I've started prozac 20mg a week ago. I had ignored a lot of health issues such as stomach aches and back pain for the past two years when I was depressed. After using prozac for a week, I am actively looking into solving for these issues and taking more ownership and charge. At the same time feeling guilty that I didn't do this before :(
Is this normal?
Hello, I wanted to share this major progress that I have run into recently. I was brought up by a single mother who had severe mental health issues. In my childhood, falling sick was considered as yet another problem to deal with by my mother. So much so, that even when I was suffering from depression, she would rather judge me than take care of me and encourage me to seek help. Soldiering on was considered a strength instead of seeking the right help. Ever since I've taken charge of my mental health, started an anti depressant and entered into a relationship with a wonderful man, I have actually done three things that I'm incredibly proud of - 1) gotten to the root cause of my stomach pain, got myself an endoscopy and started treatment for esophagitis that I ignored for four years 2) got my lower back checked for stress related spasms 3) continued on anti-depressants without considering it a taboo that I am weak.
I feel incredibly proud of myself of breaking the old negative and harmful behaviour or conditioning of soldiering on and taking charge of my health overall.
I've started prozac 20mg a week ago. I had ignored a lot of health issues such as stomach aches and back pain for the past two years when I was depressed. After using prozac for a week, I am actively looking into solving for these issues and taking more ownership and charge. At the same time feeling guilty that I didn't do this before :(
Is this normal?
Hello, I met someone online recently through a business group. We both shut down our respective businesses about a year ago. We need to start something new - either a business, consulting, freelancing or a regular job. And thought of being an accountability partner to each other. What do you think about this idea? Has anyone tried this before? What are some ground rules? Any frameworks that work well for this? Thank you
Hello, it's been six months since I've been using Reddit for better understanding of my emotional patterns, upbringing and relationships with my parents and siblings which included abuse and neglect. Off late, I checked the amount of time I spend on Reddit, and it's been quite an interesting upwards slope of engagement.
Whenever I see a post that I relate to, I jump in and share about my experiences and also share about what I have learnt in my own healing journey.
I began to wonder, is this really helpful? Has anyone struggled with wanting to reply to everything that they come across and get clarity about their own situation. I don't want to build an unhealthy pattern or dependence either.
We live in a world of fast paced constant changes where the next best diet loads in the market in six months, AI and new technology change the career and business landscape almost every month, our bodies change quickly, start losing muscle every year; and so on and so forth, before you wake up to the next day there is another war at play somewhere in the world
In this chaos, how does one use emotional intelligence effectively to prioritise what one really wants and what's most important to the self?
Hello, I'm 33, recently diagnosed with GERD - Grade A esophagitis and PAN gastritis. I've been prescribed vonoprazan and normaxin. I've been taking this for three days twice a day now. However, my appetite has been shooting up like crazy since I started medication. Is this normal?
I just can't stop eating. I feel as if I have a new stomach and new taste buds. I feel lighter moving around. I am looking thinner. Is all of this normal?
~ FA- fearful avoidant DA- Dismissive avoidant ~
I'm 33F, FA, and he's 36M, DA. We met four years ago through a dating app. At the time, I had limited self-awareness and emotional maturity, while he was a startup founder and I was a VC. We operate in a small, high-pressure ecosystem with significant power dynamics.
We had an intense, flirtatious first conversation and slept together the next day. Before that, he told me he wasn't looking to marry, while I wanted marriage. I therefore assumed it wouldn't go anywhere. Over the following months, however, we periodically reconnected, and he once told me that meeting me had changed how he felt about marriage, although he never explicitly pursued a relationship.
I eventually developed a negative perception of him after a serious controversy involving his company. Later, after I had moved cities and was seeing someone else, he unexpectedly contacted me and initiated an emotional and sexual conversation, while also telling me he was in a "relationship of convenience" with another woman. When I confronted him about his intentions and his character, he blocked me.
He subsequently rebuilt his company and regained professional credibility. About a year later he unblocked me. By then I had become much more emotionally self-aware, and I confronted him again about his pattern of engaging with me without wanting to pursue a relationship. I also told him that, because of my father's addiction issues and similar patterns, I didn't want to associate closely with someone who had comparable traits.
Since then, I've dated other people, but he still occupies a uniquely intense place in my mind. I check his social media and sometimes feel that he is trying to communicate with me indirectly through his posts. Recently, his business partner seemed to want to reconnect with me about him, but I declined and said I only wanted friendship.
