u/ecthelion-elessedil

I started anxiety meds and while it helps to be less driven by my emotions, it is not helping much with anxiety, since I figured that my anxiety directly come from social awkwardness.

Even if I was not socially anxious, I never knew how to make interaction and be appropriate, what I am supposed to say to strangers, if I’m even supposed to say anything at all, how to stand, and the amount of eye contact I’m supposed to do, and my mind go completely blank.

Somehow, my social anxiety protects me from embarrassment, but I still overthink afterwards and I m afraid people think I don’t like them for bad reasons.

I feel like nothing can change my social awkwardness. I’m 31 now. But I wish I could overthink less.

I get very confused. My psychiatrist ask me questions about my difficulties and after I listed my difficulties she doesn’t answer anything and ask me different questions.

Whenever I feel overwhelmed i end up screaming and biting my arms, which is not healthy for people around me but I’m also scared I might damage my muscles by doing so and I instantly regret afterwards.

I’m looking for healthy coping mechanisms.

I’m already on anxiety meds and I feel it’s not helping and with the heat nowadays I get on nerves even faster. I’m already on behavioral therapy.

I have had my iPhone 11 since 2022 and it functions well at the exception that the phone is overheating and the battery dies very fast. I only changed the battery last November (and several times before that).

I never had androids smartphones before, but heard Samsung is good quality and the battery in the A50 last well.

I can’t work and don’t have the ressources to buy anything more expensive.

What is the best option ?

I heard the A50 has no more update, is it still good to use ? Or would it be better to look for replacing my battery ? Any option would cost the same price.

When I was a kid I was very creative. I wrote tons of stories in different formats, novels, comics, even tried writing theater pieces, I was never out of ideas.

As an adult, I am constantly tired, unmotivated, and my brain feel foggy most of the time so it’s complicated to write stories, though I may also be confronted to the bane of self doubts and perfectionism, but even when I try not to be perfect and want to write, oftentimes I just can’t.

For long I had thought that I just changed and my imagination faded becoming an adult, despite I still have characters, daydreams (though those are mostly repetitive and most of the time I imagine being my character resting for I am too tired for anything more complex) and stories.

The doctors whom I am seeing think I may be autistic and after reading more experiences I consider it is a possibility, note that I have not yet passed additional tests.

I was suggested my brain fogs and lack of motivation issues may be autistic burn out, and looking at the symptoms I also have gastrointestinal issues that can also be caused by diagnosed generalized anxiety.

The problem is that I have a kid whom I am caring for alone and I am already resting when he is at school (and I stress myself to use that time efficiently and be productive but I often fail). So if I am indeed burned out that is not something that is about to change anytime soon.

I am so slow at being productive at anything that I would not mind immortality. Wasting time is a big fear despite its already what I m doing too much.

However when I was a kid and I had school I was still very productive and creative at home so I don’t know if it’s really a burn out.

Maybe it’s also depression. Or both.

Any advices are welcome.

When I was a kid I was very creative. I wrote tons of stories in different formats, novels, comics, even tried writing theater pieces, I was never out of ideas.

As an adult, I am constantly tired, unmotivated, and my brain feel foggy most of the time so it’s complicated to write stories, though I may also be confronted to the bane of self doubts and perfectionism, but even when I try not to be perfect and want to write, oftentimes I just can’t.

For long I had thought that I just changed and my imagination faded becoming an adult, despite I still have characters, daydreams (though those are mostly repetitive and most of the time I imagine being my character resting for I am too tired for anything more complex) and stories.

The doctors whom I am seeing think I may be autistic and after reading more experiences I consider it is a possibility, note that I have not yet passed additional tests.

I was suggested my brain fogs and lack of motivation issues may be autistic burn out, and looking at the symptoms I also have gastrointestinal issues that can also be caused by diagnosed generalized anxiety.

The problem is that I have a kid whom I am caring for alone and I am already resting when he is at school (and I stress myself to use that time efficiently and be productive but I often fail). So if I am indeed burned out that is not something that is about to change anytime soon.

I am so slow at being productive at anything that I would not mind immortality. Wasting time is a big fear despite its already what I m doing too much.

However when I was a kid and I had school I was still very productive and creative at home so I don’t know if it’s really a burn out.

Maybe it’s also depression. Or both.

Any advices are welcome.

I have had my iPhone 11 since 2022 and it functions well at the exception that the phone is overheating and the battery dies very fast. I only changed the battery last November (and several times before that).

I never had androids smartphones before, but heard Samsung is good quality and the battery in the A50 last well.

What is the best option ?

I won’t take any more recent phone and it’s not debatable considering that I don’t work so I can’t afford anything more expensive.

Replacing the battery or taking a Samsung Galaxy A50 is around the same price.

Posting here, because I feel only other kin and people with immersive/ maladaptive daydreaming would understand.

“My” paracosm for the past almost three years now have been the Forgotten Realms, in the body of my Drow Druid (I am also drowkin/ elf kin).

They were raised by an half wood elf Druid who lives in an isolated house in the forest, and around the age of 30, spent five years to a circle of Druids (where their adoptive mother used to be an apprentice herself in her youth and has been a full member for a long time), though they never felt accepted there, then after their adoptive mother death they ended joining a community of Drow in the south. (Note that this is very summarized).

I have been daydreaming of this one story (on first pov) almost every nights and have many notes about it, also started writing a fic.

Until yesterday. I rewatched the Dnd Movie Honor and Thieves and now I started imagining that instead, they grew up in a wood elf village that I made up, raised by the same adoptive mother (but she is only an herbalist in this version), and instead of Druid they get to learn the skills of a ranger. Same as in the first version, they never really get acceptance so after their mother death they leave to find Drow community.

