u/TalkTalkTalkListen

So, last summer i was staying at my grandpa's house for a bit and when it came time to go home he asked my aunt to drive me and my friend who had come with me to another town where we would meet my mom and then me and my friend would go home with her.

At this time I was 14 and my aunt was maybe in her mid thirties, not sure. Id also like to note that i am on the autism spectrum, as my actions may make more sense with that info in mind.

It became apparent very quickly that this drive was going to be horrible. We have very conflicting beliefs and views on many many things that I am extremely passionate about. We argued a lot. Any time I would try to ask her to stop talking so I could calm down she would just keep going. Honestly, I had never really been put in a situation like this before so I wasn't sure how to handle it, how to stay calm and regulate my emotions, etc. So, theres that.

At one point, she stopped to get gas and I saw a cool looking bug next to the car so I got out to pick it up because I quite like bugs and wanted to see what kind it was. She turned around and started SCREAMING at me that I was hurting it and I needed to put it down and I was being cruel. All I was doing was holding it in my hand and looking at it, but okay.

Then, while driving she realized her speaker was dead and instead of just plugging it in and waiting for it to charge she decided to go to Walmart and get a whole new speaker. She left me, my friend, and her French bulldog who already can barely breathe in the hot car for at least 5 minutes for this.

The entire car ride, I was very on edge due to her reckless driving. She was swerving a lot, wasn't keeping her hands on the wheel or eyes on the road as much as one should while on the highway, refused to wear her seat belt, and is arguing with and yelling at me all the while. Needless to say, I was very very anxious and unable to regulate my emotions.

After 3 hours in this car, we finally got to the town we were gonna meet my mom in. My aunt refused to go to where we had agreed to meet and it really stressed me out because i thought that was the plan ​and I also don't really know this town so it was nearly impossible to give my mom any directions. After stopping at a drive thru to get a burger while i was panicking over how long we were taking, my aunt pulls over on some random road I cant see a sign for so I have no clue where we even are. Im sobbing at this point. She gets out of the car and walks away so I can't even try to ask her for info to tell my mom. Eventually, my mom is able to get sort of close to where the car is and my aunt comes back to the car. My friend leaves to go try and find my mom. My aunt starts talking again, I dont even remember what she was saying but I know it was something dumb and that she was probably yelling again. I was crying and screaming telling her to stop talking and she just wouldnt, i didnt know what to do and eventually i leaned forward and hit her twice on the back. Im not proud of that and i know i shouldnt have done that, but i was in such a panicked and emotional state i didnt really think. I just wanted her to stop. I leaned back in my seat, still sobbing. She leaned back and wrapped her ​hands around my neck. I couldn't breathe at all, I was trying to get her hands off of me but I couldn't. She was yelling but I don't really remember what. I just know she was swearing at me. I dont really know how long it was until she let go, but my vision had almost gone completely black before she did. I was very very shocked and needed a second to process what just happened and to catch my breath. At this point, my friend had found my mom and was leading her back to the car. I got out and I ran to them and told them what happened.

I ended up pressing charges against my aunt and I had to get some stuff done at the hospital to make sure she hadn't caused any serious damage to my throat. The bruising was ​​​bad, it didnt go away for maybe 2 weeks. We had to take photos of the bruising every day to keep as evidence. we also ended up having to take pictures of my hands to show the LACK of bruising because once my aunt became aware of me pressing charges she started lying and saying that I had punched her really hard in the head. Mind you, my position in the car wouldnt have even allowed that.

Fast forward to now, my grandpa wants me to forgive her. She still lives on his property and i was planning on going to visit him because i was told she would be out of town but i guess that was a lie? My grandpa is saying that shes sorry and that not forgiving her doesnt do anything good for me. He says i should go visit him anyways and that its fine. Is he right? ​I really do not know at this point. I guess it would be better for the family if I let go of this grudge and if I didn't have to avoid family things just because she's there but I don't know if I feel safe around her. This might be messed up to say but I feel like if I had to see her again I'd probably attack her. Should I just forgive and forget? Am I in the wrong here?

EDIT: There's so many people saying it's obvious I'm not in the wrong and so many more saying that what happened was deserved and its my fault. so I am still questioning myself here. someone even said I'm so in the wrong here THEY want to strangle me😭😭

anyway, just wanted to clarify too that I only mentioned me being autistic because it's why I have a harder time regulating my emotions and such. im not trying to use it as an excuse for my actions. and, most of the time when there was argument it was her talking at me and me asking her to be quiet lol

Okay so I'm a Black girl (19f) and I do musical theatre at my college. This happened over the  the past few days and I still can't believe I have to even ask this but here we are.

