u/ApprehensiveRough823

(repost because the previous post got removed for title issues)
Hello! I hope this is a good sub to post this but I need help and input on how to stop feeling (and being) racist towards people of Roma ethnicity. (I am really sorry if this post is hurtful to anyone, I am simply trying to stop my anti-Roma discrimiation)

I would generally consider myself an inclusive person, and I have very good friends of different races and ethnicities. I have not once looked down on anyone who is different than me based on race, but I feel myself doing this with Roma people and I hate it. I do not want to feel like this, especially since I am well-documented on Roma history and the socio-political and socio-cultural contexts that Roma people have to live in - contexts in which they are discriminated and oppressed based on their race.

However...

I come from a country with high numbers of Roma people and with a history of Roma slavery - so racism is highly normalized because of this. Roma people have been always considered to be like this and like that (i really dont want to mention it because it is really hurtful) and have had fingers pointed at them constantly. Most of the people in my country are racist towards Roma people, and I grew up surrounded by these opinions. The ones that are most prominent in my head is that they are loud, violent/aggressive and that they steal.

So whenever i would see a group of Roma people, I would try to avoid them and not interact.

Now my mom and I are looking to buy some land and many villages in the area where we want to buy the land have big populations of Roma people. My mom immediately crossed out some villages. Now that we found this one piece of land, when she went to see it, she said that the house in front of us looks like a house belonging to a Roma family, and that she wouldn't buy land there. (Growing up she had some bad experiences with them and of course she is very racist and also calls them the G word).

Going through this experience of buying land made me realize how internalized the racism is for me, even though I considered myself very inclusive of them - whenever people talked down on them i tried explaining the history and why certain things are the way they are, why they are "poorer" than us because of social exclusion, systemic marginalization and discriminalization etc.

Yet, i have the feelings mentioned above. I do not feel this if it is one or two people, but when they are in larger communities/groups i do. I feel very guilty and disappointed with myself that i do not know how to change this. The same behaviors described above can be seen in any other person in my country who is not of Roma ethnicity. They can also be like this and like that and even worse, but of course these cases are not that talked about or mediatized.

It is more likely that a piece of news will say "a Roma person/group did this" than "a WHITE person did this"...

What can I do? How do i demount these ideas? I feel like i am aware of the things causing them, but not sure how to change my attitude.

TLDR: I have racist ideas about Roma people, even though I am aware of them and their roots. How do I stop feeling and acting like this?

Sorry about the spoiler tag? i was asked to add a tag before posting.

Hello! I hope this is a good sub to post this but I need help and input on how to stop feeling (and being) racist towards people of Roma ethnicity. (I am really sorry if this post is hurtful to anyone, I am simply trying to stop my anti-Roma discrimiation)

I would generally consider myself an inclusive person, and I have very good friends of different races and ethnicities. I have not once looked down on anyone who is different than me based on race, but I feel myself doing this with Roma people and I hate it. I do not want to feel like this, especially since I am well-documented on Roma history and the socio-political and socio-cultural contexts that Roma people have to live in - contexts in which they are discriminated and oppressed based on their race.

However...

I come from a country with high numbers of Roma people and with a history of Roma slavery - so racism is highly normalized because of this. Roma people have been always considered to be like this and like that (i really dont want to mention it because it is really hurtful) and have had fingers pointed at them constantly. Most of the people in my country are racist towards Roma people, and I grew up surrounded by these opinions. The ones that are most prominent in my head is that they are loud, violent/aggressive and that they steal.

So whenever i would see a group of Roma people, I would try to avoid them and not interact.

Now my mom and I are looking to buy some land and many villages in the area where we want to buy the land have big populations of Roma people. My mom immediately crossed out some villages. Now that we found this one piece of land, when she went to see it, she said that the house in front of us looks like a house belonging to a Roma family, and that she wouldn't buy land there. (Growing up she had some bad experiences with them and of course she is very racist and also calls them the G word).

Going through this experience of buying land made me realize how internalized the racism is for me, even though I considered myself very inclusive of them - whenever people talked down on them i tried explaining the history and why certain things are the way they are, why they are "poorer" than us because of social exclusion, systemic marginalization and discriminalization etc.

