I wasn’t convinced the cost of the degree made financial sense.

So I gave her a choice.

If she chooses a major with a reasonably clear path toward stable, gainful employment, my wife and I will pay 100% of her tuition.

If she decides she wants to pursue one of the creative majors she’s interested in, I’ll still contribute—but only up to the equivalent of in-state public university tuition. She wants to attend a private school, so she would be responsible for the difference through scholarships, working, or student loans.

My reasoning is pretty simple: I’m willing to invest heavily in her education, but I don’t think being able to afford something automatically means I should pay for it regardless of the potential return.

She absolutely hated this.

She told me that making her take out loans when we have the ability to pay is unfair and would put her at a disadvantage starting her adult life.

I told her that graduating with an expensive degree that doesn’t provide enough income to support herself could also put her at a disadvantage.
That did not help my case.

My wife thinks I’m being too rigid, and most of my family thinks I’m the asshole. Their argument is that college should be about finding something you’re passionate about, not just maximizing your future salary.

I understand that argument. I also think there’s a difference between supporting your kid’s dreams and writing a blank check for them.

For context, I’m a 39-year-old high school biology teacher, and my wife works in healthcare. We’re not wealthy—we’ve just been fortunate and planned ahead enough that paying for college is something we can realistically do.

So, internet strangers:
Am I the asshole for putting conditions on how much I’m willing to pay based on what my daughter chooses to major in?

Additional Context:

I had a 3 million dollar inheritance. We paid off our home and live very frugally. Our kids don’t know about the inheritance

My family was having one of our usual backyard football games last weekend. Everyone was joking around, drinking, and getting competitive. My SIL made an absolutely incredible play and intercepted the ball. I ran over, grabbed her shoulder, and gave her a pretty firm slap on the butt while saying, “That’s what I’m talking about!” She immediately turned around and looked at me like I had two heads. I laughed at first because I thought she was just surprised, but then she said, “Don’t ever touch me like that again.” The weird part is that I honestly thought it was harmless. We’ve known each other for years, and I’ve always considered her family. But apparently I made her uncomfortable. Later that night, my wife confronted me about it. She said the way I described it made it sound like I had been waiting for an excuse to touch her. That really bothered me because I wasn't waiting for anything. Although, if I'm being completely honest, I have noticed that my SIL has been looking really good lately. I don't think I've ever said or done anything inappropriate about it, though. Now my wife is furious, my SIL won't really talk to me, and my family is divided. Some say it was just a football celebration. Others say there was something creepy about the fact that I specifically chose to slap her butt instead of just giving her a high-five. I genuinely don't know if I'm being made into a monster over one stupid moment or if I crossed a serious boundary. AITA?

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Which-Spring-7648 posting in r/AITH

Concluded as per OOP

1 update - Short

Original - 31st July 2026

Update - 13th August 2026

AITAH for sleeping with a woman after the woman I’d been talking to said she didn’t want anything serious?

Earlier this year, in March 2026, I started talking to a woman. We got along really well and had great chemistry over text. The problem was that she never seemed to have time to meet. Every time we tried to make plans, something came up. The only time we actually met was by chance at a bar. She also made it clear that she wasn’t interested in anything serious and didn’t want to commit to anyone. I respected that completely. We agreed to keep in touch while also being free to meet other people.

A few months later, I became friends with some people in her friend group. From my side, those friendships were completely platonic. Eventually, I met another woman from the same group. We clicked immediately, had a great connection, and really enjoyed each other’s company. At the time, she didn’t know who I was or that I had previously been talking to her friend. Long story short, we ended up sleeping together. The next day, she found out that I’d been talking to her friend before. She felt she owed it to her friend to tell her what had happened. I completely understood that and had no problem with it.

However, the first woman became very angry with me and said I’d crossed a line.

From my perspective, we were never in a relationship. We never slept together, barely met in person, and she had already told me she didn’t want anything serious. We had also agreed that we were both free to see other people. She had also been seeing other people, while I hadn’t been with anyone until this happened.

The only thing I knew beforehand was that they knew each other. I didn’t realize they were actually close friends.

So… AITAH?

Comments

Fit-Gas6744

Nta she's just pissed that her pen pal back up plan moved on. Ive been in your position twice and never again Weeks of vague 'plans' and excuses, its such a waste of time and effort. Glad you met someone in the real world and moved on. Best of luck

>OOP: Yeah, that “pen pal back up plan” line hits it pretty well, honestly. The constant vague plans that never materialized should’ve probably been a signal on their own. Sorry you’ve been through it too — glad it worked out better on the other side for me at least. Appreciate the well wishes.

rTracker_rTracker

IMO She’s mad that someone else found out what she’d been too arrogant to enjoy. It’s more about her ego and “not ready” bs being exposed to her friends group. Take her being upset as a badge of honor and cut things off with her and pursue the friend!

NoLaugh5206

This. Pursue the friend if she's open to it and ditch the red flag. Just be ready for when she makes this all about her and tried to pull the "of you were my friend you wouldn't see him anymore" with the one worth pursuing.

>OOP: Haha ya, I could see her trying to pull that “if you were really my friend” card at some point. We’ll see how that plays out if it happens. As for the pursuing part, funny enough she’s more than open, if anything she wants to move faster than I do haha. I’m the one kinda pumping the brakes a bit cuz it’s moving quick, but I do like her a lot so we’ll see.

**Judgement - NTA**

Update - 13 days later

Wow, did NOT expect this post to blow up the way it did. Between the comments, the DMs, and the sheer number of people with “opinions,” I figured you all deserved a proper update instead of leaving you hanging. So here we go.

Woman #1: I honestly couldn’t care less at this point. Blocked. Deleted. Gone. Zero regrets. My only concern is that I live in a small enough city that running into her at a bar is basically a “when” not “if” situation, and something tells me she’s not going to greet me with a friendly wave and small talk. But who cares? life’s too short

The friend group: I talked to the other people in the group. Turns out woman #1 doesn’t want anything to do with woman #2 anymore and doesn’t want to stay friends with her either. Honestly, fair enough.

Woman #2: We talked it out too, and she’s totally fine losing woman #1 as a friend. Turns out they weren’t even that close to begin with. Also, plot twist: apparently woman #1 ended up getting with woman #2’s ex a while ago. To be fair to her, she says she didn’t know he was the ex when it happened, so I’m not going to hold that against her.

Where things stand now: Woman #2 and I are still in close contact. We talk every day and see each other often. We haven’t put a label on it or had “the talk,” but it’s basically turned into a semi-relationship at this point. I’ve met her mom, she’s met my parents. It’s still early days, but I could genuinely see this turning into something real.

So yeah, We’re basically dating, we just haven’t filled out the LinkedIn “in a relationship” form yet. Went from “am I the asshole” to “am I about to be somebody’s boyfriend” in a few short months. Life comes at you fast. Take care.