I don't understand why I still experience such a painful bond with him after four years, despite knowing that the relationship isn't healthy for me. I sometimes feel that my weekend depression is partly related to never getting closure. Recently, he posted something about substance abuse, which I interpreted as possibly being directed at me, and I told him not to obsess over me and that we should remain friends.
What is actually happening psychologically between us? Why does he still feel so emotionally significant to me, and why does the bond remain painful despite my having moved on in other areas of my life?
~ FA- fearful avoidant DA- Dismissive avoidant ~
I'm 33F, FA, and he's 36M, DA. We met four years ago through a dating app. At the time, I had limited self-awareness and emotional maturity, while he was a startup founder and I was a VC. We operate in a small, high-pressure ecosystem with significant power dynamics.
We had an intense, flirtatious first conversation and slept together the next day. Before that, he told me he wasn't looking to marry, while I wanted marriage. I therefore assumed it wouldn't go anywhere. Over the following months, however, we periodically reconnected, and he once told me that meeting me had changed how he felt about marriage, although he never explicitly pursued a relationship.
I eventually developed a negative perception of him after a serious controversy involving his company. Later, after I had moved cities and was seeing someone else, he unexpectedly contacted me and initiated an emotional and sexual conversation, while also telling me he was in a "relationship of convenience" with another woman. When I confronted him about his intentions and his character, he blocked me.
He subsequently rebuilt his company and regained professional credibility. About a year later he unblocked me. By then I had become much more emotionally self-aware, and I confronted him again about his pattern of engaging with me without wanting to pursue a relationship. I also told him that, because of my father's addiction issues and similar patterns, I didn't want to associate closely with someone who had comparable traits.
Since then, I've dated other people, but he still occupies a uniquely intense place in my mind. I check his social media and sometimes feel that he is trying to communicate with me indirectly through his posts. Recently, his business partner seemed to want to reconnect with me about him, but I declined and said I only wanted friendship.
I don't understand why I still experience such a painful bond with him after four years, despite knowing that the relationship isn't healthy for me. I sometimes feel that my weekend depression is partly related to never getting closure. Recently, he posted something about substance abuse, which I interpreted as possibly being directed at me, and I told him not to obsess over me and that we should remain friends.
What is actually happening psychologically between us? Why does he still feel so emotionally significant to me, and why does the bond remain painful despite my having moved on in other areas of my life?
~ FA- fearful avoidant DA- Dismissive avoidant~
I'm 33F, FA, and he's 36M, DA. We met four years ago through a dating app. At the time, I had limited self-awareness and emotional maturity, while he was a startup founder and I was a VC. We operate in a small, high-pressure ecosystem with significant power dynamics.
We had an intense, flirtatious first conversation and slept together the next day. Before that, he told me he wasn't looking to marry, while I wanted marriage. I therefore assumed it wouldn't go anywhere. Over the following months, however, we periodically reconnected, and he once told me that meeting me had changed how he felt about marriage, although he never explicitly pursued a relationship.
I eventually developed a negative perception of him after a serious controversy involving his company. Later, after I had moved cities and was seeing someone else, he unexpectedly contacted me and initiated an emotional and sexual conversation, while also telling me he was in a "relationship of convenience" with another woman. When I confronted him about his intentions and his character, he blocked me.
He subsequently rebuilt his company and regained professional credibility. About a year later he unblocked me. By then I had become much more emotionally self-aware, and I confronted him again about his pattern of engaging with me without wanting to pursue a relationship. I also told him that, because of my father's addiction issues and similar patterns, I didn't want to associate closely with someone who had comparable traits.
Since then, I've dated other people, but he still occupies a uniquely intense place in my mind. I check his social media and sometimes feel that he is trying to communicate with me indirectly through his posts. Recently, his business partner seemed to want to reconnect with me about him, but I declined and said I only wanted friendship.
I don't understand why I still experience such a painful bond with him after four years, despite knowing that the relationship isn't healthy for me. I sometimes feel that my weekend depression is partly related to never getting closure. Recently, he posted something about substance abuse, which I interpreted as possibly being directed at me, and I told him not to obsess over me and that we should remain friends.
What is actually happening psychologically between us? Why does he still feel so emotionally significant to me, and why does the bond remain painful despite my having moved on in other areas of my life?
I'm 33F, FA, and he's 36M, DA. We met four years ago through a dating app. At the time, I had limited self-awareness and emotional maturity, while he was a startup founder and I was a VC. We operate in a small, high-pressure ecosystem with significant power dynamics.
We had an intense, flirtatious first conversation and slept together the next day. Before that, he told me he wasn't looking to marry, while I wanted marriage. I therefore assumed it wouldn't go anywhere. Over the following months, however, we periodically reconnected, and he once told me that meeting me had changed how he felt about marriage, although he never explicitly pursued a relationship.
