u/Ok_East5337

I told my husband I want to get divorced and he put his hands on me. I call the cops and he got arrested. This is his second time. He got arrested 2 years ago but he convinced me to drop the charges. Made me feel guilty for getting him in trouble.

I guess my question is. I’d like to move where he doesn’t know where the kids and I are. Idk if that’s legal but I’m scared. I was going to ask the domestic violence organization if they could help me find housing. The thing is I live with my family. So I don’t technically need housing. I am just worried of his coming here and doing something. I don’t have any friends or other family I could stay with.

I told my husband I want to get divorced and he put his hands on me. I call the cops and he got arrested. This is his second time. He got arrested 2 years ago but he convinced me to drop the charges. Made me feel guilty for getting him in trouble.

I guess my question is. I’d like to move where he doesn’t know where the kids and I are. Idk if that’s legal but I’m scared. I was going to ask the domestic violence organization if they could help me find housing. The thing is I live with my family. So I don’t technically need housing. I am just worried of his coming here and doing something. I don’t have any friends or other family I could stay with.

I am trying to leave my abusive husband. We have 3 babies so I’m trying to be smart about it. He’s been physical in the past but now is verbally and emotionally abusive. He’s an insane narcissist. Beat me and still blamed me. Said the cops and I set him up…..
i am so scared of him getting joint custody, so I’ve stayed. But it’s miserable being here but what happens to our kids if they are with him? He can’t even watch them alone even right now. I have old videos of him saying he’s going to kill all of us. But it’s old. Someone I know said to write down the things he says or does. But is that good enough for court?
When he got arrested there was a restraining order. Stupidly we still saw each other and he convinced me to write a letter to the court to drop his charges and they were dropped. That incident happened in front of our newborn and toddler.

I am trying to leave my abusive husband. We have 3 babies so I’m trying to be smart about it. He’s been physical in the past but now is verbally and emotionally abusive. He’s an insane narcissist. Beat me and still blamed me. Said the cops and I set him up…..
i am so scared of him getting joint custody, so I’ve stayed. But it’s miserable being here but what happens to our kids if they are with him? He can’t even watch them alone even right now. I have old videos of him saying he’s going to kill all of us. But it’s old. Someone I know said to write down the things he says or does. But is that good enough for court?
When he got arrested there was a restraining order. Stupidly we still saw each other and he convinced me to write a letter to the court to drop his charges and they were dropped. That incident happened in front of our newborn and toddler.

Yea I’m just in my feelings today and want to vent how shitty this man is. When I gave birth to our first he was horrible. He left and went to his dad’s for a little bit. He came back remorseful and told me I can fuck someone to get back at him. That really messed me up because that clearly means he cheated. To this day he still denies cheating on me. Yes I know I’m stupid for staying this long. I was very mentally unwell and have gotten help since.

I want to add. I am currently planning mine and my kids exit from him. He has made me feel crazy for so long and has always pushed off my feelings of his actions towards me I wanted to see what people thought of this situation. Not that it matters.

I kinda just want to vent so this is random. Also maybe trigger warning. I don’t know why I’m posting this I just have never told anyone this.

From the age of 16-22ish I was going through a long manic episode. Didn’t end until I got medicated. During this time I was hypersexual and would hookup with sometimes several people a day. There were times I look back and it makes me so sad about my past self. But I also put myself in the situations so idk.

I’d meet up several times with this guy. One time he wanted to meet up and I told him I only wanted to please him because I was on my period. He said okay and when we met up he said he wanted to use the back door and I told him no and he was trying to force it in and holding me down and I had to push him off.
Then there was another time where I literally talked to a guy for a second on tinder and then decided to hookup. He was worried I was going to rob him so the whole time we were doing it he had a gun. Yea I don’t know why I put myself in these situations. I didn’t care about living anymore and I was not mentally there.
Then there was a time that when I was hooking up with a guy it started to hurt so I told him to stop and he said “I’m not done” and pushed me on the bed to finish.

I don’t even know who I was. Looking back I don’t understand how I was like this. Ive been mentally okay and have been thinking of my old self and feel so bad of how I treated myself.

I want to start with my husband has a foot condition where he’s in pain a lot. He doesn’t do anything around the house even tho I’ve suggested different things that’d help him. Like he could sit down and fold clothes, sit on the kids floor to clean it, etc. but he refuses. Our whole relationship he’s acted like he’ll get a job. But then when the time comes he says he’d rather just be on disability. He’s been denied 4 times. Still want get a job. Even ones where he doesn’t have to walk much or a desk job. He has gone to vocational rehab and when I asked if he’s heard back from them he said he just doesn’t plan on working.

