u/Training_Speed2448

Looking specifically for doctors that take women seriously. I've been having rapid weight loss and fatigue, can't afford to be dismissed if I'm going to spend money at the doctor. What good recommendations do you have?

I don't currently have a doctor and I've been hesitant to go because of finances. I've lost 10 pounds and have been super tired within a few months (as in like, 2-3. I've been 104 pounds since I was 13 with absolutely no fluctuation whatsoever) though and I have been eating normally and not exerting more energy than normal. The thing is nobody I've told is taking me seriously besides my grandma and friend. They all just say I'm lucky or it's the heat. Summer has never affected my weight. I'm also hesitant to go because my boyfriend was having concerns about his own weight and when he went to talk to a doctor she was insanely dismissive and rude. She just told him to eat more or get a trainer and fuck off basically. Not to mention I have mental health history they can pin it on. I can't afford to pay a shit ton of money for a doctor to tell me to be less depressed. I don't know what to do. I don't even know what to ask for really. Augh

Edit: thank you all so much for the concern and suggestions, I'm going to urgent care after work to get some blood tests going while I look for a pcp I can afford. Will try to keep you all updated

To cut right to it my depression is really getting out of hand and I need professional help. I'm just out of the range for state health insurance but I'm still barely scraping by. I'd prefer in person but if I need to do an online program I can try. Not super comfortable with group therapy. If there's any resources please inform me, thank you

I've always been a pretty low energy and depressed person. I'm a homebody I guess, I don't really enjoy going out and doing activities frequently, I'd rather spend my weekend doing absolutely nothing but I've been busy every weekend for god knows how long now. My depression is getting even worse lately and I'm just burnt the fuck out and exhausted constantly. I don't know if it's normal or autistic burnout (I am diagnosed). I got a copper IUD recently after being on the pill too and bled for literally a month or two straight afterwards. Now I'm getting period cramps again too. I sleep in as long as possible and end up late to the job I hate nearly every day, dealing with a volatile asshole boss that drains me even more. Then I don't have any energy or interest in my hobbies anymore, I start and stop after a few minutes because I just don't care to do it. I get stuck in my hwad and worry I'm not good enough at it. I live with my partner and the autism makes me struggle to switch from social mode to relaxing if that makes any sense. It's like when you know someone's going to be stopping by to visit so you just kind of do menial tasks while you wait. But the "visitor" is always here so how can I fully switch gears?

I find myself a little jealous at how easily my partner can immerse in his own hyperfixations and interests after he does his own chores without the same stupid guilt and restlessness I experience. I guess everyone's autism is different. And as much as I love the person I'm with I didn't realize how god damn exhausting it can be to conversate with and emotionally navigate another person every single day even if they're a great person to me. How exhausting working is and upkeep with the chores and shit. How exhausting even driving is. I thought it would be the same as being a kid living with my family and navigating them but it's so different in so many ways. I'm struggling against the urge to isolate like I did as a teen but I keep finding myself doing the daily tasks then going on the opposite end of the house and doomscrolling for hours because I'm socially burnt out. I don't even know how to being this up and talk about it either. I barely understand my own feelings half the time, I just feel like crap, always. I always feel like I'm in autopilot, like I didn't sleep enough or like I just don't want to be anywhere anytime. I want to just drift off and dissociate for a while and not think about finances or socializing or chores or whatever I need to get done. It sucks and I'm struggling.

This is a long story but I want to share all of it. I just want to be heard and I want to know if what happened to me could even be considered SA. Maybe it's just harassment. I really don't know. But I feel weird and I just need to share what happened. I apologize if this doesn't really count

When I turned 18 I was told I had to move out and I couldn't bring my pets to the new place. I had some small pets that I rehomed to a lady that specializes in their species. She also had a son in his mid-late 20s. At first it was a great arrangement, I could come visit my pets whenever I liked and she was very kind. Then her son, oh her son.