I eventually developed a negative perception of him after a serious controversy involving his company. Later, after I had moved cities and was seeing someone else, he unexpectedly contacted me and initiated an emotional and sexual conversation, while also telling me he was in a "relationship of convenience" with another woman. When I confronted him about his intentions and his character, he blocked me.
He subsequently rebuilt his company and regained professional credibility. About a year later he unblocked me. By then I had become much more emotionally self-aware, and I confronted him again about his pattern of engaging with me without wanting to pursue a relationship. I also told him that, because of my father's addiction issues and similar patterns, I didn't want to associate closely with someone who had comparable traits.
Since then, I've dated other people, but he still occupies a uniquely intense place in my mind. I check his social media and sometimes feel that he is trying to communicate with me indirectly through his posts. Recently, his business partner seemed to want to reconnect with me about him, but I declined and said I only wanted friendship.
I don't understand why I still experience such a painful bond with him after four years, despite knowing that the relationship isn't healthy for me. I sometimes feel that my weekend depression is partly related to never getting closure. Recently, he posted something about substance abuse, which I interpreted as possibly being directed at me, and I told him not to obsess over me and that we should remain friends.
What is actually happening psychologically between us? Why does he still feel so emotionally significant to me, and why does the bond remain painful despite my having moved on in other areas of my life?
Hello, me (33f) have been seeing my boyfriend (44m) for the past three months. It's been one of those relationships where things just happened very quickly - we got to know each other real quick, bonded a lot over career and family values. I feel like a lot of the closeness and intimacy has happened very quickly, as if we knew each other from before.
The first two months of our relationship, I was mostly spending time with him and let my work slide by. i hadn't experienced emotional intimacy for the past three years because of work priorities. In this period, we also realised that 1) bf isn't feeling particularly career focused after shutting down a business 2) bf is relying on the relationship solely to make his life more meaningful, although does have plans to resume work 3) bf has a higher desire for sex than me, he admitted to always have had a higher sex drive.
In the past two weeks, I resumed work and now am completely focussed on getting back to my career. I do a lot more house work than he does. I also manage my family's finances. He on the other hand kept pinging me a lot when I resumed work and in a panic mode I screamed at him and yelled at him that he needs to get a life and that he is suffocating me, that he is never satisfied with me and has started accusing me a lot these days. I name called too and lied to him about not being busy when in fact I was. I also refused to have sex twice in the middle of the actual because thoughts of financial stress were plaguing my mind.
He said he feels rejected, insulted and ridiculed and wants his focus back in life, and since has decided to end the relationship. However, he still behaves like he is my boyfriend - takes care of my medical issues, discusses my career with him; just that he has stopped being affectionate with me and stopped initiating sexual intimacy with me. I have offered several times to resolve the issue but he says something has changed in his heart. But when I try to reduce contact, he comes back stronger.
Men in the group - what exactly is going on in his head? Is he really wanting to leave the relationship?
Hello there, I'm a resident of HSR Sector 5. Recently plagued with a lot of gastro Issues. I've consulted Bangalore Gastro Centre (BCG) and Smiles Gastroenterology in HSR Sector 1. Anyone has experience with the quality of their endoscopy and Gastroenterology practice? Please share any experiences if any.
Tough discussion regarding financial planning with sister
Hello, I'm 33 F based out of my home country. My sister who is 38 F is based out of another country. My mother (65 years old) is financially illiterate and doesn't have the physical and mental capacity required to understand and manage her finances. We lost my father when I was 4. I have worked in finance most of my career and have a strong grip on investments. My sister doesn't reside in the same country as us and isn't interested in managing the family finances. My mother has recently entrusted me with the responsibility of managing our family wealth. I've taken the effort to consolidate all assets by meeting banks, consulting as many wealth advisors and investment managers as I can over the past two months and doing a lot of research on my own to understand asset allocation.
I have a good relationship with my mother where me and her are very receptive about how we communicate and interact on an emotional level with each other. We both make amends in our behaviour whenever there is a roadblock in our relationship.
Unfortunately, I don't have a very good relationship with my sister. Growing up, I was the favourite child and my sister always has given me these competitive and jealousy oriented vibes. Plus being an older sibling, even at this age she expects me to listen to her advice regarding my personal matters. She is overall a bad listener and has a high ego which is easily bruised if I don't listen to her. She is still in her "I'm the older sibling phase" without realising that both of us are adults now with different life perspectives, goals and priorities.
