u/cloudsmemories

If you’re one of those annotation hat.ers then please keep scrolling. Thanks.
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I made a post like 3 days ago asking how to get over the fear of writing in books. I had a plan in mind of what I wanted to do, but that vanished today as soon as I stepped into the store to grab the supplies. I ended up finding some transparent post it notes. I’ll be using those and just writing on them instead of the actual pages. I knew they made some, but I didn’t know they sold them in stores. I wish they had the horizontal ones so that I could highlight things too. Technically, I still can but I’ll have to place 2 posts side by side. I don’t want to do that 😂 I’ll just be using brackets. I may purchase the horizontal ones at a later date or whenever I decide to read another classic. But yeah, if you want to start annotating too but still see the text and stuff then transparent sticky notes are the way to go.

I’ve also decided to not assign my tabs specific things. I’m just going to use which ever color I want when I want. I’m sure I’m going to end up writing on the post its what the tab is for anyways. Less for me to think about.

This video popped up on my YouTube feed and since I’m trying to get more into the group I decided to give it a watch since apparently they have way more music than I thought. There’s this song they sing starting at the 3:52 mark. I can’t figure out what it is. The person that uploaded the video linked 6 songs and none of them sound like this one to me. I don’t can’t speak or read Japanese, so I’m posting this here to see if y’all could give me the song title in English.

This post is just for fun, so please don’t come here to sprout negativity. People in bookish spaces love to do that, and it’s annoy.ing. Don’t like this kind of stuff then keep scrolling.

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I started The Count of Monte Cristo last week. I decided to do 5 chapters a day. It’s a classic, and I’m reading the penguin edition. My brain is not used to this kind of writing, and I wanted to take my time with it. I started reading for today, and I was just struggling. I have a hard time focusing already with anything I do. Reading this is making it worse which sucks because I’m really enjoying the story. I can barely get through a page though. I think my goal is simply going to be 1 chapter a day from now on and if I feel like continuing then I will. I’m not in a hurry to finish or anything, but I do like seeing progress when reading longer books. It’s like watching a TV show. Who only watches one episode before stopping? I don’t 😂

But yeah, what book(s) have taken you the longest to read and how long did it take you?

Sunday, I was at work and there was this young customer. She bought some stuff, but our card machine was doing what it occasionally does. Basically, her money was taken off her card but things didn’t go through on our end. I explained to her that it didn’t go through on our end and that she would need to swipe/tap/insert her card again. I also told her that her money would go back to her card. She proceeded to say that her money was taken and that she didn’t want to be charged twice. I explained things to her like 2-3 times, and she still wasn’t understanding. I decided to call the manager over because people are more likely to listen to her.

She came over and pretty much said the exact same thing I said. The manager then began to tap the screen says “all you had to tell her was that the tender was denied” or something like that. I instantly got annoyed because all she did was repeat what I said. I explained things to her 2-3 times. This isn’t the first time the manager has done something like this.

Maybe I’m overreacting but I just don’t like how she’s assuming I didn’t tell the customers a certain thing when I did. Multiple times at that. I don’t have the patience to be explaining things over and over, so I would much rather just call manager to have them explain things. I don’t need a repeat of what happened a couple months ago.

Edit: I dont understand what I’m being downvoted for. It seems like you people want to make it seem like I’ve done something wrong when I haven’t. I have no reason to immediately tell them that their payment will be reversed without them first bringing up how their money was taken out. People get notified when making purchases. I get notified all the time when I use apply pay or when I use my credit card.

Last week, a coworker of mine saw I had a tattoo and told me that when he first met me that he thought I was a “prude”. All I could do was fake laugh because wtf. I don’t understand the correlation but whatever. People treat those who are less social like we don’t do certain things and like certain things. It’s stupid. The comment honestly bothered me, but I’m not the type to express that. I’ll just laugh and smile until the interaction is done with.

I don’t really know why I’m asking this here because I’m sure that neurotypical people go through the same thing. I guess I feel like y’all could relate to people if making weird assumptions about you because of your autism.

I’m not autistic but there’s a high chance that I could be. If I am then it would explain my personality and how I interact with others. But yeah.

Edit: After reading some of the comments, I realized that the “prude” comment possibly had some sexual connotation to it. I do know that people often call people a “prude” in that way, BUT my brain didn’t register it as something sexual in that moment since the topic was me having a tattoo, and tattoos aren’t sexual. I thought he called me a “prude” because I don’t give off alternative vibes if that makes sense.