Comments

Life_Temperature2506

I know I was less serious on your initial post. But the sentiment remains the same: Woman #1 was being unreasonable because she lost her back up plan. Sounds like you gotta little something good going on right now, good luck with that. NTAH

Odd_Welcome7940

OP... met a girl who didnt want to label things or be exclusive. It caused an issue (even if it wasn't really their issue). Gets that all settled and has continued with new girl. Meeting parents and everything. AND... hasn't put a label on it. OP, you need to be a label gun and get to labeling some things. Still NTA at all

>OOP: Hmm, fair callout. Honestly it’s not that I’m avoiding it, I like her a lot and it’s mutual, I just don’t want to rush into slapping a label on it given how messy the start of it all was. Feels like we’re letting it build naturally rather than forcing the paperwork. But yeah..

I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.

Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Just last night, I was talking to a girl I’m casually seeing. She told me that she hooked up with a guy last Saturday, and we ended up discussing our casual experiences.

I asked her, “If you eventually get married whether it’s a love marriage (LM) or an arranged marriage (AM) would you tell your future husband about your casual hookup history?”

She said, “Not at all. I’d tell him I’d never done anything like that. Maybe I’d mention the making-out stuff, and perhaps a serious relationship, but that’s it.”

She also said something interesting: a girl will generally never tell a guy she genuinely wants to be with about something she believes he wouldn’t be comfortable accepting. According to her, girls are very good at reading guys. They can usually figure out pretty quickly how open-minded a guy is and what he will or won’t accept.

And before anyone jumps to conclusions, I’m not talking about some stereotypical “baddie” or party girl who’s always out clubbing. She’s more of a girl-next-door type pretty normal, low-key, and not someone you’d necessarily expect to have a casual past.

So, to all my v*rgins bros out there: there’s a good chance you may never get the kind of “girl with absolutely no past” that you’re hoping for, especially in today’s dating scene.

My advice? Don’t spend your youth obsessing over finding someone with a completely untouched past. Go out, meet people, have fun, experience life, and live your youth to the fullest as much as you’re personally comfortable with.

At the end of the day, everyone has their own standards and boundaries. You do you.

Edit: My post is not meant to be a hate post toward girls at all. The girl I’m talking about in my post is actually a very nice person. She’s simply living her life like a healthy young woman should, and she has physical needs—and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

My post is more of a reality check for guys: you should also have some life experience and be more open-minded about these things. That way, you’re less likely to develop resentment toward a girl simply because she may have experienced things differently from you.

Of course, if you’re not comfortable with certain experiences yourself, that’s completely understandable too. Everyone has their own boundaries and choices, and those should be respected.

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/ThrowRA6828266

Published on: r/relationship_advice

Story is: ONGOING

Story timeline

• Main Post: July 27, 2026

• Update 1: July 28, 2026

• Update 2: August 09, 2026

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Main Post

^(July 27, 2026)

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My (M28) wife (F26) is currently cheating on me as I write this

my wife and I got married a few years ago, both born and raised in the US. we come from pretty strict families.

For a bit of back story, my wife had a bit of a history before we got married. as do I but mine wasn’t as bad. Regardless I didn’t feel the need to compare numbers etc as she and I both changed and wanted to settle down

Our marriage has been good so far, we haven’t had any major arguments, traveled lots, constantly communicated our feelings etc.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I had left the house, however I forgot something so stepped back in and overheard my wife in the other room on the phone all giggly. Like as if she were talking to me (especially when we first got engaged/married)

The words out of her mouth pierced my chest. she explicitly said “you better fuck me for at least 3 hours”

I froze, I didn’t really know what to do. I snuck back out of the house and stood by the door for a few seconds to make sure I left undetected.

This next part I’m not proud of, but at night I forced myself to stay up till the middle of the night. I grabbed her phone and snuck to the other room. I searched but nothing. Then I looked in “recently deleted” texts and found messages with an unsaved number. Over 1100 of them in fact.

I read through the messages and they were sickening. Not just about daily life but a lot of it was sexual, things that they would do to each other. Did to each other, reminiscing about their recent meetups. How she’s hid it from me etc. There was many pictures/videos for evidence as well (even a couple with them both)

This was 2 weeks ago. I’ve kept quiet about it since. Every night when my wife goes to sleep I read the texts to stay updated. Today, they were planning on meeting up at our place while I was out at work. She also mentioned that sometimes I do work from home and if that were the case, they would go to his place as a backup plan or get a hotel nearby us (assuming he lives somewhat far away because one message he explicitly stated he hated being single and wanted to be with her)

This morning when I told my wife I’d be working from home she looked a little bit annoyed, even insisting I go in because I have been “home a lot” about an hour later, she told me she was going to hangout with her friend, dolled up in makeup. I’m very sure , because of the texts that I know where she currently is and what she is doing. It’s one thing to know it’s happened, but to now be sure it’s actively happening as I type this? Jeez.

The crazy thing is my wife tells me she loves me all the time. She is either putting up an amazing face to me or genuinely just can’t control her urges. However, that doesn’t change the facts.

I don’t even know where to begin, what to do. I screenshotted a lot of the texts and sent them to myself as well as some of the screenshots purely for evidence. But I’m really not an exposing type of person, nor do I wanna use them in anyway against her. I think my next step is laying the evidence in front of her and going from there.

I appreciate any thoughts or advice

 

COMMENTS

LincolnHawkHauling > It’s over. Fucking that other dude in your marital bed is the ultimate disrespect. There is no coming back from this. > > Lawyer up. Plan an elegant dinner at a nice restaurant for her and invite her parents because you have a big announcement.
> > Arrange to have the process server officially serve her with divorce papers in public, at the restaurant and in front of her parents. > > Print out the spiciest messages between your wife and her lover beforehand and give them to her parents. > > Excuse yourself from the table and leave your lawyers card. Don’t look back > > OOP >> I have certainly thought about doing something like this 

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kocodarlings > You screenshotted the texts and sent them to you - from her phone? (In
> Which case she may already know that you know because the “sent” texts will be there in her text messages.) Or did you take a photo of the texts with your phone? > > OOP >> Screenshotted them sent them to myself then deleted those messages off her phone 

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Update 1 - after 1 day

^(July 28, 2026)

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[MINOR UPDATE] My (M28) wife (F26) is currently cheating on me as I write this

Okay so this is a minor update with some clarifications since I was a little vague on my first post cause I honestly thought like maybe 5 people would read it.

First off, a lot of people were suggesting I get lawyers and evidence. I did state in my previous post I was sending screenshots from her phone to mine, this is the evidence I was gathering. Not to mention there are pictures of them together with their faces in those pictures so I feel as if that should be enough. And the lawyer I contacted has agreed.

