u/bunny_bun2

Me [20f] my bf [20m] have been dating for round 4 Ish years but we’ve been best friends for years before dating. When we were friends, he had a lot of people to hang out with but he’s cut off a lot of those friends who were douche bags which is understandable. But now he’s just refusing to make any new friends. He does talk to some people, but he doesn’t hang out with them. It’s just you know snap chatting back-and-forth now and then. He does have one close friend who he hangs out with time to time but this friend is not a proper friend. He barely speaks to my boyfriend when they hang out like they mainly sit in silence and his friend doesn’t actually like plan to do anything fun it’s just sitting in a car and just chatting for a little bit.

My boyfriend depends on me and my friends to hang out with him, which I love hanging out with my boyfriend 24 seven but I do feel like he needs to have friends too. It’s always “ can you see if XYZ want to hang out today?” but at the end of the day they’re my friends and they don’t have any issue with hanging out with him, but obviously they’re not his friends to be always hanging out with him 24/7. I’ve talked to him so many times about trying to make friends and the answer is always the same “ I don’t want friends” “ I can’t make friends” but everybody needs friends. They can’t always just click onto their partner and their partner’s friends.

It’s to a point where I feel guilty going out to hang out with my friends without him because I feel bad just leaving him at home on his own so I always invite him with me and my friends. But I obviously do want time with just my friends without him always being there, but if I don’t invite him, he’s just gonna be lonely. I know it’s not easy to make new friends, but the thing is he has opportunities too. People have asked him to hang out which he has declined. People try to talk to him when we’re on night out he just ignores them or he’s just dry and states that he doesn’t want to be friends with them. He seems to hate every person that tries to talk to him. And it’s draining for me. It’s not that my boyfriend has social anxiety and he’s afraid speaking to people because he is a very outgoing person when you talk to him he just prefers to latch on me.

TLDR - bf wont make friends and in my latches onto me and my freinds

Me [20f] my bf [20m] have been dating for round 4 Ish years but we’ve been best friends for years before dating. When we were friends, he had a lot of people to hang out with but he’s cut off a lot of those friends who were douche bags which is understandable. But now he’s just refusing to make any new friends. He does talk to some people, but he doesn’t hang out with them. It’s just you know snap chatting back-and-forth now and then. He does have one close friend who he hangs out with time to time but this friend is not a proper friend. He barely speaks to my boyfriend when they hang out like they mainly sit in silence and his friend doesn’t actually like plan to do anything fun it’s just sitting in a car and just chatting for a little bit.

My boyfriend depends on me and my friends to hang out with him, which I love hanging out with my boyfriend 24 seven but I do feel like he needs to have friends too. It’s always “ can you see if XYZ want to hang out today?” but at the end of the day they’re my friends and they don’t have any issue with hanging out with him, but obviously they’re not his friends to be always hanging out with him 24/7. I’ve talked to him so many times about trying to make friends and the answer is always the same “ I don’t want friends” “ I can’t make friends” but everybody needs friends. They can’t always just click onto their partner and their partner’s friends.

It’s to a point where I feel guilty going out to hang out with my friends without him because I feel bad just leaving him at home on his own so I always invite him with me and my friends. But I obviously do want time with just my friends without him always being there, but if I don’t invite him, he’s just gonna be lonely. I know it’s not easy to make new friends, but the thing is he has opportunities too. People have asked him to hang out which he has declined. People try to talk to him when we’re on night out he just ignores them or he’s just dry and states that he doesn’t want to be friends with them. He seems to hate every person that tries to talk to him. And it’s draining for me. It’s not that my boyfriend has social anxiety and he’s afraid speaking to people because he is a very outgoing person when you talk to him he just prefers to latch on me.

Tell me stories , advice , tips etc. I’m looking to backpack Asia but I’m worried for alot of things.I don’t know how much to bring, where to start.

Was it the best thing or worst decision u done ?

I’m 20 and I’ve been working at this retail job for nearly 3 years now and every week I’m losing motivation. I work full-time and I get two days off a week. I don’t get full weekends off maybe one day of the weekend and then one day during the week. My hours are all over the place one day could be in Work at 6 am the next day I could be in work till 10:30 pm. I don’t have a proper sleep schedule and It also affects my partner as he tends to stay up late when I come home late because he will just get woke up by me coming home from work even if I be quiet he’s a light sleeper.

