u/lordofthstrings

I was diagnosed before the implementation of levels but I assume I would be considered level 2. Not "obviously" autistic. I can go out into the world and no one would ever know. But it costs me horribly. I'm constantly burnt out, can't work, have multiple chronic illnesses, a fairly rigid routine that keeps me from losing my mind. My grandest ambition in life is just to someday be able to live independently, maybe with a partner if I'm lucky.

I can communicate well enough to maintain relationships but my rigid routine and limited energy makes it difficult to find someone people who "get" me or who I don't just feel so wildy different from that I feel like I need a 17 point PowerPoint for them to understand me and accept me enough to feel safe being myself.

Don't even get me started on my special interests either. I'm really into Marvel, DC, Star Wars, and the game Destiny 2. I've heard that those are supposed to be relatively common autistic interests, yet somehow I have not been able to find practically anyone I actually click with who likes them.

It just feels like I'm not "normal" enough to fit in with level 1's or neurotypicals, they can't relate to my level of rigidity, my lack of employment, the help I need from my family, or my level of limitations when it comes to my energy but Level 3's can't relate to my understanding of the social game and how I communicate and my ability to mask. The same goes for me though, I can't relate any more to them than they can to me. I can logically understand most types of people and it's not like I can't empathize or anything. It's just different from that embodied sense of having a shared experience of existence with another person.

I was diagnosed before the implementation of levels but I assume I would be considered level 2. Not "obviously" autistic. I can go out into the world and no one would ever know. But it costs me horribly. I'm constantly burnt out, can't work, have multiple chronic illnesses, a fairly rigid routine that keeps me from losing my mind. My grandest ambition in life is just to someday be able to live independently, maybe with a partner if I'm lucky.

I can communicate well enough to maintain relationships but my rigid routine and limited energy makes it difficult to find someone people who "get" me or who I don't just feel so wildy different from that I feel like I need a 17 point PowerPoint for them to understand me and accept me enough to feel safe being myself.

Don't even get me started on my special interests either. I'm really into Marvel, DC, Star Wars, and the game Destiny 2. I've heard that those are supposed to be relatively common autistic interests, yet somehow I have not been able to find practically anyone I actually click with who likes them.

It just feels like I'm not "normal" enough to fit in with level 1's or neurotypicals, they can't relate to my level of rigidity, my lack of employment, the help I need from my family, or my level of limitations when it comes to my energy but Level 3's can't relate to my understanding of the social game and how I communicate and my ability to mask. The same goes for me though, I can't relate any more to them than they can to me. I can logically understand most types of people and it's not like I can't empathize or anything. It's just different from that embodied sense of having a shared experience of existence with another person.

I’m not just looking for someone who consumes the same things I do. Oh no, I’m looking for the super nerds. The people who are locked the fuck in. The people who keep up with the news, watch analysis videos, and are genuinely obsessed and passionate. Give me the over-the-moon excitement. I want someone messaging me, “Oh my God, did you see this?!” and then we’re talking about what it means, what they’re going to do next, what questions we have, the speculation, the appreciation, the nuance, the emotional themes! To me that's the best, most beautiful way to connect with someone. Over the things that light us up with joy.

Disclaimer: I'm AuDHD and my life is a tragic tale. These tragedies are sort of woven into the fabric of my life so they're going to come up in regular conversation. The moment you ask me what I do for work, bam, it's going to be there. I'm not looking for a therapist friend or anything (I'm actually the therapist friend so payment will be due when services are rendered!), I just feel the need to put it out there that circumstances beyond my control have made my life very difficult and at this point in my life I'm not about hiding that.

I now find myself in my 30s, in the process of unmasking, really longing for good friends who I can be myself with, and friend making apps really suck so here I am on Reddit seeing if anyone is interested.

If I wrote a book about my life I'd call it "A Series of Unfortunate Events" but unfortunately Lemony Snicket beat me to the punch on that one. It's a sad, tragic story but I'm not just looking for someone to tell a sob story to or anything (I have a therapist for that), it's just that it inevitably comes up when I have to tell people what I do for work or that I'm not comfortable meeting up yet, I just want friends who can meet me with some patience, empathy, kindness and even curiosity as I honestly don't mind questions about my situation, I welcome them actually.

