i am standing
on the edge
of summer,
but i never
left december.
you are
moving on
while i was left
in the cold
you couldn’t even
leave me a coat.
i’m alone.
can you show me
that there’s any
hope left that
i can hold?
i doubt you would,
even if you could.
i am standing
on the edge
of summer,
but i never
left december.
you are
moving on
while i was left
in the cold
you couldn’t even
leave me a coat.
i’m alone.
can you show me
that there’s any
hope left that
i can hold?
i doubt you would,
even if you could.
i am standing
on the edge
of summer,
but i never
left december.
you are
moving on
while i was left
in the cold
you couldn’t even
leave me a coat.
i’m alone.
can you show me
that there’s any
hope left that
i can hold?
i doubt you would,
even if you could.
vertigo keeps me
up at night.
it’s like being
underwater
only when i close my eyes.
sleep used to be
the only time
i didn’t feel
like i was
drowning.
lately,
peaceful sleep
has been washed away.
i thought medication
would be my lifeline,
but the undertow
took my dreams.
i can’t escape
the current.
vertigo keeps me
up at night.
it’s like being
underwater
only when i close my eyes.
sleep used to be
the only time
i didn’t feel
like i was
drowning.
lately,
peaceful sleep
has been washed away.
i thought medication
would be my lifeline,
but the undertow
took my dreams.
i can’t escape
the current.
i talk more
with my
poetry
than i do with
anyone else.
it doesn’t
respond either.
© Nicholas Pagliarini
i talk more
with my
poetry
than i do with
anyone else.
it doesn’t
respond either.
i talk more
with my
poetry
than i do with
anyone else.
it doesn’t
respond either.
i talk more
with my
poetry
than i do with
anyone else.
it doesn’t
respond either.
who am I?
i know it’s
not me.
i am not
you.
who am I?
i’m not lost
i can’t be found.
you didn’t see me,
i wasn’t there.
there’s no I in me,
and there’s no
me in you.
who am I?
i know it’s
not me.
i am not
you.
who am I?
i’m not lost
i can’t be found.
you didn’t see me,
i wasn’t there.
there’s no I in me,
and there’s no
me in you.
who am I?
i know it’s
not me.
i am not
you.
who am I?
i’m not lost
i can’t be found.
you didn’t see me,
i wasn’t there.
there’s no I in me,
and there’s no
me in you.
i’ve got stitches
they were supposed to
be taken out,
but I can’t
bring myself
to do it.
they’re
the only thing
holding me together.
i’ve left them in
too long,
the wound
is beginning
to smell,
i can’t escape
the itch.
i’m afraid
if the thread
gets cut
i’m exposed.
i’ve got stitches
they were supposed to
be taken out,
but I can’t
bring myself
to do it.
they’re
the only thing
holding me together.
i’ve left them in
too long,
the wound
is beginning
to smell,
i can’t escape
the itch.
i’m afraid
if the thread
gets cut
i’m exposed.
i’ve got stitches
they were supposed to
be taken out,
but I can’t
bring myself
to do it.
they’re
the only thing
holding me together.
i’ve left them in
too long,
the wound
is beginning
to smell,
i can’t escape
the itch.
i’m afraid
if the thread
gets cut
i’m exposed.
** **
I arrived at The Strand Ballroom and Theatre around 7:30 p.m. with no expectations. The night’s bill was Giant Waste of Man and Silversun Pickups. I walked in with a blank slate. I had never heard of Giant Waste of Man, and Silversun Pickups were mostly familiar to me by name. Aside from the hour I spent listening before the show, I had no real attachment to either band.
The Strand was already close to full during Giant Waste of Man’s set and felt packed by the time Silversun Pickups took the stage. The staff were friendly and professional, and even though the merch line stretched out, it moved quickly. With five bars throughout the venue, getting a drink was manageable, especially toward the back of the room. The two stage-side bars became harder to reach once the crowd filled in. Most of the audience appeared to be in their 30s and 40s, with a few younger faces scattered throughout the room. Quite a few people brought their kids, which added to the relaxed atmosphere. There was a mellow energy radiating through The Strand all night.
I was a little late to the show, so by the time I walked into the venue, Giant Waste of Man was already on stage. The first thing I noticed was how modest their production was. They were working with only the overhead lights, giving the set a stripped-down feel from the start. Their performance had enough energy and emotional pull to catch my attention, even though I was coming in completely unfamiliar. The saxophone was the detail that really separated their set. They also mentioned that a band member’s parent had traveled from California to see the show at The Strand, which made the performance feel more personal. They proved to be the perfect opener for Silversun Pickups.