Most days I don’t wanna go to work at all to appoint that sometimes I hope that I wake up with a cold so I have an excuse to call out. Many people will probably think why don’t you just get a new job but I’ve been trying for ages now and there’s just nothing in my area and even when I apply for jobs outside of my area I can never seem to get them or they’re either little part-time jobs or I don’t fit their requirements, etc. I’m fully qualified as an esthetician but I cannot find any jobs with this degree.

I would love to drop back down to power time maybe three days a week, but I need the money so I can’t. I’d also love to go to college and do teaching, but I don’t even have the energy for that.

I’m 20 and I’ve been working at this retail job for nearly 3 years now and every week I’m losing motivation. I work full-time and I get two days off a week. I don’t get full weekends off maybe one day of the weekend and then one day during the week. My hours are all over the place one day could be in Work at 6 am the next day I could be in work till 10:30 pm. I don’t have a proper sleep schedule and It also affects my partner as he tends to stay up late when I come home late because he will just get woke up by me coming home from work even if I be quiet he’s a light sleeper.

Most days I don’t wanna go to work at all to appoint that sometimes I hope that I wake up with a cold so I have an excuse to call out. Many people will probably think why don’t you just get a new job but I’ve been trying for ages now and there’s just nothing in my area and even when I apply for jobs outside of my area I can never seem to get them or they’re either little part-time jobs or I don’t fit their requirements, etc. I’m fully qualified as an esthetician but I cannot find any jobs with this degree.

I would love to drop back down to power time maybe three days a week, but I need the money so I can’t. I’d also love to go to college and do teaching, but I don’t even have the energy for that.

My mum has been dealing with an alcohol addiction for years now so I’ve kind of grown used to it, but I feel like eventually I’m going to lose her to it. When I was 12 years old, I started noticing my mum drinking every single evening it didn’t really bother me though as she’s an adult and she can drink if she pleases, overtime I started noticing she was drinking during the day she was drinking in the morning time until eventually it became my mum drinking 24 seven. I started noticing her being drunk pretty much every single day I watched her change into someone that she never was. I noticed she started falling into deep depression she would wake up early in the morning drink and cry than sleep for the day wake up drink again and this was repetitive every single day. I talked about it to my family. We tried getting her help put she just refuses.

She sometimes falls around the street drunk, go shopping drunk in public drunk and it’s very embarrassing for me. I moved out when I was around 16-ish because I just couldn’t deal with it anymore and I thought maybe if I moved out she would eventually have a realisation and change but it’s been about 7-8 years since I started noticing my mom’s alcohol addiction and nothing’s ever changed. It’s only getting worse. I just feel like I’m not gonna have my mom any much longer. She recently just lost her home and is practically homeless and she’s doing nothing to better her self

So me and this friend have been friends for years and this has never been an issue up until the past maybe four months. We hang out around three times a week some weeks more some weeks less, but each time we hang out she never has enough money or she either has no money for food, drinks, activities etc . At first I used to just pay for her and I never expected her to pay me back as I’m the type of friend that won’t sit there and eat food if my friend doesn’t have money for food, I want her to be included too. But after awhile, I started noticing how much I was spending on her so that’s when I started expecting the money back. She always paid me back which was good, but sometimes I’d have to wait a week two weeks for her to pay me back.

In my opinion, if you don’t have money to go for food or drinks then we shouldn’t go and maybe we could do something where we don’t have to spend money but a lot of the time it’s her suggesting to go , for instance she would ask to go to McDonald’s we would pull up to McDonald’s and then all of a sudden she would say she doesn’t have money or she doesn’t have enough money and then I put on the spot paying for her because I don’t want her to be left out. It’s every single time we hang out now I’m left paying and I’m tired of it. I don’t want to be a bank for her. The last time we hung out, she kept asking me and my bf to buy her drinks and she told me she would pay me back in about two weeks time I said okay, I then proceeded to text her about it two weeks after asking her if she has the chance to send the money she replies acting confused saying what money?. I explained the money from the last time we hung out she proceeds to get angry and starts saying stuff like oh well I told you I’ll pay back when I have money I don’t have money. You’re just gonna have to wait, she also said “ as my friend who has more money I would expect you to just say it’s okay”

I do have more money than this friend, but that does not mean I have to just throw money at her every time she asks and although she does usually pay me back, I’m tired of having to loan money to her I just wanna be able to hang out without worrying about having to pay for her too. She doesn’t just ask me but she keeps asking my bf too and he’s tired of it.

