u/Cautious-Ostrich8945

I am so grateful that 20 minutes on the mat make me feel like today I choose to do something for myself, that isn't trying to fix myself in any way but just sit with my body and make it feel more comfortable.
I had to stop for a week, and although I am a beginner the mental health benefits, and self compassion benefits are incredible. :))

I add the diet talk trigger just in case but I hope I am not coming off as one who is dieting or wants to diet (too ‘full’ for that too). So here it goes…

I am seeing a therapist and we’re working on me feeling my emotions, but I am far from escaping my own coping mechanisms or as she says ‘ways of punishing myself’.

I am not sure what to do with my cycles.

I get triggered, can’t sleep, freeze. Then I dissociate and eat. Foods that don’t make me feel good, and not stopping when I am satisfied. I can’t even do things I want because I am anxious. A nap made it better, but I just can’t do anything other than vegetate and then I am still not relaxing.

I had started feeling better about my body, but not anymore. I started doing things for myself, thinking of how to do joyful movement without it being ‘exercise’.

But I give up when this happens. I feel so guilty about it, I am making myself feel so badly. I don’t even get really hungry, its more a compulsive feeling to ground myself.

And yoga doesn’t help to ground me, neither does going out since I am too overstimulated.

I guess… is there any book to help? I did read the original book but I am tangled in this now.

My therapist told me to feel my feelings but its easier said than done when I am overstimulated. It takes me weeks to feel better :(

I start, this song really encapsulates a state of being today. But also https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7LzJqaRxAJbQHjFiGzlaI0?si=8PSg9pfBSUGz1v-hGTl67w and this https://youtu.be/6PuqlOTyJt0?si=JFO-OHnb8V4s6ksg

I have been trying to find myself under all the onion layers.
So I got some playlists:

- on a historical level, some parts of optimistic me https://open.spotify.com/playlist/25KJiWX5A80r5nfvfzdw30?si=fB0AG7xfQFGs4tPxAXyAFw

- on a thinking too much level / soul level https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7LzJqaRxAJbQHjFiGzlaI0?si=8PSg9pfBSUGz1v-hGTl67w

I am having an interview about shopify web design. I have experience with webflow but not with shopify. I think I could learn fast, but lately it's hard to get hired without knowing everything to the dot and needing learning time. What do you suggest I watch and try out?

If I want vacation I need to work double in advance. I don’t even have sick days, they get taken from my holidays. I am thinking of pretending I am in the hospital to take vacation without having to completely burnout beforehand.

I am exhausted. I am thinking of leaving the job just to get a break. I am soooo tired. But I need money.

Since the real mbti dub doesnt want it I repost here. Bear with me while I come out as a closeted autistic woman. 👩 But my therapist says I’m totally fine… same as a mother loving their children lol. Ok lets start.

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If I hadn’t lived before the past few years I would have thought I am a high Fe user. I’m exceptionally high Ne and type myself as a crippling shy but also overly clownish open xnfp.

If you never heard the term, and hsp is a highly sensitive person. Noise? Unbearable. Sleep? Light. Wool shirts? à la poubelle.

The hardest part is having a highly raw emotional center. People get under your skin and crawl into you until you get overwhelmed by them. Its a step over people pleasing because its very sensorial, noticing minimum expressions or tone of voice changes, seeing what others feel before they are ever aware of it.

Being an hsp means that if someone has a rage attack you can’t sleep the whole night. If someone is sad you act like a sponge and feel like need to fix it.

Lots of it linked to emotional dependency and working as a tool for others wellbeing. Some hyper-vigilance and a disorganized attachment style. Speaking for myself of course.

Feelings all others feel, making bids for connection, then losing yourself in it because you saw that half jaded look while the words didn’t match the tone and it sent you panicking. On top of it all the sensory overwhelming stuff I won’t touch here.

