u/Effective-Air396

Not the Instagram version. Not “take a bath, light a candle, and tell yourself you’re safe.”

I mean when your nervous system has learned, for very good reasons, that the world can turn on you—and your body doesn’t buy the reassurance just because your mind knows better.

What have you actually done that helped build a felt sense of safety over time? What made a difference in the body, not just intellectually?

I’m interested in what people with trauma have found—not theory, but what genuinely moved the needle.

They are serving a life sentence at Maine State Prison - I would like to correspond with them. How is this done?

Every thing we do, say or think is being collected as information, not by AI, not by a government (although what we do can be true - internet/face recognition/surveillance cameras et al), but by the the Field, the Scripter, the Architect, Creator, Source - however it may be that this is deemed. We may think we're getting *away* with something, that it went undetected, that we somehow got a free ride, but this is not true. There are many names for this: Karma, Reshimo, Causality, Akashic and more. Modern physics challenges strict linear time through non-locality, retrocausality, and indefinite causal loops, mirroring ancient metaphysical ideas that actions and records echo across reality. So where does that leave humanity?

Pretty much doing what humanity has done since time immemorial - hiding behind excuses. *It wasn't me, it was them* The old blame games that surface when caught. I am positing that it would be an excellent time in history to begin embracing the notion that we are not alone on this planet, that there is consequences for our actions, measure for measure but sometimes even 10 fold and this works for positive or negative. If you follow the essential Universal Laws, show compassion, do good, feed the hungry, help the needy, love your neighbor, this will return 10 fold in blessings. If the opposite is done, hatred, violence, taking advantage of the sick or needy or homeless or those that suffering, so it will be done to you. Sometimes these laws of Repricocity are meted out immediately, some are meted out over time, some in another lifetime, but justice is always served for good or worse. Sometimes this justice is delivered to an individual, sometimes to a collective, a city, a family, a country, and sometimes to generations. But justice always must be given. Sometimes severity of justice is weighed against the good a person has done, then Mercy is shown. Everything is always perfectly executed, and there are no mistakes.

One last thought: if we knew this inherently, if we were taught this by our parents, in schools, if this Law was known to us, would we be so adamant on doing whatever it we wished to do? Would we reign our ego in? Would we self govern? Would that possibly be the outcome of knowing that nobody gets a free pass in this world?

Anyone else remember being a really sensitive kid—and whether anybody actually noticed? Meltdowns, sensitivity to loud noises, inability to self-regulate emotions as a small child?

Not just “sensitive” in the sense of crying easily, but picking up on everything, feeling things intensely, being unusually perceptive, affected by people’s moods, noise, tension, cruelty, etc.

Did an adult ever look at you and actually get it? Or did they just see a weird, difficult, dramatic, shy, overly emotional kid?

And if someone did notice—what did they actually do about it?

Anyone else remember being a really sensitive kid—and whether anybody actually noticed? Meltdowns, sensitivity to loud noises, inability to self-regulate emotions as a small child?

Not just “sensitive” in the sense of crying easily, but picking up on everything, feeling things intensely, being unusually perceptive, affected by people’s moods, noise, tension, cruelty, etc.

Did an adult ever look at you and actually get it? Or did they just see a weird, difficult, dramatic, shy, overly emotional kid?

And if someone did notice—what did they actually do about it?

Maybe everyone's been entirely off about this seemingly disorder, but it's actually a gift. Here is just one part of this study from 1992 no less. The entirety is in PDF which I will link below.