Fast forward to today, I have hatched out a financial plan after spending countless hours post work hours to make sure my mother's assets are taken care of. I need to have a discussion with my sister and my mother jointly about the allocation and investment strategy that I've come up with. I know this is going to be a tough discussion considering my relationship with my sister.
She will most likely
- refute the strategy to appear to know more than me because she is still stuck on her older sibling status
- get emotionally charged and blame my character or put me down to look like the more capable one
- make fun of me to divert the conversation and take it casually do that actual high quality conversations don't go through
I want to handle this conversation from the point of view of taking the best decisons for my mother and her financial security. Any pointers on how I could handle this conversation maturely without getting buried into an emotional fight while maintaining my dignity and cool?
Thank you
​
Hello, I'm 33 F based out of my home country. My sister who is 38 F is based out of another country. My mother (65 years old) is financially illiterate and doesn't have the physical and mental capacity required to understand and manage her finances. We lost my father when I was 4. I have worked in finance most of my career and have a strong grip on investments. My sister doesn't reside in the same country as us and isn't interested in managing the family finances. My mother has recently entrusted me with the responsibility of managing our family wealth. I've taken the effort to consolidate all assets by meeting banks, consulting as many wealth advisors and investment managers as I can over the past two months and doing a lot of research on my own to understand asset allocation.
I have a good relationship with my mother where me and her are very receptive about how we communicate and interact on an emotional level with each other. We both make amends in our behaviour whenever there is a roadblock in our relationship.
Unfortunately, I don't have a very good relationship with my sister. Growing up, I was the favourite child and my sister always has given me these competitive and jealousy oriented vibes. Plus being an older sibling, even at this age she expects me to listen to her advice regarding my personal matters. She is overall a bad listener and has a high ego which is easily bruised if I don't listen to her. She is still in her "I'm the older sibling phase" without realising that both of us are adults now with different life perspectives, goals and priorities.
Fast forward to today, I have hatched out a financial plan after spending countless hours post work hours to make sure my mother's assets are taken care of. I need to have a discussion with my sister and my mother jointly about the allocation and investment strategy that I've come up with. I know this is going to be a tough discussion considering my relationship with my sister.
She will most likely
\- refute the strategy to appear to know more than me because she is still stuck on her older sibling status
\- get emotionally charged and blame my character or put me down to look like the more capable one
\- make fun of me to divert the conversation and take it casually do that actual high quality conversations don't go through
I want to handle this conversation from the point of view of taking the best decisons for my mother and her financial security. Any pointers on how I could handle this conversation maturely without getting buried into an emotional fight while maintaining my dignity and cool?
Thank you
Hello there, I've always had a tough life growing up in a broken home. There was a brief period where I was doing well financially and had built up a good reputation in a high profile industry. This definitely increased my expectations from life. I took bigger bets and failed.
I spent the past four years being in absolute hell with one tragedy after another. It's like I have 3-6 good months followed by another period of equally bad months. I've left high end and well paying jobs, started businesses which failed, lost a lot of my own money, had bad business partnerships, publicly failed and made fun of, fallen into an addiction and mental health crisis where I was a zombie for a good one year, in parallel three romantic relationships not working out because my partners have either had mental health issues, failed businesses, social reputational damages or tax raids because of no fault of their own. My relationship with my family has hit rock bottom because I am so misunderstood and they are emotionally just in a different space.
The last one year I've tried to control finances, take better care of mental health, focussed on developing my skillset and rebuilding my network. I am going through the motions of what I should be doing practically and logically
But, I've just lost faith that something great will happen to me again. As in I am mature enough to know that times change and life occurs in phases, but I am just feeling emotionally dead as if nothing is making a difference to me anymore. Nothing brings me joy because I have on some level stopped feeling anything. My emotions seem muted. Is this a part of growing up or is this more about just being so hurt that you don't care anymore?
What is the way out of this? I feel as if I am okay with good or bad things and don't really feel present in my own life.
Hello there, I'm on Day 365 of quitting the plant. The last one year has been extremely productive for me except a few glitches as expected in this journey of quitting. I have so many thoughts about this whole journey. And I am trying to make some sense out of it. I just realised out of the blue a week back that I have actually finished a year this week.
I had a question for fellow community members who have successfully quit for 6 months or more. How do you see your addiction? What's the relationship that you have to that phase of your life and how do you relate to it now? Do you have thoughts about it frequently? Do you still hate it or have you made peace with it completely? Do you feel any regrets or do you feel overwhelmingly accepting of it as a part of yourself? Would love to know some thoughts
Hello there, I'm 33 years old. I've worked for ten years across venture capital and startups. I've been an extremely hardworking person - went to a good top tier school and worked hard to get into top venture capital fund in the first ten years of my career. I've had a fair bit of personal challenges - lost my father to a prescription pill addiction at age 4, emotionally tough years through college and career due to mental health issues, had first bout of burnout for about a year when I didn't work.