Yet, i have the feelings mentioned above. I do not feel this if it is one or two people, but when they are in larger communities/groups i do. I feel very guilty and disappointed with myself that i do not know how to change this. The same behaviors described above can be seen in any other person in my country who is not of Roma ethnicity. They can also be like this and like that and even worse, but of course these cases are not that talked about or mediatized.

It is more likely that a piece of news will say "a Roma person/group did this" than "a WHITE person did this"...

What can I do? How do i demount these ideas? I feel like i am aware of the things causing them, but not sure how to change my attitude.

TLDR: I have racist ideas about Roma people, even though I am aware of them and their roots. How do I stop feeling and acting like this?

Today i broke the ceiling lamp in my rental studio and i need someone to come replace it.

How much would it cost? Does anyone know? (In leeuwarden, since maybe prices differ per city/area)

EDIT: for everyone saying to do it myself: the lamp has 4 lightbulbs, it is not a singular lightbulb. the lamp also has metal bars through which the cables go. this is why i want someone to come do it.

As I am making the switch to vegan products, and I am runnning out of my conditioner, i am looking for a vegan one.

So far i have been using the loreal dream long one, mainly because i like the smell.

I have natural hair, no dye, and i just need something hydrating that maintains the volume.

Any recommendations? At which store do you get it?

Locuiesc in Olanda momentan si urmeaza sa ma intorc in Romania. Aici am o cursiera si merg cam o data pe saptamana cu ea in ture de 30-40km. Vreau sa o aduc in Romania si sa ies si acolo in weekend, in jurul Clujului.

Cum sunt drumurile? E periculos? Care sunt rute bune de mers?

Mi se pare ca soferii sunt tot mai neatenti in ultima vreme si nu au niciun pic de respect pentru nimeni, mai ales pentru biciclisti, ori nu mai sunt eu obisnuit cu condusul in Ro. Aici nu conduc deloc pentru ca nu e nevoie...si se si respecta regulile de circulatie, deci e o cu totul alta situatie...

Buna! Am o pasiune foarte mare pentru bijuterii si simt ca ceea ce m-ar face sa ma simt implinita este sa lucrez ca bijutier.

Nu am nicio experienta in domeniu, in afara de cele 7000 de video uri vazute pe net despre cum se făuresc bijuteriile.

As vrea foarte mult sa invat cum se fac, in special inelele. Am niste bani pusi deoparte cat sa pot sa stau pe bara cateva luni cat as face ucenicie, deci nici nu ma intereseaza sa fiu platita in vreun fel, vreau doar sa invat direct de la un atelier (da stiu ca sunt cursuri dar sunt doar cateva zile si dupa pare putin degeaba daca nu ai acasa tot echipamentul sa practici - s-au poate mai degraba m-ar lua cineva ca ucenica daca am asa un curs facut?)

Are cineva informatii despre asta? Sa contactez direct ateliere sa vad ce imi spun?

Basically what the title says. I am thinking of cities/villages worth visitng, that i have not visited yet, as I would like to see more of the country.

My next on the list (not a city/village but) Terschelling island, since i live in leeuwarden.

These are the places I've visited/been to thus far. First 3 are also my top 3 and afterwards they are in no particular oder.

Maastricht

Den Haag

Utrecht

Valkenburg, Rotterdam, Groningen, Leeuwarden, Heerlen, Eindhoven, Tilburg, Gouda, Amsterdam, and some other villages in Fryslan/Limburg.

What other recommendations do you have, and what is there to do in those places?

Buna!

Pentru context, eu si prietenul (F24,M26) meu suntem impreuna de 5 ani, la distanta. Anul asta ne vom muta amandoi inapoi in romania. El are un apartament care trebuie renovat complet. In acest apartament ar urma sa ne mutam amandoi dupa ce revenim in romania si dupa ce va fi renovat (acum nu se poate locui in el)
L-am intrebat ce asteptari financiare ar avea de la mine si daca se asteapta sa contribui si eu financiar la renovarea acestui apartament (nu e pe numele lui, ci e un ap din familia lui).

