u/3rdthrow

I have estranged from my DNA Donors. FINALLY! Praise God, Dobey is free!

My family of origin is heavily enmeshed. It was hard to understand what was going on because it was dysfunction stacked on dysfunction.

My sibling wont leave because of the enmeshment. This is important.

I cannot get into a relationship with my sibling, because they wont allow a relationship with themselves, without our abusive parents.

But the enmeshment doesnt let them see that.

I also suspect that my sibling wants to move in with me and have me take care of them for the rest of their lives. That is why they are calling now.

The enmeshment doesnt let them see, why I wouldnt want to do that.

After contacting my friend, they just sent the first text message in 6 months.

I feel so guilty and obligated over leaving them on read. And so furious they contacted my friend, before even sending a text message.

I am in a witness protection program for DV because my parents are so violent.

What should I do?

What are your thoughts?

I am wondering how liquid treasury bonds are, because I am under the impression, that they are not very liquid and take decades to "mature".

Are there such things as short-term treasury bonds, and if so, what is the timeline until they "mature"?

Does the interest rate go up and down over time? Or is the interest rate locked in, when you buy the bond?

So LSG, Lingering Lust, and now KOD. Infold really put all the banners on top of each other.

What are your thoughts?

Society does not seem to comprehend people just saying "No".

Society keeps moral blackmailing me saying that I owe it something, while saying that Society doesnt owe me anything.

I say that I owe Society noncriminal behavior and to pay my bills. That is it.

I am called "selfish", "arrogant" and "mentally ill" but territorial may be a better term.

Work: Why didnt you answer your phone?

Me: Because I am not paid to be on-call, when that changes you can tell me to answer my phone on my day off.

Society and my family: You *cannot* live alone, you need to share your home/space with your spouse and kids. You need to get married to be able to afford anything.

Me: Guess Im not having a spouse and kids. I also went into a job field where I can afford things on my own.

Society: You should be grovelling to your employer and be very scared of losing your job.

Work: Would you please stop singing, "When you've got the money, honey, I've got the time-and when you have no more money, I have no more time."

Me: Consider yourself lucky, my last workplace got to hear "If I was a rich man, I'd yibba dibba all day long".

Also me: I consider myself a mercenary for hire, and if one of us stops liking the contract. I will go out and get a new contract. I work for me, I consult for my workplace.

My enmeshed parents: We had you so that you could take care of us our entire lives.

Me: Considering I've gone NC. I dont think you guys are very good at placing bets.

Society: What will people think?!

Me: You see that field over there? That is the field where I grow the flips that I give about what other people think. Behold! *It's barreness*.

Society designs childhood, so that you *must* make people like you to survive. In adulthood I designed my life so that I didnt need people to like me to survive.

There is always this Societal message of needing to give things up, pieces of yourself,to be in relationships with other people.

And I am just not interested.

I feel bad for the people who want to be in codependent relationships.

But I prefer the massive amount of self responsibilty that comes with being truly free.

If other people wish to seek a Just Master, that should have nothing to do with me.

But people shouldnt go around thinking that I want a Master, just because they do.

What are your thoughts?

So I am childfree. I think that outside of trauma, parenthood is one of the hardest things that a human being could ever face.

Being a parent is a really hard job.

I think Society purposefully makes Motherhood extremely punishing for Mothers, because every Woman=Mother, so punishing Mothers is a way to punish Women.

This Mother's Day has been insane. I have seen people vehemently claim that they should be celebrated because they are "Dog Moms".

No. Just No.

The parent-child bond is sacred.

I have a straight from garden kitchen setup.

I had someone insist that I was a "Plant Mom" and I thought that very awkward considering that I eat my "children".

I would prefer Tiny Farmer.

What are your thoughts?

Some Redditors have told me that I basically joined during a golden age of Reddit. That Reddit had been terrible previously and is again becoming terrible.

They tell me that my experience with Reddit, was perfect timing on a window of "Reddit being good."

I miss those days terribly. It is why I keep coming back hoping to recapture the old days. But all I get is new bans for making a post in Subreddit A which gets me banned from Subreddits B-Z.

Also I am certain that I have been banned to "curate" the tone of subreddits, despite doing nothing wrong.

I miss when being polite was enough.

What are your thoughts?

I would like to try my hand at buying individual stocks. Is there anything that I should know about, before starting?

I am already CoastFire, with index funds.

These will be new funds added, I am not taking any money away from the index funds.

It really is about taking away space, time, and rest from Women. Even women's hobbies must be productive. Cooking, cleaning, a woman must always be producing something.

