u/Favbrunette004

A guy that I matched on a dating app came over today. I made cinnamon rolls, we ate, then we cuddled.

Which was weird because I did not let any guy cuddle me with a sweet intention in a year. And I did not realize that I missed it really bad. We kissed, almost had sex ( he had no condoms, so we had to stop).

We had dinner, we kissed a lot, cuddled naked, felt very nice, we were all over each other. I did not realize how much I missed this feeling.

And I hate missing this feeling, because all the time it came with costs.

I don’t know If I will see him again. I want to see him again, but I am scared to say and ask.

I am so tired of being alone.

I still can’t believe that it has been almost a year that we met. We did not date even much, but every cell of me misses you.
I just want to sleep in your arms again. I want to safe again. It was so special with you and was not like that with no one else. It is probably never gonna be.
Doesn’t matter who I have sex with, doesn’t gonna matter who I am gonna date, I just miss you so BADLY.
I just want to look at your hazel eyes again and feel your lips on mine. But I know it is not gonna work out so I just keep it to myself.
I miss you so much. Wish there was a way back.

Hallo zusammen,
ich wohne seit 3 Jahren in Deutschland. Ich studiere hier und mein Bachelor ist auf Englisch. Mein Ziel ist es, mein Studium auf Deutsch weiterzumachen.
Am Anfang war Deutsch eigentlich schwierig für mich. Jetzt verstehe ich 80 % des Kontexts, ich spreche Deutsch mit Kunden bei der Arbeit und normalerweise sind meine Ergebnisse nicht schlecht, wenn ich Texte auf C1-Niveau lese oder Übungen mache. Trotzdem habe ich Angst vor der B2-Prüfung. Ich habe noch keinen Termin vereinbart, weil ich zu viel Angst habe. Hat jemand einen Ratschlag für mich?
Vielen Dank!

It is 9th day of my period. Last week on monday, it started with brown discharge, was not even sure if it was period. During the week, went a low-mid bleeding, heavily with brown color. Then few days ago It started to bleed again, this time with red color, but stopped so yesterday I got rid of my pad. Only to realize I have bled through my thong lmao. I got the pad again and went through with my day, but bleeding is coming very random, just checked it again and im bleeding again, my pad has stains. Im not on birth control and my doctor keeps telling me it is “normal” to have irregular periods. I just want to cry in middle of airport. I cant explain how mad I am and how much I want to cry. Why no one gives a shit about health of women. I even called the clinic 2 weeks ago and asked for my test results, they told me it was sent by post but guess what? Now i am going to vacation and I am bleeding in middle of this. I did not even get the results. I HATE HEALTHCARE SYSTEM AND EVERY DOCTOR WHO THINKS THIS IS NORMAL.

Has anyone dealt with extremely irregular periods?
It is 9th day of my period. Last week on monday, it started with brown discharge, was not even sure if it was period. During the week, went a low-mid bleeding, heavily with brown color. Then few days ago It started to bleed again, this time with red color, but stopped so yesterday I got rid of my pad. Only to realize I have bled through my thong lmao. I got the pad again and went through with my day, but bleeding is coming very random, just checked it again and im bleeding again, my pad has stains. Anyone has dealt with this? Any advices?

P.s; im not on birth control and my doctor keeps telling me it is “normal” to have irregular periods. I just want to cry in middle of airport.

I literally can’t stand it anymore. My 3rd period since the beginning of July. I am getting my period now every 18 days. I am so depressed and I don’t even know what to do. I went to my gyno a month and half ago saying that I have irregular periods and that I am sick of it. She did not write me birth control pills. I called the clinic the other day and they told me I can either pick up the hormone and blood results either with going there in person or they can just send it to me by post. I still don’t have it. I hate my life and I am already depressed like GIVE ME A BREAK

Hello everyone, I got my period last week on 23rd july. It was 10 days early, period itself was not painful, bleeding was mid, mostly brown blood. I thought it was over since now it is the 8th day of the cycle, but again i saw a brown spot on my underwear. Why is this happening? Any ideas?

Btw, I had a pap smear test and a blood test by my doctor last month, she told me that she will call me if she finds something abnormal, but no response.

Hello everyone, I got my period last week on 23rd july. It was 10 days early, period itself was not painful, bleeding was mid, mostly brown blood. I thought it was over since now it is the 8th day of the cycle, but again i saw a brown spot on my underwear. Why is this happening? Any ideas?