He lived with her and I didn't really think much of it at first, he seemed normal enough when they picked up my pets. On a whim about a month or two later I was having a shitty time after a breakup so I finally made the long drive out to see my pets again. It was great, they were adjusting well and happy, I didn't completely agree with the sugary treats she gave them but hey they lived twice as long as their expected lifespan with her so I can't complain really. I don't remember what the conversation was like really. It was somewhat awkward probably as I normally am around new people but I try to be friendly and keep it light. I know after a couple hours her son asked if we could be friends and for my number. I didn't know this guy and I really didn't want to give him my number but I felt pressured to be polite in front of his mom so I did not thinking much of it.

Instantly I go home and the guy is hitting me up. He makes some stupid jokes and I feel weird. He asked if I was flirting with him and I tell him I was only being friendly. I stay polite, I know the guy was talking about his social problems and I have autism as well. I know some people will judge me for not standing up for myself more but please keep in mind I was living in a house with people I don't know, my parental relationship was rocky, and I'd just got dumped, I couldn't lose access to my pets too. I loved these animals and the lady who took them is genuinely sweet and more accepting of me than about anyone else I'd met at that point.

Well the guy doesn't stop there. He messaged me every damn day. He loads on the compliments and talks endlessly and I mean endlessly about his and my mental health, about his shitty dad, his shitty past, his drinking problems, he practically begs me to diagnose him and I tell him I can't do that. He calls and won't get off the phone for hours, sometimes unprompted late at night despite my clear annoyance. Again I get a weird vibe from the guy but I'm trying to stay polite and for now he's just annoying. He tries to flirt again and I remind him I'm not interested. I tell him I've just had a breakup and I'm not comfortable dating older guys. "Well I'm not that much older." I really should have ran I know, I was dumb.

To give him the slightest credit as much as I dog on the guy being a loser he is good at media analysis. His view on my art and stories was something Interesting and engaging. It was the first time someone looked as deeply into it as I did. My friends mean well I know but they never seemed as interested as he was, they would always change the subject not long into the discussion. He also could give a compliment well if he tried and it wasn't centered solely on looks or whatever. His world view was interesting in many ways, and it sucks he's a creep because I really do enjoy deeper philosophical type conversations. I hope I meet someone who talks to me about these topics eventually without a weird ass altereior motive.

He tells me constantly how I'm just so talented and special and just so different and rebellious. Making these deep although often wrong assumptions about my soul and inner world (I talked to this guy for a total of 1-2 months and didn't tell him anything personal enough to warrant this). I don't really reciprocate besides some basic compliments and thanks but it doesn't stop him. All my replies are short except for the art and music I was genuinely so passionate about at the time. I wish I still was. The first alarming behavior was during a holiday. I was excited to celebrate for the first time and so his mother and stepdad picked me up. We were looking at the nighttime decorations on the drive and it was all normal. Just talking about video games and such, he made a couple juvenile sex jokes that I really just ignored (which he later insisted was just how he was and it wasn't meant to weird me out). I was keeping my distance in the backseat and I remember he was pointing out the decorations out his window and I leaned down just a bit to look. I nodded and spoke my approval but he grabbed me and forced me down further. I remember recoiling. But I brushed it off again. Stupidly. So stupidly.

But things just went back to normal. More forced compliments and flirting attempts. I told him I was interested in someone else. Sometimes he would wear things that I'd remarked I like in character design etc. He talked more about the antisocial behavior he had like it was something cool and mysterious. Really he was a loser at best and fucking scary. Whenever I told my family about the shit he did they thought it was just funny. My fault for portraying it comically I guess, but I'll admit I was really looking for the validation that he was a red flag. And I didn't get it. I think I might have visited once or twice again, the next incident was a dance. He wanted to teach me to dance I guess. I used to love dancing too. I chose very upbeat and non close songs on purpose and maintained all the distance I could, but he'd still try to pull me in and made a joke about how I was holding onto his arm. It was so I wouldn't have to touch his gross hands. It was a bit uncomfortable but again nothing big. Until a phone call later. I don't even know how the conversation got brought up but he mentioned his ex kicked his nuts for grabbing her ass once. I told him I didn't blame her and I would do the same.