In a span of six months since the start of this year, I've had two major events related to finances occur simultaneously. One being positive and another negative.
The positive - My mother has inherited a couple of millions, which has made us (family of three) financially independent. I am from a developing country where the standard of living is low so this is life changing money. I am responsible for managing the entire corpus since my mother's financial literacy is on the lower end. Although all of us are driven and have decided to keep working.
The negative - I had about 3% of this amount (total inheritance) saved up in ten years through employment and personal investments - which is well above average in my country. I decided to start a business, but unfortunately nothing has been working out since the past three years due to reasons slightly beyond my control. I've burnt through 40% of the saved up money, learnt some hard lessons and now rethinking what to do next in my career. The remaining 60% gives me a personal financial runway of 6 years.
I'm genuinely confused wrt. what my priorities should be. On one hand, I've never seen this kind of money in my entire life and my whole outlook towards life has changed now. I'm managing the money responsibly. But every time I see the corpus, I feel tempted to take another swing at building a business (it's always been a lifetime goal), but then I feel guilty about not being able to succeed the first time around and burning through my hard earned savings. My mother is very encouraging of my dreams and is ready to support another business financially. She has adopted a simple and spiritual life where she doesn't intend to spend the inheritance money in any way. My sister doesn't intend to use this money too.
I need some good and grounded advice on how to manage my mindset henceforth. Because the inheritance is making me feel like an imposter on one hand, happy on the another and the failed business even before I received the inheritance was drowning me in guilt. Using the inheritance money to fund another business seems like a good and a bad idea and I am genuinely confused what to do right now. Please give me some advice. Thank you.
Hello there, I'm 33 years old. I've worked for ten years across venture capital and startups. I've been an extremely hardworking person - went to a good top tier school and worked hard to get into top venture capital fund in the first ten years of my career. I've had a fair bit of personal challenges - lost my father to a prescription pill addiction at age 4, emotionally tough years through college and career due to mental health issues, had first bout of burnout for about a year when I didn't work.
In a span of six months since the start of this year, I've had two major events related to finances occur simultaneously. One being positive and another negative.
The positive - My mother has inherited a couple of millions, which has made us (family of three) financially independent. I am from a developing country where the standard of living is low so this is life changing money. I am responsible for managing the entire corpus since my mother's financial literacy is on the lower end. Although all of us are driven and have decided to keep working.
The negative - I had about 3% of this amount (total inheritance) saved up in ten years through employment and personal investments - which is well above average in my country. I decided to start a business, but unfortunately nothing has been working out since the past three years due to reasons slightly beyond my control. I've burnt through 40% of the saved up money, learnt some hard lessons and now rethinking what to do next in my career. The remaining 60% gives me a personal financial runway of 6 years.
I'm genuinely confused wrt. what my priorities should be. On one hand, I've never seen this kind of money in my entire life and my whole outlook towards life has changed now. I'm managing the money responsibly. But every time I see the corpus, I feel tempted to take another swing at building a business (it's always been a lifetime goal), but then I feel guilty about not being able to succeed the first time around and burning through my hard earned savings. My mother is very encouraging of my dreams and is ready to support another business financially. She has adopted a simple and spiritual life where she doesn't intend to spend the inheritance money in any way. My sister doesn't intend to use this money too.
I need some good and grounded advice on how to manage my mindset henceforth. Because the inheritance is making me feel like an imposter on one hand, happy on the another and the failed business even before I received the inheritance was drowning me in guilt. Using the inheritance money to fund another business seems like a good and a bad idea and I am genuinely confused what to do right now. Please give me some advice. Thank you.
Hello, for a portfolio of 15cr+ with ~45% in property and 10% in gold, does it make sense to invest in REITs and Gold ETFs, since exposure to real estate and gold is already on the higher end? Current overall investable corpus in mutual funds is ~2cr. and managers are suggesting me to invest 5-10% in these two instruments for the purpose of diversification.
This is for an investment horizon of 30 years with moderate risk tolerance from the point of view of wealth creation rather than preservation.
I'm receiving a lot of push from mutual fund advisors to diversify because 1) real estate is tough to manage and has low rental yield 2) physical gold doesn't give good yield because ~50% of it is in jewellery form.
Please give me some perspective. Thank you.