u/Character_Handle6876

i'm a genderfluuid demiboy, omnisexual, demi aro, and demi ace, idk what to do............. my mom and sister only know im trans and bi, and thats all they will know and all i'm gonna tell anyone, the rest of my family is probably not going to accept me but i've only told my mom and sister so far, the thing is they seem accepting? but my mom won't let me get T (explaining below) and my sister is outing me in a nice way?

My mom: told me i could get T if i did a gender therapist visit, i did that. then she said i had to do multiple meetings, i did that and kept doing it till the therapist even said there was nothing more to really talk about, and then she said i had to go to regular therapy, i tried to but they told me i had to actually have a reason to for insurance reasons and i didn't have anything i wanted to talk about, so i told my mom she had to give me a reason to see a therapist otherwise they won't see me and she said she would think of one and make another appointment

but its been 2 weeks and she hasn't and i feel like she is putting it off. she did say she was taken by surprise by me wanting to transition because, she didn't know when we made the first therapist appointment and the therapist told her without my consent that i might want to but that was in januray so i think she might be over it by now but she was says it still is messin with her? so yeah, i think she might just be putting off T until i'm 18 and she can't control it anymore (i'm 17, but my hips and boobs are still growing and binding is hard for me being that i'm allergic to both tape and binder materials)

My sister: is outing me because she has been talking to friends about me being trans and told her trans friend about me to help me and get info for me, i never gave her consent to do this and i told her i'm trans in private, legit said not to tell anyone, but she said she did it to both help me and because she said she needs to cope and talk about it because it effects her and told me i shouldn't complains because i need to know me being trans "effects other peoples" but the things is she didn't just say she had a trans sibling...she said my name and showed her trans friend a picture of me to ask if i passed....?

so yeah, idk if they are really as supportive as i think they are ...? idk the rest of my family would be pricks so yeah, what do i do about this? i've talked to them about this stuff and they say its my fault or that they will try to do better but do nothing in the end

so yeah, i'm trying to write a love song and need some experiences, i have never been in a relationship or anything mostly because i'm gay and there is no one gay around me :)

So, i bit ago i made a post asking what to do about my sister telling her friends i am trans, I don't know them but they are people i will probably work with at some point (i already have a job with one of her friends who knows via her), and she said it was fine to talk to them about it, because me being trans affected her and she had to talk to someone about that but i am a private person and i'm not even out to most family because their transphobic, so yeah.

do ya all this this would be fine to get her not too, if not pls give advice.

Hi (blank) 

in relation to our conversation the other week about you talking to your trans friend about me - 

I really do appreciate you trying to help me but in a way it is outing me to someone i don't know.

i know me being trans does affect you and you should talk about that but maybe you can do that with a therapist or if you must talk with friends about it, don't use any name i use and don't say i am related to you so they don't know its me.

mostly because one, i don't want a lot of people to know i'm trans and two, because a lot of your friend are people i don't know right now so it's not really safe for me in general, yes, you know your friend but i do not and they are people i could work with one day and i feel sick because i told you something privately and i didn't say you could tell anyone and now, you're outing me in a way, even though you don't mean too so it just makes me uncomfortable and i'd prefer you didn't talk about me being trans/queer with your friends, just refer to me as your brother or sibling.

I know, you're trying to give me community especially since you do have that trans friend you talked about but my experiences aren't the same as his and your community isn't mine, i'm going to find mine but they it isn't the same as yours.

would this work? if not, please tell me what to do.

As title says. i am trans and experience dysphoria and i make music and write about a lot of stuff but i can't seem to figure out how i would describe that.

to prefix this, i am a private person and don't like to share a lot of details of my life.

but i came out to my sister a year ago and idk i knew she told a few of her friends and it kinda bothered me and the otherday she was sweet and said she talked to her friend about me being trans (because her friend is trans) and that he would be glad to answer any questions i have if i wanted to text or email him, but the thing is i never asked her to do that and i really don't like that she told people i'm trans, because i'm only 17 but i pass really well and i've known i was trans for a decade, i don't need some random friend of hers advice that i didn't even want to know i'm trans especially since i am not even out to some family (other siblings and parent) because they are transphobic.