I remember back when I was dating, one of my friends told me to test my boyfriends by resting in front of them. If a boyfriend was uncomfortable or snarky about me resting "throw that one back" ( a reference to "there are plenty of fish in the Ocean").

What are your thoughts?

Like most, I didnt care about Vegans. Everyone should eat what they want, though I truly believe that humans should eat both plants and meat.

It wasnt my right, to tell someone what to eat. A fact that is *completely lost* on Vegans.

Ive had Vegans say that I am angry because I know they are right.

No, I am angry because someone insufferable has blocked me out of a subreddit, that has nothing to do with Vegans.

What are your thoughts?

I love my credit union, I really do, but they fall flat on their face when it comes to transferring funds. I am so frustrated.

It takes 3 days for an electronic transfer to be made from my Credit Union bank account to my Fidelity bank account.

My Fidelity bank account has already been verified by my Credit Union and has a history of having money transferred into it.

Fraud is not a likely occurance transferring money between two accounts, that the Credit Union has vertified that I own.

We are too technologically advanced to justify not transferring money immediately between same owner accounts.

What are your thoughts?

(For additional information: My Credit Union is good with getting reoccuring Billpay out on an exact date rather than a range and they pay me 5% interest on up to 20k in my account, if I use my bankcard 16 times in a month.

I heard Fidelity struggles with Billpay, but is excellent with everything else. I am about to move too far away to use the Credit Union, so I started the Fidelity account.)

I have a 2016 Toyota Camry, and it appears to think that it is driving, after being parked, taking the keys out, and sitting for about 5 mins.

So when I open the doors, it starts blaring an alarm, because the car thinks a door is being opened while it is being driven.

How do I fix this?

Not too long ago I had discussion with my girlfriends about an article that said that the majority of female friendship groups contained more women who had been sexual harrassed or assaulted than women who had not had those experiences.

I had the discussion with my friends and it turned out that most of my female friends had been sexual harrassed. Most of us, enough times that we had lost count. I didnt ask about SA for obvious reasons.

This online group was mostly men who were upset that they were being avoided, that women were treating them like potential threats, and refusing to trust them.

One guy even said, "I dont understand why am I being punished for what some other man did?"

And that is when it hit me-they think it is 1-2 other guys. That this is rare, rather than a daily reality for women.

They dont understand that this is a systemic issue that is now effecting them.

It is not a part of their reality so they simply arent thinking about it.

What are your thoughts?

Every time I go out to buy clothing or food, sales tax tends to be about $3-$5.

I literally avoid shopping to avoid paying sales tax. The taxes are simply too high, and I dont feel that I get enough in return for them.

My city also decided that it would be "cute" to put a special tax on any store that had a "priority location" which is legal speak for being on a main road, compared to a back road.

We often only have one of a specific store. So there is no second store location on a back road. Pay the priority tax or dont shop at that store.

I have turned my kitchen into a from garden/from scratch kitchen.

It is not yet worth it to make my own fabric.

I refuse to pay anymore taxes than those I cannot avoid.

Ironically, I would probably love paying taxes if I thought they would be used to take care of me.

What are your thoughts?

I am also wondering what culture changes have to take place to move a Society from low trust to high trust.

I swear I am not the Scapegoat. I grew up with my DNA Donors shoehorning into conversations that they were going to pay for my college. Less than 90 days before I left, they dropped the bomb that they had no intention of paying for college.

The reason for that? Simple. Just straight sabatoge.

Thankfully, I knew what kind of people that they were and had gotten a full ride scholarship.

The dynamic in my family is super weird.

My DNA Donors had children, so that their children could be their parents.

They do not have a single Able bodied child.

My siblings were considered unsuitable, because they didnt take care of my DNA Donors well enough.

I "took care" of my DNA Donors to protect my younger sibling because I thought that with their disability, causing them to struggle through school, that if my DNA Donors parentified and spousified them, that they would fail out of school. Failing out of school would have ruined their life.

In the "old as time" paradox, my sibling and I no longer have a relationship, because "it wasnt that bad (for them).

I protected them from the worst of my DNA Donor, and my sibling now believes that I deserved the abuse.

Going NC with my DNA Donors has been the most loving gift that I have ever given my younger sibling, because predictably my DNA Donors have turned on them, now that I am gone.

Originally, though my DNA Donors had a like/hate relationship with my siblings.

My DNA Donors like the validation of having other people around who were similar to themselves.

My DNA Donors hated how my siblings were also selfish, used people, and thought only of themselves, because that made my siblings competition.

It is very hard to use people, when you are in a group of people who use people, instead of people who are socially normal.

Multiple human blackholes competing to suck all the resources into themselves.