Due to something that happened at my job a couple months back, I decided to start the process of me going back to college. I officially start classes on the 24th of this month. I had to take out loans for this, but I don't care. I hate my job with a passion, so I want to work towards something better.

Anyways, I'm going back into this WITHOUT a plan. I've completed so much of my degree already that it was advised that I not change majors like I originally planned. I have a year and a semester left before I graduate, so it's understandable as to why I was told not to. The problem is that I have no idea what to work towards still. There's things I find interesting, but I don't think I have it in me to spend 6-7 years in university just to finally see a change in my life. I'm tired of being poor. I'm tired of working at a job that clearly isn't for me.

None of this wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't for the fact that I'm pushing 30. I don't think I have it in me to spend that long in uni when I'm already struggling in life. I feel like me not doing anything that fulfills me and makes me somewhat happy is the cause of my depression and anxiety. I spoke to a career counselor at my uni and that didn't help. I was basically told that going into research would be good for me. Would I like to? Maybe, but I don't really want to work towards that at my age. I don't want to hear "time passes anyways so just do what you're passionate about". Things keep happening unexpectedly, so I don't have the privilege to do that unfortunately.

I genuinely don't know what to do. If you haven't guessed already, I'm a psychology major. I had a plan years ago, but during my break out of university, things had changed. I realized that It was important for me to do something that suits my personality rather than something my heart isn't into. Unfortunately, my personality isn't what society favors, so it limits my options greatly.

It's like nothing interests me but if something does interest me then it takes a while to become and that's not what I want at this point in my life.

A customer came in to do a return. One of her items wasn’t on the receipt and I told her that. She immediately got an attitude with me. She proceeded to tell me that she bought the item yesterday as if the item was going to magically appear on the receipt. She even looked at her receipt afterwards to try and find it. She didn’t see it either. I asked her for her ID and she was huffing and puffing over it as if she was annoyed. I typed in her ID number and told her that she wouldn’t be getting the full price back since the item wasn’t on the receipt.

She began to go on and on and say that she used to work for the company and that we need better customer service. If you worked for this company then you should know how things go. Better customer service wouldn’t change the company’s policies.

I tried to not believe in the stereotypes during my time in retail, but I can’t help it atp because I’ve been at my current job for a little over a year, and there’s been a clear pattern in what I see and how my interactions go.

If you’re one of those people that get offended over things like this then please just exit this post. It’s common for people to track what they’ve read and stuff. That’s not a bad thing okay. This is a positive space and a positive space ONLY.

Anyways, I finished another book just now. I decided to see what my average rating is, and it’s lower than I thought. Then again, the majority of the books I’ve been reading this year haven’t been hitting as much, so it shouldn’t be a surprise to me 😂. I’ve had some 5 star books (not including manga). Some are over 4 stars. I’ve had more books be just mid and below than anything which is fine because reading is subjective of course. I predict that my average will be the same or below by the end of the year. I’ve been reading a lot of books that I don’t typically pick up, and I’m going to continue to. I’ve found some new favorites by doing that.

But yeah, what’s your average rating so far?

Edit: I forgot to say that my average rating is a 3.9.

I know y’all hate it when people are so negative about being a psych major, but I can’t help it 😂 I don’t necessarily regret being a psych major as much as others though. I just wish things in my life went differently. I still think psychology is interesting, but I don’t know what to work towards because I now realize that I don’t want to spend 6-8 more years in college. Neuropsychology interests me the most, but I’ll be in my mid 30’s by the time I finish. Before someone says “time passes anyways”, that’s a very true thing to say, but that doesn’t matter to me because of the age I am now and how things are going for me mentally and financially. I’m tired of suffering. It sucks working at a job that doesn’t fit you and causes you feel anxious everyday. I need to do something that’s fulfilling. Also, I don’t need a 6 figure job to be happy, but I should be able to live a comfortable life. But yeah, I made a list of other options. I was thinking about going into UX research or just becoming a research assistant since I don’t really care to be able to lead research projects. I don’t mind getting a master’s degree but a PhD is not something I want anymore or at least just for this moment.

But yeah, if you’re stuck as a psych major and kind of regret it, what are your plans?