but she says i need to understand that this affects her too and so she needs to talk to someone about it and i get that so now i'm conflicted, would i be a prick if i told her not to tell her friends that especially since we are in the same sort of area for work so sometimes i have to do school or work stuff and her friends are there (she is 24) and she always talks about how she wants me to have community and such but i don't want people to know i;m trans that i did not tell, not when i can control it.

i don't want to do something because i'm reacting, i want to actually set a boundary if that is the appropriate thing to do.

so yeah, idk what to do but it perturbs me

so for reference i'm a genderfluid demiboy and i'm 5.3. i don't think i pass very well, but i do pass fairly often ig and my sister says i do but i really don't know how all of you who do it for so long (i'm only 17) do it?, like for me i'm pre T because my mom wants to wait and the rest of my family won't be great about it if they find out. and i just ...everything feels so hopeless? and there are family member i don't talk to because of it and it just breaks my heart that i'm losing my family over this, over something i can't change.

idk how trans people can be so open sometimes on social media, like for me i have a strong connection to music and its what feeds my soul and what i want to do with my life and be a musician but everything is so scary, everywhere you hear about the violence against trans people and i'm just terrified, when i go out i wear a trans pin on my bag because i want other kids who might be trans to see it because that would have helped me if i saw that but i'm still so afraid and just a month ago i had to deal with some transphobs and i live in a fairly okay city? (they weren't aggressive thankfully)

just the other week i was talking to my sister about passing and asking how she felt with me being trans, and i just almost starting crying in public (i never cry) because its all so overwhelming and passing is so hard for me, because my chest is still growing and is at the point where its really hard to get it flat just right and i'm allergic to T tape so it blisters and i have scars from it and i have asthma i believe so its hard to wear a binder at all and it gives me back pain.

idk how all of you do it, its so painful for me, though that might be dysphoria because i can't transition yet, but i found out i was trans when i was around 7/8 but i just find myself so jealous of the people who don't find out until their 20 or 30 because i hate having to feel this pain of knowing who i am and feeling broken and alone, because everything is so scary and

i just don't know how to cope with all of it. it makes me anxious and depressed and makes my ocd anxiety worse.

So Hi, idk if this is the right sub or not? so just tell me to get outta here if it isn't and tell me the right one? i'd put this in the genderfluid sub but no one comments there

but here it is.

i think i'm genderfluid but everytime i see a genderfluid person online they seem to have such fun with their gender shifts but for me this all feels like complete agony. i want to be a girl, i want to be a boy. i want to be neither

usually i want to pass as a boy but i always look like i'm 14 (i'm 17)

but i also love doing fem things and be girlish? ( like i want a body that looks like a twink but to wear a bikini)

i could go on T but i'm a singer and i love singing certain songs in their range (like into the unknown (Disney) or reflection (also disney, shut up -_-) and idk its the most pure joy i can get in my life to sing those songs, its like it makes me feel live so completely in my body, like every part is alive, and i don't want to lose that high range with T that makes me feel alive (as a person with depression, it is very hard to get these feelings) for me singing songs like into the unknown are my highest joy.

but i also feel so depressed so much because i will never look like a man, only a boy.

it feel so fucking hopeless because i just don't know how to do this?

but i can also get a slightly smaller amount of joy from songs like the other side (greatest showmen) and delusional (John Micheal Howell) or a million dreams (Greatest showmen) if i imagine singing them. (and i can sing the last one and it feels great)

its like everything in my body and heart is fighting against each other and end up at an impasse with neither one happy

i hate getting misgendered as a girl and i bind and shit and pass like 70% of the time but it never feels right because i still always look like a 14 year old boy and idk what to do...

so yeah, any advice for these problems? idk what to define them as, i just feel really lost and longing for something but idk what that is, i love my voice and singing, its the most joyous thing for me to do but idk how genderfluid people live like this, its agony trying to choose one part of me over the other (to start T or not) everything feels so ...idk confusing.

is it wrong to use AI for help.

i write songs and music completely on my own, but i've never been good at editing and it confuses the hell out of my adhd/autism to understand.

so i will put my lyrics into AI, not to rewrite, but to tell me how to edit a song.

for example, if i need to rewrite something or an idea doesn't make sense, it will tell me.

i don't take any ideas from AI, all i do is ask what needs to be changed.