So my DNA Donors decided to help my siblings out of the house as much as possible. They desparately wanted my siblings to move out. They needed my siblings to get out of their house.

I on the other hand was supposed to remain in the house as my DNA Donors servant until they passed. Then I could live whatever life I had left.

I was useful, and useful people, get used.

My DNA Donors are affluent and an insane amount of money has been spent on trying to get my siblings out of the house.

Each sibling has had four cars purchased for them, and was taught to drive at 16.

My DNA Donors bought me a car, because my male DNA Donor bragged/lied about buying me a car as a college graduation gift. When my Aunts and Uncles requested to see it-there was no car. They ripped into my male DNA Donor, so he bought me a car, screaming about how I made him look bad.

Each sibling got four cars because they keep destroying the cars. So they only have one at a time and usually destroy it by refusing to repair it, and then keep driving until they get stranded.

For reasons, that defy logic, my DNA Donors buy new cars instead of dropping new engines in these cars.

My DNA Donors encourage my siblings to date, trying to push them into marriages. While I was forbidden from dating. I dated anyways and hid it from them.

My DNA Donors dropped an eye watering 1.5 million dollars on my siblings' education, for private school that included college.

I did go to private school for a few years, but most of my education was spent in public schools.

My older sibling spent 1 year in college and dropped out, refusing to go back. My younger sibling has spent *15 years* in college and has gone to 6 different colleges that I know of.

Younger sibling has an Associate degree in General studies.

Which is the degree you get that is *technically* not underwater basket weaving.

They have accomplished this horrifying feat, by continually switching colleges and not having their credits transfer. After 8 years, credits also being expiring, for many colleges.

That is insane.

It is so wonderful to not have to worry about taking care of my DNA Donors, in their old age.

What are your thoughts?

A righteous soul is vexed by evil.

How do you cope with being vexed by evil?

I firmly believe that just tailoring your subs to have an enjoyable time on Reddit, is nonsense advice, that doesnt work.

It *should* work, but it doesnt.

I use Reddit as a support platform, and therefore have joined support subreddits.

Reddit is a completely different place than it was 4 years ago.

My issue is that Mods dont do anything to keep trolls from attacking people in the support subreddits.

I am watching the numbers of joined and active members in these subs, plunge.

On one hand no one wants to open up about painful topics and be attacked. On the other hand, no one wants to pour their heart into a post and have no responses, because there are now so few active users.

The trolls have made Reddit unuseable for me.

What are your thoughts?

I have a chronic illness that leads me to have a lot of ear infections.

I hired a Hybrid doctor-which is a combo of a Direct Care Doctor and a Conceirge Doctor.

I would prefer a straight Conceirge Doctor, but there isnt one in my area.

None of this is covered by insurance. I pay a monthly retainer regardless of whether I see the Doctor or not. I say all this to point out that this is an expensive, premimum service.

I do have extremely nice insurance that covers things like testing.

So, I am paying a lot of money-to have this Doctor on retainer, on top of having a "cadillac" insurance plan.

I went to go see an ENT for my ear infection. He prescribed a medication that isnt prescribed anymore because it causes hearing loss.

I asked my Doctor to prescribe a different medication that I had in mind. My Doctor refused-appealing to the authority of the ENT.

In my mind-appeals to authorities are done when one is unable to have facts back them up.

This was done over the phone. So I am going in on Monday to see if my Doctor physically looks at my ears, and still refuses to accept my "No" as a patient. Unless the Doctor prescribes the typical first line of treatment medication, they are fired.

I hate having to find a new Doctor. I truly hate how limited my options are. And where do Doctors think they have the right to refuse a patient's "No".

What are your thoughts on the matter?

Insane people will always demand insane things.

My parents believe that they own me, and by extension that they own all my Worldly goods.

They have demanded that I make them my heirs. Yes, that is spooky. They have demanded to have free use of my car. They have demanded access to my paychecks, where they would give me an "allowance" out of my own pay.

They have demanded that I quit my job and move back in with them to "take care of them in their old age". Both were abled bodied at the time and still working.

Completely delusional.

I have since gone No Contact.

I feel like you guys are the only ones who understand how crazy our parents actually are.

What are your thoughts on the matter?

I am hiding my disability at work, because if anyone knew that I was disabled, they would be on me like white on rice. Illegal? Yes. Now prove that it happened...

I can self accomodate for my job, but my CEO wants to hold a big event, with myself and three other coworkers as the guests of honor, for our years of hard work.

I cannot accomodate for the event.

I cannot figure a way to get out of it.

I desparately need prayer that God makes a way.

What are your thoughts?