As far as interests and activities go I love to nerd out about Marvel and Star Wars, to share and compare theories with people, and the movie theater is my happy place. I'm a big gamer too. I usually play shooters and survival games but if I actually got enough friends together I'd like to play some friendslop and party games. I'm really passionate about music as well. I especially like metalcore 🤘 Once I open up I'm quite the comedian too. My sense of humor is absurdist I love puns. The harder you groan, the bigger I grin lol.

I'd love to start by chatting here and maybe play some games once I'm comfortable, maybe even meet up from time to time if my health allows. If any of this sounds like someone you'd like to be friends with or you know someone who might be a good fit feel free to DM me!

I'm really struggling right now and I could use someone to talk to. I don't really feel comfortable getting into the specifics on Reddit, but suffice to say I have friends but I don't have many people I can truly be myself with. I've tried groups, but I tend to get lost in them because I'm autistic and shy. And on top of the things I'm struggling with, of which there are many, every time I get excited about something I desperately want to share it with someone but no one I know is excited about the things I love. D23 was a big one for me recently, I was so fucking hyped about all the Star Wars and Marvel stuff, and I just had no one to talk to about it. That was really depressing.

I want people who aren't going to judge me or try to give me advice. I'm not looking for a therapist or someone to fix my problems. I'm really just looking for a soft place to land. A kind voice who actually wants to know me and what's going on, and who is curious and asks questions rather than assuming they know me. I also want people I can text or see and go, “Oh my God, did you see this new thing? Isn't it crazy?” and have them go, “Oh my God, yeah, I'm so hyped!.”

I don't want to pretend I'm in a good place or hide the fact that I'm struggling, but I also don't want that to be all there is because I'm full of so much enthusiasm and love for life too. I want to be able to be fully myself with someone instead of having to pick which parts of myself I'm going to share.

I'm really struggling right now and I could use someone to talk to. I don't really feel comfortable getting into the specifics on Reddit, but suffice to say I have friends but I don't have many people I can truly be myself with. I've tried groups, but I tend to get lost in them because I'm autistic and shy. And on top of the things I'm struggling with, of which there are many, every time I get excited about something I desperately want to share it with someone but no one i know is excited about the things I love. D23 was a big one for me recently, I was so fucking hyped about all the Star Wars and Marvel stuff, and I just had no one to talk to about it. That was really depressing.

I really want people who aren't going to judge me or try to give me advice. I'm not looking for a therapist or someone to fix my problems. I'm really just looking for a soft place to land. A kind voice who actually wants to know me and what's going on, and who is curious and asks questions rather than assuming they know me. I also want people I can text or see and go, “Oh my God, did you see this new thing? Isn't it crazy?” and have them go, “Oh my God, yeah, I'm so hyped!.”

I don't want to pretend I'm in a good place or hide the fact that I'm struggling, but I also don't want that to be all there is because I'm full of so much enthusiasm and love for life too. I want to be able to be fully myself with someone instead of having to pick which parts of myself I'm going to share.

I'm just such a super nerd and I am losing my shiiiiit over the new Star Wars and Marvel stuff announced at D23. I've always really wanted a friend who was as into this kind of nerdy stuff as me, someone who keeps up with news and rumors and goes crazy over trailers like I do, so I'm just looking for a fellow super nerd 🤓 Otherwise I'm a gamer and I'm really into metalcore music. I get just as hyped about news, rumors and trailers for those things too, I'm just really stoked about this D23 stuff right now. Feel free to DM me!

I'm just such a super nerd and I am losing my shiiiiit over the new Star Wars and Marvel stuff announced at D23. I've always really wanted a friend who was as into this kind of nerdy stuff as me, someone who keeps up with news and rumors and goes crazy over trailers like I do, so I'm just looking for a fellow super nerd 🤓 Otherwise I'm a gamer and I'm really into metalcore music. I get just as hyped about news, rumors and trailers for those things too, I'm just really stoked about this D23 stuff right now. Feel free to DM me!

