Does anyone have any experience with them? Is it worth it or is it better to wait and see if they actually go pro?
If you’ve had positive experiences, I’d love advice on how to get a date.
There’s this guy who is always around me at school.
We have multiple classes together and he’s always looking my way, hovering around me with his friends, and walking right behind me whenever we leave. At one point some other girls flirted with him, but he kept his distance. He spoke to them once and then disengaged completely/went back to staring my way.
And yet, he doesn’t say a single word.
At first, I’d make eye contact back and smile. Then I got annoyed so I started ignoring him. But he just kept hovering around and staring at me. So I finally broke the silence and made a random observation about class. He seemed startled and barely responded. I went back to ignoring him.
But he keeps doing it. He keeps blushing every time I look, too. I just don’t know what to do. He’s cute, but so passive. I don’t have a problem with taking initiative, I’ve done it a lot in the past, but now that I’m getting a little older, I wonder if it’s ever worth it in the end.
I am single and childfree by choice.
I’ve been in serious relationships and I trust the stories of other women - that’s why I’m single.
But, sometimes I have this feeling like “I don’t want to be alone…” (I have a very small family and my neurodivergence often gets in the way of me making long lasting friendships).
I know that a relationship is not the solution, but sometimes I wish I had “my person” (next to my therapist lol, not making the person my therapist).
I know that there are “diamonds in the rough”, so to speak (just watched Aladdin again) so some women are radical feminists even while married with children. The problem is that I don’t know any of them. I tend to attract and be attracted to the most toxic men out there.
How do I keep my mind on what’s good for me?
I have a two hour break between two of my classes. It was fun exploring the college campus at first, but now I’m just bored. I eat and do some homework, but then I’m just there. Sometimes I socialize, but not always. Help.
What motivates you? What does your life revolve around (for better or worse)?
What do you spend most of your time thinking about, or what do you look forward to by the end of the week, month, or year?
In my earlier 20s, I left a lot of places. I’ve cut off harmful relatives, manipulative exes, exploitative jobs.
I’ve also left organizations, and then organizations that help those who’ve left said organizations adapt to a new life.
Eventually, I made amends with the relatives. Not because I missed them so much, but rather because I needed help. Thankfully, things have improved.
Now I’m wondering what it’d be like to make amends or even visit old jobs, the life after the organization community, etc.
Do you have stories of coming back? Was it worth it, did it feel entirely different, or was it bad?
The victims are typically aware, appear tired at work, but then go home and pretend their workplace doesn’t exist. They have time for friends, family, romance. They’re still fashionable, put together, in touch with current events. Wtf? When I worked in toxic places, they took over my life.
The victims are typically aware, appear tired at work, but then go home and pretend their workplace doesn’t exist. They have time for friends, family, romance. They’re still fashionable, put together, in touch with current events. Wtf? When I worked in toxic places, they took over my life.
My old life basically consisted of being overworked and spending all my free time at the club.
I got a new job and stopped going out, but now I have no social.
I feel triggered every weekend. I've gone back to the club a few times, but I'd end up overdrinking because my tolerance is low. I just don't want to live like that anymore.
It helps to spend time with family, but sometimes my weekends just feel too slow. What do you do for fun if you've been in the same boat?
An old coworker told me that after I quit, the place fell apart. Nobody realized that I was doing like 3 different jobs and everyone was too burnt out to take any of these jobs on.
Managers had to step up and fill in, especially the one that was the biggest bully!
They have an additional manager now who nobody likes. He doesn’t fix anything, just adds on even more and pressures everyone to work faster.
I was never going to be happy to hear that everyone’s suffering, but I thought that at least knowing that the managers have to do my job/s would make me feel incredible.
Why do I feel so neutral?
An old coworker told me that after I quit, the place fell apart. Nobody realized that I was doing like 3 different jobs and everyone was too burnt out to take any of these jobs on.
Managers had to step up and fill in, especially the one that was the biggest bully!
They have an additional manager now who nobody likes. He doesn’t fix anything, just adds on even more and pressures everyone to work faster.