Btw, I had a pap smear test and a blood test by my doctor last month, she told me that she will call me if she finds something abnormal, but no response.

I met a guy who was living 2 hrs away online few years ago. When we started chatting, he was battling with the grief of his dad, I was battling with depression&loss of my first love and was completely at low.

We called, texted, even met once in real life. He was very sweet, shy, innocent. I tried to support him as much as I could by that time, then I fell into deeper hole, we still spoke time to time, but it was not consistent. Overtime we started to speak less, I was busy with my own life and he was busy with traveling. I remember how he showed me his dorm room, told me how excited he was to live alone and have his own space for the first time.

I was going through my Spotify and I found the song I sent him 3 years ago, which was on my native language. I remember how he wanted to go to concert with me, to hear that song in live, but I couldn’t due to my classes. I am sorry mate, I wish I could.

What hurts me and kills me the most is the fact that you left this world thinking no one loved you or cared for you. But I did, even if you were far, you were part of my innocence, you were my first male friend, you were so sweet and you did deserve all the best. I wish I was there for you. I am so sorry. I hope you are resting in peace now, I hope that we meet again on the other side.

I am so sorry, for not being there for you. I am so sorry.

Rust Zacht😔

I (22f) matched with a guy on Tinder (22M) few months ago. We went for a coffee, we talked about a lot of things, studies, preferences, relationships, insecurities and etc. I thought we had a connection, but he did not text me after, so I thought he just did not see it as something to continue with, and I moved on.

A few weeks ago he texted me to hang out. I agreed and we watched a movie, fast forward we ended up having sex. Then we cuddled and spent more time before he left.

(Don’t give me big paragraphs about how much of a hookup app Tinder is)

I thought it was just a hookup and that we were probably never gonna meet up again, since I have encountered this type of casual hookups before.

A week later, he texted me asking to meet up again. I said okay and we decided to meet up on Sunday. However, I got my period so I informed him on Friday that I am on my period and if it is okay for him to just hang out, he said yes.

During the night I got drunk, we started to text again, he asked to come over and I agreed. We listened to some songs, had some food (3 a.m btw) and strangely, while we were cuddling and both were half-asleep, he told me he forgot something important and that he has to go. I did not know what was wrong so I apologized if I did something wrong, he hugged me and kissed me, then he asked if he could join the party my flatmate was throwing. I told him I will update him, but can’t promise since the party wasn’t mine. I asked my flatmate later but he did not agree, so I informed him and he asked to hangout on Sunday. I agreed but couldn’t get any answers on Sunday, I texted and he told me he has something to do with his dad and that he has to see him, apologized to me and asked if it was possible to meet today. I said okay.

Guess what? No answers, no follow up.

I finally told him that what he did was super disrespectful, and cut the contact.

I really don’t understand what people are trying to do with these mixed signals. I can’t find any fucking logic and I am so tired of believing that there is a hope out there.

Stay honest and don’t be a douchebag.

And ladies, never meet a man or give a chance to a guy who cancels on you!!

Hello everyone, I (22f) went for a coffee with a guy I matched on tinder (23M) a few months ago. I honestly liked him and thought we had a connection, but most of the time I wait for a text from the other side first. (Don’t attack me asking why I don’t text first, it is because on the cases where I texted first,I got ghosted or has been said that they don’t see a connection with me)

Anyways, fast forward, a week ago he asked me to meet up and hang out again. I agreed and we just played some games and watched a movie. Then we ended up having sex, we cuddled, then he left.

A few days later he texted me again to meet up this week, I had exams and a festival coming up so I asked to meet up on Sunday, which he agreed. Then I informed him that I got my period and asked if it is okay if we just chill, he agreed. However, yesterday I was drunk and we were texting, he asked to came over around 2-3 a.m. I agreed and he also brought me food. We ate a little bit, smoked , listened to some songs and then we cuddled again. But nothing sexual. We were half asleep, then he woke up out of nowhere (idk how to explain it properly) and said he forgot smth important. He was so stressed and scared, idk why. I apologized if I had done smth wrong, he said I did nothing wrong. Then I hugged him and tried to calm him down. As far as I know he has been struggling with his health, his weight and he also lost his mom at such a young age due to cancer, so I am trying my best to be kind to him.

Then on the door he asked me if he can join the party today, I said I will try to fix it because it is a private party of our flatmate, and he only invited fee people he knows, I don’t want to crash the party. Otherwise we will hang out tomorrow. I texted him, but did not get a response so far.