I saw this post just now where a Once got a tattoo of Chaeyoung. I don’t want to police what people do to their own bodies, but I don’t understand why people get tattoos of actual people that aren’t their family. I genuinely think it’s weird because you don’t know them personally. Also, if they were to show Chaeyoung their tattoo and she not respond the way they want then I guarantee they’ll be here on Reddit and make a post how she was being rude or something. If I was an idol and someone showed me that they got a tattoo of me, I wouldn’t be complimenting it or expressing that I like it in any way shape or form. It’s just weird. I would genuinely be uncomfortable.

I checked my financial aid stuff just now and my loans have been applied and stuff which means that I'm officially back in college. I'm 27. I stopped attending university around 4-5 years ago. I'm worried that things will go down hill for me yet again. I left uni as a psych major, and I plan on staying a psych major because I'm almost done with the degree. I have 3 semesters left, and I'll be done. The problem is I still don't know what I'm going to do with that degree, and I've been thinking and researching for months. I have no strong passions. I spoke with a career counselor, and she basically said that I did, but It doesn't feel like it to me. There's things I care about, but I feel like when people say they have a passion that means that they love something so much that they're eager to talk about it with others. That not me at all. People say to not go to college unless you have a plan. It's been years, and I'm suffering more than when I was in college the first time around. I do really like my major though, so that should count for something. Idk maybe my classes will trigger some sort of feeling for me that'll help me decide once and for all. I just hope this doesn't turn out to be all for nothing.

I have 2 book subscriptions: BOTM & Aardvark. I signed up for these mainly because of how cheap they are, and I also like the idea behind them. I also thought this would help me branch out a bit when it came to my reading taste. Both of them together has been a 50/50 or 70/30 experience. Either I love the book(s) I chose with all my heart or the book was mid. Every time a book goes in my “get rid of” pile, I feel like I wasted my money 😂

You would think that would make me cancel them, but reading the clues, seeing what interests me, and then finally being able to pick a book satisfies my need to buy something. I’m suffering in life, and these book subscriptions are something I look forward to every month. I don’t go all out. On average I get like 2 books max. But yeah, it sucks being interested in a book and you finally read it and you just cannot get into it or it turns out to be extremely mid.

I’m trying to not force myself to read books that don’t have my attention within 50 pages (depending on genre), but I feel so bad when I do that ngl so I continue on. I know it’s not that serious, but I can’t help it 😂 Im probably only going to start getting books I’m strongly gravitating towards. The rest I can just get on Libby or physically at my library.

Technically, this should’ve been made yesterday but whatever. Yesterday, I was finally able to not deal with customers as much. I want to say at most 7 people spoke to me but only because they need to go to restroom or they were looking for the fitting rooms. I was out on the floor putting clothes away the majority of the time. When I was finished, I was able to spend the rest of my shift in the back processing clothes.

When I walked in, the manager asked me why I stayed an hour over the day before (Saturday). I told her. I feel like that’s probably why she had me out on the floor. When you’re out on the floor or stocking, you able to actually leave on time. Saturday was very very busy. I wasn’t able to get off the register until 10 minutes past I was supposed to get off. On top of that, I still needed to do my tasks that needed to be done before I left. The other supervisors would tell me to stay on the registers to help which is why I end up staying so late.

She told me to start telling the supervisors that I needed to get off the register 15 minutes before I’m supposed to get off. That won’t last long because of things get.

My therapy appointment was canceled a couple weeks ago, and my therapist called me just now. I didn’t answer because I was in the middle of something. I genuinely don’t want to call her back. I don’t want to continue on with therapy. I still feel like it’s not going to help me. The things she’s been having me do and the things I would share doesn't seem to be helping me get what I need out of this. 

I know why I’m anxious. I know why I’m depressed. Those feelings aren’t going to go away just by having me do these stupid tasks I’ve been having to do. The problem is deeper. I even explained that, but it doesn’t seem like anything is progressing. I feel like my anxiety and depression are just being treated as separate things rather than a small part of something bigger. 

But yeah, I feel like not calling her back is unprofessional but I hate it when I say I don’t want to do something and then I’m questioned about it. I’m thinking about getting tested through prosper health since I would get the answer I need without all this bs. I would do a neuropsych eval (if that’s what it’s called), but I don’t know if my insurance will cover that. Also, I have more serious things going on right now that’s taking a lot of money from me. Idk.

I guess I’m open to advice. I genuinely don’t know what to do. I think I’m just impatient because I’ve just been living life struggling for 27 years, and I want to have the actual answer(s) to my problems quick so that I can finally make sense of things.