Second off, yes I already contacted a lawyer. To be honest when I was asking for advice I was more asking for how to approach this with her, and really just carry on the rest of my life. Since we’ve only been married 2.5 years and she cheated the lawyer is pretty confident she’ll walk away with nothing.

I’m also going to tell my wife that if she wants her reputation to remain somewhat in tact then a seamless and quick divorce is what I want. I’m also pretty confident she’s not gonna go after my assets. Not to mention as I said in my previous post,  we come from strict upbringings so I’m hoping to spare her family the details. You guys might disagree with this but I’ve come to really love my (for now) in laws. They’ve embraced me fully and have been nothing but kind to me  and I’d prefer not to devastate them, not for her but for them.

As for the minor update part, my wife came home yesterday as if nothing happened. Made up a whole story of her friend gossiping about blah blah blah. But I know the hotel she was at, because at night I confirmed those when reading the texts while she was asleep as well as getting more photo evidence that he sent her from their time there. Of course I sent those to myself as well. 

The texts are still pretty horrific to read. I think the most bizarre thing is how normal she’s acting. Usually there’s behavioral changes if people cheat (at least that’s what people have said) but I absolutely would have no reason to believe otherwise had I not overheard her that day on the phone. I mean, this could’ve gone on for years and I would’ve assumed we were fine.

For those saying  i should expose the guy to his family or girlfriend I did mention that he appears to be single. I did think about contacting his job but I’m not sure if that’ll solve anything, and tbh. I really don’t care about him, from what I gathered he kind of seems like a loser anyways. If the peak of his life is sleeping with a married woman then so be it.

As for how things started with them I’m not entirely sure, they don’t work together nor do they workout at the same gym or go to any of the same places. The only thing I can assume is they spoke on a different platform before texting so that information is unknown to me at this time.  If I find out though I’ll update you guys.

But yes, a lawyer has been contacted. My wife is going on a week long trip with her family in the next couple days so my hope is to have everything situated and spill the beans when she gets back. Tell her that if she agrees to a quick and easy divorce then I’ll spare her folks the details and she can tell them we cordially decided to split for all I care as long as she doesn’t spin me to be the bad guy. Cause at the end of the day, I really don’t see the need to drag them down this hell hole as well.

Last thing, the guy my wife is cheating with has asked my wife several times to leave me so they can be together. It doesn’t seem like she is interested in a committed relationship with him, more of just the fun side. She has even said throughout texts im a great husband and at the end of the day she does feel guilty for cheating. Of course this means nothing to me except more evidence for the lawyer. But I really don’t think they’re gonna end up together once we’re split, if anything. She may resent  him  afterward.

But yeah hope I was able to clear some things up after some confusion. I haven’t been the doormat/spineless guy some of you had suggested lol. I have taken action, I was just more looking for advice on anything other than the marriage part. But, I understand my vagueness probably made it seem like I was asking otherwise.

so I guess I’ll ask again, any advice about how to approach this moving forward?

 

COMMENTS

salacious_pickle > Use that time she's away to get your financial affairs and living arrangements squared away. > > Get her off all accounts and cards that you might share ot at least the ones she won'tnotice until she'sserved.
> > If you're moving out, find a place to land and move most of your stuff out, especially anything you value or papers you need. Consult your lawyer about moving out first. > > It sounds like she's just having some illicit fun and has no intention of leaving you. She will likely be devastated when you serve her. Do not be swayed. You are doing the right thing and handling this like a boss. > > Good luck. > > OOP >> Yeah this is what I believe it is. She thought she could have her cake and eat it too. Unfortunately that isn’t gonna happen  >> >> salacious_pickle >>> Oh, STD testing for you is a definite.
>>> >>> Geez, this sucks just to have to think about. >>> >>> OOP >>>> Luckily I haven’t shown any symptoms of anything. I’ll still get one done tho 

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Recent-Chard-1669 > She'll probably paint you as the bad guy to her family, considering you mentioned her folks are strict, so just be prepared for that, I guess. Not that you should care either way tho > > OOP >> If she does it to a point where it becomes an issue then I will use the evidence I’ve gathered 

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RaceyRee3 > Horrible situation for you, you are handling it perfectly. I'm wondering...are you sure it's her family she's going away with? Weird you are not invited. > > OOP >> Yes it’s her family she’s going with. I was invited but I have been tied up crazy in work so bowed out before I knew she was cheating  >> >> 4hhsumm >>> This was the immediate question in my head too. Regardless, perfect opportunity to get your shit together. >>> >>> Will you be able to have her served right when she gets back? >>> >>> Also, it’s good that you have a good relationship with your in-laws. Which, in my opinion, is all the more reason to be honest with them. Tell them the truth. You don’t need to give all the gory details, but tell them the second she gets served. It’s disrespectful not to tell them. >>> >>> “Because I care about you and have deeply appreciated our relationship, I want you to hear it directly from me. It pains me to inform you that I discovered she’s been cheating on me. I have filed for divorce. I hope we can stay on good terms, despite the fact that we won’t be family any longer.” >>> >>> Hell, have a text message queued up to send simultaneously when she receives the paperwork. >>> >>> OOP >>>> Honestly I never considered it from this perspective. Good thing about this post on Reddit is it’s made me reconsider alot of ways I was gonna do things. Thanks for the perspective in this, I might just tell them but in a respectful manner 

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shamanempress3311 > I'm sorry you are going through this. > > You are handling this amazingly well. I'm proud of you whoever you are:) I probably would have freaked out but she sounds so terrible that maybe you lost so much feeling and respect for her it was easier to do. > > > Good Luck with everything and keep us posted! > > OOP >> Thanks! It’s been difficult at times to keep my composure. There’s definitely moments where I wanna storm in the next room and expose her but ik it’ll only hurt me in the long run 

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Update 2 - after 13 days (after 12 days from last post)

^(August 09, 2026)

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Update - My M28 wife F26 is currently cheating on me as I write this

Alright so plenty people have been commenting to DMing for an update. Not sure if this will be my only update or not but here it goes.

During my wife’s trip with her family I lined up everything and officially filed. The day after she came back I sat her down at the kitchen table and informed her that I was aware of her infidelity. I told her I had been reading her texts and saw the pictures, and was aware for awhile now that she was actively cheating on me. After breaking it to her she didn’t really know what to say. She didn’t defend her actions at all, she pretty much just apologized and said she had no excuse.

I told her I wasn’t really looking for an apology here, just closure. I pretty much laid into her about how awful it is to break such a big commitment and cheat on someone who should be your other half. Again, she didn’t really retaliate and pretty much accepted what she had done was wrong. Looking down the whole time holding back tears. I didn’t yell, curse, or insult her. I just spoke my mind.

After I was done venting she let me know that she would make a divorce process easy and wouldn’t go after any assets since she wasn’t faithful. I’ll be honest, I did appreciate the ownership of her mistake and told her I did in fact appreciate that. She then mentioned that if I were willing to work things out then she would give me her location and full access to her phone etc. I let her know I wasn’t interested in that kind of marriage. That even if I could look past her cheating (I couldnt) that I wouldn’t wanna be in a relationship where I have to spend effort making sure you wouldn’t cheat again.