So there's this white girl in the program. I'm gonna call her Brenda because I hate that name and fits how she acts. Me and Brenda aren't close but we're friendly enough, we chat before rehearsals and stuff. She's one of those people who thinks she's like super woke and makes it her whole personality. You know the type.

So after rehearsal one day Brenda pulls me aside looking all serious like she's about to tell me someone just died. She says she needs to talk to me about something important and that she's worried about my character. I'm standing there in my sweaty rehearsal clothes just wanting to go home and she's looking at me like I'm supposed to be scared or something. I ask her what she's talking about because I haven't done anything wrong. Then she drops this bomb that I should be ashamed that I'm friends with someone who's white supremacist leaning.

I literally laughed at her I said girl what the hell are you talking about. I don't hang out with anyone like that. I'm Black. Why the fuck would I be friends with a white supremacist? That makes zero sense.

She goes "your friend Connor." And I just stare at her.

Connor is this white guy I've known since middle school. We grew up in the same town, did community theatre together, went to the same high school, and now we're at the same college. He's genuinely one of the kindest people I know. He's a total theatre nerd like me and he's always been super supportive of me. He's been dating this girl Madison for like 8 months now and he's honestly the happiest I've ever seen him.

I tell Brenda she's lost her damn mind, Connor is not a white supremacist. And she explain why she thinks this and I swear to God I'm not making this up.

She says the reason Connor is white supremacist leaning is because he's white with dark hair and blue eyes and Madison is white with supposedly blue eyes. I say supposedly because I've seen Madison's Instagram and her eyes in pictures look anything from gray to light blueish green depending on the lighting. Sometimes they look straight up dark brown or hazel. But Brenda insists Madison has blue eyes and that's the important part apparently.

Brenda then tells me that if Connor and Madison stay together and have kids, they could have blonde haired blue eyed babies. And that's white supremacist leaning because they're basically trying to create the "ideal" white race or whatever eugenics nazi bullshit. She said I need to talk to Connor and make him stop the relationship because its my responsibility as his friend to not let him participate in eugenics.

I just stood there and I think my mouth was hanging wide open. I asked her if she heard herself talking. Like did those words really just come out of her mouth. She got all huffy and crossed her arms and said she thought I would understand because I'm Black and should be sensitive to these issues. Like she was doing me a favor by telling me this.

I said Brenda you are actually insane. You want me to tell my friend he can't date a girl because she might have blue eyes and they might have kids with blue eyes? Do you hear how that crazy sounds? She said I was being willfully ignorant and walked off in a huff.

Here's the thing about Connor though. I've known him since we were like 12. I've seen this man have crushes on all kinds of girls. He had a huge crush on this Indian girl in 8th grade and he was too shy to even talk to her. He dated a mixed girl for a few months junior year and he was so nervous about meeting her parents he made me practice what he was gonna say with him. His first girlfriend in high school was a white girl with brown hair and brown eyes who broke his heart and he listened to sad music for like two months straight. Like he has never had a type. He just likes who he likes. Madison just happens to be white with light eyes. Its not like he's out there with a checklist trying to find some blonde haired blue eyed girl to start a master race with. He likes Madison because she's funny and she's also into theatre and they have the same dumb sense of humor.

I told Brenda all of this. I said you don't know him like I do, he's not like that, he's literally dated every race under the sun at this point. She said that doesn't matter because the current relationship is the problem. I told her she was being ridiculous and walked away.

Now she's been texting me all summer. Like every few days I get a new message. She said I'm enabling white supremacy by not saying anything to Connor. She said I'm part of the problem. She said if I really cared about my community I would step up. A couple other people in the program have heard about it and some of them actually think Brenda has a point even if she went about it wrong. Which is crazy as fuck to me.

I'm not gonna tell my friend to break up with his girlfriend because they both got light eyes and might have light eyed kids. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. And I definitely don't think I need to explain his whole dating history like I'm his defense attorney just to prove he's not a white supremacist. But Brenda keeps saying I'm turning a blind eye to eugenics and I should care more because of my own background and honestly I'm tired of trying to explain how the world works to her.

I really don't think this is a real problem, man.

I (28F) single and child-free have been friends with my best friend (mid-30sF) for almost 10 years. She has two young kids.

We’ve always been very close. I love her kids like my own — I visit them, talk to them on video calls, and I show up for birthdays, graduations, and special occasions even when I’m not financially comfortable. I genuinely care about them and our friendship.

