u/Positive_Call_9311

I was born in a liberal Indian family where I lost my father at age four and with my mother remarried in her 40s. I met a very traditional man in my 20s and married him through a small courtship period. He is 11 years older to me. He is a very good husband. He takes care of the house financially. He treats me with respect in front of others and when we are with each other alone. Before my marriage, I had a regular lifestyle of clubbing and wearing rather bold dresses but all of that has changed for me out of my own change in priorities. I fell for his traditional way of life which seemed so simple with uncomplicated family values. He also buys me gifts and pampers me with outings. He listens to my problems in my own career and advises me properly. Our sex life is really good. He buys me lingerie and makes sure that he listens to me during sex to fulfil all my desires. The only issue I feel is that either he is in 1) fulfilling marriage responsibility roles from a practical real world standpoint 2) satisfying me in bed. There are very little verbal romantic gestures from his end. He hasn't said as much as an I love you to me and he blames his generation (he's an older millennial, on it). He says he would rather show his love through actions rather than words, which I really value and appreciate. But maybe not getting so conscious about public displays of affection or giving me a small kiss even if our maid is looking, or sending me a small I love you or hug GIF during the day would go a long way for me wrt to affirming his love for me. He has tried but he is just not able to be romantic with me in that way. I feel it might be because 1) traditional households don't express love as much 2) he is older 3) men usually don't express emotions as such. what really amuses me is he is extremely passionate in bed and expressive of my beauty and devotion to him and our relationship. What are the reasons for this and how can I get him to love me in more number of ways through verbal expression?

hello, I'm 33 based out of India. I was raised single handedly by my mother since age 4. I've done pretty well for myself in my life wrt education and a good career. my mother is like most typical Indian mothers. she runs her own dental practice but her whole outlook on life is stuck on how women were treated in their generation. she has always provided for me, but ever since I was in my late 20s I feel like my value has gradually been tied to my marriage status. I'm currently unmarried and although I have dated a lot in the past and have had relationships, none of them converted to marriage. I recently visited an astrologer on her insisting, and he out right judged me by saying things such as if you don't take care of how you look, it will be difficult for you to find a spouse, and my mother sitting next to me as if agreed to everything he said knowing my relationship history. I mean I do know that it is our responsibility to take care of our bodies, but inspite of doing everything on my own - my education and my career (and I do have a very strong one that I've built in a male dominated field like finance), I felt extremely humiliated when my inability to get married was compared to 'how I look' when she clearly knows my relationship history. I do understand that she comes from a different generation but today after about three weeks of this incident I just lost it and felt extremely hurt about how the society still views women, and somehow my well educated and financially independent mother actually did believe what this astrologer was saying. I just wanted to vent out here and feel bad about myself, but honestly I feel disappointed in my mother. how do I handle such differences with her without getting mentally affected? we stay in different cities btw.