u/Obvious-Gate9046

Undead Guards Episode 380:

Zombie Guard: "Why're we lookin' at these swords for yer brother again? They all seem a bit small for his tastes."

Skeleton Guard: "They are, but anythin' too big an' his current sword might get jealous."

Zombie Guard: "Mmm, yeah, th' danger o' havin' smart-weaponry. I think I'll stick to my good ol' dumb-axe, if ya please."

Skeleton Guard: "I hear ya. Ooh, I think Ssssarah may've found him th' perfect dagger there!"

Zombie Guard: "Now THAT'S a knife!"

Yes, NRA Chief Executive Officer Doug Hamlin pleaded no contest to an animal cruelty charge following a gruesome incident in 1979 where his college fraternity's house cat was tortured and killed.

Details of the Incident

* The Crime: In December 1979, the fraternity house cat named "BK" at the University of Michigan was captured, had its paws chopped off, was hung from a tree, and was set on fire.

* The Motive: Resurfaced media reports indicated the attack was motivated by anger over the cat not using its litter box.

* Hamlin's Position: Hamlin was the president of the Ann Arbor chapter of the Alpha Delta Phi fraternity at the time.

Legal Outcomes & Response

* Plea Deal: In 1980, Hamlin and four fraternity brothers pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor charge of animal cruelty.

* Judicial Rebuke: The presiding district court judge labeled the act "unconscionable and heinous". The judge specifically singled Hamlin out, stating that as fraternity leader, he could have prevented the torture and later engaged in a cover-up to protect his peers.

* Sentencing: Hamlin was expelled from the fraternity and sentenced to 200 hours of animal-related community service, after which his record was expunged.

Guardian story verifying this: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/oct/14/nra-doug-hamlin-cat-killing

Surprised no one has posted this yet

Undead Guards Episode 379:

Skeleton Guard: "I really appreciate ya both helpin' me explore this new corset shop."

Zombie Guard: "No worries, Jana, ya know we're happy ta help. These are for yer banshee friend, right? Is she still datin' yer brother?"

Skeleton Guard: "Yup, they complement each other well. She was tellin' me how they just got back from vacation hauntin' that old Durst family manor house."

Zombie Guard: "Oh yeah, heard about that place, sounds nice. Will these fit her? Ssssarah an' I aren't exactly her size."

Skeleton Guard: "Magical accommodation, it's remarkable how very once-size-fits-all yer basic magical items are."

Zombie Guard: "That makes sense. This spiky one here don't feels like it sends mixed messages, ya know."

Skeleton Guard: "Yeah, but she is a banshee bard, just imagine th' deadly hugs she can give ta foolish enchanted souls."

Zombie Guard: "Ooooh, death hugs. Nice. I may have ta get me one-a these for special occasions."