u/One_River444

It’s a living hell being with an avoidant when you’re like me. I will never do it again and I’m gonna do everything to make sure I don’t

“I love you” but you’re okay with me being miserable and suffering because you refuse to have even a basic conversation and make up bullshit excuses for why you can’t talk. Make it make sense

I just broke up with my “girlfriend” who didn’t even give me the bare minimum. I just texted her that I’m done and blocked her. That’s it. Only those 2 words. This has been going on for 3 months now and I can’t do it anymore. I don’t wanna beg her to talk to me anymore, I don’t wanna lie about shit just so she’ll talk to me, I don’t wanna get messages from her saying “I’m sorry I fell asleep” after 12 hours of being on delivered. I don’t wanna literally fucking beg for the bare minimum anymore. I don’t wanna do any of that god damn horse shit any fucking more and I’m not doing it ever again. I don’t wanna lay down at night and wonder if she’s talking to other people anymore, I don’t wanna lay down and go to sleep wondering what the fuck I did wrong anymore, it ends today. When we first got together 2 years ago she was the sweetest, most caring girl in the world. She was even pretty obsessed with me and I loved it. It was like the clouds were parting and the sun was shining down on me. Then she just completely switched up and left me in the dark. I was lucky to get 5 messages a day and was basically just talking to myself in our messages

Sob story after sob story, excuse after excuse. I’ve built up so much resentment and built up anger from her over the past 3 months. Fuck these kinds of people I actually hate them. Time to find a girl that actually fucking likes me and will talk to me if I don’t feel like I’m asking for too much. She has genuinely made me feel like basic communication is asking for too much

I live in an extremely small rural area in West Virginia that used to be a coal camp. Idc to share on Reddit because of the anonymity. My last name is Sizemore and for some reason despite being in the middle of nowhere in West Virginia, ancestry somehow pulled up my whole family. My grandpa that I never met who died in 1987 died from drinking, his dad, my great grandpa was a coal miner and died by a rifle wound to the chest by his own son because he was drunk and violent and his son decided to shoot him in the chest and kill him, and my 9th great grandpa was hung by Englishmen because he was Native American and he was nicknamed “a scoundrel.” It’s been crazy learning about my family lol

My family ethnicity is British and Native American

We’ve been together for 3 years now and our relationship has never been this bad. This is my first time being with someone that has BPD though and I’m still trying to understand it. Everything was fine until about 2 months ago and that’s when she turned cold and distant because of some stuff that happened with her that I don’t care to discuss because it’s personal problems she has. We’ve been together for 3 years like I said but we still don’t live together because I have to stay home and take care of my mom and make sure she’s okay. But we do talk about moving in with each other soon

But when it all happened and went wrong, she completely just disappeared for almost a week before she said anything else to me and I was just left wondering and ruminating on everything and I even walked 12 miles the day afterwards because it bothered me that much. But when she did finally say something to me again after almost a week, she basically just told me that she loves me and still wants everything with me and that she wasn’t gonna be on her phone anymore. I know it probably isn’t the healthiest thing to do but I would just frequently check her social media because it’s just how I am. I have pretty bad anxiety and everything else with relationships. Her instagram following would go up and she would follow and unfollow people on TikTok while telling me that she wasn’t on her phone, and of course it hurt but it was my fault for checking it

That was the beginning of it. After all of that, she finally started talking to me again but not all the time and not a lot and sometimes when we did talk, she would randomly disappear for days sometimes in the middle of a conversation with no explanation and it was just like I stopped existing to her. I’ve told her my feelings and I’ve explained everything to her in the nicest way that I possibly could and she just told me that she’s not how she used to be anymore and that she probably will never be like that again, she told me she loves me but doesn’t know how to show it anymore and that she doesn’t care to show it, and just shit like that. This has been going on for 2 months now since the end of March and I’m still here waiting because I love her despite all of her problems and she’s the one that I wanna be with forever

I catch her in these little lies all of the time but I don’t say anything to her about it. She tells me she can’t be on her phone at work, and yet she shares stuff on Facebook while she’s at work but doesn’t text me. She lies about being asleep sometimes, she lies about little things and it really hurts me. I just don’t bring it up because I don’t wanna cause an argument. She isn’t sweet and loving anymore like she used to be and she just isn’t the same. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying my best every day to be understanding and wait but some days I just feel like giving up because it doesn’t seem to be doing anything. All I do is wait for her to talk to me when she gets home from work but I’m just met with “I’ve had a bad day and I’m going to bed” or sometimes just nothing at all and I have to wait until the next day. It’s an endless cycle. I just don’t know why I have to pay for everything when I haven’t done anything wrong but try. My life has been genuine hell for 2 months

I don’t know what it is, I don’t know if it’s the BPD, but she has me in a trap and I can’t leave her. I can’t see my life with anyone else and being with someone else just wouldn’t feel right and I couldn’t do it. This is my longest relationship ever and it’s genuine love. I do love her but she’s killing me. What I don’t understand the most is how she can say she loves me and not talk to me, and be okay with not talking to each other. It doesn’t make sense in my mind. I love her, and I wanna talk to her every day all day. She says she has too much going on in her life and that she’s just not talkative. I’m dealing with my mom, my teeth are rotting out of my head because I didn’t take care of them when I was younger and I’m paying for it now, I’m depressed every single day because of this shit, and I’m struggling mentally and emotionally with everything else in my life and yet all I wanna do is talk to her. I don’t get it

Has anyone ever tried smoking weed for tinnitus? What was the outcome?

I’m looking to get into weed soon for severe PTSD and my doctor was talking about a medical card because it’s still illegal in my state. Just the thing is, is that I’m terrified of developing schizophrenia and have been since I found out what it is. What is the link between weed and psychosis? Doctor said that it’s only if you have a family history of the disorders and I don’t. Is there still a risk?

Did anyone else ever notice this? Lol