Me (20f)and my bf (20m)have been together for nearly 5 years now. Our sex life has been always pretty much the same. I do enjoy our sex but I do want to try different things because we been together so long it’s always the same not in the sense it gets boring but I do want to spice things up a bit. I’ve had lots of conversations about this to him such as wha he likes,kinks, interests and I just get nothing each time. Which makes no sense everyone has kinks/ interests even if it’s something small. He gets pretty shy and awkward on this topic even tho we been together so long and nothing is ever awkward between us apart from this topic.

I don’t even wear lingerie, he thinks it’s pointless. Just nothing kinky nothing. Just same thing each time. There’s barely any dirty talk compared to when we first got together. Im worried in the future as i feel like im gonna eventually get bored of it as it’s the same each time for 5 years now. Same position’s same everything. He never really seems to be that interested in sex anymore for instance we spent a night Ina hotel and I said “we forgot condoms” he goes “why would we even need them”. We don’t have sex as often as we use to,I thought maybe because we just together so often now but I don't know. He had a higher sex drive than me so it doesn't make sense.

I don't know what to do talking to him has been pointless
I need advice.
Tldr: bf is very vanilla
.

so at the moment my country is experiencing a heat wave of over 30°, which is very hot for my country. The other day I had woren a pair of biker shorts to my work that were around the same length as everybody else’s shorts,, she wasn’t happy with them because she thought they were too short, and I explained they were the same length as everybody else’s shorts, she then explained that it was because they were too tight. Even tho we were allowed to wear leggings anyways I said OK and I didn’t wear that shorts again. I went and bought a baggy pair of shorts similar to men’s shorts.

I come in the next day with the shorts that look like men’s shorts. She comes up to me and says they will do just for today, but make sure you keep them pulled down. These shorts are the same shorts that everybody else in my work is wearing girls and men. They are appropriate length and they aren't tight all. And I made sure of this before getting them as I didn’t want the same mistake happening from the day before where she taught. My shorts were too tight and too short.

She hasn’t said anything to anybody else about their shorts in my workplace when there’s people who are wearing shorts that are tighter and shorter than what I was wearing, I think this is quite unfair and only seems to be an issue to my shorts and nobody else’s. If I wear shorts that are any longer than what I wore, I might as well just be wearing leggings at this point.

so at the moment my country is experiencing a heat wave of over 30°, which is very hot for my country. The other day I had woren a pair of biker shorts to my work that were around the same length as everybody else’s shorts,, she wasn’t happy with them because she thought they were too short, and I explained they were the same length as everybody else’s shorts, she then explained that it was because they were too tight. Even tho we were allowed to wear leggings anyways I said OK and I didn’t wear that shorts again. I went and bought a baggy pair of shorts similar to men’s shorts.

I come in the next day with the shorts that look like men’s shorts. She comes up to me and says they will do just for today, but make sure you keep them pulled down. These shorts are the same shorts that everybody else in my work is wearing girls and men. They are appropriate length and they aren't tight all. And I made sure of this before getting them as I didn’t want the same mistake happening from the day before where she taught. My shorts were too tight and too short.

She hasn’t said anything to anybody else about their shorts in my workplace when there’s people who are wearing shorts that are tighter and shorter than what I was wearing, I think this is quite unfair and only seems to be an issue to my shorts and nobody else’s. If I wear shorts that are any longer than what I wore, I might as well just be wearing leggings at this point.

I work retail and at the moment we are experiencing a heat wave. I love hot weather hut not when I have to work I get very light headed, headaches, tired, lazy, sweaty and cranky. I'm struggling in work this week with the weather.