Recently, I started a new job that pays better, and I’ve been trying to be more intentional with my money and save for some big life goals.

The issue is that when we hang out, the financial setup has always been very “split everything equally” — transport, food, outings, etc.

For example, if we book a ride that costs $100, she’ll suggest we split it 50/50, even though she is traveling with her two kids and sometimes a sitter. So effectively it’s 4 people on her side and just me on mine.

The same thing happens when we eat out — we split the bill evenly even though most of the food is for her kids, and I don’t really consume much of what’s ordered for them.

Lately, I’ve started feeling uncomfortable with this setup. Not because I don’t love spending time with them, but because financially it doesn’t make sense for me anymore, especially as I’m trying to save and plan for my future.

Because of that, I’ve been declining some of her invitations to go out (swimming, lunch, dinners, etc.), since I already know it will likely mean splitting all costs equally despite the imbalance in number of people.

I haven’t confronted her about it yet because I don’t want to hurt her feelings or damage our friendship, but I also don’t want to keep putting myself in a situation where I feel financially drained or taken for granted.

So I guess my question is:

AITA for not wanting to hang out anymore because I don’t want to keep splitting costs equally when she’s bringing her kids and sitter along?

It’s Saturday y’all here’s the update you guys have been waiting for.
After I made the original post. I talked to my aunt who is also going to the wedding. She has a dairy allergy. I asked her if she had talked to them about food at the wedding and she said she had and they were fairly understanding and explained to her that the only part of the food she might have to substitute would be the hollandaise sauce and she would just not eat cream cheese from the hors d’oeuvres. And butter for any seafood is on the side. They were fully supportive in giving her the substitution she needs. So confused me gave my aunt the rundown on what I had experienced and she was just as puzzled as I was.

Today, I had a sit down conversation with him asked about the food situation. I asked why he said no about my substitutions. He wouldn’t give me a straight answer. I asked why everyone else who wanted substitutions got them. Again he wouldn’t give me a straight answer. But when I brought up paying for my own substitutions. Oh, did he talk! he said that the whole not wanting to let me pay for my own substitutions was just a misunderstanding. He thought that I meant I wanted to pay for everyone’s substitutions (I would be fine with if that was something I had to do btw), but he didn’t want me doing that, ofc I understand.
The last question I asked was, if accommodations were available, why was I the only person being told no?
I told him that I talked to our aunt and I know that her food substitution was granted. He then danced around that topic as well. Saying stuff like “well you know aunty, she can get anything she wants. You know how she is!” basically making a joke about our aunt being a Karen (not my fav thing to hear). Finally I just said I would be more than happy to talk to the caterer myself if that was necessary. That’s when he got quiet.
Then he asked me not to contact the caterer. I was so confused and still am! the more I pushed for answers, the more uncomfortable he became. Finally, after about five minutes of going in circles, he admitted that he knew substitutions were possible (obviously, me and him both knew this already).
Apparently the caterer had offered allergy accommodations, which is what my aunt told me as well. Not only that but several guests had already requested modifications to their meals (my aunt being one of them).
Thats when things got even weirder.
He told me that his fiancée had specifically mentioned me when they were discussing dietary restrictions. Apparently she thought my dietary restrictions were "annoying". He said he tried to convince her that it wasn’t a big deal but she shut down any further discussion about it. I told him that I had medical needs and I can’t be in the heat without food. Therefore, I do not feel comfortable attending. He got really frantic and said he’ll talk to her. I told him I was going to talk to her anyways. He got weird about that too. I also made sure that he knew even if I wasn’t going I would still continue to help with the planning, which didn’t really calm him down, I just left after that. This entire situation is getting weirder and weirder..

I’m going to talk to his fiancée next, probably tomorrow. But for now the saga continues ig lol.