I’m aware most households need both parents to work. I guess I bothers me that I am expected to work and bring in all the money when I’d love to be with our kids. He’ll be home, and I’ll most likely have my mom watch the kids since he can’t handle them alone.
I hate him so much and it’s making me so angry. The fact that he’s okay with him doing nothing and me being the one having to work. I have an interview tomorrow and it’s just hit me how useless he is. And I knowwwww I need to leave. Honestly it worries I don’t want to stress our kids out even more. My 4 year old is autistic as well. I know it’s better to see me happy. I just know it will be a shitshow when I tell him to leave and that I want a divorce. I don’t want to ruin their lives anymore. But I know it’s right. He screams at them and gets so angry. I worry about him getting custody because he genuinely has something wrong with him.
I wish he cared enough to want to help out. I hate that I’m the only one having to. I know I will not want to be around him when I start working because it’ll piss me that I’m doing everything.
Also I had a job until my pregnancy became high risk and I was going to the doctor like every week and this was in my first trimester. At that point I didn’t know what job would hire me since I had to miss so much work. I didn’t food delivery my entire pregnancy up until the day I gave birth.

Also I’m very aware that I am no better than him. I shouldn’t have had kids with him and I’m not looking for sympathy. I will say I have been going to therapy and I feel like it has helped me not feel like I have to stay with him. I felt like I deserved this.

One reason why I haven’t left is I’m worried about custody. I’m not just a “bitter” person, he scares me with his temper. A lot of the time he’s fine with the kids. Then there’s times he flips on them. He’s never been physical with them but he has with me. I know he will get at least some custody and they does worry me.

I want to start with my husband has a foot condition where he’s in pain a lot. He doesn’t do anything around the house even tho I’ve suggested different things that’d help him. Like he could sit down and fold clothes, sit on the kids floor to clean it, etc. but he refuses. Our whole relationship he’s acted like he’ll get a job. But then when the time comes he says he’d rather just be on disability. He’s been denied 4 times. Still want get a job. Even ones where he doesn’t have to walk much or a desk job. He has gone to vocational rehab and when I asked if he’s heard back from them he said he just doesn’t plan on working.

I’m aware most households need both parents to work. I guess I bothers me that I am expected to work and bring in all the money when I’d love to be with our kids. He’ll be home, and I’ll most likely have my mom watch the kids since he can’t handle them alone.
I hate him so much and it’s making me so angry. The fact that he’s okay with him doing nothing and me being the one having to work. I have an interview tomorrow and it’s just hit me how useless he is. And I knowwwww I need to leave. Honestly it worries I don’t want to stress our kids out even more. My 4 year old is autistic as well. I know it’s better to see me happy. I just know it will be a shitshow when I tell him to leave and that I want a divorce. I don’t want to ruin their lives anymore. But I know it’s right. He screams at them and gets so angry. I worry about him getting custody because he genuinely has something wrong with him.
I wish he cared enough to want to help out. I hate that I’m the only one having to. I know I will not want to be around him when I start working because it’ll piss me that I’m doing everything.
Also I had a job until my pregnancy became high risk and I was going to the doctor like every week and this was in my first trimester. At that point I didn’t know what job would hire me since I had to miss so much work. I didn’t food delivery my entire pregnancy up until the day I gave birth.

Also I’m very aware that I am no better than him. I shouldn’t have had kids with him and I’m not looking for sympathy. I will say I have been going to therapy and I feel like it has helped me not feel like I have to stay with him. I felt like I deserved this.

One reason why I haven’t left is I’m worried about custody. I’m not just a “bitter” person, he scares me with his temper. A lot of the time he’s fine with the kids. Then there’s times he flips on them. He’s never been physical with them but he has with me. I know he will get at least some custody and they does worry me.

I lost my job shortly after giving birth. I have been living off our tax return which was 7k and it’s pretty much gone. I have been applying for jobs for ever now. I’m 4 months postpartum btw. I was and am so desperate I was applying to jobs in a city that’s 2 hours from me. I figured it’d be easier to get since it’s a big city. Well I actually did hear back from some and now I feel stupid because I don’t even know how that’s work with 3 young kids.

I also applied this this city because I do plan on moving there next summer. I want my son the go to pre k first then by summer I should have enough saved up.

Idk I’m so desperate for money and a job. I don’t know what to do.