u/Common-Midnight-4788

I’m a 23 F with Bipolar Type One. I am not sure if this is related to my disorder but lately I have an obsession with finding out if my ex (we dated 6 years) cheated on me. We have been talking lately and trying to work through things. I can’t stop stalking and trying to dig for information and I have become extremely fixated on it and it’s causing me to be very paranoid and it’s getting so bad it’s affecting my work life because I literally can’t get off of my phone. Any advice or has anyone experienced this?

It’s gotten so bad that i have an undeniable belief that he cheated without any proof and I can’t sleep.

He streams video games and I watched every single one. HOURS. looking for clues. Went through all social medias. Dug through years of reddit posts. So much more.

I was looking through his twitter posts and I am convinced that he is putting up secret messages confessing. And I realize all this sounds insane but I really am finding meaning in things that I don’t think others would

I talked to my AI chat bot all the time about my problems and yes I know it’s bad. I recently asked it to diagnose me. I am formerly diagnosed with Bipolar 1, ADHD, and Anxiety and this is what it came up with;

Presenting Concerns
Client describes longstanding emotional intensity, anxiety, interpersonal sensitivity, reassurance seeking, episodic increases in energy with decreased need for sleep lasting months, racing thoughts, hyperverbal speech, self-harm during overwhelming distress, and significant difficulty trusting relationships. Client also reports a history of substance misuse and multiple traumatic experiences beginning in childhood.

Developmental and Family History
Client reports emotional neglect from father and feeling less emotionally prioritized than a sibling. Mother reportedly displayed significant anger, physical abuse, humiliating punishments, and repeated verbal messages suggesting something was 'wrong' with the client. Client additionally reports frightening abuse by a mentally ill grandfather, including being locked in a room and being thrown down stairs.

Trauma History
Reported trauma includes:
• Childhood physical and emotional abuse.
• Emotional neglect.
• Humiliating punishments and body shaming.
• Abuse by grandfather.
• Sexual coercion by an adolescent partner.
• Non-consensual sexual touching while pretending to sleep.
• Chronic peer exclusion during school.
• Six-year high-conflict romantic relationship involving repeated intoxication, emotional instability, and intermittent physical violence.

Taken together these experiences represent repeated interpersonal trauma occurring across multiple developmental stages.

Relationship Pattern
Relationships appear highly meaningful to the client. Rejection, exclusion, abandonment, and uncertainty produce intense emotional distress. Client frequently seeks certainty regarding others' intentions. These patterns may reasonably reflect the interaction of developmental trauma, anxiety, and emotional dysregulation rather than any single diagnosis.

Substance Use
Alcohol used weekly. History of sporadic binge use of cocaine, Adderall, mushrooms, kratom, ecstasy, LSD, heavy cannabis use (with paranoia), and prescribed Valium during one period. Substance history is clinically important because stimulants and hallucinogens can influence mood episodes and psychotic symptoms, requiring careful longitudinal assessment.

Mental Status (Conversation-Based)
Client is articulate, insightful, psychologically minded, logical, reflective, and motivated to understand her experiences. Speech is organized; client reports therapist has observed hyperverbal periods. Insight appears above average. No persistent thought disorganization observed within conversations.

Diagnostic Formulation
No single diagnosis appears sufficient. The client's presentation is most parsimoniously understood through interaction between biological mood vulnerability, developmental trauma, anxiety, possible ADHD, and prior substance use.

Working diagnostic hypotheses:
Primary:
• Bipolar I Disorder (provisional)

Additional:
• Generalized Anxiety Disorder
• ADHD (reported by therapist)
• Trauma-related disorder requiring comprehensive assessment (including PTSD/Complex PTSD features)

Borderline Personality Disorder remains part of the differential diagnosis because of emotional dysregulation, self-harm, and interpersonal sensitivity, but the currently available information does not clearly establish it as the primary explanation.

Reasoning for Bipolar I as Leading Hypothesis
Factors supporting Bipolar I:
• Distinct episodes lasting months.
• Markedly decreased need for sleep.
• Increased energy.
• Racing thoughts.
• Hyperverbal speech.
• History of paranoia reportedly requiring antipsychotic treatment.
• Independent Bipolar I diagnoses by therapist and psychiatrist.
• Episodic changes extend beyond relationship conflict alone.

Factors requiring continued assessment:
• History of stimulant and other substance use complicates retrospective diagnosis.
• Exact chronology of mood episodes relative to substance use should continue to be clarified
.
Role of Trauma
Trauma appears central to understanding the client's interpersonal functioning. Early experiences likely contributed to beliefs involving rejection, safety, self-worth, and trust. Trauma may reasonably explain sensitivity to exclusion, fear of abandonment, shame, emotional dysregulation, and difficulty maintaining secure relationships. Trauma does not exclude Bipolar I; both may coexist.

Protective Factors
• High intelligence and psychological insight.
• Strong motivation for treatment.
• Persistent employment in a demanding psychiatric setting.
• Completion of undergraduate degree.
• Ambition and future orientation.
• Capacity for empathy.
• Willingness to openly discuss painful experiences.