Thanks for the support and suggestions! lol

OG post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITH/s/dzdERM4BXF

My husband and I are having our first kid. We have tried for the past few years but we were unsuccessful, until now. My mother in law has been helpful ever since we told her. Before me and my husband got married I didn’t really think she liked me. She was always cold and short with me where it came to any conversation. Whoever we told her she actually spoke to me having a normal, not awkward conversation. She even started going to our ultrasound appointments with me and my husband, and would help around the house after each appointment.
I thought she was an absolute angel. But little did I know she was trying to make this baby about her.
I have been planning the gender reveal party for months now. I had the idea for the venue and the cake. I told my friends/husband about my ideas and they loved it. Whenever I told my mother in law she didn’t like it. She started showing me these other overpriced venues and recommended we use poppers instead. I didn’t want to argue with her but I told her that the venue she mentioned isn’t in our price range. She said she’ll pay for everything. I didn’t really feel comfortable with that and I told her about how I felt but she just waved me off.
I told my husband my concerns and asked if he could speak with his mother, he said he would talk to her.
Apparently, when my husband spoke to her she argued with him and insisted on the venue and the poppers. I eventually said okay but I was quite upset.
My mother in law asked if she could be the one to know the gender and go and buy us the poppers. I was hesitant at first but agreed.
The party was good for the most part, I got to decorate how I wanted to and it was nice to see my family and friends.
Eventually it was time for the revival. Me and my husband both got a popper and held them up in the air. We had a countdown and whenever we twisted the poppers, they were gold.
Of course me and my husband were confused..
But then my mother in law pulled out another popper and popped it. Pink confetti went everywhere and my mother in law started jumping up and down, screaming. The whole party went dead silent, but all I could hear was my own heart beat. I immediately lost it. “what the actual fuck is wrong with you“
She immediately went defensive. “Well I thought since I payed for the venue and helped with you with the gender reveal, I could be the one to surprise you both. It not a big deal, you need to realize what I’ve done for you.”
I said “ I didn’t even want you to help me pay for anything. I had a whole plan. I had the venue planned and I didn’t even want to do poppers. You did! You wanted to take the spotlight for yourself! You’re a pathetic excuse of a person. You have ruined everything!” I stormed out with my husband following me and we drove home.
He said I went to far and that his mother was just exited and trying to be nice.
I’m starting to think I may have gone too far but idk.
AITA?

Update

Thank you everyone who commented. I honestly thought I was a bit harsh, but I see now I just stood up for myself. Also I’m not a frequent Reddit user, so I’m not sure if this how I update..I had to look it up lol.

Whenever me and my husband got home from the party we didn’t speak to each other. I got a call from one of my friends the next day from the party and she told me that my mother in law made an announcement whenever I left. She said that she apologized for my yelling and said that I was trying take her granddaughter/and son away from her.
I tried to tell my husband what she said but he said that he won’t speak to me until I call his mother and apologize for embarrassing her and himself infront of everyone. He said I was too far out of line and I needed to treat his mom better because she didn’t have to go out of her way to make sure the party was perfect.
I confronted him, I told him he should have had my back because that was supposed to be our moment, our memory, our daughter. But she ruined that for us. Now she was making herself the victim. I said if he couldn’t see the issue then we have bigger issues than just his mother.
I said I will never apologize for how I acted or for what I said.
After I told him this, he slowly turned to our bed room, packed a suitcase, and left.
I was able to figure out he went to his mother’s house.
I’ve been trying to text/call him but I don’t think anything is going through at the moment..
I haven’t been alone, my sister is currently staying
with me just in case something happens to me or the baby. I’m so scared, I don’t know what I should do.

Last week, I went on a mountain trek with four friends. The trek had been planned in advance in our group chat, but when we arrived, another woman (friend's friend) showed up unexpectedly and wanted to join. We warned her about the severity considering her weight and fitness levels.

This was a difficult trek with steep, uneven terrain, rocks, exposed roots, narrow mountain trails, and cliffs along some sections. It was also our first trek of the year. The plan was to hike up to a homestay, stay overnight, watch the sunrise the next morning, and then hike back down.

We started around 3 PM in hot, humid weather. After a few hours, it became clear that the extra person was struggling badly. She told me that I looked strong and muscular and that I should be helping people like her. I didn't argue and started helping her over steep and rocky sections.

As it got dark, three of my friends continued ahead. Another friend and I stayed with her. He was encouraging her and carried her backpack, while I physically helped her through difficult sections. At times I was effectively pulling 40-50% of her weight with one hand while having my own backpack, holding trekking pole, and flashlight in the other. Mind you she was 190-200 lbs at 5'3"

We were at most difficult part of stretch: narrow zig-zag trails, steep terrain, darkness, and cliffs on one side. Every time she saw a rock more than 8-10 inches, she would give her hand out and expect me to pull her up

The hike became much harder after dark. She frequently stopped, needed breaks every few mins, complained constantly, and threatened saying she might faint. Everyone was already exhausted and low on water.

At one point, she lost her balance and grabbed my leg so hard that I nearly fell off the cliff which coulda been fatal. That was the moment I became genuinely angry and confused.