Pentru mai mult context, Eu nu vin dintr-o familie cu un model bun de colaborare financiara. Cannd au divortat ai mei, taica miu a plecat cu toti banii (fiind in contul lui, dar mama ii dadea in fiecare luna sa depuna acolo pentru economiile familiei) si ne-a lasat cu curul in balta. De aceea, imi e frica sa investesc in ceva care se va duce pe apa sambetei daca ne despartim, si raman si eu cu curul in balta: fara apartament si fara banii investitit

El a zis ca nu are asteptari dar a zis ca daca investesc isi doreste sa gasim o modalitate prin care sa imi pot recupera banii (nu stiu ce variante exista pt a tine cont de asta sau asa, trebuie sa ne interesam). Spre exemplu daca platesc faianta, tinem evidenta si sa imi dea banii inapoi si poate un contract notarial care sa ateste asta (daca se poate evident).

Cu toate astea am emotii, datorita situatiei prin care a trecut mama mea si implicit eu. Chiar nu stiu cum e normal sa iti administrezi banii intr-o relatie, mai ales intr-o situatie de genul.

Noi ne dorim evident sa ramanem impreuna longterm, dar nu stii niciodata unde te duce viata, deci nu stiu cum sa procedez. Daca as contribui, evident ca ar merge mai repede renovarea decat daca plateste doar el.

Voi ce experiente aveti cu asta? Cum ati proceda?

TLDR: imi e frica sa investesc bani in renovarea apartamenului iubitului meu, in care vom locui impreuna. Ce sa fac?

Im so pissed!! I didnt realize you could put the bread disk in the computer and win a badge for it...so i just went directly and sold it to the virtual bear...i spent am hour at least collecting all the coins 😭😭😭

I had seen a video of someone selling the virtual CD so i just assumed thats what you're supposed to do...

Now i need to do it again...the worst ones are on the water tbh

I am sooo done with this app. I have been using it since it first appeared in my country in 2018. In the past 4 months or so it has been INCREDIBLY slow, i am guessing due to AI.

It takes AGES to load anything, i have to press on a song 20 times for it to play, the songs randomly stop playing after a few seconds..and i just cannot with all the AI functions...bro i just wanna listen to music.

where should i move my music? is youtube premium still worth it? i had it during covid for 3 months because they had a discount but i found out later on that i was paying two subscriptions: one for premium and one for music even though i had only gotten the premium one.

not rly considering tidal because it does not have all the podcasters i listen to on there.

Buna! Sper ca intrebarea este potrivita sub-ului, dar nu am stiu unde altundeva sa intreb. Ma gandesc sa cumpar un teren in judetul sibiu intr-un sat care are toate aceste utilitati trase (gazul il au de prin 94').

Terenul a fost dezmembrat dintr-un teren mai mare, pe care este o casa, deci e practic gradina acestei case. are acces la drum, iar gaura de apa/canalizare sunt cam la 10m de la limita gardului. Stalpul de curent e la vreo 15m, iar de gaz nu stiu exact, vecinul de vis a vis are contorul de gaz fix in fata acestui teren, deci ma gandesc ca aproape oricum.

Este prima oara cand ma confrunt cu aceasta situatie si chiar nu am pe cine altcineva sa intreb. Am intrebat oamenii in sat dar nu au stiut sa imi spuna.

Se pot trage aceste utilitati chiar daca nu urmeaza sa construiesc ceva curand acolo?

Doresc sa iau terenul mai mult pentru a avea un loc de relaxare in weekend ai poate sa pun o rulota sau o cabana de lemn micuta pe el. La construirea propriu zisa a unei case cred ca m-a gandi in vreo 10 ani :). Dar as vrea sa am un foisor in care sa fie lumina si in eventuala cabanuta sa existe loc de dus/toaleta.

Orice informatie mi-ar fi de mare folos. Multumesc.

EDIT: cine s-ar ocupa de aceste procedee si care este procesul de a racorda terenul la utilitati?

I have been looking on reddit for suggestions about cabin suitcase (carry-on) that are quite sturdy and lasting.

Unfortunately all i see are the briggs and riley and away ones. While i get that their quality is good, it is wayy outside of my budget range and I urgently need one for a trip coming up soon, as the one i had before broke (cannot buy the same one because i found out the hard way that it was too big for carryon and there are no smaller options for the brand).

I am looking for a four wheeled, soft shell carry-on that is around 70€ (lets say maxx 100€)
Ideally it would have a small pocket inside or on the outside for things like underwear.
Does anyone know any brand that has this? Thank you!

Please really do not tell me about one of those expensive brands because it is simply not something i can afford rn.