and i have found the more it points out my bad points, the better i get at noticing them myself.

so yes, is this wrong?

i see many people saying to just learn edit, but i really really can not figure out how, its extremely confusing especially with my autism so if you say this, pls in your comment also explain how. i do not have money for classes or someone to help making the songs.

so i'm fairly sure i'm genderfluid as the other half of being bigender, i'm always a demiboy but the other side is most of the time a boyish thing (demiboy) but sometimes usually just for an hour so less, i will sometimes be a girl but around every few weeks this happens and usually i just go between demiboy, masc nonbinary, fem nonbinary, agender and femboy to butch vibes.

i'm afab.

i know sometimes i'm a girl, but i usually have really bad dsyphoria with being addressed as a girl or with my chest, or looking like a young boy so i want to start T both so i pass and so i pass as my age and not a 14 year old boy (i'm 17), so i was thinking of maybe starting a low dose? but i'm not sure how much that will make me look like a dude?

i want to look like a dude but not have a beard or anything, i want to be able to pass if i feel like a dude that day, or just be nonbinary sometimes

like somedays i am almost completely a dude when both genders line up.

sometimes i want to wear a bikini (with shorts) or in a sports bra with my boobs (while looking heavily masc physically) and i'm agender

sometimes i want to be a femboy

so yeah, will a low dose be able to let me pass if i take it for long enough? ( i already pass 70% of the time, i just pass as a 15 year old boy) i want to be able to be fem and not get called a girl, and be able to sometimes be completely androgenous (they can't tell if i'm a boy or girl)

and how do ya all deal with all the gender changes? it freaks me the fuck out, because i feel like i can never look the way i am, because it keeps changing and i hate it.

the title basically.

so i've never been in love or dated someone, i've flirted, had people have crushes on me and vise versa, and i've had like interactions at partys with people who are interested but never dated so idk how to write a love song.

likewise, because i'm a depressed 17 year old lol, i can never seem to write happy songs, i write sad songs or angry songs or songs about being trans (they could be happy, but i'm not out so rn its a bit hard to be find trans joy or gay joy)

so yeah... how do i write happy/love songs? its the thing that challenges me the most, and thats usually the things that gonna make you grow the most as an artist so thats why i'm trying to figure it out.

I will also note, before ya all say i'm to young to be a musician. i have been making music for years, my parents do stuff with music (have even worked with grammy winning people), i have made a lot of songs, and play piano and guitar, i'm in two choirs and do theatre (musicals and just acting) Yes. i am a musician and have experience.

Hi,

so this is not a promotion post at all which is why i do not have a link to my blog or the name, i just wanted some guidance with it.

so i'm 17 and making a queer blog. i am omnisexual ( just gay for every gender but picky), demi ace, demi aro, bigender (half a demi boy and half genderfluid, tho i am never a woman.)

pls don't say i am collecting labels, it is very invalidating because these are all things i am.

but i am only 17, so i want to make sure i am being careful with how i go about a queer blog and making sure i don't say the wrong things.

i have won awards for my writing, usually my poems or art which is usually about queer youth and youth mental health and activism. and i'm also a musician and i might make like a podcast later on on the blog which will either be talking about queer labels or just a shit blog where i talk about queer reddit posts cause that sounds fun.

the blog posts will be about my experiences and some info posts on queer things. (like what some labels mean, or myths and such)

so what are some tips and advice for me?

Transgenderism* is the same basically as f*ggot for gay people.

it reduces being trans down to an ideology, I've seen multiple people here use it who are not trans and then defend the word but no. its offensive to trans people.

i even asked the r/ftm subreddit here - The Term Transgenderism? : r/ftm

and everyone except one person who had never heard the word, agreed.

like guys how can you defend a word as not being offensive to trans people when trans people agree its offensive.

like i'm trans and that word is only ever used by people who have heard it and not known what it means or people who are transphobic.

like yes, the OG meaning is fine but the way it's used now and its social meaning is not.

its like how the word queer was fine at first and then socially a slur to call a gay person and now its fine again. words do not always stay with their OG meanings

TLDR; do not use transgenderism or the trans gods will strike you DOWN dawg.

idk i find the term offensive because i've had it used in a negative way against me, but do most trans people not find it offensive?