After shutting that down though she said that she accepted the fact she ruined our marriage and wouldn’t ask again. The only thing she asked is that she be the one that would break it to her parents and that she would be completely honest with them. I agreed since I already had the evidence of her cheating.

Both her parents called me and apologized and let me know that if there was anything I needed that I could ask. They said they still look at me as an extension of their family and both are upset things ended but understand why I was walking away, and how disappointed they were because they never thought they’d raise a cheater.

As for the guy she had an affair with, I did find out more about him. He’s not in a relationship and seems to be a bit of a loser himself. His job isn’t good enough for me to contact to get him fired, in fact when I found out what he did for a living I’d hope he gets stuck there lol. There definitely isn’t a future for them together (not that I care) and apparently my soon to be ex wife has already cut him off after I served her the papers. (Again, whether she actually did or didn’t doesn’t bother me)

Good news is the divorce shouldn’t take long at all since she isn’t going after any assets and we have nothing to split. I’m taking what’s mine and she took what’s hers. We don’t have a joint account so a divorce will be finalized soon. She’s already moved back in with her parents and is taking her stuff bit by bit but should be done with that in the next couple days.

Lastly as for me, I’m not sure where I go after this. I feel as if everything happened so quickly. I’m definitely going to do my best to enjoy the bachelor life and living on my own for the first time in my life. On one hand I’m scared but also a little excited. I have nobody to answer to or check in on for the first time ever. So I’m going to use it to my advantage.

I don’t know how long it’ll be before I am open to the idea of seeing someone again. I figure maybe after a few months I’d be open to the idea of seeing someone casually but I think I definitely want at least a year or so away from commitments and relationships. I’m also thinking about doing some solo traveling since I have the means financially and obviously, the time.

I just wanna thank everyone for the good advice along the way, I had pretty much an idea of how I was gonna do things but some of the comments definitely helped me line things up exactly.

Idk if I’m gonna do another “life” update but as for now this part of my life seems to be over. If that update were to come though it would likely be on my profile (though I’m not sure how many of you actually care about my day to day life lol)

Thanks once again for those who offered their support.

I guess my last and final question for now. bachelor and bachelorettes, how do I have fun again?

 

COMMENTS

Leading-Button-7303 > Man, that all happened almost too easy. Good for you for standing up for yourself and leaving. Enjoy your new life, absolutely travel and have fun. Live a life that'll fulfill you and make her realize what she lost. > > OOP >> Yeah luckily she seems to just be accepting the terms of the divorce. Worst that could happen for both of us is dragging it out senselessly and I think she understands that 

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Lazy_Guava_5104 > I just want to add that you should assume "...she let me know that she would make a divorce process easy and wouldn’t go after any assets since she wasn’t faithful..." might not hold. I mean, there's every chance she will honor it, but be prepared for her to decide that, indeed, she does want as much as she can get. > > OOP >> I have things lined up in case she decides to fight. My soon to be ex wife isn’t much of a fighter though

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ParameciaAntic > At least there were no kids involved. > > OOP >> Makes things much easier 

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slowMOjoe13 > I'd probably get a new bed at the least. > > I'd probably move too. Not new job type of move (especially if the job/pay is good) but just to change scenery and traffic patterns when needing to go into the office. > > Moving will help purge anything the ex left behind and the new route to work will help keep your mind from doing that thing of, "oh we had xyz experience at that restaurant/store ". > IMO > > OOP >> I have looked into moving but I hate moving lol. I actually quite like where I live so I’m thinking of sticking it out for now. >> >> Definitely need a new routine though with all the time I’ve got. Didn’t think of the new bed thing, I guess that’s a pretty good idea in itself 

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ergonomic_logic > Wait so you're finalizing the divorce and it's been 11-ish days? > > That's insanely fast. Aren't there like cool-down periods and the like even for uncontested divorces I thought it often takes months? > > OOP >> We haven’t finalized anything. The papers were just served but her and her family pretty much assured me there’s gonna be no fight put up. It’s not over legally (yet) but the fat lady is getting ready to sing  >> >> ergonomic_logic >>> Also going to call out that 11 days would be generous. 12 days ago, you didn't know what to do. Your wife had just been there that morning at the time. >>> >>> Since then, She left on a trip with her family, during which you filed for the divorce. When she returned from trip (however long that was) you waited a day and then you sat her down. >>> >>> So you can see why you're seemingly excited because you're almost finalized with the divorce and are looking forward to your bachelor's life would strike as odd? >>> >>> OOP >>>> Not really. I knew what I was going to do I just wasn’t sure how to break it to her. >>>> >>>> And as for being excited about the bachelor life the truth is I’ve had awhile now to digest the fact that my marriage is over. I’m not going to sit here and sulk forever 

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LordFartz > Good work, man. The affair partner is always a total loser. It’s uncanny. > > OOP >> Not that I’m top shelf shit or anything but the dude really seems like a bum ngl 

 

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This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.

Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/Glooert-4746

Published on: r/whatdoIdo

Previous BORU: BORU-1

Story is: CONCLUDED

Story timeline

• Main Post: July 10, 2026

• Update 1: July 11, 2026

• Update 2: July 14, 2026

• Update 3: July 20, 2026 --> NEW UPDATE

• Final Update: July 30, 2026 --> NEW UPDATE

---

Main Post

^(July 10, 2026)

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My husband is suddenly angry all the time and wants to fire a random woman. How do I talk to him?

My husband is very stressed all the time. Ever since we met he (45) told me (43) career and growing in his career is the most important thing for him. He is an engineer and currently responsible for a company of more than 600 people. Even if locally no one is above him he still has to report results to the headquarters regularly.

He is very tough, strict and even though I do not understand a lot of what they doing, I feel he pushes people over their limits. He promises the HQ he will reach every goal, live up to every standard. he overworks himself and his people. micromanages, controls, shouts, threatens.

but I tried to separate his work persona from his home persona and we get along well. We jog together, swim together and various other sports. he never yells at me, never talks down to me.

But this changed in the beginning of June. He got frustrated at every little thing at home too. Out of nowhere he called a woman, a subordinate, but now his direct one. A woman who, he would tell me later, works at their marketing department. She is 24. He wants to fire her, he offered her a few salaries just so she leaves. I never saw him invested this much in any employee. He is not the kind of executive who is close with people, who talks to them. he is up there, and they are down. he has his close inner group.

I asked him why he is so invested and he said she is not a good performer and wants her out. I NEVER saw him talking to one of the people at the bottom of the hierarchy. this woman randomly just called him. Didn't even text. she just called him, something that is frowned upon in any corporate setting (i also work corporate and I would never dare to call an executive just like that. and if i did, I would be called out on it). I heard parts of their conversation. He was yelling and getting frustrated and she was calm, sarcastic and was like: and what will you do about it?

