u/delanncy

I feel like people here are always questioning if their parents are truly narcissistic, I've questioned it myself, I have watched countless videos and here are 3 signs that I think are important

1. Gaslighting (they'll always tell you that u are remembering situations wrong)

2. No Boundaries (if you tell them you are upset with them they'll tell you that you are actually hurting them and it's your fault)

3. Holding Parental Duties Against You (remember when your parent took you too school from aged 2-13 welp prepared to get reminded that you owe them the time that they wasted on you for doing basic parenting)

I remember a school trip how one of my roomates gave me such a slaggy talk after I told her I don't brush my teeth before bed.

I wish people were understanding that not everyone was taught basic hygiene skills

I want to cut off my family but I think I'll develop stockholm syndrome

I daydream 90% everyday and I always thought maybe I could turn this into some type of film but even then I daydream the film and can't necessarily articulate it on paper because my thoughts are always changing.

My stupid excuse of my brother corrupted my files of a school trip I went too. why? because "he didn't have any USB so he'll just empty mine with over like 10gb" literally a grown man.

my mum will just insult me and take my fan,my charger,my lotions anything she feels entitled too because she raised me

it's annoying

my mum is an instigating guilttripping narcissistic who cares about helping other kids traumas and calls me 10 insults a day

my young brother is a future criminal,he's violent and aggressive and only wants money

my older brother is illiterate and sometimes annoying and he keeps "playfighting" me and is a hypocrite

my auntie is "homeless" and Ives around shittalking my mum and only calls to get info from me

my grandma is a ragebaiter and doesn't care

and me? just the middle child who can't be angry or ill get attacked or harmed so I have too be positive or else my boy mum will label me aggressive :))) *TYPOS

I am empathetic because i can easily sense and mirror emotions when someone is upset, I can feel empathy and act like I care

but i am also unsympathetic because I don't know how to actually act. like deep down I don't really want to give a hug or hear more of it

I feel like a hypocrite but its hard trying to be nice to the world when the world has never been nice too you

I have alot of clothes kinda dumped in my room and I'm unsure if they'll all fit in a luggage to uni.

I know my mum likes to get involved when something gets big for me so I know she'll make that moment the most difficult period of my life.

I'm so anxious when I think about moving because I know she'll pick a fight with me.

my mum acts physically incapable of doing anything.

the charger will be right next to her and she'll ask for it.

she'll ask me to pass her phone. go grab her tissue. get her a pillow. get her water.

and it's constant, you KNOW I'm busy and you KNOW you can do this yourself.

what's ironic is that I can't ask her to pass me anything or else she'll accuse me of taking advantage of her

I've been beat down my whole life the point that I don't know how to react to certain situations unless I put on this performance.

if someone told me their dog died,deep down I don't feel anything for them, I don't know how to feel, so I'll end up doing the most in an attempt to comfort them.

my reasoning Is that my narc parent never showed mercy too me growing up whenever I was sad about something. I'm not like this all the time but I do find it hard to be empathetic.

I bought these really cute clothes and instead of my mum just making a compliment and keep it going, she just HAD to say something negative!

she constantly brings down my confidence because she doesn't ever compliment me and will just make a sly comment

I hate having to be defensive over my happiness.

it cost £35.38 on amazon for a fan and I have just got amazon prime so I wouldn't need too pay delivery.

it's really hot In the UK (United kingdom) and my home doesn't have a fan and its too humid. I ended school and find myself at home all day. I'd like £40 I don't know how to necessarily get money here.

but I will to speak to everyone here who have questions .

edit : please

edit 2: it is 1am for me so in the morning I will create a wish list and try not to leak my home. thank you everyone please be patient because its 1:20am right now and I want to sleep.

we can't afford a fan or an ac because that'll put us in debt.

I almost fell asleep in my bathtub as I just dived myself in an ice bath but I don't think that's safe to stay for sleep.

any tips I'll try all.

also the windows being open isn't really being affective I don't feel much of a difference,not sure.

When their is a thunderstorm I assume that the world will flood up and wash away everyone for being sinners.

I cannot sleep when I hear thunder. I sound mental but I feel like the thunder will zap straight into my room for me.

I get d_ath anxiety over thunderstorms and heavy rain

you could post on a reddit page and cry about being poor in a poorpeople sub and people would deadass be like "get a job" "stop whining" "you don't seem to want to fix your solution" meanwhile the person making 50k is being praised and sugar-coated.

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like damn I can't cry about my situation,do people just assume I really haven't done anything to fix my solution? why do you think I'm ranting? like people genuinely get triggered when you use a sub for its intended purposes

I can't got watch anything live because they all cost £150 (theatres,concerts)

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can't just take a DAY TRIP OUTTA THE COUNTRY and waste away £300

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didn't know my friends had that much money to waste now i feel left out because no one is willing too cover for me at all these events.

I know my mum has constantly made me feel horrible and has made horrible efforts to try to better. heck I don't think she tries so long as she puts a roof over my head and feeds me and doesn't give me up for foster-care that's enough

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but I still feel this childish love for her.

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don't know what to do with these Stockholm emotions

my mood is in shambles 🙃

"hey mum I'm going to a school trip!"

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mum: let me do the most and buy you things and guilt trip you and tell everyone how much I did for you and make you feel like shit and gaslight you in a few years reminding you how much I spent on that trip of yours

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"hey mum going to a bday"

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mum : you can't wear that. don't make me angry don't wear that. wear something else. yes it's jeans and a top I bought you but don't embarrass yourself don't wear that.

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"hey mum, I'm not doing well in school"

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mum : it's the makeup, you don't have god in your life, you need to be closer to me. addicted to your phone.

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"oops accidently drop bread on the floor"

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mum: ungrateful,selfish,murderers,spoiled brats, go live with your dead beat dad, you guys don't care!