the OG meaning is fine but i mean how its used social today.

i'm not Christian for reference i just grew up as one, and i still have a church i go to with my mom.

and i grew up learning the latter, where mary wants a baby, and god sends gabe down to help cause he can do that, and she pushes out jesus ( because god gave him a human form) and he is god's son. but others don't?

i just wonder where and how this divide happened?

yeah. i love learning about religions.

i'm a hellenistic mage (nonbinary for witch) and i'm queer so don't be homophobic or transphobic with your religion.

for reference, i just mean tell me about your beliefs and what's important to you and how you practice your religion etc.

so i'm (17ftm) autistic with ADHD and my mom (50+) knows this.

but she has always had a problem with my tones, and for my type of autism i can't control my tone very well or always hear the difference in other peoples unless their being super obvious like i usually come off as flat or deadpan and if i try to sound happy i usually sound sarcastic (or so i'm told) and it sucks cause i can genuinely mean something and i get told off as sassy or i can be happy for someone and come off as judge-y.

and my mom always gets after me for it, and lately she has been doing this thing where she doesn't tell me i sounded rude, she just suddenly uses an obviously rude tone or talks to me like i'm a little kid. and when i call her out on it she says i can't because, if i'm allowed to use a rude tone then so is she even though i told her "there's a difference between someone who can't tell the difference in my tone as opposed to someone who can" and she gets mad atme about it and is mad the rest of the night.

like i get its hard having a neurodivergent kid but its hard being neurodivergent when people make fun of me for it.

so AIO?

EDIT for clarification: i can only tell other peoples tones when they are being obvious (so think when an actor is being really really emotional to get a point across) but i can't hear my own or when people are using social cues or subtle ways of being demeaning or bitchy.

So I'm a trans dude and idk if i should talk to my mom and sister about this who fyi know I'm trqns and have been fairly supportive aside from my mom being hella said cause my deadname was a legacy thing for my dead aunt and my sister tried to convince me i was just genderqueer and not full on trans (even tho thats under being trans???)

But their better now...but everytime i talk about a crush, if its a girl their like "idk if their gay?" And if its a guy their like " he might be straight, maybe you have a shot"

... ITS NOT GAY with a girl cause I'm not a girl and its not straight with a guy, its fucking GAY.

Now it is queer with a girl in some cases (cause i am a bit nonbinary but i haven't told them that part yet) but usually its fucking straight unless they got gender shit too.

So would i be too nitpicky if i told them this stuff, maybe via email so its not a whole thing? It makes me kinda dysphoric expecially when they say me and a guy would be straight. When its FUCKING GAY.

Ps. I love saying fucking gay so ignore me ***

So yeah, whats ya alls checklist for making a song. All the way from coming up with the thought of it to posting it to everything yoh do to edit it or promote it.

I'm working up a couple of my songs (I've been writing for years and learning but I've never recorded a final cut. Because with my autisim its always been incredibly hard to learn producing with how confusing shits set up)

I'm omnisexual, so i like dudes in a gay way but i also like woman in a gay way and i'm much more attracted to woman because...duh, ya all are tea.

i'm afab and i'm not a woman and i'm closer to being a dude (demiboy, He/They) but then i'm also kinda just nonbinary and i'm starting a lowdose of T soon but my sister (lesbian) tells me no lesbian is going to want to date me. and i suppose i could date a straight woman but it just doesn't feel right because i'm a dude yea but i'm also nonbinary.

so yeah, would lesbian not date someone with T?

EDIT: i'm not talking about the definition of lesbian thats afab woman with afab woman because thats transphobic, i referring to the people who are deeply connection to womanhood or femineity and are attracted to people with the same connection. pls don't respond if you do not accept nonbinary lesbians.

so i'm 17, and i've been making music for years and want to be a musician for a living (along with a day job cause its hard to make it as a musician)

and rn i have around $500 to spent on music and i'm working recording some songs rn i've made and is there anything i should save up to buy or buy for my music? i have the basic shit

i have a like 50 years old guitar and 25 years old piano and some old mics and mic adapters from my dad who did music.

all of which still work even though their old af lol

so yeah, i know i don't need to buy anything necessarily, i just wonder what i should save up for or that might help me rn.

i've been making music and writing it for years and usually its pop or dark pop.