Its a strong dichotomy of knowing who you are, but still bending over to others needs for survival. Fi is still there, having all the morals and values to discuss and defend yourself, but also betray what is aligned to you to keep perceived safety.

Hypervigilance I think is a symptom related to high Fe, we might argue each cognitive function is a coping mechanism.
Knowing how others feel before they do. Seeing things through the rose colored glasses others have.

I think the difference might be, I can feel and be permeated by others but I won‘t be sorry for them. High fe users have great facial expression, you can really see them feeling sorry. For a long time I found it extremely fake, even manipulative for them to show their emotions like that. How could it be possibile to feel actually sorry for something you didn’t experience and just learned about from a stranger? Possibly faking it to adhere to social norm? Why? To be liked?

When I feel empathy it doesn’t come with any externalization or vocalization, instead quite the opposite. Most times all I can think is ‘too bad you screwed up, its your fault so grow some and fix it‘ (estj father making me a clay rock).

At a childhood level, high Fe kids are pleasant people pleasers, who will do anything to have attention. As most children do of course. Being higher Fi I always found discombobulating how adults tried to get me to act like a puppet, for their own pleasure.

I don’t know where I’m going with this.

Lets discuss more so I can find out.

I want to do what I want even if it hurts others!
Others don't care about me as a person.
Others just see me for what I can do for them.
I want to run away and make a better family.

Who cares if they hurt. They never cared about my hurt, so much so I stopped expressing it.

Sto cercando di capire se vorrei iscrivermi ad una laurea triennale in psicologia https://www.unitelmasapienza.it/corso-di-laurea-in-scienze-e-tecniche-psicologiche/
ma il sito sembra datato, infatti le date sono tutte 2025-2026. Dato che lavoro fare un'università online con esami in presenza mi farebbe comodo.

Voi sapete se i corsi si terranno quest'anno?
Se avete già frequentato, come funziona con i tirocini?

Ho già un bachelor e questa laurea sarebbe di supplemento e per interesse personale (sì lo so, sono molto fortunata e privilegiata). Immagino serva un tirocinio in presenza in ambito clinico ma non credo potrei farlo in presenza con facilità.

I am happy and aroused before my period… and it’s super late (can’t be pregnant unless I became a Komodo dragon). 😭

I am lightly spotting right now so I know it's coming soon.

The more I get closer to my 30s the more my hormones have decided to become a little experimental? It might also be connected to a fainting/exhaustion/heat/hunger intolerance with vision issues that I’ve been trying to get a diagnosis for... no luck so far.

Basically, I’ve always had pretty bad pms irritability, and depending on the time of year, depression too, sometimes with S ideation. Not because I actually want to do anything, just exhaustion with life and being in this cycle. I am getting therapy in general, thankfully.

But this past year, things have gotten… weird.

I started feeling randomly exhausted randomly for 10 days at a time, sometimes 20, I’ve been supplementing with iron as my ferritin was a bit low. And now, for some reason, I’m getting depressed after my period, rather than before it, and I’ve started having pain around ovulation, assuming I’m actually ovulating when I think I am.

I’m booking a gyno appointment, because I’m honestly stunned that I seem to be experiencing what feels like PMDD symptoms after my period. So odd.

Also, my period is chronically late during the summer, which has always happened, so I never thought that much of it. But I just realized at my ripe old age that I might have undiagnosed PCOS?? Mainly because of tubular breasts 😭 weird glycemic events, skin tags, some chin hair (thin, but I’m Italian, so I genuinely just thought “eh, genetics”), periods that are regular-ish but also irregular-ish, and now whatever the hell my hormones are doing.

Anybody relates? My therapist says there's nothing wrong with me so I guess either she is wrong or my body is going to crazy town.

Anger was not a safe emotion, everyone around me was angry so I repressed it.
I can get angry and share my points but it usually resulted in being ridiculed, being called crazy and being then violently yelled at. Then it would become the silence treatment for weeks, I couldn't have any need until my dad was done with it. If I get angry I usually door-slam afterwards because it means all my boundaries and values were crossed.