I know him and not only him. I am familiarised with corporate world. A top director never talks one to one with a random, irrelevant employee. and she was so casual with him.

He started raising his voice at me too, is not interested in anything anymore. I am concerned and I want to talk to him about it but am scared of what it might come out of it. how do i do it, he is always irritated.

 

COMMENTS

blankets_and_pillows > It sounds like he had an affair with her, she ended it, and now he wants her out. > > OOP >> yeah I mean when I posted this I also suspected something like that but I don't see how it could happen. He is not really popular with employees. not like totally hated or something but he keeps his distance

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Update 1 - after 1 day

^(July 11, 2026)

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My husband is suddenly angry all the time and wants to fire a random woman. I found out why and I am having a divorce

so, this was quick. This post is an updat to my yesterday one. I was pushing it and pressuring him. He left for a couple hours and then came back very calm and told me in a calm voice, like he has given up, that he got her pregnant. and she doesn't want to terminate, she doesn't want to resign, he cannot fire her because she is pregnant.

op:

husband is very stressed all the time. Ever since we met he (45) told me (43) career and growing in his career is the most important thing for him. He is an engineer and currently responsible for a company of more than 600 people. Even if locally no one is above him he still has to report results to the headquarters regularly.

He is very tough, strict and even though I do not understand a lot of what they doing, I feel he pushes people over their limits. He promises the HQ he will reach every goal, live up to every standard. he overworks himself and his people. micromanages, controls, shouts, threatens.

but I tried to separate his work persona from his home persona and we get along well. We jog together, swim together and various other sports. he never yells at me, never talks down to me.

But this changed in the beginning of June. He got frustrated at every little thing at home too. Out of nowhere he called a woman, a subordinate, but now his direct one. A woman who, he would tell me later, works at their marketing department. She is 24. He wants to fire her, he offered her a few salaries just so she leaves. I never saw him invested this much in any employee. He is not the kind of executive who is close with people, who talks to them. he is up there, and they are down. he has his close inner group.

I asked him why he is so invested and he said she is not a good performer and wants her out. I NEVER saw him talking to one of the people at the bottom of the hierarchy. this woman randomly just called him. Didn't even text. she just called him, something that is frowned upon in any corporate setting (i also work corporate and I would never dare to call an executive just like that. and if i did, I would be called out on it). I heard parts of their conversation. He was yelling and getting frustrated and she was calm, sarcastic and was like: and what will you do about it?

I know him and not only him. I am familiarised with corporate world. A top director never talks one to one with a random, irrelevant employee. and she was so casual with him.

He started raising his voice at me too, is not interested in anything anymore.

 

COMMENTS

LetsGoYankeez > Holy. Shit. > > This is the most heartbreaking update > > I’m sorry, op > > You deserved better 💔 > > OOP >> you know what the worst part is? that after he told me about it he rested his forehead on his forearm and murmured that his career is over. not his marriage, his career >> >> Cool-Elderberry5406 >>> I'm so sorry this happened to you. 💔 >>> >>> OOP >>>> and the worse part in all this mess is that I know how much he had suffered because he was an affair baby and no one cared for him. His father had money but didn't even acknowledge his existence. his mother partied and had fun, then got married, had other kids and she didn't care either. his grandma did her best to raise him but were living very modestly. and now he is going to have a baby and he really planned and hope to make that woman a single mother at 25, knowing she has no real support, no family and if he succeeded, no income

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OOP > I am also sorry for the future baby. My husband himself was an affair child. This is why he was so obsessed with being successful. he wanted to show his parents that he can make it without them. his father was married and had 3 children with his wife. he didn't divorce and wife forgave him. his mother also didn't want to raise him because she was very young and wanted to live a little. so she placed him in the care of her mother, his grandma. that woman loved him but was deeply religious and always let it show the way he came into this world was shameful. he lived his life trying to prove the 2 people that couldn't care less he existed that he is worthy. his mother also married later, when she was like 22 and had children with her husband. so I am really curious if he will be a present father > > whatashame_13 >> Plz just tell HR, they both dont deserve peace, let them lose their jobs and figure out things together later on >> >>OOP >>> he said she is from the system, raised by multiple foster families and wants to get out of the misery. i searched her up because well... why not hurt myself more. she studied business administration at a very good university and probably wants to grow her career fast

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OOP > I will leave the most recent update as a comment to the top comment, in order for it to not get lost. So, he told me whatever happens regarding his career, marriage, relationship with her, he will take care of his baby. I read some more of their texts. he slapped her. because in one of his texts she told him she has pictures of that too. it happened during their most recent conflict. he never did that to me, ever. and she still wants him to marry her even though he hit her.

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OOP > she doesn't want a raise, she wants him to give her a good position. like really good, head of department. She just turned 25 (i got the age wrong in the post). it will be super fishy if he went down 4 levels or so, even more, to promote an entry level employee who is 25 too, to a position that would make her his direct report. this is what she is asking in return of her silence. this or that he divorces me. > > whatashame_13 >> Do you have kids? If no? And since anw your marriage is over, just tell HR and comoany about their affair and ruin both of their careers. It doesnt seem he s sorry anw >> >> OOP >>> no, we don't. we got married in our mid 20s and we had no support or help. We didn't want to bring kids in a financially unstable home so we postponed it. But then he got busy with his career, studies, all our money went into buying a house. and then when we could have afforded them, even 5 of them if we wanted, he said its a bit too late for him. i guess we just got used to a lifestyle without children. i would have wanted kids but i just played along. well he is going to be a father now

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whatashame_13 > What if you tell HR about their affair, you can ruin both of their careers!! Anw, you are nit gonna get anything from him bcz you already work and you get what you get from the divorce, but dont let them live the life, even his AP is a slut, she knew what she did. Ruin both!! Is he sorry?? Did he try to apologize? Did he tell you he loves you? How long their affair has been going? What are his plans? > > OOP >> he said he loves me, didn't apologise. he said it wasn't really his fault and can explain. and I was like: ok, go on, explain. and he didn't know what to say, he just repeated it wasn't his fault >> >> StealthModeThoughts >>> Let’s say you were going to forgive him. You can’t even do that when the person who did wrong takes ZERO responsibility. He slept with another woman, multiple times I’m sure. I highly doubt that he did this once and she got pregnant.
>>> He’s saying it’s not his fault. Still? There’s no way for reconciliation when he can’t even hold his hands up and take any responsibility. It’s disgusting.
>>> He wants you to do what you’ve been doing your whole relationship. Just go along with what he leads. Stop doing that. Please get some strength and some love for yourself and LEAVE. There is a person out there who’d NEVER EVER do this to you, they’d never ever consider it. >>> >>> OOP >>>> no, he wants to divorce me and marry her. he openly told me this is what it takes for her to resign. if she resigns and then he marries her, he can get away with it. very well, lets see how that goes and how much she will love her own child. poor baby