I wore shorts to work today around my knees and my manger complained there too short even though the men in work have shorter shorts then me. She than complained there too tight ( there as tight as leggings and we are aloud to wear leggings so how does this make sense) I don't want to wear leggings the rest of the week as I will mostly get heat exhaustion from the heat. I'm unsure what to do I don't feel great in work with the heat. I love the heat when I'm relaxing or spending the day doing something fun, but I struggle when it's work as my job is a hands on fast paced job which I'm constantly lifting things and being on My feet which makes me weak in this weather.

What can I do?

I work retail and at the moment we are experiencing a heat wave. I love hot weather hut not when I have to work I get very light headed, headaches, tired, lazy, sweaty and cranky. I'm struggling in work this week with the weather.

I wore shorts to work today around my knees and my manger complained there too short even though the men in work have shorter shorts then me. She than complained there too tight ( there as tight as leggings and we are aloud to wear leggings so how does this make sense) I don't want to wear leggings the rest of the week as I will mostly get heat exhaustion from the heat. I'm unsure what to do I don't feel great in work with the heat. I love the heat when I'm relaxing or spending the day doing something fun, but I struggle when it's work as my job is a hands on fast paced job which I'm constantly lifting things and being on My feet which makes me weak in this weather.

What can I do?

So at the moment we are experiencing a heat wave of 30*, my country doesn’t really experience this hot weather. So i took pictures of my shorts I own at home and showed my manger( manger one) she said no to all my shorts so i cut a pair of leggings, which she said were fine to wear. I ended up finding a pair of my biker shorts which were a slight bit shorter than the leggings I cut but not a big difference. I come to work with them on my manger looks me up and down multiple times and says “ I don’t know about those shorts we will have to see what the other manger says"

Fast forward an hour then other manger( manger two) comes in she comes to me and says there too short ( the men in my work ate wearing shorter shorts than me) so I say" well what about there shorts? " (manger one) says "we can have a conversation with then about this too" expect the guys have been wearing there shorts for a month now and they never had an issue with them they only said they would have a conversation because I mentioned how unfair it is for then to be aloud shorter shorts than me. (Manager two) says "well it's acc not about them being short it's about then being tight"but all the girls wear leggings every day which are tight.

None of this makes sense, one minute it's there too short but when I mention the mens shorts all of a sudden it's to do with them being tight? But we wear leggings. Everyone is saying to buy a pair of jorts but I own a pair but there blue and we have to wear only black trousers but I'm not spending 40-50€ on black jorts only to wear to work for the summer when the lads font have to.

Does this count as sexism?

Me (20f) my bf (20m) have been dating for 4 years. Every summer he gets hayfever really bad ( I’m lucky I don’t get it). He suffers from a runny nose, swollen eyes, itchy eyes and non stop coughing. I understand this is out of his control to stop his coughing but it’s to a point it’s frustrating me. We go to bed he’s coughing, we wake up he’s coughing, eating food he’s coughing , just non stop.

His coughs are so LOUDDDD and irritating it’s like shaking the house when he coughs. It is actually giving me a head ache with the amount of coughing he is doing. Every time I talk he just bursts out coughing it’s hard holding a conversation without him just coughing the whole time. People maybe think I’m dramatic being mad over someone coughing but living with someone who has been coughing 24/7 for the past month is really infuriating because it’s not just a lil cough he has to cough so loud that u can hear him from the other side of the house.

He has medicine for his coughs that he has to take daily but he’s only taken it like once this summer so far so no wonder his coughs haven’t got better. He won’t drink water to help his throat, he won’t eat cough sweats nothing.

Me (20f) my bf (20m) have been together for around 4 years now. He got his license maybe two or three months ago. He picks me up from work every day and sometimes drops me off I don’t ask him to he just wants to ( I don’t drive) but I never expect him to unless it’s raining and I don’t wanna walk in the rain. Before he started driving his dad would pick up his mom every day from work but when he got his license his dad asked him to pick his mom up some days and he could do it the other days.( which is fair)
But past few weeks his dad barely ever picks up his mum now he doesn’t maybe once a week and my boyfriend has left doing it every other day, his mum works six days a week, not five like an average person.