The problem with the new version is:

1. I really got attached to the first version.

Now I don’t know what to do.

So here is my question:

\- Did major elements of your paracosm or even of your parame/ persona changed since you first have them ? If so, how do you handle the changes ?

\- Or: do you have several alternative versions of your characters story ?

I need guidance to handle this situation.

Very occasionally, I have what seems to be pulsatile tinnitus: as if my heart was beating in my ear. It only happens in my right ear, and every time it happened, I was laid on my bed.

Few things to note: I also have hyperthyroidism (graves) which I’m treated for, and it seems like my tension is often a bit high but only very slightly so it didn’t alarmed doctors. I had heart surgery for aortic valve coarctation as a baby. I have generalized anxiety.

Is pulsatile tinnitus that is only punctual worth of any concern ?

I don’t currently have a doctor, since mine didn’t took my hyperthyroidism symptoms seriously which led me to be hospitalized for one week and now I’m trying to find a new one.

It is early and I m really struggling with words, apologies for that.

It's been a month since I gave my drawing tablet to the repair place. A whole month since I've been waiting for it to return in vain. I have zero news of it. No response to any of my messages or calls attempts. I'm crying.

Drawing is my only worth. The one and only thing I can do. I feel useless without it, like a total failure.

I miss drawing so much! Traditional drawing just isn’t the same. Ofc I started with traditional but I suck at it and it makes me feel even more miserable, because when I draw I need to redo things twenty times before I get it right, and this isn’t possible with traditional drawing, and in the end, they aren’t real illustrations. I’m crying! I’m so angry! Someone in the reviews said they waited 5 MONTHS to get their computer back! I can’t take it no more. By then I’ll have forgotten how to draw. I’m in the middle of an identity crisis because I realize that without my art I am worth nothing.

I can't take it anymore. It's been a month since I gave my drawing tablet to the repair place. A whole month since I've been waiting for it to return in vain. I have zero news of it. No response to any of my messages or calls attempts. I'm crying.

Drawing is my only worth. The one and only thing I can do. I feel useless without it, like a total failure.

I miss drawing so much! Traditional drawing just isn’t the same. Ofc I started with traditional but I suck at it and it makes me feel even more miserable, because when I draw I need to redo things twenty times before I get it right, and this isn’t possible with traditional drawing, and in the end, they aren’t real illustrations. I’m crying! I’m so angry! Someone in the reviews said they waited 5 MONTHS to get their computer back! I can’t take it no more. By then I’ll have forgotten how to draw. I’m in the middle of an identity crisis because I realize that without my art I am worth nothing.

I feel so drained to the point that it becomes physically painful and I want to cry and sh all that because I can’t be alone enjoying my hobbies. I feel incredibly selfish and childish and an awful person. I tried to change many times and always fails. I want to be a healthy adult person for my relatives but I don’t know how because in this situation I feel trapped.

I feel so drained to the point that it becomes physically painful and I want to cry and self harm all that because I can’t be alone enjoying my hobbies. I feel incredibly selfish and childish and an awful person. I tried to change many times and always fails. I want to be a healthy adult person for my relatives but I don’t know how because in this situation I feel trapped.

Could it be asthma ? I had it as a kid, and have allergy. I have a slight discomfort breathing but no other symptoms. I have chronic allergies that last all the year but this I’m used to. Not asking for diagnosis, just an opinion, because my doctor is extremely bad, missed my hyperthyroidism twice which caused it to get so bad that I ended one week to the urgency care.

I hate myself. There is nothing positive about myself, at all. Except the fact that I can draw. That’s the only single positive thing about me. And even then. I m 31 and some 18 years olds can draw much better than me.

I hate my face, that has no harmony and is just plain ugly.

I hate my body and my curves. I hate my voice that becomes higher pitched because of my social anxiety. Both make me dysphoric. Especially since I read high pitched voice means you are trying to flirt or charm people.

Literally everything is dislikable and annoying about me.

I hate my brain, that is foggy half the time. That isn’t smart and can’t remember anything interesting. I hate that I can’t express myself properly hence no one would even give me a try to take my time to express what I want to say.

I hate being so scared and anxious about everything. I hate that I am scared of spiders which makes me feel like a fake nature lover and also make me dysphoric.

I hate my skin color that is just bland.

There is not a single thing that is interesting or unique about myself and I hate it.

I am uninteresting, annoying, stupid, and ugly.

Since childhood, my biggest dream is to awaken in a different body.

I thought it would get better growing up, but it’s only getting worse.

Is it normal to feel this ? When I try to imagine myself as he way outside people see me from the picture that appear in the mirror, it feels fake, as if this person was a stranger. My physical me doesnt feel like the real me. I imagine myself as my fictional characters instead, and my body gives me dysphoria. I feel that the person I am in real life is boring and annoying and a stranger. I am 31.

I have minor allergies during all the year, and easily catch rhinitis (both non allergic and allergic depending the circumstances) at the slightest change in weather, and after I caught Covid, the symptoms became much worse and unbearable.

As I am writing this, I have a disgusting, absolutely awful taste in the throat, thick mucus that spoils the taste of everything I eat, and I also smell it in my nose. Sometimes it also makes me throw up and I feel like I am Gollum.

Is there any cure besides the usual spray for nose and throat to diminish the symptoms? In case of allergies I just take cetirizine but when it’s non allergic there is nothing much to do.

I love cozy questing but anything with a timer is my greatest nemesis especially considering that I have bad direction sense so just finding the right direction is already a challenge in itself. I have anxiety and those quests just stress me instead of having fun. But I m also a completionist so i also feel bad dropping those to complete the main quest instead… idk what should I do. I have not touched my game for a while because of this.