So now, I am angry, I talk about it, but then I don't know what to do with it? What would Jung say?

I am followed by a therapist but other than putting boundaries up, I don't know how to let myself feel anger and talk to it without hurting anyone ( I never hurt anybody of course, but I associate it to violence).

After a while I feel silly being angry because it's usually because of misogyny and just the most crazy out of mind ideas ever that get projected on me. Like being manipulated by my parent to cater to an ADULT abuser (older than me, physically and mentally abled) so much so to take them around and...hear me out... take my hard earned vacation time to spend time with them, while we hate each others guts.

Like what?

- the disrespect
- the entitlement
- the thought that evidently as a woman I would give up my free time to do emotional labour for the whole family. WHAT?
- the fact that I had 3 big fights over similar situations (same concept, I should obliterate myself for another person just because I am a woman) which almost led to my well communicated estrangement.

Anyways, see how it's so crazy even just thinking that my parents would have the audacity to ask or THINK that just sends my two last neurons to retirement.

What should I do now with this incredulous anger? I am enjoying having energy after a depressive episode. But how do I process anger? Boundary setting?

Should I...scream at people? They deserve it... :)

Part of me wants to see them self implode and just trigger them until they implode with their lack of emotional awareness and lack of communication.

I was listening to the book, and they said something really curious. "Children are naturally active". Well, I wasn't. I always despised physical activity and always felt like it was something to do with being "forced" to engage with my father and to shrink my body size.
I wasn't allowed to move freely and everyone was disappointed later when I was uncoordinated.
Its funny how the food chapters triggered me less than the movement one.
I am currently doing yoga as a sign of respect for my body that deserves to not fell 90 at 29. But I find myself, like for food, fighting between that walk "I should take" or sleeping (while I'm actually sleep deprived because of the heatwave).
Movement is something I "should" do, and I don't really enjoy.
I enjoy doing yoga because it allows me to play with my body and put me in positions I wouldn't otherwise, makes my inner child happy. But for everything else...it feels like a chore. And although I love lifting weights too, Its hard to not make it feel like a chore "to be healthy", "to build muscle".

I guess I should try a karate or dance class. Although I'm still too shy to do it alone 😂

I am a ux designer with a BA in industrial design. I currently work for startups but I'd really enjoy working in the medical field, I don't mind working in tech but I need my work to be more aligned with some kind of social impact. Also...I miss studying.

My options are either doing a master in something like Health and digital transformation, or consider doing a social work/psychology BA from scratch.
I am moving continents soon so I wouldn't be able to participate to lessons in person, but I'd be able to fly back in the EU in for exams, is it something possible or is the part-time master focused on in person work?

I'm open for any suggestion, it's been 6 years since I've been to school so any feedback is greatly appreciated :)

I have a trillion reason. The more I hate myself the more a hopeless part feels destroyed so in the end instead of staying in the annoyance/slight rage, I cry my eyes out feeling hopeless.

Do I just...let it be? Meditate on it? Let myself cry first? Can't really stop it so I guess that will be step 1.

I need some motivation and optimism, please share any success you had.
My success this week was having reintroduced chocolate spreads and honoring both my desire to eat them but also my real hunger.

Some days, not all days but most, I wake up with light sensitivity.

If I look at something even with it not producing light, the corners of it stay in my eye (looking as white light) when I move my eyeballs.
I noticed today I can't look comfortably in the horizon without being flashed with light, I was in the shade looking at the sunny morning.
Then now I tried moving my eyes, then closing it, and it's like I see a negative of what I was looking at.

I am not sure if it's migraines or not, but it's annoying me so badly.
I am seeing a neurologist soon I also have dizzy spells when I'm outside walking.

Anyone had something similar? Should I go to the eye doctor urgently?

My husband got a high paying secure gov job in his home country (the us). He previously moved to Europe to be with me but couldn’t find a job due to our location and technical field.