So I've been around the block a time or two on subs like this, had dozens or more conversations, and the one common theme is no one asks questions. It's very confusing because, like, how are you going to get to know someone if you're not prompting them to talk about themselves? Is it because you're afraid of prying? Don't know what to ask? I genuinely am curious because it's just so alien to me and I would like to know so I can better understand you mysterious no-question-askers. And if you do ask questions then boy howdy, where the flim flam have you been hiding??

So I've been around the block a time or two on subs like this, had dozens or more conversations, and the one common theme is no one asks questions. It's very confusing because, like, how are you going to get to know someone if you're not prompting them to talk about themselves? Is it because you're afraid of prying? Don't know what to ask? I genuinely am curious because it's just so alien to me and I would like to know so I can better understand you mysterious no-question-askers. And if you do ask questions then boy howdy, where the flim flam have you been hiding??

So I've been around the block a time or two on subs like this, had dozens or more conversations, and the one common theme is no one asks questions. It's very confusing because, like, how are you going to get to know someone if you're not prompting them to talk about themselves? Is it because you're afraid of prying? Don't know what to ask? I genuinely am curious because it's just so alien to me and I would like to know so I can better understand you mysterious no-question-askers. And if you do ask questions then boy howdy, where the flim flam have you been hiding??

I'm looking for someone I can connect with through gaming, either gaming together or in parallel while we talk after we get to know each other. I played Destiny 2 for 12 years and with it ending I'm trying to get into other games again. I've always loved everything Bethesda has done (except Starfield, we don't talk about that) and I've been digging Warframe. I'm also interested in Helldivers 2 and party games or even friendslop. Otherwise I'm open to suggestions.

As far as what kind of conversations I'm looking to have goes I'm into into Destiny lore, Marvel, DC, Star Wars, evolution, the nature of the universe, psychology/personal growth (particularly around autism, ADHD, trauma, as I have all 3) and metal music (currently listening to a lot of Motionless In White, Bury Tomorrow, and PRESIDENT) but what I’m really searching for is the energy. The “holy shit did you see that?!” vibe.

The theory-crafting, music-analyzing, meaning-hunting conversations.

The kind where it's like:

"Did you see that leak? What if they adapt that storyline??”

“Dude did you listen to this riff?? The way that chorus drops is insane.”

“That lyric? Yeah, that one. It literally ripped my heart out"

"Can you believe how crazy the world we live in is? Like nature and evolution is so wild and majestic. There was a time where the friggin jawbone wasn't a thing, where life was wild alien, and now we're here."

"The cosmos are so infinitely incomprehensibly huge, that there's so much we don't know about matter and the nature of reality. There could be infinite levels of reality that we can't even imagine. Isn't that insane?"

"Isn't it crazy how blind so many of us are to who we even are? We're each an almost infinite world unto ourselves to understand and explore yet most of us live in one tiny little corner of all that we are, oblivious to our subconscious thoughts, motivations, desires, etc."

I love bubbly and enthusiastic people. People who are warm and kind who haven't lost their spark. You could probably read this and be one of those people and not even know because those are the people who get taken advantage of, who get their hearts broken often by this harsh world, who hurt the most and wither when they're not fed, but the beauty is that there's some part of them, even if it's small, that contains all that was beautiful and wonderful about them, one little seed that, if watered, grows and thrives into the most beautiful and vibrant flower the world will ever know. So even if you don't see yourself as all that special, maybe you've been beaten down by giving too much and not receiving enough in return, send me a message or add me on discord (same username as here, just don't forget to omit the e in the!). Maybe we can water each other

I'm looking for someone I can connect with through gaming, either gaming together or in parallel while we talk after we get to know each other. I played Destiny 2 for 12 years and with it ending I'm trying to get into other games again. I've always loved everything Bethesda has done (except Starfield, we don't talk about that) and I've been digging Warframe. I'm also interested in Helldivers 2 and party games or even friendslop. Otherwise I'm open to suggestions.