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mocha-macaron > If you can, get copies of all the proof. Cause this divorce could get messy. > > OOP >> ive got plenty. she was so so so dirty in the texts. he wasn't but he liked getting them. she was acting like a sub kitten >> >> mocha-macaron >>> There you go then. Just have to take that to a lawyer and explain that he also tried to be unlawful with how he was getting rid of her. She could do some serious damage if he didn’t go through the correct HR proceedings. You might be in the USA but in the UK it’s illegal to do what he did to an employee >>> >>> OOP >>>> we are in Europe but not UK. anyway he does want a divorce. he kinda made his choice. he will not get her into a better position but will divorce me, as she asked him to, so just she shuts up. she will leave the company and then he will probably marry her. ok, good luck to being married to a 25. and she obviously played a role. this is not a submissive trad wife, I can bet my money on that. she is manipulative

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Brief_Hippo5187 > Take him for as much as you can. She baby trapped him. How long was the affair? > > OOP >> he said just 3 months and swore to me they never even met outside the offices. he never took her anywhere and showed me his transactions >> >> False-Spend8335 >>> EW! That’s how he behaves at work? He said himself that she’s a subordinate he shouldn’t be interacting with! One of them is very predatory I think! And it explains the lack of contraception, I don’t think many people keep it in their desk drawer! Ew! So sorry OP. >>> >>> Let’s hope your future is fabulous and you continue to outshine him in every way! And let’s hope he ends up being a stay at home father to a child he didn’t want, with a shrew of a wife. A good outcome for 2 narcissists! >>> >>> OOP >>>> yes, he said all of it happened in his office. he said it trying to make it sound like he didn't care for her because he didn't pay for hotels but it actually made it worse. like walking cliche. on his desk. but I think it was all intentional. if she followed the whole adult scenario with the desk, under the desk and so on, she made him believe he is living out the best fantasy >> >> kattykaty1988 >>> So they did it at work? >>> >>> OOP >>>> yes, he said all of it happened in his office >> >> New_Nobody9492 >>> Do you really believe they just fucked all over the office? >>> >>> OOP >>>> maybe, maybe not, who cares? details. they did it somehwere

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ReineLeNoire > NAL > > If she reports directly to your scoundrel of a husband and a DNA test proves that child is his, she could have a very lucrative situation on her hands. > > I would be working on retaining a top divorce attorney ASAP. I would take him to the cleaners and make no concessions. I would definitely not agree to anything that helps him, like a NDA. > > Get everything you can right now. Secure your home, your present, and your future quickly. Once the story gets out, his tenure with his current company is probably over. If she pursues a lawsuit, he's done. No one will risk hiring him for a long time. > > > OOP >> she doesn't report to him. In the corporate hierarchy she is a nobody. entry level job with no real possibility of climbing the ladder. Honestly I am curious how she even got to be in the same room with him. I have been working corproate my whole life, different company of course. But I never ever even talked to the managers that are on the same level as my husband is. there are so many levels between those who are so high and the rest of us.

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#Small Update in the comments

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Think I will contact police actually. She found me on social media and messaged me to move out that house because she will move in soon. I wanted to block her but I think I would rather do this, go to police. I am so angry and hurt. he tried to stop me and said he will deal with her but no

 

COMMENTS

whatashame_13 > Contact police, contact HR, contact lawyers, contact his colleagues, and take half of the house. What did you reply? > > OOP >> nothing in the end. he said he will deal with her later and make sure she will never bother me again.

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Setting-Remote > I feel sorry for that baby, because it's not a loved, wanted child - it's a human chess piece. > > In a few years time, she will doubtless divorce him (let's face it, he's easy to divorce - he sounds like a bully), and set herself up with a 10+ years of child support payments, while she's still in her 30's and can take her pick of men who she actually likes and have had enough time to settle into a career. > > What an absolute weapon of a man. 🤦🏻‍♀️ > > OOP >> he was already violent with her, slapped and pulled her hair

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Update 2 - after 4 days (after 3 days from last post)

^(July 14, 2026)

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My husband is suddenly angry all the time and wants to fire a random woman. I found out why and my marriage is over

So I wanted to share one last upate. I moved out. We have another property and I simply couldn't stand him around me.

I decided not to report to HR. That future baby is already having more than enough issues and 2 jobless parents sounds like a nightmare. Probably this will happen anyway but I will not be the cause of it.

As for him he is already getting his karma. I told him I will not report him so he needs to make sure she will not either. She wants him to marry her and he said he will and he told me (it seems I am still the person he cries to and complains to) that she also wants him to pay for her mother' medical bills (she was raised in the system but it seems she does have a family after all, they are just poor). I asked him why he did this to me. and he said she did stuff I didn't and he wouldn't have asked me to do them either

he was already vioIent with her.

EDIT: I deleted the part about her karma. I didn't mean it she deserves it, never I would say such thing but I admit it came off that way. I apologise and removed that part

 

COMMENTS

mydaycake > Report the violence. Your soon to be ex will end up killing her > > ActiveWaste3444 >> agreed and honestly op is enabling this by letting him still trauma dump on her. block him. shes keeping his secrets while he beats another woman. its sick. >> >> OOP >>> no, I will not do that. This woman was mocking me in texts for being "flat chested" and a prude and other things. I already feel I did enough by thinking of the baby and not reporting him to HR to lose his job. that baby will need a father with money. >>> >>> she can report him if she wants, it looks like she has full control over the whole thing >> >> OOP >>> yeah he was an affair baby too. father didn't care for him because wife forgave him (he was around my husband's age) and his mother was 20 or something. she also didn't care and his grandma raised him with very little money. and he suffered a lot of shame and wanted to prove to everyone he is worthy