I’m curious about something which is why I’m asking. I think I got the first book from aardvark when I first signed up then I got the second book when it came out. I read the first one twice now and felt like it wasn’t for me. I read the second book and felt the same. Both times, I used an audiobook. I tried to immersive read them, but I just could not do it. I finished the books, but I wasn’t immersed in the story. I know the 3rd book in the series is coming out soon, and I kind of want to get it. I was set on giving this series up, but I know that for a lot of people audiobooks can have an effect on their reading experience. This is probably the case for me. I want to give this series one last try but without the audiobook to see if my feelings change.

But yeah, if you read the series, did you like it? Also, if you read this series with and without the audiobook, did it change your opinion in any way?

The other day I saw a post from this subreddit about Sukish being released, and I decided to finally check out their entire discography..or at least all the songs that are under AKB48 on Apple Music. I ended up adding around 80 songs total which is good imo considering the groups overall vibe and what I typically lean towards when listening to Japanese artists. I would love to learn the members names, but I don’t know how possible that would for me considering I don’t watch Japanese variety content. I don’t even really watch Korean variety content anymore (I’m a K-pop fan). If y’all have any recommendations to help learn the members, I would like that. But yeah, my favorites are still Heavy Rotation and Jya-Ba-Jya.

Now……onto their sister groups I guess 😭😭😭

Edit: Excuse me if I said anything wrong. AKB48 is a large group, and I’ve always found getting into the group to be very intimidating. I listened to whatever was available on the app I listen to music on. If there’s more than that then my bad.

Every time we get new managers, I’ll get told different things about what is allowed and what isn’t allowed.

Yesterday, a customer came in to return some shoes. She didn’t have her receipt, but we were able to pull up her purchase with her card. One of the items had the tag on it, but it was rubbed off a bit, so I couldn’t scan it. I told her that she could go grab the exact same pair, and I’ll scan it. The item wasn’t scanning so I asked a supervisor about it. She didn’t understand why it wasn’t scanning either, so she got the manager. The manager comes over and was like “from now on don’t tell a customer to go find the item off the shelves”. She was very aggressive about it. She also said something about how when we do that an item is getting taken out the system which makes no sense since it’s a return but okay. I only told her that she could go find another pair because that’s what other managers would tell them to do, and they were okay with us doing it too. We ended up not being able to do that return because the item had a different sku number than what’s on the receipt she didn’t have.

Customers would buy things like perfume and underwear. I was told that those kinds of items couldn’t be returned then we got a new manager, and he said that people could return anything in the store. I wonder what our newer manager thinks about that. She probably will say it’s not allowed. I also recently found out that perfume over a certain price needed to go in the jewelry case by the register. I’ve been at this job for over a year, and no one told me that. I was just told that perfume goes into the security boxes and put on the floor on the shelves. But yeah, it’s annoying doing something for a long period of time and then someone new comes in and things switch up. That causes a lot of confusion for everyone.

I’ve always had a hard time paying for college. It’s why I ended up stop going a couple years ago. I plan to go back in the fall. I am receiving some financial aid, but it’s not enough to cover the costs completely. I’m most likely am going to take out a loan for this semester. I want to try and avoid taking out so many. I’ve tried using those scholarship sites before back when I was in community college and never received anything. I don’t mind trying again, but I don’t want this to feel like a waste of time again.

I’m mainly looking to hear from older students (21+) that have gone back to college or is just starting, but I guess anyone can comment still.

My island is like 90% done. I have 3 main builds to make and then I just need to fill the rest with trees. I plan to work on my last villager yard tomorrow, and I need some ideas. The yard is for Del, BUT he isn’t a permanent villager, so I would like ideas that could fit any villager of any gender of any personality type.

Some builds I’ve done so far includes a bookstore, an arts and crafts shop, a flower shop, a post office, a play ground, a fishing area, an ice cream shop, and a carnival/amusement park area.

For villager yards I’ve done a tea party area, a basketball court, a vegetable garden, a scrapbooking area, a picnic area, a gardening area, a yard sale area, a very very tiny bbq spot, an orchard/bakery spot, and a laundry area with an outside sitting area.

I’m open to any ideas. My island doesn’t necessarily have super strict theme besides it being green and pink. I’m sure I can make whatever ideas work though or at least most of them lol