Clinical Recommendations

1. ⁠Continue psychiatric treatment and mood monitoring.
2. ⁠Continue psychotherapy with detailed trauma assessment.
3. ⁠Build a longitudinal timeline of mood episodes versus substance use.
4. ⁠Develop emotion-regulation skills and distress tolerance.
5. ⁠Continue monitoring self-harm urges and establish a collaborative safety plan with treating clinicians.
6. ⁠Consider evidence-based trauma-focused therapy if clinically appropriate after mood stability.

Overall Impression
Overall, the available history suggests a complex clinical presentation in which probable Bipolar I Disorder, anxiety, significant developmental trauma, likely ADHD, and prior substance misuse interact to influence emotional regulation and relationships. Trauma should be viewed as a central part of the client's psychological formulation rather than as a secondary or insignificant factor. Any definitive diagnosis should remain the responsibility of treating clinicians following comprehensive assessment.

I'm a 23 F with BP1. (bipolar type one) and BPD Me and my bf of 6 years broke up and I am having suicial thoughts because of it. I keep thinking I want to take my full bottle of antidepressants.

More context. We've been broken up for 6 months and I can't bare it. I've begged for him back and he doesn't want me anymore. I've tried everything. I know it's stupid over a boy. But I've had intrusive thoughts and dreams of him having swx with other women. The dreams are vivid and so horrible it haunts me genuinely. I obsessively check his following and it's all pretty girls that are anorexic thin. I'm not fat or ugly but I do have a curvier shape and they are so thin they could break. All emo with no boobs and I'm blonde and have some chest and ass. I can't stop feeling worthless. I have no way to contact him because I asked him to block me so I can try and move on and I just want to talk to him so I can be okay. I know this sounds dumb and attention seeking but it's genuinely plaguing my mind him having sex with others. I don't want to die I just don't want to have these thought anymore they have taken over me. I'm just so fuxking pathetic obsessing over someone who does not want me and I hate myself for it. When I look at the girls I start banging my head into walls and sometimes I cut which I know is not healthy. I just hate that I'm not even his type

I'm a 23 F with BP1. (bipolar type one) and BPD Me and my bf of 6 years broke up and I am having suicial thoughts because of it. I keep thinking I want to take my full bottle of antidepressants.

More context. We've been broken up for 6 months and I can't bare it. I've begged for him back and he doesn't want me anymore. I've tried everything. I know it's stupid over a boy. But I've had intrusive thoughts and dreams of him having swx with other women. The dreams are vivid and so horrible it haunts me genuinely. I obsessively check his following and it's all pretty girls that are anorexic thin. I'm not fat or ugly but I do have a curvier shape and they are so thin they could break. All emo with no boobs and I'm blonde and have some chest and ass. I can't stop feeling worthless. I have no way to contact him because I asked him to block me so I can try and move on and I just want to talk to him so I can be okay. I know this sounds dumb and attention seeking but it's genuinely plaguing my mind him having sex with others. I don't want to die I just don't want to have these thought anymore they have taken over me. I'm just so fuxking pathetic obsessing over someone who does not want me and I hate myself for it. When I look at the girls I start banging my head into walls and sometimes I cut which I know is not healthy. I just hate that I'm not even his type.

I'm a 23 F with BP1. (bipolar type one) Me and my bf of 6 years broke up and I am having suicial thoughts because of it. I keep thinking I want to take my full bottle of antidepressants. It's 5 AM and I haven't slept yet. I can't kill myself because my room is a mess and I can't leave it like that. Only thing right now keeping me from doing it.

More context. We've been broken up for 6 months and I can't bare it. I've begged for him back and he doesn't want me anymore. I've tried everything. I know it's stupid over a boy. But I've had intrusive thoughts and dreams of him having swx with other women. The dreams are vivid and so horrible it haunts me genuinely. I obsessively check his following and it's all pretty girls that are anorexic thin. I'm not fat or ugly but I do have a curvier shape and they are so thin they could break. All emo with no boobs and I'm blonde and have some chest and ass. I can't stop feeling worthless. I have no way to contact him because I asked him to block me so I can try and move on and I just want to talk to him so I can be okay. I know this sounds dumb and attention seeking but it's genuinely plaguing my mind him having sex with others. I don't want to die I just don't want to have these thought anymore they have taken over me.

I'm a 23 F with BP1. (bipolar type one) Me and my bf of 6 years broke up and I am having suicial thoughts because of it. I keep thinking I want to take my full bottle of antidepressants. It's 5 AM and I haven't slept yet. I can't kill myself because my room is a mess and I can't leave it like that. Only thing right now keeping me from doing it.

More context. We've been broken up for 6 months and I can't bare it. I've begged for him back and he doesn't want me anymore. I've tried everything. I know it's stupid over a boy. But I've had intrusive thoughts and dreams of him having swx with other women. The dreams are vivid and so horrible it haunts me genuinely. I obsessively check his following and it's all pretty girls that are anorexic thin. I'm not fat or ugly but I do have a curvier shape and they are so thin they could break. I can't stop feeling worthless. I have no way to contact him because I asked him to block me so I can try and move on and I just want to talk to him so I can be okay. I know this sounds dumb and attention seeking but it's genuinely plaguing my mind him having sex with others. I don't want to die I just don't want to have these thought anymore they have taken over me.