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MacaronFalse1019 > Stop listening to his complaints and cries. Stop being his sounding board. Let him cry to someone else. Go to therapy. Get some hobbies. Keep conversations with him short and blunt. Travel, live your life. > > OOP >> I don't say that I am listening to him regularly. But before I moved I wanted to know why he did it. Because it crossed my mind I didn't really ask him. and it hurt me so much that he said she did things he liked and I didn't do them and he never asked me to because ... and didn't continue. IDK what was he talking about but i can guess. and now he is at her mercy and will be paying for her and her mothers bills > >> I am really worried for the baby. I have my own life story and its a bit triggering even though it wasn't me in this position but.. He said he will marry her and take care of that baby. i told him its not that baby, its your baby. now I can only hope he will be a present father as he suffered his whole life that himself was an affair child. but if a miracle happens and he will be able to keep his job even if hr finds out... maybe he will leave her. and i hope not the child >> >> so apparently he was chok..ng her and spit.. ing in her face. these were the things I didn't do and he didn't ask me to. However someoene said he must have been violent with me. No, he was never violent with me. not once >> >> i wonder though how will be communicate with his future mother in law and that weird family. he always looked down on people, as I said never got close to those beneath him on the corporate food chain so it will be a big change for him. hopefuly he will be at least a good father >> >> and for those pushing me to report him, no I will not and this is my final decision, please respect that. i dont need to ruin his life, he did it himself for the rest of his days if he marries her. he will maybe keep his job, maybe climb even higher but will be financially supporting his wife, her family and their baby. he will probably be even worse at work and will no one to vent to. family dinners will be interesting... >> >> ABWhiteRabbit >>> You already know that he’s abusing her, and she’s only with him for his money. She’s more likely to leave him if he loses his job and find someone who doesn’t hit her. It’ll only get worse after the baby is born. And if he’s hitting her now, he may even end up killing her and/or the baby. And don’t say, “He wouldn’t do that” because the statistics of DV say otherwise, and you yourself were surprised that he was violent towards her. If you actually want to ensure that baby grows up happy and healthy, you’d report him to HR AND the authorities. Otherwise, that child is either going to wind up with a dead mother and/or an all around broken home life due to an emotionally absent and abusive father and a mother they see getting slapped around all the time. >>> >>> OOP >>>> I do not owe her anything just because she is a woman. She body shamed me for not having big breasts as she has, for being a prude, a loser and much more. And anyway I didn't witness anything. so I just go to police and say: you know, husband showed me some texts between him and his mistress in which she told him how she has evidence of him slappin her. please investigate. it doesn't work like that. at least not here, in eastern europe.

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fuck_peeps_not_sheep > 1/3 of spouses murdered are pregnant women - report him to keep her safe ffs > > OOP >> I havne't seen any of it. Just a text in which she was sending laughing emojis that she has photos of his finger prints on her cheek after he hit her and would mock him for reporting him.

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Professional_Dust377 > How long were you married? Do you have any children with him? And is he a white man? He could be dangerous. > > OOP >> he is a white man but why it is relevant >> >> Professional_Dust377 >>> They believe they are apex. He might be the type to end lives. Get protection >>> >>> OOP >>>> he is an arrogant corporate nutcase who is constantly power tripping. that is far from being a murde..rer though

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Fluffy_North8934 > So he goes unpunished while she got fired? > > OOP >> she will not get fired. she will resign. this is basically their deal. she resigns, keeps quiet and he marries her

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th3_h0rror_qu33n > Pardon, he was violent with her?? I know you've been slighted, and this single reddit post is all the information I have on the situation, but if he's being violent with another woman, you have every right to report him. Another human beings safety is at stake and he wants to MARRY her. > > OOP >> I dont care about her, sorry. all i can and i am willing to do is to not report him to HR, so he doesn't lose his job and that baby to have a father without an income. i do not owe anything to a woman who just mocked me in texts and body shamed me

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Sweetdefaction96 > I’m so sorry this happened to you but I am so excited for how much he is going to hate his life and regret this for the restttt of his existence > > OOP >> i just hope he will be a father for that baby

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NEW UPDATE

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Update 3 - after 10 days (after 6 days from last post)

^(July 20, 2026)

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My husband is suddenly angry all the time and wants to fire a random employee. I found out why. my marriage is over

I really hope this last post is all right. Today he spoke to HR himself (or at least this is what he told me he is going to do, so I think he did, I will for sure not ask him for an update). he is in good relations with the HR lady so he hopes he will be able to keep his job.

I just want to post this because even though we are all strangers it actually did hurt me to see how many are calling me names and even saying I would be to blame if he does something to her. Sorry, but telling the cops: i saw some texts on my husband's phone, texts with his mistres in which she said she will rrport him for slappin her is Not evidence.

I did report her myself for the threats she sent me via texts and police didn't do a thing. husband said he will deal with herself himself and she will stop.

I already talked to a lawyer about the divorce so this is also a priority for me. I don't want to see anyone suffer but trust me, its not a top on my list to try to save the woman who actually blakmails him into marrying her. They will get married as soon as we get divorced. my husband is many things but he is responsible and will take care of his baby. its his problem how that marriage will look like.

Now I consider to start therapy but maybe its too early? what should I do? should I wait?

 

COMMENTS

KaoJin-Wo > I am so glad you posted an update. I hope you post more, like after HR, about mopping the floor with him during divorce, and the good things you, like restarting your life, and therapy. > > I really am sorry you’ve been having to go through this. I cannot believe he still whines about his blackmailing side piece to you. That is inexcusable. You need to cut that off, unless you are recording him talking or saving the emails/texts for evidence in court. I would have moved out too, and demanded he buy you out for your half of the house. And furnishings. And what not. Most people would’ve kept the house and made him move out. Just to piss them off and save the trouble of moving. Both are valid. As long as you’re getting rid of this user-loser, it’s all good. > > Now, start fixing yourself, going to therapy, etc. Take your time finding a new place. Maybe local. Maybe move DaR away for a fresh start. Whatever works best for you. Just focus on yourself and healing. I look forward to the next update. Good luck!!! > > OOP >> i have no idea if he talked to HR or not. but he said he will marry her if she wants that and show her how much she actually doesn't want to be married to him >> >> ChanceReason6617 >>> Is he mentally ill? Do you see any psychological changes, apart from cheating, in him? This is not the normal thinking of a healthy person. >>> >>> P.S. it's a perfectly legitimate question, no attempt at provocation. >>> >>> OOP >>>> no, just cheating. but he wants to get married to her as a punishment for her >> >> Crazy_Equivalent_806 >>> This sounds like a threat. How precisely does he plan to “show her”. Also if it’s not a threat to cause mental or physical harm it sounds pretty dumb. If they get divorced because it’s “uncomfortable” for her, is t he just going to end up paying more if she hires a half decent lawyer? He sounds like a fool. >>> >>> OOP >>>> it is a threat yeah. he openly told me this, that she will show her she doesn't actually want it but will need to deal with consequences

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NEW UPDATE

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Final Update - after 20 days (after 10 days from last post)

^(July 30, 2026)

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My 43F husband 45M is suddenly angry all the time and wants to fire a random employee 25F. I found out why. this marriage is over. Updt

she is 25, not 24. that was my misunderstanding

So he wasn't fired after all. He is facing a salary cut of about 20% for the next year. he being in the top executive level is valuable for the company. HR tried to make her quit because they cannot fire a pregnant woman but ended up just moving her to another location in the same area. So her local boss will be someone else but still my soon to be ex husband is the top boss. So her boss's boss.

He tried to make me forgive him, promised he will never do it again but no, this is not something I can forgive. We have been together our whole adult life more or less. Maybe I could have (maybe) get over cheating, but a baby is for life. He gave me a few days to decide what I want to do. He is extremely angry, frustrated, irritated, volatile and all that. I didn't even say I need time to think about it. Just no. I don't want you back. I still love him but will not take him back.