What is your take on this, should I just stop contact with him?

I think I have been depressed for my whole life. When I was a teenager, I would just dream of not being in this world anymore. But I was just a teenager. I had goals.

Getting into university. Moving abroad. Moving away from my family. I did achieve them. Now I study abroad, I only have 10 modules to finish. I live away from my family but nothing is the way I wanted or I dreamed.

I took 2 exams this semester, I couldn’t study well because I was working this semester, working on my language skills and got hospitalized due to my mental state. I feel so disappointed and embarrassed of myself.

I do not know what to do with my life. I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t feel connected to anyone. Sometimes I wish my friend did not find me near the canal the day I was hospitalized, I wish I would just be gone. I don’t know how to live anymore.

A few weeks ago I told my friend that most of us are depressed, and she told me I look like anything but someone who has depression. I mask good.

Bad at school, no proper friends, no one to love, family who wants to control me and doesn’t believe in mental health issues. I went to gym, I went to psychologist, I journaled. I bought things for myself to make myself happy, but no.

I don’t see a future for myself. I am scared of myself. I feel like I am living with a bomb in my brain, and someone is gonna press on the wrong cable and it is gonna explode. I don’t even have a reason to be alive honestly. I just want to disappear.

I knew that our stupid interactions was not meant to be something meaningful. I knew it. I was the one who wanted to have no promises, I just wanted to chill, no negativity and no feelings.

While we grew closer, I started to feel bad. I started to feel like I was the one who was in the wrong. I wanted to you for sex, and I never saw a future with you. Because you were wrong choice. I explained to you, how I can’t give my time and my feelings, my effort to someone. You never knew why. You did not know that I was raped by 2 men I loved the most, you did not know how much I struggled to go away from home, you never knew and I am so happy I never told you.

Last time we were together I felt so bad, as if like I was using you or forcing you to sex. I asked if you were comfortable. You just wanted someone to hold you. I couldn’t tell you I wanted you to hold me as well, but I couldn’t because I was scared. The puzzle was solved, you were just lonely, that is why you told me that you would keep a kid if I was pregnant, everything else you told me before, I thought I solved the puzzle. But I was wrong.

You told me how I see you as a meat, I said yes I do, then you told me how no one likes you for who you are and women have commitment issues. I said yeah, that is how some of us are. You slept in my bed, you cuddled me and asked me if I was secure, I said yes. And I did. You asked about my trauma. I couldn’t tell you. And I am so happy, so happy, I did not.

But then I regretted it so bad, I wanted to text about it but then I thought no, better if I not. Better in person. I wanted to tell you I like your stupid jokes and the fact that you are actually smart. My friends also told me that I was being too harsh on you.

And then what the f you did?

1 week later, you are on a vacation. You are in Brazil. With a girl. You went there for her.

You are just a bad person. You tried to learn about my scars. You tried to hurt me in person.

I was so right about you. There is nothing in you to like. You are shallow. Empty.

And Congratulations, because of everything I have went through, all the stress, the accident of my mom, with my family, with my friends, work and studies and also because of whatever the f you did, I can barely breathe.

I got hospitalized, sedatives did not help, I don’t remember last 2 days. I have a bandage on my arm and I don’t even remember how that happened. I just find myself spending enormous amounts of money, buying things for my friends for taking care of me bc Idk how to say thank you. (otherwise I was going to fall into canal and something bad was supposed to happen to me)
Everyone in my life stole something from me, now I am just finding myself sitting in my room, or some part of the city, crying and asking why did I turnout this way. Thank you for stealing last spark, last hope and last light in me.

I don’t see a future for myself. I don’t see a life. I am so scared. I am scared of my brain. I am scared I am never gonna be okay. I am scared that this is the end.

My heart is tired, my soul is tired.

I knew that our stupid interactions was not meant to be something meaningful. I knew it. I was the one who wanted to have no promises, I just wanted to chill, no negativity and no feelings.

While we grew closer, I started to feel bad. I started to feel like I was the one who was in the wrong. I wanted to you for sex, and I never saw a future with you. Because you were wrong choice. I explained to you, how I can’t give my time and my feelings, my effort to someone. You never knew why. You did not know that I was raped by 2 men I loved the most, you did not know how much I struggled to go away from home, you never knew and I am so happy I never told you.