As far as what kind of conversations I'm looking to have goes I'm into into Destiny lore, Marvel, DC, Star Wars, evolution, the nature of the universe, psychology/personal growth (particularly around autism, ADHD, trauma, as I have all 3) and metal music (currently listening to a lot of Motionless In White, Bury Tomorrow, and PRESIDENT) but what I’m really searching for is the energy. The “holy shit did you see that?!” vibe.

The theory-crafting, music-analyzing, meaning-hunting conversations.

The kind where it's like:

"Did you see that leak? What if they adapt that storyline??”

“Dude did you listen to this riff?? The way that chorus drops is insane.”

“That lyric? Yeah, that one. It literally ripped my heart out"

"Can you believe how crazy the world we live in is? Like nature and evolution is so wild and majestic. There was a time where the friggin jawbone wasn't a thing, where life was wild alien, and now we're here."

"The cosmos are so infinitely incomprehensibly huge, that there's so much we don't know about matter and the nature of reality. There could be infinite levels of reality that we can't even imagine. Isn't that insane?"

"Isn't it crazy how blind so many of us are to who we even are? We're each an almost infinite world unto ourselves to understand and explore yet most of us live in one tiny little corner of all that we are, oblivious to our subconscious thoughts, motivations, desires, etc."

I love bubbly and enthusiastic people. People who are warm and kind who haven't lost their spark. You could probably read this and be one of those people and not even know because those are the people who get taken advantage of, who get their hearts broken often by this harsh world, who hurt the most and wither when they're not fed, but the beauty is that there's some part of them, even if it's small, that contains all that was beautiful and wonderful about them, one little seed that, if watered, grows and thrives into the most beautiful and vibrant flower the world will ever know. So even if you don't see yourself as all that special, maybe you've been beaten down by giving too much and not receiving enough in return, send me a message or add me on discord (same username as here, just don't forget to omit the e in the!). Maybe we can water each other

I'm AuDHD and I'm an open book. If you want to ask me every question under the sun, first, I'll be delighted, and second, I will probably answer. I'm very straightforward; if you ask something I'm uncomfortable with, I'll just tell you, and I won't hold it against you.

A few things you might find interesting about me:

• I know a lot about a lot, especially myself. I am constantly learning and uncovering new things about who I am. I guess you could say I'm on a ✨ healing journey ✨ but I hate that term because it makes me sound like I'm some kind of woo woo person and I'm not. I'm just a guy working hard every day trying to figure himself out.

• I'm not big on small talk. If you ask what my favorite show is, that's cool, but I'll also want to talk about why: what does it mean to me, and what makes me like it? I love when people ask questions like that.

• I want to know your actual experience of the world and what things mean to you as well. I love both talking and hearing about those details, so someone who is curious to just dive in and dig deep is definitely my kind of person.

I always feel like I have to list my interests like a resume, because if I start writing how I actually feel about them, we'll be here all day. They're not really just interests, they are reflections of my identity, stories about my upbringing, they probably seem like typical "guy things" but I assure you they are not to me. I don't do anything halfway and my interests have deeply personal meaning to me. If you're looking for the resume though, here it is:

• Metalcore music (everything from old school 2000s to more modern stuff)

• Marvel (Doomsday hype!)

• Paleontology (Not just dinosaurs! I love all prehistoric creatures!)

• Gaming (mostly looter shooters but I'm looking to branch out so don't be shy if they're not your jam!)

But otherwise, just shoot me a message if you're interested in getting straight down to the nitty-gritty. What do you want out of a friendship? What are your expectations and deal-breakers? Let's get all of that out of the way first so we can just dive into the fun stuff.

I'm AuDHD and I'm an open book. If you want to ask me every question under the sun, first, I'll be delighted, and second, I will probably answer. I'm very straightforward; if you ask something I'm uncomfortable with, I'll just tell you, and I won't hold it against you.

A few things you might find interesting about me:

• I know a lot about a lot, especially myself. I am constantly learning and uncovering new things about who I am. I guess you could say I'm on a ✨ healing journey ✨ but I hate that term because it makes me sound like I'm some kind of woo woo person and I'm not. I'm just a guy working hard every day trying to figure himself out.

