u/yuuyo123

I used to scratch my arm on purpose when I felt stressed. I don’t do it anymore, but I used to contemplate actual cutting to feel “more seen”

It also sometimes bled if I did it too much

I’m mostly recovering but I feel like I’m gonna go back to my old habits sooner or later because it feels like injuring myself is the only thing I’ll ever be good at and I can’t do shit

For the longest time I wanted a way to describe how nothing feels pleasurable, and how anything ”fun” I do is less for fun and more like. A distraction to keep myself from going insane. It’s anhedonia. I’m anhedonic. Honestly this does not affect my mood one bit due to the condition and my life would’ve been the same had I not found out about this community, but it’s convenient knowing the word now. I appreciate it

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The feeling of being enby/agender came to me all of a sudden one night, instead of being a gradual build-up of emotions throughout weeks. There were still subtle signs before that night, I just chose to ignore before but they were EXTREMELY small signs. Like, microscopic-size

I do not feel dysphoric when someone confuses me for either a boy or a girl, I just… don’t care. But BOY I freaking love the feeling of thinking “I don’t have to be a boy OR a girl AaAAAA” Like someone could call me “Ms. lady woman sister Anya” and I wouldn’t give a shit

I feel all euphoric however when someone acknowledges my lack of gender, as opposed to me simply not caring whenever someone calls me a man or woman. But sometimes it feels like I’m just “faking it” just because I simply do not care, instead of feeling upset/mad/uncomfortable whenever someone assumes my gender

Also, I occasionally miss being my AGAB sometimes but other times I’m like “Wait no actually I feel better presenting as agender” BUT I know I’m not genderfluid or anything

Am I REALLY enby/agender or am I just a cis person with a temporarily malfunctioning sense of identity??

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This logic of “others have been through worse” can be EASILY used to invalidate ANYONE. Victims of abuse, victims of racism, victims of literally ANYTHING, so when people claim that misandry isn’t as bad as misogyny, I can’t help but feel irked out…

I‘m not even a man, (Or a woman) but our goal is EQUAL. RIGHTS!!!! I thought that was the whole point of feminism…

They act like all men are like that, just because of SOME people that oppressed women. It’s like eating a rotten egg, and then later declaring that all eggs taste gross, even the non-rotten ones

A few years ago, I presented as a trans guy, but then I kinda got bored of being a dude so I detransitioned, but last night, I felt like I was becoming bored of being a girl.

Ummmm after a few hours of overthinking and questioning my own sanity (Repeatedly telling myself I’m actually a woman and trying to fight off the thoughts because I was scared it might just be a phase), I have finally come to the conclusion that I am genderfluid. But that my gender only switches like once a year. And I just didn’t realize it all those years back, because it didn’t change rapidly

But also this realization feels so FREEING, it feels like I don’t have to stick to one or the other anymore, I feel like I can just be whatever I want!!!

Currently I present as nonbinary, but use he/him pronouns & masculine terms

Sorry if this was boring to read, just needed to get it off my chest

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