u/Reasonable-Hawk7859

I was reading a thread on a dating subreddit where someone gave the typical advice, "Join a hobby, volunteer" etc.

Another person replied: "Most women (myself included) actively avoid clubs because they are always full of dudes using them to find a girlfriend."

Is this really becoming a common phenomenon? I should also mention I'm 23M so technically part of Gen Z. Dating apps suck but I'm starting to wonder if it's really becoming the only option??

Say it's in a context where it's socially acceptable to chitchat with people and you've sometimes successfully had some banter with people, I've had instances occasionally where people are talking to you just fine and suddenly they just cut the conversation off with some polite short answer and you just back off.

I (22M) booted up my old phone I stopped using a couple years ago, I liked to screenshot a lot of the conversations that actually went somewhere too and I just could not fucking believe looking back how beautiful the people I getting really were and how much fun it actually looked chatting with people.

The thing is I kept a separate folder of all my photos I used for dating apps and there was not one single non selfie pic even, like wtf happened, I look the same as I did then, it's only been two years

I'm 22 and booted up my old phone I stopped using a couple years ago, I liked to screenshot a lot of the conversations that actually went somewhere too and I just could not fucking believe looking back how beautiful the people I getting really were and how much fun it actually looked chatting with people

The thing is I kept a separate folder of all my photos I used for dating apps and there was not one single non selfie pic even, like wtf happened, I look the same as I did then, it's only been two years.

I'm 22 and booted up my old phone I stopped using a couple years ago, I liked to screenshot a lot of the conversations that actually went somewhere too and I just could not fucking believe looking back how beautiful the people I getting really were and how much fun it actually looked chatting with people

The thing is I kept a separate folder of all my photos I used for dating apps and there was not one single non selfie pic even, like wtf happened, I look the same as I did then, it's only been two years.

I'm a guy in my early 20s, never really wanted to consider having to do some inner work and I just told myself it couldn't be because I only date woman and it was a guy who did it, but it was more noticeably bad with this new woman I slept with.

I do fine when we're nonsexually intimate, like when we cuddle or make out some, but that fight or flight feeling kicks in once I actually have to get naked, and my body flinches easily getting touched, she also couldn't help but remark how tense my leg muscles felt when she was down there

I'm a guy in my early 20s, never really wanted to consider having to do some inner work and I just told myself it couldn't be because I only date woman and it was a guy who did it, but it was more noticeably bad with this new woman I slept with.

I do fine when we're nonsexually intimate, like when we cuddle or make out some, but that fight or flight feeling kicks in once I actually have to get naked, and my body flinches easily getting touched, she also couldn't help but remark how tense my leg muscles felt when she was down there

So I've done half a dozen two-hour driving lessons and I've repeatedly felt my right leg gradually get more numb and suffer random jabs of pain the longer I'm behind the wheel, it obviously is uncomfortable and I suck at gauging speed without constantly eyeing the speedometer, I'm 22 and I've never felt like this while sitting as a passenger.

So I've done half a dozen two-hour driving lessons and I've repeatedly felt my right leg gradually get more numb and suffer random jabs of pain the longer I'm behind the wheel, it obviously is uncomfortable and I suck at gauging speed without constantly eyeing the speedometer, I'm only 22 and I've never felt like this while sitting as a passenger.

I'll be real I had a very black and white view where if you were already a good looking guy out and about you have no excuse to fuck up on apps, but I've seen a few other men discuss how much dating online is a ghost town and they have photos to prove they're not half-bad looking at all

There's like 3 concerts a year I attend each year, but everything else? Reading, writing short stories, video games and music streaming, all done within myself room. I have a rich inner world but I don't really feel like I can present them in a way that wouldn't seem bland.

Our parental figures weren't there for us, that's done with once you're an adult, nothing, nada. No friend or older mentor or romantic partner will come close to that love, the boundaries will always be tighter.

Why is it not treated as a simple observation when I say the extent of the love we feel from the world is nothing compared to the people who were privileged enough to be loved from the very beginning?

The thing is also, these people take hours to reply and will just give a very dry response then immediately ask another question before disappearing into the abyss again. I know people have time commitments and stuff but I swear when they particularly act like this everytime I ask to move off the app or whatever it flat lines for good

And don't give me that nonsense about how we have no other choice but to reparent ourselves, I know a method 10% of us succeed in going through with to stop dealing with all of this madness

Like are there cases where life just continues on and you'll be left with this constant existential struggle internally between the normal part of you trying to genuinely enjoy the good and weather the bad, and the utterly broken part of you that questions everything, do you think "It gets better" can be a platitude sometimes?