• I'm not big on small talk. If you ask what my favorite show is, that's cool, but I'll also want to talk about why: what does it mean to me, and what makes me like it? I love when people ask questions like that.

• I want to know your actual experience of the world and what things mean to you as well. I love both talking and hearing about those details, so someone who is curious to just dive in and dig deep is definitely my kind of person.

I always feel like I have to list my interests like a resume, because if I start writing how I actually feel about them, we'll be here all day. They're not really just interests, they are reflections of my identity, stories about my upbringing, they probably seem like typical "guy things" but I assure you they are not to me. I don't do anything halfway and my interests have deeply personal meaning to me. If you're looking for the resume though, here it is:

• Metalcore music (everything from old school 2000s to more modern stuff)

• Marvel (Doomsday hype!)

• Paleontology (Not just dinosaurs! I love all prehistoric creatures!)

• Gaming (mostly looter shooters but I'm looking to branch out so don't be shy if they're not your jam!)

But otherwise, just shoot me a message if you're interested in getting straight down to the nitty-gritty. What do you want out of a friendship? What are your expectations and deal-breakers? Let's get all of that out of the way first so we can just dive into the fun stuff.

I've been trying hard to make friends online lately because in-person interactions are really hard, and I'm chronically ill. But everybody wants to text. It has been really hard because my thoughts just don't translate well into words. The ADHD side of me likes to ping-pong around, which makes for difficult reading. Plus, I don't really feel a strong connection with people over text; I just can't get the vibe. I thought this was an autistic thing but the autism subs were... Less than kind about this question, which of course just cut me like a knife.

It's funny, they say that autistic people can't pick up on social cues and body language. But for me, I actually need that tone of voice. I can pick up on those cues, and that is what helps me feel like I am actually connecting with a person.

At the same time, live, in-person interactions are exhausting because it's too much to take in all at once. That is why I've found voice messages to be perfect: they allow me to really get the vibe of someone, but don't require me to react in real time. It's like the perfect medium for me.

Unfortunately, finding people who are open to that accommodation is very difficult. Surprise, surprise, just another way the world isn't built for me.

Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else has had this experience, and if you have found anywhere to connect with people who are open to this. So many places exist, like this very subreddit, but they are all text-based. The more I learn about myself, the more I realize that text-only communication is just not my jam. If it's not your jam please be kind or keep scrolling. My heart can't take more people telling me they hate something that has become such a big deal for me.

I have a hard time writing posts like this because my thoughts don't always translate well to words. As an AuDHD person, it feels like it should be simple: I post what I'm looking for, you see it and realize it fits you, we start talking, but I realize things tend to be more performative in places like this in reality. The posts that do well are less explicit and tell good stories. While I'm a good storyteller in person, weaving those stories about myself into a structured, coherent post is hard for me #ADHD problems I guess.

That's why I'm primarily looking for people who are interested in exchanging voice messages over Discord. It's easier than jumping on a call (don't call me unless your house or mine is on fire 🔥) while still giving that feeling of connecting with an actual person.

If you are a curious person here are a few things you might find interesting about me:

• I know a lot about a lot, especially myself. I am constantly learning and uncovering new things about who I am. I guess you could say I'm on a ✨ healing journey ✨ but I hate that term because it makes me sound like I'm some kind of woo woo person and I'm not. I'm just a guy working hard every day trying to figure himself out.

• I am an open book. If you want to ask me every question under the sun, first, I'll be delighted, and second, I will probably answer. I'm very straightforward; if you ask something I'm uncomfortable with, I'll just tell you, and I won't hold it against you.

• I'm not big on small talk. If you ask what my favorite show is, that's cool, but I'll also want to talk about why: what does it mean to me, and what makes me like it? I love when people ask questions like that.

• I want to know your actual experience of the world and what things mean to you as well. I love both talking and hearing about those details, so someone who is curious to just dive in and dig deep is definitely my kind of person.

