Panera for lunch - not pictured is the smokehouse bbq chicken sandwich (the best)
I just officially moved in with my boyfriend last Thursday. I lost my job almost two months ago and therefore I couldn’t afford my apartment. My boyfriend and I decided to move me in instead of me moving back home but I’m starting to regret my decision.
His house is a disaster. He has two dogs so there is dog hair everywhere and he doesn’t clean like…ever. I’ve already deep cleaned the bathroom and part of the kitchen and had mental breakdowns both times. He keeps telling me things will be okay and the house will get cleaner but he hasn’t lifted a finger to help me clean. I feel so naive and stupid for thinking things would change. I’m already in such a vulnerable spot with losing my apartment and job that I just really wanted this to work.
Last few days I’ve been in my own room. We completely stripped and painted a room in his house for me to have my own space and to integrate my cats more comfortably. I’ve been keeping to myself and sleeping in my room every night the past few days because I’m overwhelmed and hate walking around his house.
Not to mention his house is on a well water system. So sometimes the water smells like sulfur/rotten eggs and the water pressure is very low. It’s rough taking a shower. I even deep cleaned the shower beforehand because it was so gross. I mean spiderwebs in the corners on the ceiling.
Since his house is a well water system he hasn’t been able to do laundry due to the fact that the tank doesn’t fill up enough for the washer. So I have to go to a laundromat to do laundry.
Oh, and part of his oven doesn’t work. Only the stove top, and broiler. So if I wanted to bake something, I simply can’t.
Months leading up to my job loss we had plans of me moving in but ultimately decided not to since we kept arguing about the updates and my comfort.
I really wanted to try and trust the process but I’m so miserable. If I decide to move out and into my mom’s house our relationship is over.
I won’t even begin to mention about he speaks to me sometimes. I tried expressing my feelings about how overwhelmed I am about the house and I feel like I can’t do this and he said I was ungrateful.
I’m 30 years old and I feel like I have to start from the bottom again. I’m terrified.