GIFTEDNESS AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE IN BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: THEIR RELEVANCE TO GENESIS AND TREATMENT Lee C. Park, MD, John B. Imboden, MD, Thomas J. Park, PhD, Stewart H. Hulse, PhD, and H. Thomas Unger, MD

This clinical study of 23 borderline outpatients and 38 outpatients with other personality disorders provides evidence that individuals who become borderline frequently have a special talent or gift, namely a potential to be unusually perceptive about the feelings of others. We postulate that this talent is derived from an innate characteristic rather than simply arising from early environmental influences. We also present evidence that chronic, severe, pervasive psychological abuse, or "mind abuse," is the most frequent and significant form of caretaker abuse (vs. sexual or physical) in the childhood histories of this disorder. Our data support the hypothesis that the interaction of a child's gifted characteristics with this abuse creates a tragic drama that is etiological for BPD in a substantial number of cases. We propose that the abuse markedly perverts not only use of the perceptual talents (e.g., powerfully compelling projective identification) but overall psychological development. We discuss how these issues are relevant to the conduct of effective therapy.

continued - https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Lee-Park-4/publication/273929458_Giftedness_and_Psychological_Abuse_in_Borderline_Personality_Disorder_Their_Relevance_to_Genesis_and_Treatment/links/5a0b7a71aca2721a23f9d553/Giftedness-and-Psychological-Abuse-in-Borderline-Personality-Disorder-Their-Relevance-to-Genesis-and-Treatment.pdf

It's off 99.9 per cent of the time - but it's an evil thing, always has been unless I know the person and they're kind. I can't hear much anyway - I have tinnitus and misophonia and complex trauma. I am sorely in need of therapy and even to navigate to that I will have to use the phone because email seems to be not the way. I sent out 10 emails last week - nobody is replying. Either this is the universe telling me that I am on my own and to deal or everyone is away. I had this with landlines and would just never answer the phone. It's something about the audio/voices that effects me in combination with everything else. Don't get me started on how the convos of other people also irk. But I have to learn how to reign in my anger - if anyone knows, write how.

Wondering if relational disruption from infancy, being an unplanned pregnancy, estranged parents, emotionally unavailable caretakers and left to cry it out would result in a life-time avoidance of humans, relationships and self-imposed isolation.

I've been through a lot. Been kidnapped, left for dead, was medically experimented on with truth serum when I was 17 and anorexic, was beaten when heavily pregnant, in countless life or death situations, in war-zones, saw some horrific things that nobody should ever have to witness. Moving from place to place, the illnesses, the medical gaslighting, but the worst were the moments of being entirely alone, facing it all and having neither friend nor ally in human form. There I was, just me vs the world and all it had to throw at me, and through tooth and nail, there I survived.

I am facing yet another move, move number 10 since arriving to this country. Everything has been packed, it's all in boxes and bags since December and still have no idea where I am going. And so, last week I'm just doing my regular chores and notice that the screen had a hole pushed inwards. That's it, been here and with this before. Rats. The last time I had an infestation I went ballistic - went all out war. Got the traps, got the baits, got the exterminator and got the demolition guy to seal up the place where they'd apparently gotten in. Now, there's another round to deal with. Caught one in a trap, but I am not that resolved to deal with it entirely alone when it comes to disposal. I need backup. I get random guy from the street to assist. He does - one down and another one just woke me up from a deep sleep. On me. That happened before. On me, my body as I slept. Yes, that freaked me out. The first time I was incredibly upset. Tonight as this is being written, I am wide-awake after another one crawled on me. I put out the trap. I can only pray it will be the last one till I get out of here.

So then, I ask, why all of this? Why are these things happening to a sensitive, intelligent and kind-hearted person? What's the deal, God? Why me? Again? Isn't this enough already? The laundry-list of constant traumas is hugely long. The only answers I've come up with is - overcome your fears. Trust, faith and fear nothing. Easier said than done, but this is my life. I could have stayed in my country of birth, a very nice place, no rats. Bears, deer, trees - very lovely. Waterfalls too. I think it's been to teach me that everything is a lesson. The lesson here is keep my boundaries hermetically sealed. Zero lapses. Attend to all tears immediately and leave nothing to chance. This is just another test of courage is all.