I always feel like I have to list my interests like a resume, because if I start writing how I actually feel about them, we'll be here all day. They're not really just interests, they are reflections of my identity, stories about my upbringing, they probably seem like typical "guy things" but I assure you they are not to me. I don't do anything halfway and my interests have deeply personal meaning to me. If you're looking for the resume though, here it is:

• Metalcore music (everything from old school 2000s to more modern stuff)

• Marvel (Doomsday hype!)

• Paleontology (Not just dinosaurs! I love all prehistoric creatures!)

• Gaming (mostly looter shooters but I'm looking to branch out so don't be shy if they're not your jam!)

But otherwise, just shoot me a message if you're interested in getting straight down to the nitty-gritty. What do you want out of a friendship? What are your expectations and deal-breakers? Let's get all of that out of the way first so we can just dive into the fun stuff.

I have a hard time writing posts like this because my thoughts don't always translate well to words. As an AuDHD person, it feels like it should be simple: I post what I'm looking for, you see it and realize it fits you, we start talking, but I realize things tend to be more performative in places like this in reality. The posts that do well are less explicit and tell good stories. While I'm a good storyteller in person, weaving those stories about myself into a structured, coherent post is hard for me #ADHD problems I guess.

That's why I'm primarily looking for people who are interested in exchanging voice messages over Discord. It's easier than jumping on a call (don't call me unless your house or mine is on fire 🔥) while still giving that feeling of connecting with an actual person.

If you are a curious person here are a few things you might find interesting about me:

• I know a lot about a lot, especially myself. I am constantly learning and uncovering new things about who I am. I guess you could say I'm on a ✨ healing journey ✨ but I hate that term because it makes me sound like I'm some kind of woo woo person and I'm not. I'm just a guy working hard every day trying to figure himself out.

• I am an open book. If you want to ask me every question under the sun, first, I'll be delighted, and second, I will probably answer. I'm very straightforward; if you ask something I'm uncomfortable with, I'll just tell you, and I won't hold it against you.

• I'm not big on small talk. If you ask what my favorite show is, that's cool, but I'll also want to talk about why: what does it mean to me, and what makes me like it? I love when people ask questions like that.

• I want to know your actual experience of the world and what things mean to you as well. I love both talking and hearing about those details, so someone who is curious to just dive in and dig deep is definitely my kind of person.

I always feel like I have to list my interests like a resume, because if I start writing how I actually feel about them, we'll be here all day. They're not really just interests, they are reflections of my identity, stories about my upbringing, they probably seem like typical "guy things" but I assure you they are not to me. I don't do anything halfway and my interests have deeply personal meaning to me. If you're looking for the resume though, here it is:

• Metalcore music (everything from old school 2000s to more modern stuff)

• Marvel (Doomsday hype!)

• Paleontology (Not just dinosaurs! I love all prehistoric creatures!)

• Gaming (mostly looter shooters but I'm looking to branch out so don't be shy if they're not your jam!)

But otherwise, just shoot me a message if you're interested in getting straight down to the nitty-gritty. What do you want out of a friendship? What are your expectations and deal-breakers? Let's get all of that out of the way first so we can just dive into the fun stuff.

I say as I dictate this message into a voice-to-text keyboard lol

I've been trying hard to make friends online lately because in-person interactions are really hard and I'm chronically ill. It has been hard because my thoughts just don't translate well into words. The ADHD side of me likes to ping-pong around, which makes for difficult reading. Plus, I don't really feel a strong connection with people over text because I can't feel out someone's vibe if that makes sense.

It's funny, they say that autistic people can't pick up on social cues, tone of voice, and body language but, for me, I actually need that tone of voice. It helps me feel like I am actually connecting with a person. At the same time, live, in-person interactions are exhausting because it's too much to take in all at once. That is why I've found voice messages to be perfect: they allow me to really get the vibe of someone, but don't require me to react in real time. It's like the perfect medium for me. Unfortunately, finding people who are open to that accommodation is very difficult. Surprise, surprise, just another way the world isn't built for me.

Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else has had this experience, and if you have found anywhere to connect with people who are open to this. So many places exist for us, like this very subreddit, but they are all either text-based, in person, or live video.