He said he had "accidentally" touched my ass when we were dancing (which he also referred to us "shaking our asses" which I was very uncomfortable with.) I felt absolutely disgusted. I hadn't even noticed he did that. I don't remember my response. I think I told him to never do that again. He tried to play off some joke about how I could slap his ass to make up for it. For the first time I actually fought back. I told him in a dead serious tone to not ever fucking do that again and surprisingly he had no real reply. I think it was then I distanced myself even more but I really don't remember. I know at some point he joked about putting eye drops in my drink to make me shit myself (those will kill you). I was already watching my drinks in that house.

I met my boyfriend not long after and obviously he was weird and quiet about it. I only visited a couple times when the lady asked me to and I always brought my boyfriend for protection. I really don't think she knew the majority of what her son was doing and I was afraid to say anything because I didn't know how much she would defend her son. The last time I went up there alone it was because one of my pets was ill. My boyfriend was at work and at that point I hadn't told him much of what the guy did, we'd only been dating a couple weeks and he thought the guy was soo smart and charming at the time.

I was extremely uncomfortable that night and agitated. The guy sat next to me on the couch while his mom was in the other room talking to friends. My discomfort and agitation was clear but I passed it off as me being tired. He insinuated my relationship was making me miserable among other things. I said nothing. Then he said if I was tired I could sleep in his bed. That he's stay in the living room. I think my shock was clear. I refused. He insisted. I refused harder, then I got up to leave. While I was telling his mother goodbye he forced a gift on me and made another joke when I was hesitant to take it. It was the last straw. I confronted him over text and he bitched and cried back that I was misunderstanding. I finally blocked him not long after though by then he quit talking to me anyway.

If I remember right the next time I went up there was when he was in a mental hospital in a city several hours away for a violent act on himself and threatening others. It was all scary and surreal and happened within a few months. So many things I once loved passionately were tainted by his memory and I really lost interest. Including in my pets. It's depressing really but I only saw them a couple times after that when they were on the verge of death. These animals that I had held and fed and loved, that rode on my shoulder and followed me around the house, had been taken from me by this piece of shit whocoulent take a no. And he was there one of those times, with long hair, which is insanely uncanny. I hope he didn't grow it out thinking it would make me like him but I wouldn't put it past him at this point. I think his mom caught on finally and stopped asking me to come by. The last time I was there was November and in the year previous I knew them my visits were often months separated.

My last pet died. She called yesterday to tell me the news. It was depressing and harrowing. She informed me that her son had gotten married within a month of meeting a girl in December and well. I hope the best for her I guess. At least she isn't a teenager like I was when he targeted me. She told me his wife said he would have to stop messaging me if they wanted to be together. That is horrifying. I blocked this man nearly a year ago. I don't even want to know what any of those unread messages were. I asked her a few things, I was finally able to have something of the conversation with her I've wanted to for so long. She said he was pissed at me for rejecting him which I figured, he couldn't understand why I would choose my boyfriend over him and why his mom thought we were a good match. About what I expected. And she warned me away from him when I admitted I didn't visit because I was afraid of him. Ironically that validation I wanted from my parents all along. She said to keep him blocked and not to talk to him for my own sake and that if I wanted to see her it would be completely away from him.

I don't know where to go from here. I know I'll have to see her to get the ashes of my pets and she offered to treat us to lunch when we get them. It sounds nice. though I admit I'm still a little shaken from the whole ordeal. I don't know if I did a good job portraying the cold terror I got every time I was near this guy but I felt it. It's a damn shame. All of it. This lady is genuinely so kind, she's passionate about taking care of these animals and she's spirited in a way I aspire to be. I feel the weird contention between my genuine appreciation and kinship with this lady and feeling some betrayal that she didn't do anything. I know her son's father was a vile man, and her Son is mentally unwell. I'm sure it's hard and at the very least she admitted he's not a saint. It's all so, strange. I tried to separate my art from him but I can't always. I can't engage in my writing and stories the way I used to now despite my efforts. I can't enjoy that species of pet without thinking of him. But I'm trying. I guess I'm just trying to understand or justify why I went back there. I don't know how to feel. Was this assault? Is this even really that serious?

Warning for a mention of SA and mental health issues. Reposted from another sub because I'm going through a whirlwind and I want my story heard. It's a long read, so I apologize.