I was never going to be happy to hear that everyone’s suffering, but I thought that at least knowing that the managers have to do my job/s would make me feel incredible.
Why do I feel so neutral?
An old coworker told me that after I quit, the place fell apart. Nobody realized that I was doing like 3 different jobs and everyone was too burnt out to take any of these jobs on.
Managers had to step up and fill in, especially the one that was the biggest bully!
They have an additional manager now who nobody likes. He doesn’t fix anything, just adds on even more and pressures everyone to work faster.
I was never going to be happy to hear that everyone’s suffering, but I thought that at least knowing that the managers have to do my job/s would make me feel incredible.
Why do I feel so neutral?
It was a classic, toxic workplace.
Screaming boss, unaddressed sexual harassment, scapegoating, high school behavior from people twice your age, toxic office lady that bullied anyone younger than her, the works.
Now I’m in a much quieter place in my life, so sometimes I miss the place. I don’t miss the job itself, nor necessarily the people lol, more like the very few perks, fast pace (SOUNDS good when you’re in a slower stage of life), the familiarity of the place (wonder what it looks like now/if it’s still the same), and even the highs and lows (the trauma bonding). Sometimes, I want to visit.
How do you stop yourself? Is there a simple sentence you remember, one specific incident, or do you just walk yourself through the reality and decide not to? Help.
I’ve been a patron of the LGBT spaces near me (bars, clubs, weekly drag shows) for over 3 years. I spend so much that I found out I’m known for it by the bartenders. I tip the queens well (so many people unfortunately don’t), bring other queer people in, and I’ve been the life of the party too many times to count (mental health was in the drain, so I was partying it up to survive).
Yet every single time that I come (as a fem presenting bisexual), I get stared down by someone new. They think I’m lost.
When I don’t come for long periods of time and revisit, it’s even worse. I find out there are rumors about me from like 6 months ago. I’m the weird straight girl who makes random appearances. Even some of the staff seem to watch me closer.
I’m not even going to get into blatant biphobia I’ve experienced at said spaces (people telling me they’d never date someone bi and then attempting to hook up with me, hosts asking “who’s bi!?!” And then booing at us).
I try my best to recreate old nights, when everyone wanted to be my friend (for the night) because I was so funny and good as a wing woman. But I’m no longer that baby bi who will do anything for validation and practically kiss the ground that drag queens and queer elders walk on. I am too old for that. I just want to get in, have a drink, see some old friends, and keep it moving.
I’m mad because I realize now that it’ll never happen. LGBT spaces aren’t made with bisexuals in mind, especially fem presenting ones.
If so, what happened? If not, have you seen others visit? How was it?
I have a few:
Someone crying on my first week about being overworked and getting mad that I didn’t help them (as their job has nothing to do with mine).
I had a coworker who, instead of doing their job, performed rituals from other cultures when repeatedly being called out on their laziness.
An old boss who mocked anyone half their age for going out on the weekends, saying they need to grow up, all while (publicly) posting thirst traps and buying followers on social media.
Being closely monitored because I would spend my lunch breaks outside. I caught someone watching me through the camera.
Being stalked and reached out to for several years after quitting a job.
I have a few:
Someone crying on my first week about being overworked and getting mad that I didn’t help them (as their job has nothing to do with mine).
I had a coworker who, instead of doing their job, performed rituals from other cultures when repeatedly being called out on their laziness.
An old boss who mocked anyone half their age for going out on the weekends, saying they need to grow up, all while (publicly) posting thirst traps and buying followers on social media.
A manager who would take unscheduled smoke breaks with staff in the middle of very busy days.
Being stalked and reached out to for several years after quitting a job.
I can literally make up whole scenarios for why people do bad things and I’m quick to judge myself for judging others.
Yet when it comes to myself, I judge myself based on how I THINK people perceive/judge me.
I’m so tired of ruminating.
Have you ever had a weird feeling or a straight up sign (like an itching ear, a dropped stomach, etc) that stopped you from going somewhere or connecting with someone and then it turned out you were protected from something big? Whether it was physical or emotional damage.