When Silversun Pickups took the stage, the production immediately felt bigger. A row of LED blinders lined the stage, giving their set a more atmospheric look from the start. Blue and purple light moved through the haze, giving the room a dreamlike feeling before the band had even settled into the set. Silversun Pickups’ performance explained why I knew their name before I had ever spent real time with their music. They performed with a level of emotional precision that would be difficult to replicate, drawing the crowd into a trance of nostalgia. Their vocals and instrumentation stayed sharp from start to finish, giving the entire set a sense of control and confidence. The crowd was eating it up, clapping, singing along, and dancing to the basslines.
Something the lead singer of Silversun Pickups said toward the end of the set really stuck with me: “Sanity is rebellion.” I couldn’t hear the rest of what he said, but for some reason, that statement made me feel seen in a sea of people. It felt like a quote I could live by. As someone with no real attachment to either band before seeing them, I can say that both bands won me over as a fan.
If you love live music, support it. Buy tickets. Buy merch when you’re there. That is what keeps bands and venues alive.
I arrived at The Strand Ballroom and Theatre around 7:30 p.m. with no expectations. The night’s bill was Giant Waste of Man and Silversun Pickups. I walked in with a blank slate. I had never heard of Giant Waste of Man, and Silversun Pickups were mostly familiar to me by name. Aside from the hour I spent listening before the show, I had no real attachment to either band.
The Strand was already close to full during Giant Waste of Man’s set and felt packed by the time Silversun Pickups took the stage. The staff were friendly and professional, and even though the merch line stretched out, it moved quickly. With five bars throughout the venue, getting a drink was manageable, especially toward the back of the room. The two stage-side bars became harder to reach once the crowd filled in. Most of the audience appeared to be in their 30s and 40s, with a few younger faces scattered throughout the room. Quite a few people brought their kids, which added to the relaxed atmosphere. There was a mellow energy radiating through The Strand all night.
I was a little late to the show, so by the time I walked into the venue, Giant Waste of Man was already on stage. The first thing I noticed was how modest their production was. They were working with only the overhead lights, giving the set a stripped-down feel from the start. Their performance had enough energy and emotional pull to catch my attention, even though I was coming in completely unfamiliar. The saxophone was the detail that really separated their set. They also mentioned that a band member’s parent had traveled from California to see the show at The Strand, which made the performance feel more personal. They proved to be the perfect opener for Silversun Pickups.
When Silversun Pickups took the stage, the production immediately felt bigger. A row of LED blinders lined the stage, giving their set a more atmospheric look from the start. Blue and purple light moved through the haze, giving the room a dreamlike feeling before the band had even settled into the set. Silversun Pickups’ performance explained why I knew their name before I had ever spent real time with their music. They performed with a level of emotional precision that would be difficult to replicate, drawing the crowd into a trance of nostalgia. Their vocals and instrumentation stayed sharp from start to finish, giving the entire set a sense of control and confidence. The crowd was eating it up, clapping, singing along, and dancing to the basslines.
Something the lead singer of Silversun Pickups said toward the end of the set really stuck with me: “Sanity is rebellion.” I couldn’t hear the rest of what he said, but for some reason, that statement made me feel seen in a sea of people. It felt like a quote I could live by. As someone with no real attachment to either band before seeing them, I can say that both bands won me over as a fan.
If you love live music, support it. Buy tickets. Buy merch when you’re there. That is what keeps bands and venues alive.
if you know me,
then you know hurt.
pain,
i can deal with.
the disconnection
only makes it worse.
yet i smile.
getting closer
doesn’t give me
any closure.
growing numb
has become
the status quo.
if you know me,
you already know,
this is the best
it’s going to get.
** **
** **
First, they take you,
and cut off your eyelids,
to show you who you are.
They show you love
by feeding you
violence.
They cut off your ears,
now you can’t hear the violins.
You’re no longer distracted,
you can only listen to silence.
This is
all you are.
They cut off your fingers
to erase all the prints
of who you think you are.
They take out your organs,
drain all your blood,
cut up your body,
put the pieces in bags,
and take out the trash.
Now they get their payment.
And this is
all that you are.
First, they take you,
and cut off your eyelids,
to show you who you are.
They show you love
by feeding you
violence.
They cut off your ears,
now you can’t hear the violins.
You’re no longer distracted,
you can only listen to silence.
This is
all you are.
They cut off your fingers
to erase all the prints
of who you think you are.
They take out your organs,
drain all your blood,
cut up your body,
put the pieces in bags,
and take out the trash.
Now they get their payment.
And this is
all that you are.