The issue is not me being mad about him picking up his mum, but it’s annoying every single day when we have plans and we basically have to always work our plans around his mom’s work schedule. She doesn’t work a 9 to 5. She has her own business so the time she can finish at can be random like 7 pm in the evening 10:30 at night. He could be dropping her to work at 9 am. He could be dropping her to work maybe 12 pm. Every time we have plans, we have to work it around when his mum is going to work or when she’s finished work and I’m sick of it.

One time we were heading out for the evening when he receives a phone call from his mum asking him to pick her up. He explained that he was heading out as he has plans with me and he basically had no choice but to turn back and go and pick her up I was very frustrated about this as we were already like maybe 20 minutes from home and we had to drive back just to pick her up when his dad was sitting at home and he could’ve done it. Another time we were with my friends, but we had to drive back to go pick up his mum only for her to change the time that she wanted to be picked up at so we had to change our plans with our friends again.

She gets very mad about my boyfriend picking me up from work, even though like I said, I don’t expect him to that’s solely his decision. She will say things like why are you picking her up? Just let her go home from Work herself she doesn’t need you to pick her up, et cetera, and she says it’s quite often. Yesterday morning the weather was very bad and I did not want to walk to work and there was no Ubers available at that time so my boyfriend offered to drop me before he went to work. His mom turned around and was like why are you even dropping her to work? She can just go by herself.

Me(20f) and my bf (20m) have been dating for around 4 years. He is considered obese for his age. When me and my boyfriend first got together, he was in a good shape and then I noticed as our relationship went on. He started to put on weight. I didn’t really notice this at first, but I’ve started to really notice it within the past year, I’ve tried talking to him about it and telling him in a nice way that he is putting on weight and that maybe we should try making healthier meals going on walks etc.

He went on a mad diet for maybe two months constantly working out every single day going to work out classes multiple times a week to a point that he was overworking himself and I got concerned and I told him he should cut down on the diet and overworking himself because doing too much is only gonna cause harm to your body rather than good. So he stopped going to the workout classes and his diet and blamed me for it I didn’t fully stop him from doing this. I just told him that he needs to cut it down before he does serious harm to his body.

I keep telling him on the regular about his weight because we are only in our 20s and I’m concerned about his health ,he keeps telling me he’s gonna work on his weight but he never does. He drinks water maybe once a week and he’s always eating unhealthy foods and energy drink drinks I understand that he’s insecure about his weight and I don’t want to hurt him, but he needs to take his weight seriously as he’s considered obese for his age. I’m noticing his weight gain is getting more and more every single month to appoint that I don’t even see his jawline anymore. He’s just refusing to take his health seriously and I feel like he’s just letting his weight go considering he’s in a relationship
that is healthy and long lasting.

Tldr: bf doesn’t take health or weight seriously

Me (20f) and my bf (20m) have been dating for around 4 years. He is considered obese for his age. When me and my boyfriend first got together, he was in a good shape and then I noticed as our relationship went on. He started to put on weight. I didn’t really notice this at first, but I’ve started to really notice it within the past year, I’ve tried talking to him about it and telling him in a nice way that he is putting on weight and that maybe we should try making healthier meals going on walks etc.

He went on a mad diet for maybe two months constantly working out every single day going to work out classes multiple times a week to a point that he was overworking himself and I got concerned and I told him he should cut down on the diet and overworking himself because doing too much is only gonna cause harm to your body rather than good. So he stopped going to the workout classes and his diet and blamed me for it I didn’t fully stop him from doing this. I just told him that he needs to cut it down before he does serious harm to his body.

I keep telling him on the regular about his weight because we are only in our 20s and I’m concerned about his health ,he keeps telling me he’s gonna work on his weight but he never does. He drinks water maybe once a week and he’s always eating unhealthy foods and energy drink drinks I understand that he’s insecure about his weight and I don’t want to hurt him, but he needs to take his weight seriously as he’s considered obese for his age. I’m noticing his weight gain is getting more and more every single month to appoint that I don’t even see his jawline anymore. He’s just refusing to take his health seriously and I feel like he’s just letting his weight go considering he’s in a relationship that is healthy and long lasting.