I love him dearly and he is the best person I’ve ever met. My brain says, take a compromise, go and see how it goes.

I have nothing keeping me here, my parents are old and I got some death trauma that makes me think they will die as soon as I accept a visa.

I have a couple friends there but nothing too close.

My body starts having a tantrum about it each time I think of it, I want to incontrollably cry and want to run away. I feel like I’ll be trapped in that anti-women country.

I also have never seen myself as a wife or as a wife who moves for their partner. I come from a loveless marriage that made my childhood…emotionally unsafe?
I feel like moving will take away from any power I have and I’ll be left without anything of what I want. Although rationally there are many more opportunities for me over there and my husband could support me in anything I want to do.

I am also afraid I’ll never come back and my mother (who almost died countless times) could die and I couldn’t say good to her. When you’re dying a 14h vs a 5h flight makes a difference.

I also am afraid he’ll never want to come back and I really don’t want to have children in America or maybe have children at all biologically. I have just started therapy and can barely take care of myself right now.

I don’t want the suburban life, I don’t want the house or the family. I want us in a nice apartment with some pets and a creative life where we can meet our friends often and have an impact in our community. Modern hippies I guess.

I really don’t want to choose something for someone else even if I love theem. But I have no ounce of desire in me to move there.

But I love him and don’t want to break up, I have never loved and beeen loved so healthily. We are best friends and lovers. It breaks my heart thinking about it.

I just don’t know if we want the same things anymore. He says so but has a habit of telling me what I want to hear.

I have a therapy session booked but I wanted to see if there’s anyone with a similar story that made it.

Its 3 years I try to use agendas, I started feeling that with work I couldn't use the bujo for appointments and deadlines, also I hate mixing work and personal so I'd have one for work digital, then one physical personal.
I tried getting an a6 hobonichi this year and there isn't enough space for me + I am not a daily planner. Love vertical weeklies.

I still feel the need to have a place with lists, dreams, things I want to do, all the important info about courses I take etc.
Is anyone here having a mixed setup? If so how do you deal with dates and planning?
What formats do you use?

I really love my b6 notebooks, b6 slim too. I think a b6 is simply the perfect size.
But I don't want to be worried of ripping out a page because the notebook is 30-40 euros. They are sooo expensive and hard to find! I don't want to do an online order every time I want a new notebook.
I tried A6 with a hobonichi this year and although I love the portability I always feel like I must keep it short and can't really plan-plan in it. I also like writing reflections and there isn't enough space.
I'll carry one or a b6 slim as a traveler notebook.
But yeah idk why I am announcing this but I give up on the search for the perfect notebook, a5 are cheaper and easier to find for a higher quality. I'll go back to a normal agenda then a leucchturm like old times. I'd love to be like the girlies but having so many formats is just confusing.

Sto pensando di cambiare indirizzo lavorativo, ora lavoro come ux designer e per quanto adori la ricerca non riesco a sopportare il capitalismo ad ogni costo. Inoltre mi piacerebbe fare qualcosa di pratico per aiutare gli altri.

Sono appassionata di psicologia sin da bambina ma la passione per il design era più forte 10 anni fa, e la psicologa meno diffusa di adesso.
L’obbiettivo sarebbe poi o fare ricerca pura o fare arte terapia. Più la prima che la seconda soprattutto per i salari.

Sto valutando master part time e online non necessariamente italiane, anche perché per quanto mi piaccia studiare mi sono stufata del ripetere la pappardella.

Non ho idea di come fare però perché dalla laurea in L4 ho forse solo sociologia che può essere trasferita.
Tra l’altro tra poco mi trasferirò in America per lavoro quindi non potrò recarmi a lezione.

Ho visto che l’università di Roma ha corsi che possono essere seguiti online, seguire le lezioni mi aiuta molto a memorizzare meglio.

Sono confusa, aiuto.