As we got closer to homestay, she started mocking me and my friend for being drenched in sweat, despite fact he was carrying both backpacks and I had spent hours helping her up the mountain. She had also used most of our shared water supply.

When we finally arrived, I expected at least some acknowledgment of the effort we had put in. Instead, she immediately complained about being hungry and about the poor mobile network. She dint thank either of us.

I eventually lost my temper and told her she needed to show some gratitude and recognize how much help she had received. She cried afterward. I then chose to stay in a different dorm because I was frustrated. Now the friend who invited her thinks I was wrong for yelling at her and making her cry.

TLDR: unprepared friend joined a difficult mountain trek at the last minute, struggled for hours, required constant help from me while another friend carried her backpack, nearly pulled me off a dangerous cliff, consumed most of our water, and showed no gratitude afterward. I yelled at her for ungratefulness, and now I'm being told I was out of line.

Used AI to make it <3k char

EDIT. Thank you. I am grateful and amazed. My friend is the one who relayed the request from her daughter, so yes she knows.

If you find I am the AH, I respect that. I called her today and said I couldn’t find a way to bake them and transport them safely and that I was uncomfortable about working for two days plus all the ordering of ingredients and cost.

It got a bit tense of course and then I said I was uncomfortable even showing up, with or without the goods. We hung up and now i have to see. I will not do any outreach. They will be so busy! I made myself too self-centered here. I will not be replying further but again, thank you.

—-————Original post: My friend J. and I go back to our very first jobs in our field, and we've been close for over 40 years, with a couple of neutral silences--I was dealing the potential breakup of my marriage, she had a child with bulimia. The older child, her daughter, has been engaged for a couple of years and the wedding is in August.

J. said she went to some trouble to "clear" the invite for me; her daughter envisioned a wedding in a giant barn with just the closest of friends and family, about 175 people. J. had to tell her, about me, "she's my best friend!" before it was agreed to. Her daughter's solution was to invite me, but to say in the invite, "In lieu of a wedding present, please bring 200 of your famous ______" which was a refrigerated dessert that made the New York Times when I owned a bakery, bringing us some kind of fame and good repeat business. I have not had the commercial kitchen for 10 years.

This dessert has to be refrigerated if it's not served immediately, and as I said it is to be a barn wedding. Plus the drive to the wedding, with 200 desserts in the trunk and backseat, takes almost four hours.

AITAH for being mad about this? My friend J. would do anything for her children, at her own expense. This feels as if it's at my expense, and I'm so resentful that I might "come down with pneumonia" the day before the wedding and skip it. But that's not friendship, of course. Weddings make everyone insane. I appreciate your input--this is gnawing at me.

So this story happened while I was still in college, and I have since parted ways with this friend due to many other reasons, but what he said still comes back to haunt me sometimes, and I need to ask just to see what other people think. Me (F19 at the time) and my best friend who I’ll call Stephanie, (F21 at the time) would often go skating together. We would frequent skate parks, skate around campus and to classes together when we had any near each other, it was a great time. We had this other friend who I’ll call Ryan (M24 at the time). He’s on the heavier side, and I don’t want to sound like I’m making fun of him when saying this, but it is important. He would take the bus to class instead of walking, never really did anything physically taxing, and I never asked but I feel like I remember him saying that he was in the mid 300s for weight (in lbs). When we’d hang out with him it was usually in his room watching tv or playing video games or something.

One day he wanted to come hang out with me and Stephanie when we went to a skate park, even though he didn’t skate and of course we said yes, as he was the type to enjoy tagging along even if he wasn’t doing what we were doing, so we let him come along and said we’d all go shopping afterwards, cause we needed to anyway. When we got there, Ryan sat on a bench and the three of us chatted for a bit while Stephanie and I did our thing. At some point, Ryan asked me if he could try out my skateboard. Now he was also the type to hold a grudge. And if he didn’t get his way, he would hold it over our heads until we did something for him that made up for it, which was the main reason why I ended up cutting ties with him in the first place. I thought about it for a second, considering this, but I ended up saying no, as my skateboard was pretty banged up already, and I didn’t say this to his face but I didn’t want to risk him breaking it. Skateboarding is NOT a cheap hobby, and my board cost me like $250 up front, and I probably spent around $80 in upkeep (admittedly I didn’t take care of it as nicely as I should have, which is why I needed to get so many replacement parts, I’m better about that now but still). I put a lot of money into this, and the deck has a really cool flower design on it that I loved. Basically, I didn’t want him accidentally breaking it while he tried it out. I remember him saying “oh okay” and he went back to the bench and sat pretty silently on his phone until we left a couple minutes after. I could tell he was disappointed, but I just didn’t want to risk it.