I no longer live in the same house with him. He said he will marry her. Treats her horribly. I heard him talking to her over the phone, but if she insists so much she wants to marry a man who will never love her, so be it

 

COMMENTS

observefirst13 > She clearly doesn't give a shit if he loves her and just wants him for his money. What a psychopath to force a man who despises you for money. He's an idiot as well. Why tf should he marry her? Has he told you his reasoning? It makes no fuckin sense if he really does hate her. > > I hope you cut him off and have stopped being his emotional support. He doesn't deserve any part of you. Let him live with what he chose. > > OOP >> I addressed this in my previous update: he said he wants to show her she doesn't want to be married to him actually

 

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This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.

Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.

I was working at a call center and I was getting treated like shit by my boss

i went into hr and said I was an m-f trans woman and i eas being targeted

it worked, my boss backed off and I was immediately given promotions and bonuses

I stoped this after Trump got elected because now no one cares about trans anymore

I would lie and do it again if I felt it would help me

Reposting because the original BestofRedditorUpdates thread has been deleted.

I am not OP. Originally post by u/LopsidedBumblebee693 in r/TrueOffMyChest

I am not the original poster of this compilation thread. This was originally posted by u/Strange-Credit2038 (now deleted).

Reminder - Do not comment on linked posts!

trigger warnings: >!domestic violence, infidelity (not in OOP's relationship)!<

mood spoilers: >!happy!!<

Original: I am marrying someone I don't love - Wed, Sep 07, 2022

I grew up in an abusive home and saw my mother allow the men in her life walk all over her. I watched her try to teach those same values to me and my brother by not making him do any chores but putting all the responsibilities of chores and cooking on me. My brother was giving choices and opportunities I was not and he was given freedom I wasn't. So I decided early on I would never be like her.

I met my fiance when I was 20. I wasn't looking for a relationship but he pursued me and I was broke. He is 5 years older than me and earns very good money. By the time he was 25 he already owned his own house which in my materialistic heart was the deciding factor that led me to give in and start dating him. I have never been in love with him but it's not like I don't like him. He is sweet, caring, we discuss everything and we are always laughing. He makes me dinner every night and massages my wrist when it plays up. We go on date nights once a week and holidays once a year and we love our dogs so much he looks so handsome when he plays with them I could watch them for hours.

I see our relationship as more of a partnership. I also have come a long way in the 6 years we have been dating and I am not so broke. My conditions for marriage have always been never marry for love and never marry without a secure way out. I have both those conditions, I'm happy, I'm ready to have a family and maybe a few more dogs.

I don't know if my fiance knows if I love him or not and I will never tell him i don't.

Update was added to the original post the next day

Edit: Jesus christ you guys! Fine I'll go to therapy! You've convinced me I have no clue what I am talking about. I've never been more confused about my feelings in my life. Still getting married though and no I won't leave him 😁

Update number 2: UGH YOU GUYS! You have me so caught up in my feelings I told him I loved him for the first time AND HE CRIED AND THEN I CRIED AND WE BOTH CRIED AND I THINK THE DOGS CRIED AND YEAH HE WONT STOP SAYING THAT HE LOVES ME AND IM HUNGRY I JUST WANT BURRITOS NOW

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Important comment by OOP:

OOP: When my mum described love it was like a sick yearning that made her willing to do everything that person wanted even if it was bad. She said if my dad told her to jump off a cliff she would no hesitation basically. It sounded absolutely disgusting like she was brainwashed

Other relevant comments and OOP's responses as they begin to process:

>What does love mean to you?

>Because it sounds like love.

>Love is the admiration of the virtues you have in your partner, and a commitment to be better people in partnership than you would have alone. Love is a choice.

>Are you talking about infatuation/puppy-dog Love? That rarely lasts more than a year... and is very biologically/physiologically based. Some people can ride that high for a long time, others it ends in like a month. It's not something to build a life on.

OOP: It's hard to describe my love because it isn't a Hollywood movie love or a puppy love so I will just explain my mother's story. Her and my dad fell in love instantly. They became so obsessed with each other whenever they were apart they felt sick. Their friends around them would do everything to avoid them separating because apparently it was so depressing to see them so sad it brought down everyone around thems mood. So they got married quick and their love didn't fade but it became abusive fast. My dad wasn't home as much, he cheated and he got physical with my mother. They tried to seperatr multiple times but when they did both of them would fall in to a deep depression where neither would eat or so anything both of them would lose their jobs at the time and me and my brother would be left neglected because no one was looking after us they would both just be in their beds at their houses until they got back together and the cycle continued. Now they have accepted this is "their" love and my mother runs classes on how to be a submissive wife because being submissive is how to keep your husband happy according to Jesus or whoever. That's what I think love is

Then after a now deleted comment from another user, OOP clarifies:

??? It isn't what I want at all. This is the opposite of what I want and the reason I have never wanted to love anyone. I'm just explaining what I have been shown to be love so people can understand what I know love to be.

>A marriage should be a partnership. That and a willingness to communicate with each other will allow you to go far.

OOP: Communication has always been a big thing for me. I have always wanted someone who is 100% comfortable expressing how they feel with each other. When we first started dating I would often accuse him of cheating or lying when he wasn't just because I was scared and in my head thinking the worst. But instead of ever shouting or anything he sat me down and we talking it out. He told me what I was doing and how it was making him feel and it made me reflect on why I was actually doing it. He reassured me and said he wasn't angry and I was so upset and apologetic. And I never did it again 😁 that moment was one of the big moments I was like "I'm going to marry this man"

>I feel bad for your future husband for real. Please let him know and do not marry him. You are ruining his chance of finding someone who will love him wholeheartedly.

OOP: Nope

>I don't think she loves him though. OP only cares about her bf houses and money. You guys are gaslighting her into thinking that she may love him. It's not fair for her boyfriend to marry someone who will never love him no matter what. I feel bad for her future husband. This is seriously fked up.

OOP: I don't think I ever said that is the only reason I am attracted to him. I said it's what made me give in and start dating him 6 years ago but since then I've made strides in my career and earn more than enough to live comfortably on my own. Why would I stay with him if all I needed was cash and a house? I own my own home bought with my own money in my own name outside of our relationship. Stability, partnership, a healthy happy home is what keeps me here. He is what keeps me here. If he lost his job tomorrow I wouldn't leave I'd probably talk about him being a stay at home dad because how absolutely amazing would that be?! It's not just money it's more about just us I guess.

Then, after OOP's updates

>You lurrrrrve him… hope you got your burritos.

OOP: I don't think I have ever eaten a more delicious cali burrito with pulled pork and extra fries in my life tbh

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REMINDER: I am not the original poster!