Last time we were together I felt so bad, as if like I was using you or forcing you to sex. I asked if you were comfortable. You just wanted someone to hold you. I couldn’t tell you I wanted you to hold me as well, but I couldn’t because I was scared. The puzzle was solved, you were just lonely, that is why you told me that you would keep a kid if I was pregnant, everything else you told me before, I thought I solved the puzzle. But I was wrong.

You told me how I see you as a meat, I said yes I do, then you told me how no one likes you for who you are and women have commitment issues. I said yeah, that is how some of us are. You slept in my bed, you cuddled me and asked me if I was secure, I said yes. And I did. You asked about my trauma. I couldn’t tell you. And I am so happy, so happy, I did not.

But then I regretted it so bad, I wanted to text about it but then I thought no, better if I not. Better in person. I wanted to tell you I like your stupid jokes and the fact that you are actually smart. My friends also told me that I was being too harsh on you.

And then what the f you did?

1 week later, you are on a vacation. You are in Brazil. With a girl. You went there for her.

You are just a bad person. You tried to learn about my scars. You tried to hurt me in person.

I was so right about you. There is nothing in you to like. You are shallow. Empty.

And Congratulations, because of everything I have went through, all the stress, the accident of my mom, with my family, with my friends, work and studies and also because of whatever the f you did, I can barely breathe.

I got hospitalized, sedatives did not help, I don’t remember last 2 days. I have a bandage on my arm and I don’t even remember how that happened. I just find myself spending enormous amounts of money, buying things for my friends for taking care of me bc Idk how to say thank you. (otherwise I was going to fall into canal and something bad was supposed to happen to me)
Everyone in my life stole something from me, now I am just finding myself sitting in my room, or some part of the city, crying and asking why did I turnout this way. Thank you for stealing last spark, last hope and last light in me.

I don’t see a future for myself. I don’t see a life. I am so scared. I am scared of my brain. I am scared I am never gonna be okay. I am scared that this is the end.

My heart is tired, my soul is tired.

Hello everyone,
Due to a bad stress I went through, I ended up in hospital since I had a panic attack.

I want to know how can I get psychiatric help here in Germany, since my symptoms barely go away.

I was always saying to myself that I can’t take a heartbreak anymore. I was right.

Yesterday I learned that my mom had an accident, got hospitalized. She drowned in the sea on vacation, my sister gave me the news and for a whole day I did not understand anything. Could my mom be gone? I had a bad relationship with her, and the worst part is, what if she was gone and she did not know that I actually loved her?

I went to work. I functioned all day. But the weigh was there, on my shoulders. In my heart.

Then my guy who I was seeing dropped the bomb that he is on vacation. Fair to say, we were casual, I was like, yea ok. Then I found out he flied from fucking Netherlands to Brazil to see her. TO BRAZIL. At least he could have been honest with me and say he has someone special out of the country.

All together. I started to spiral and got a big ass vodka. Started drinking. All i know next is my flatmate seeing me and me crying to him. I went home but my heart was hurting so bad that I had to call ambulance.

I ended up in the hospital, they put me in a room and gave me some sedatives. And next time to go to Psychiatrie.

Be honest to each other, people. Some people have too much weight to carry.

From the moment we were together, I enjoyed our vibe. I loved the sex we had.

I never saw you as a relationship potential, not because you were not enough, but because I never saw you as a secure person to invest my time and effort for. And I have explained this to you. How it is hard for me and how I am logical when it comes to relationships.

I like our vibe, I like what we have. Just few hours, having good time and having sex. No promises, no anxiety. You and me.

But last time for the first time I actually realized that you were alone. When you came and cuddled me, not for sex, but because you needed that. Finally the puzzle got completed. You were not cool as like you portrayed before. All the comments you made about getting into a relationship or having a kid… I think you need someone to want you the way you need.

Then you mentioned how people see you as a meat and how women don’t like for who you are. But I do. Even though I made fun of you and continued saying that I only see u as sex, I hide the fact that I like you. And yes, like you said, I have commitment issues like other women you saw. But who doesn’t?

I am sorry. I wish I could have the courage to fix this. But I have been through so much that I can’t keep being in a relationship &carrying a relationship.

But I like you. I do like you. I like your stupid hair, I like the way we smoke together and I like your awkwardness. I know we are not gonna workout, because we are casual and everything. But I think I will keep liking you and having these feelings inside of me, in peace. I regret for not saying it back. Wish you were by my side on bed.

I am sorry.

Z.