A couple hours after the three of us got home, I received a text from another mutual friend of ours (who lived with Ryan), angry at me about “calling Ryan fat” even though I never did. Apparently he had gone home and cried to his roommates about how I didn’t let him try my skateboard out, and said that I “humiliated him” for being fat. Maybe I could have been less direct about not wanting him to accidentally break my board, I don’t know, but I felt bad. Stephanie was firmly on my side, and she told me that she wouldn’t have let Ryan on hers either if he had asked. (Which honestly thinking about it now, Im finding it odd that he never asked Stephanie about trying hers out, and why it was only mine).

I said my piece to Ryan’s roommates, and not a word was brought up about it again between either of us after this very short argument, but I would always catch nasty looks from Ryan whenever we would hang out. I dunno, I still kind of feel bad about how I acted, maybe I should have let him try it out just a little, it probably wouldn’t have broken unless he tried to ollie or something. Am I the asshole?

I'm a nurse and I work night shifts, so sleep is not something I take for granted. Last month I had a seven hour flight home after three back to back night shifts, I think I'd slept maybe five hours total over those three days. I got to my seat, put my neck pillow on, eye mask ready, genuinely thought I'd be out before we hit cruising altitude.

About forty minutes in a kid behind me started screaming. Not fussing, not whining, full on screaming. I gave it a solid hour because I know kids are kids and flights are hard for them, I wasn't about to be that person immediately. But after an hour and a half of on and off shrieking with zero signs of stopping I turned around and very calmly asked the mom if there was anything she could do, said I wasn't trying to be difficult but I really needed to sleep and asked if maybe she had a snack or something that might help settle him. I was not rude, I did not raise my voice, I genuinely tried to phrase it as nicely as I could. She looked at me like I'd said something horrible and goes "he's two, what do you want me to do about it." I said I understood and turned back around. About ten minutes later she tapped my shoulder and loudly told me I was "bording on harrassment" and that she would be reporting me to the flight attendant. The woman in the seat next to me actually leaned over and whispered "you were completely fine" which made me feel better but the mom kept making comments for the rest of the flight and other passengers were looking over.

I met my two friends Sarah (24F) and Tia (25F) in high school around 12 years ago through school soccer. We became really close and would hangout all the time. After high school at 18, I joined the military and moved to another state, so while we kept in touch I didn’t see them for about 6 years.

When I medically discharged from the military, I was diagnosed with severe PTSD and also level 1 autism and was put on a military disability pension that pays 75% of my base salary. I bought my first home and got a PTSD support dog as well.

A few months after being back in my home state, my friend Tia asked me if I wanted to join her and Sarah on a trip to South Korea with them. I have done a lot of solo travelling already so I was more than happy to go. The girls planned to do a lot of shopping and beauty treatments, which i’m not interested in, so I suggested we do some cultural activities. Every suggestion I made the girls didn’t like, so I let them plan what they wanted and thought if we had time we could do the things I wanted.

When we got there, I felt like everything that went wrong was blamed on me. Tia got upset because on our second day there the girls wanted us all to get matching nails. The salon overcharged us by $150. I almost cried when I heard the price because originally we had been told we would pay $75 and the total ended up over $200 per person (I’ve also never been scammed like this overseas when travelling alone so I think it was just a bit of a shock). I did pay but when we got back to the hotel Tia pulled me aside and said that “I shouldn’t have come if I wasn’t prepared to spend money like this”, And she gave me the silent treatment the rest of the day. (While I am ok spending money when it’s worth it, I don’t agree with throwing it away either).

We had other issues like them getting upset when I didn’t look at train timetables with them. While I did navigate when I needed to, I felt like 3 people looking at the same map on their phones was a bit pointless.
They also would get upset when we went shopping and I wouldn’t buy anything, or when I suggested we eat Korean food (the girls don’t like Korean food and wanted to have cafes and Starbucks).

I did the rest of the trip by-myself because I could tell they were getting annoyed at me. So I spent the rest of the trip looking at cultural sites, visiting temples and eating traditional korean meals while the girls went shopping and did their beauty treatments. I also met up with a friend of mine who was posted in Korea from the airforce and she showed me around as well. often the two girls would not invite me to dinner or out in the evenings even though we still shared a hotel.