When I turned 18 I was told I had to move out and I couldn't bring my pets to the new place. I had some small pets that I rehomed to a lady that specializes in their species. She also had a son in his mid-late 20s. At first it was a great arrangement, I could come visit my pets whenever I liked and she was very kind. Then her son, oh her son.

He lived with her and I didn't really think much of it at first, he seemed normal enough when they picked up my pets. On a whim about a month or two later I was having a shitty time after a breakup so I finally made the long drive out to see my pets again. It was great, they were adjusting well and happy, I didn't completely agree with the sugary treats she gave them but hey they lived twice as long as their expected lifespan with her so I can't complain really. I don't remember what the conversation was like really. It was somewhat awkward probably as I normally am around new people but I try to be friendly and keep it light. I know after a couple hours her son asked if we could be friends and for my number. I didn't know this guy and I really didn't want to give him my number but I felt pressured to be polite in front of his mom so I did not thinking much of it.

Instantly I go home and the guy is hitting me up. He makes some stupid jokes and I feel weird. He asked if I was flirting with him and I tell him I was only being friendly. I stay polite, I know the guy was talking about his social problems and I have autism as well. I know some people will judge me for not standing up for myself more but please keep in mind I was living in a house with people I don't know, my parental relationship was rocky, and I'd just got dumped, I couldn't lose access to my pets too. I loved these animals and the lady who took them is genuinely sweet and more accepting of me than about anyone else I'd met at that point.

Well the guy doesn't stop there. He messaged me every damn day. He loads on the compliments and talks endlessly and I mean endlessly about his and my mental health, about his shitty dad, his shitty past, his drinking problems, he practically begs me to diagnose him and I tell him I can't do that. He calls and won't get off the phone for hours, sometimes unprompted late at night despite my clear annoyance. Again I get a weird vibe from the guy but I'm trying to stay polite and for now he's just annoying. He tries to flirt again and I remind him I'm not interested. I tell him I've just had a breakup and I'm not comfortable dating older guys. "Well I'm not that much older." I really should have ran I know, I was dumb.

To give him the slightest credit as much as I dog on the guy being a loser he is good at media analysis. His view on my art and stories was something Interesting and engaging. It was the first time someone looked as deeply into it as I did. My friends mean well I know but they never seemed as interested as he was, they would always change the subject not long into the discussion. He also could give a compliment well if he tried and it wasn't centered solely on looks or whatever. His world view was interesting in many ways, and it sucks he's a creep because I really do enjoy deeper philosophical type conversations. I hope I meet someone who talks to me about these topics eventually without a weird ass altereior motive.

He tells me constantly how I'm just so talented and special and just so different and rebellious. Making these deep although often wrong assumptions about my soul and inner world (I talked to this guy for a total of 1-2 months and didn't tell him anything personal enough to warrant this). I don't really reciprocate besides some basic compliments and thanks but it doesn't stop him. All my replies are short except for the art and music I was genuinely so passionate about at the time. I wish I still was. The first alarming behavior was during a holiday. I was excited to celebrate for the first time and so his mother and stepdad picked me up. We were looking at the nighttime decorations on the drive and it was all normal. Just talking about video games and such, he made a couple juvenile sex jokes that I really just ignored (which he later insisted was just how he was and it wasn't meant to weird me out). I was keeping my distance in the backseat and I remember he was pointing out the decorations out his window and I leaned down just a bit to look. I nodded and spoke my approval but he grabbed me and forced me down further. I remember recoiling. But I brushed it off again. Stupidly. So stupidly.

But things just went back to normal. More forced compliments and flirting attempts. I told him I was interested in someone else. Sometimes he would wear things that I'd remarked I like in character design etc. He talked more about the antisocial behavior he had like it was something cool and mysterious. Really he was a loser at best and fucking scary. Whenever I told my family about the shit he did they thought it was just funny. My fault for portraying it comically I guess, but I'll admit I was really looking for the validation that he was a red flag. And I didn't get it. I think I might have visited once or twice again, the next incident was a dance. He wanted to teach me to dance I guess. I used to love dancing too. I chose very upbeat and non close songs on purpose and maintained all the distance I could, but he'd still try to pull me in and made a joke about how I was holding onto his arm. It was so I wouldn't have to touch his gross hands. It was a bit uncomfortable but again nothing big. Until a phone call later. I don't even know how the conversation got brought up but he mentioned his ex kicked his nuts for grabbing her ass once. I told him I didn't blame her and I would do the same.