Just putting this here, the aspect of evil. How it permeates consciousness and is a plague on humanity. I think we've all had this experience, and am pretty sure it never started with birth but way, way before. Two-three generations, maybe 4, and that energy just passes down the generational highway via DNA and nuance, one day arriving in the minds of 2 individuals who have intercourse and 9 months later, after marinating in a womb rife with cortisol and ambivalence, hearing the screams and feeling the pain via all of those genes that move from mother to infant and back again in a exchange of vital information of who is experiencing what, to be born into a world of trauma and essentially thereafter being a magnet for all that may be construed as evil. Why? Existentially why? Let's get straight down into it. My feeling, as an alien anomaly, is that we're here to transform that. Let the downvoting commence. But here is the pov as given by tptb:

Nothing happens arbitrarily. Everything has the sole/soul purpose of becoming light. That is the plan. We're the gatherers of the sparks that have fallen so low, so terribly soaked in horror that only a specific few have the capacity to mine them out. Guess what those triggers of venturing there are called? Yeah - repeated trauma. Why are we traumatized? Because it's a normal response to evil. Repeated interactions with the evil we're here on this planet, on the lowest level, in the darkest place, with no filters and only the faintest of memory of who we actually are. We are essentially, to reframe CPTSD - Miners of light. Triggered to the gills from evil in its rawest manifestations residing mostly now on the mental level. That is it. Find the light within the evil, embody the refined energy that comes from trans-formation, and that is what is known as Good. Clearing it now from memory is the job. At least now it's been named.

Hope you have a safe journey.

When I was dropped here many years ago, I had no idea where I landed. But the inhabitants clearly were adapted to the climate, the nuances, the language and they were also well-versed in meting out pain. Their area of expertise was psychological and mental tricks that would leave their imprints, cause the soul to question its authority and in this the profound grief and sadness engulfed.

I called my Home Team, pleaded with them time after time - get me out of here - I want to go Home, but there was silence. I never understood why they just couldn't beam me up. Apparently there was a reason I was chosen for this mission, me the ever-observer and fast one. The zoomer of the stars, constantly chasing moon beams and comets before ever setting foot here. Maybe I was up for a challenge. Maybe this was punishment. Maybe I was inserted into this realm of Pain to impart a particular energy yet unknown. No answers were received and the only sounds I could ever tune into were that of nature. It was a small reminder of where I'd come from.

I wouldn't be that upset if I had my vehicle here. If I had my mode of favorite transportation, to get from point A to Z in a flash. Here everything is tedious, slow, infected and at odds with life. Communication is one-sided, but occasionally there will be a sign, something, some unique something or someone who appears to re-mind me that there might be a way out, up and back. Light is the energy, the sustaining mode, the strengthener and with this knowledge I venture into the darkest places of humanity. The squalor mostly. The inhabitable places, where a rigid sullen angst and anguish settled in. I come, I see, I experience, I clean, I leave. Leaving this time, seems to be fraught with another element. What it is, I do not know. My beloveds have left me for the heavens, I have no thing to tether me here, yet I stay, the inner light lit, yet war again, the zone again - the trauma cycles again. I am packed, the boxes and bags all say - healing stuff. I'm just waiting for the call on where, and I'm there in a flash.

Medical, plant or in general?

Every single one, my words aren't heard and there are elements that just push every single button - and all together. I have to believe this cosmic beatdown has some lesson embedded, though I cannot get to it.

Seeing and knowing the trends, what's literally going to happen, trying to change the consensus and getting flack because people are very content in their bubbles and comfort zone, but you don't care about ruffled feathers so you just keep on keeping on?

Thinking it has to do with some kind of feedback loop, or validation of some sort. What do you think?

Never thought I'd ask - what's the verdict?

This situation is continual, since the ages of 11, 12 and 17 when I was subjected to abuses by individuals who took advantage of a child. From that time I've experienced PID, lower left side (repeated ER visits) Mittleschmerz for decades, painful periods, UTI's, fibroids, atrophy and now a benign lipoma growing there. My ex also beat me when I was heavily pregnant. Now I want to heal my womb and do whatever I can to clear this energy from my system. Whatever is residing needs to exit. Has anyone done something similar with a similar background and symptoms?

PM is someone I keep going back to but his albums are now on repeat too many times so looking to branch out to other excellent guitarists. Looking for melodious and soft guitar improvs. What is out there that doesn't go off the rails but sticks with the pieces from beginning to end in an elegant way***?***