When we got back home, the girls and I continued being friends and I thought we had put this trip behind us. My friend Sarah had asked me at the start of this year for 8 free tickets to a zoo I volunteer at (they give me 10 free tickets a year for friends and family, and normally I’d give my free tickets to the local homeless shelter i also volunteer at but I gave them to her instead). And my other friend Tia asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding and even got me to help her plan her wedding colours and parts of her wedding a month ago.

Out of the blue a week ago I find out that Tia has blocked me on social media, so I message Sarah asking her if Tia is doing alright, and I get a long message saying that neither of them want to continue our friendship after our trip in Korea. Mind you this trip has happened a year ago. They said they felt like “two disability support workers who had to take care of me the entire time”, and they felt they had wasted thousands of dollars on a trip that I will get back instantly with my military pension. They said that me not helping with navigation and refusing to spend money shopping put a lot of stress on them also. They also said I should not have come to South Korea when I have fish allergy (although I never had any issues with food there, except one night where I didn’t eat with the girls at the fish market and went somewhere else to eat). Sarah also said that she won’t allow me to continue benefitting from their friendship.

I spoke to my friend in the airforce who was in Korea about this (I introduced her to these two girls one day on the trip for a coffee), and she said that the girls probably just need someone to blame for the trip not working the way they wanted. And that she noticed Tia was really demanding and if things didn’t go her way she would get upset with me. She said that I need to let that friendship go and that she will always love me and she values our friendship a lot.

I didn’t respond to the message that Sarah sent me about our friendship ending because I didn’t want to make it worse. I feel so devastated that this one trip ruined 12 years of friendship.

Like the title says, we were discussing relationships and past partners what were looking for in partners etc at work, and the topic came to my relationships, were i mentioned my wife was a virgin, had 0 relationships in her past and that was something i liked about her(we were talking about our partners and how we met, things we like about them so it wasnt just a random oh woo my wife had no partners before me), and then it went quiet, and they started blowing up saying how misogynistic I was, how my wife was so unlucky to have me, then I just said i dont care what you think of me, and now they are telling some of the other women in the office about what I said and I'm getting stares now, whats the deal here? I just said something about my wife I liked, why are they going mental? Am I wrong in something I said

So Ive been at this little estate agents office for about two weeks. Theres six of us in total and no real HR because its such a tiny set up. The owner runs the place and the rest of us all do the same job. Im 24 and just qualified so this is my first proper job in the industry.

Theres this one woman in her mid fifties whos been weird with me from day one.

She never uses my actual name. Its always "the baby" or "kid" or "babs" and her favourite is "the trainee" even though shes on the exact same role and rate as me. I let it slide the first week because I figured shed knock it off once I wasnt new anymore.

But she didnt. By the end of last week she was doing it in front of customers in for viewings. So on the Tuesday I asked her as nicely as I could to just use my actual name because Im not a trainee and people coming in think Im on work experience. She laughed and said something about how Id miss being called

young one day so I should enjoy it and then carried on doing it anyway.

On the Thursday I went to the owner about it because it was starting to feel like proper bullying. He actually sighed at me when I brought it up and told me it was a "playground thing" and we should sort it out between ourselves. That was genuinely the phrase he used. So that was that.

This morning she came in with her usual "morning kiddo did baby get enough sleep" and I just looked at her and said "morning granny." She went really quiet and then went off to the kitchen and started crying and one of the others went after her. By about eleven Id had three people come over to my desk telling me I was completely out of order and that being called young is a compliment but being called old is "actually hurtful" and she didnt deserve that at her age.

Shes been off her desk all afternoon and the owner has now emailed me to ask if Id consider apologising to her tomorrow morning to "keep the peace." I emailed back saying Id apologise the same day she stops calling me baby in front of customers and not before.

AIW?

So for context, my ex-wife was a SAHM who I found out was dropping our son off with her mom so she could cheat on me and told her mom she got a part time job. I found out from her leaving her Snapchat connected to our iPad and got notifications of multiple men she was sleeping with. She also remarried a few years ago and cheated on her new husband, although they're still together and she's still a SAHM. She hasn't had a job in over a decade.

Recently I was sent videos from someone who I met through her of my ex making "relationship coach" videos and giving advice. She's an attractive woman and in her videos she was wearing provocative clothing, usually just a push up or sports bra and shorts and has catered more to men because of it, who were all commenting on how brave she was and "any guy would be lucky to have you." etc. I decided to make an account and commented, "I think it's hilarious you're making videos about relationship advice when you've been unfaithful in both your marriages with multiple men." I left it at that, but apparently that created a big rift in the men who were following her and sending her money through the app she was using. Now she's blaming me for loss of "income" and when I sent that to her husband asking if he knew, he did not. So now they're in a huge fight and he's now considering divorce because of it.

