Are my 20’s supposed to be ~this~ miserable?
I’m 24 and have never dated anyone…I’ve never even really been approached by men. I had 1 talking stage when I was 21 that lasted 2 weeks before he ghosted me and then lied about it.
I did graduate college last month, and I’m not even excited about that. I didn’t learn much, I didn’t make any helpful career connections. I didn’t make a single, useful connection my entire 5 years there. I also graduated high school during Covid, so I had to do my first 2/3 years of college online…didn’t make any friends. I had a part-time job so I could do my homework and work.
I still work part-time and I’m submitting multiple job applications and resumes every single day and I’m not getting any responses. I’ve even sent out emails about my availability for an interview and haven’t gotten any responses. I got 1 response to schedule and interview and when I told the hiring manager my availability for 2 weeks out, he never reached back out. I check the job listing on LinkedIn just over a week later and it was taken down because it had already been filled. I’m applying for jobs that don’t even have pay listed.
I was homeschooled since I was a kid, and I only have 1 “close” friend as a result. We’ve been friends for 11 years. We used to live about 20 minutes from each other, but my parents divorced when I was 17, and I moved all the way to the other side of the state. Now we see each other about once per year, less most of the time. She also has a boyfriend who she’s always with and she goes days without texting me. A few weeks ago, I asked her what she was doing for the 4th and she said she would check, but she never got back with me.
I haven’t done anything for July 4th for the past 4ish years. My brother is in the Military and my mom travels for work, so I can’t really celebrate Christmas or Thanksgiving until a week or two later.
My father’s side of the extended family hasn’t bothered to reach out to me since they divorced. I’m not sure if it’s because he’s talking shit about my mom and I, or what the reason is for them not reaching out. My mom’s extended family doesn’t talk to us often because we have different political views and they like to argue.
…and the icing on the cake. I figured I could add to my portfolio in my free time. I recently reached out to a woman (via email) and asked if I could do a research/art project about her father for my portfolio. She found my portfolio website and looked through my work. Which is fine. But instead of saying a simple yes or no, she shit-talked my senior art project. She called my work “mundane” and diminished my research writing down to “recycled writing.” I was using some 70’s/80’s singers and actors as my inspiration and she said I was trying to “profit off of their deaths.” I didn’t make even a fraction of a cent on that art project. I put hours into that and my professor gave me an A+. I almost cried at how rude and condescending she was.
Because I work part-time, I only work about 2-3 days per week, but I’m bored out of my fucking mind at home. I still live with my mom and that’s another thing that worries me. I want to be able to afford my own living space, but everything is expensive as fuck. I feel so behind in life and lonely. Everyone is hiring, but no one is hiring. Everything is expensive for no reason. Everyone is rude. The future looks bleak.
I like being alone sometimes, but not like this. I feel like no one likes me and I don’t know why. I just go to work and come home.