AITAH here, or was I justified in calling her out on her grift and possibly causing their divorce?

AITAH for refusing to watch my grandkids during Summer break. Me (53F), full time college professor. My daughter (26F), stay-at-home mom. Grandkids (8M, 5F, 1F). My daughter, let's call her Katie, has 3 kids and lives with her boyfriend. She is a stay-at-home mom with no other responsibilities. I work as a full-time professor and have the months of June and July off. I typically use this time for training and professional development. Katie has hinted many times through the spring semester that she can't be home with the kids all summer and even has gone as far as asking me to keep them for a few weeks at a time. She has quite the explosive temper and whenever I don't do as she asks she throws a fit: screaming, yelling, and name calling until I cave. The day before Mother's Day she wanted me to watch the 1yr old. I told her that I am injured (hurt my knee and it is difficult to walk) and her dad is super tired. She threw a fit and told me to grow up and that dad should "act like a man" and just get over himself. We eventually caved and took all the kids so they wouldn't be around her that day. Fast-forward to the next day when she blocked my phone number and her dad's and didn't even call to say Happy Mother's Day. That is all fine, but the next day she calls her dad all nicey-nice and asks if he can watch her kids just one day a week during the summer so she can have a break. He tried to cave but it was an ABSOLUTELY NOT! from me. Now everyone thinks I am the A-hole but honestly I would rather work all summer than have to deal with her. My husband says it's for the grandkids and not her but I can't help but think we are rewarding her bad behavior. So, AITAH?

This is from a few years ago, but it's come up in arguments lately so I figured I'd get some outside opinions. My mom is what you might call a spite cleaner. She uses cleaning as a tool to control and nag and wine and whatnot. My siblings and I bore the brunt of it. Often she delegated cleanings to a saturday or sunday which we called "hell day"), she would usually go out to buy food for the week/errands and leave us to it, and it seemed no matter how much cleaning we did she was never happy with the result and the day would end with all of us arguing and upset. Sometimes we would barely do any cleaning since the end result was the same - her complaining.

Venting to each other outside the house one day, my siblings and I decided to prove she was just complaining for the sake of complaining. We set up a gofundme to raise funds to pay a local house cleaning company, posing it as something along the lines of 'help us get a professional house cleaning to surprise our mom!' And we were able to raise a few hundred dollars mostly from family and friends (who knew our situation), which covered the cost (and a nice big tip for the cleaners from what was left). So for one cleaning weekend when our mom had shopping plus getting the car looked at, we scheduled a local cleaners to arrive, they were 2 very nice women who proceeded to clean the house till it was sparkling (we chatted a bit with them while they were working, one of the ladies had almost 20 years experience cleaning homes, the other 8). With their consent, we filmed some clips of them cleaning, saying it was to surprise our mom.

So mom gets home with our uncle who was coming to dinner, and she's barely in the door, she's already started complaining about our "usual" subpar cleaning, that either I, my brother didn't clean the surfaces well enough or that my sister didn't sweep one spot. These were repetitive complaints she often said.

Long story short, we show her the footage, her face gets red and she proceeds to scream at us form embarrassing her in front of her brother, how dare we hire cleaners and have strangers in the house, blah blah. We argue back that this proves she just weaponizes cleaning.

It's been a few years since then, after the big blow up she just did most cleaning herself does she never admitted to weaponizing it. It came up again recently as us "tricking" her and I don't think we did anything wrong. AITAH?

My wife does most of the grocery shopping. She also loves grapes. She often eats them from the bag before paying for them (they are charged by the pound)

Tonight my older son got back into the car from shopping with her and said, “mom ate some grapes then put them back and bought a different bag.”

To which I say (in front of older son and younger one.8), “what the heck that’s stealing please don’t do that.” Also: you put them back? (She says they were rotten)

She got very defensive and we argued (in front of the kids) with me saying it is shoplifting and stealing. She says the store sells her food that goes bad sometimes and that we spend a lot of money there. And that it’s not a lot of money difference in weight after she eats some.

I fully realize she’s not stealing expensive things but now I am the asshole here because I discussed it in front of the kids and said she was stealing. I don’t think it’s worth getting caught, especially with the kids in tow. Also: setting a bad example.

She’s a great mom I feel compelled to say. Also note it’s mother’s day weekend….

But AITAH?