He said he had "accidentally" touched my ass when we were dancing (which he also referred to us "shaking our asses" which I was very uncomfortable with.) I felt absolutely disgusted. I hadn't even noticed he did that. I don't remember my response. I think I told him to never do that again. He tried to play off some joke about how I could slap his ass to make up for it. For the first time I actually fought back. I told him in a dead serious tone to not ever fucking do that again and surprisingly he had no real reply. I think it was then I distanced myself even more but I really don't remember. I know at some point he joked about putting eye drops in my drink to make me shit myself (those will kill you). I was already watching my drinks in that house.

I met my boyfriend not long after and obviously he was weird and quiet about it. I only visited a couple times when the lady asked me to and I always brought my boyfriend for protection. I really don't think she knew the majority of what her son was doing and I was afraid to say anything because I didn't know how much she would defend her son. The last time I went up there alone it was because one of my pets was ill. My boyfriend was at work and at that point I hadn't told him much of what the guy did, we'd only been dating a couple weeks and he thought the guy was soo smart and charming at the time.

I was extremely uncomfortable that night and agitated. The guy sat next to me on the couch while his mom was in the other room talking to friends. My discomfort and agitation was clear but I passed it off as me being tired. He insinuated my relationship was making me miserable among other things. I said nothing. Then he said if I was tired I could sleep in his bed. That he's stay in the living room. I think my shock was clear. I refused. He insisted. I refused harder, then I got up to leave. While I was telling his mother goodbye he forced a gift on me and made another joke when I was hesitant to take it. It was the last straw. I confronted him over text and he bitched and cried back that I was misunderstanding. I finally blocked him not long after though by then he quit talking to me anyway.

If I remember right the next time I went up there was when he was in a mental hospital in a city several hours away for a violent act on himself and threatening others. It was all scary and surreal and happened within a few months. So many things I once loved passionately were tainted by his memory and I really lost interest. Including in my pets. It's depressing really but I only saw them a couple times after that when they were on the verge of death. These animals that I had held and fed and loved, that rode on my shoulder and followed me around the house, had been taken from me by this piece of shit who couldn't take a no. And he was there one of those times, with long hair, which is insanely uncanny. I hope he didn't grow it out thinking it would make me like him but I wouldn't put it past him at this point. I think his mom caught on finally and stopped asking me to come by. The last time I was there was November and in the year previous I knew them my visits were often months separated.

My last pet died. She called yesterday to tell me the news. It was depressing and harrowing. She informed me that her son had gotten married within a month of meeting a girl in December and well. I hope the best for her I guess. At least she isn't a teenager like I was when he targeted me. I don't know if it's worse she's an adult with special need kids, lord help them. She told me his wife said he would have to stop messaging me if they wanted to be together. That is horrifying. I blocked this man nearly a year ago. I don't even want to know what any of those unread messages were. I asked her a few things, I was finally able to have something of the conversation with her I've wanted to for so long. She said he was pissed at me for rejecting him which I figured, he couldn't understand why I would choose my boyfriend over him and why his mom thought we were a good match. About what I expected. And she warned me away from him when I admitted I didn't visit because I was afraid of him. Ironically that validation I wanted from my parents all along. She said to keep him blocked and not to talk to him for my own sake and that if I wanted to see her it would be completely away from him.

I don't know where to go from here. I know I'll have to see her to get the ashes of my pets and she offered to treat us to lunch when we get them. It sounds nice. though I admit I'm still a little shaken from the whole ordeal. I don't know if I did a good job portraying the cold terror I got every time I was near this guy but I felt it. It's a damn shame. All of it. This lady is genuinely so kind, she's passionate about taking care of these animals and she's spirited in a way I aspire to be. I feel the weird contention between my genuine appreciation and kinship with this lady and feeling some betrayal that she didn't do anything. I know her son's father was a vile man, and her Son is mentally unwell. I'm sure it's hard and at the very least she admitted he's not a saint. It's all so, strange. I tried to separate my art from him but I can't always. I can't engage in my writing and stories the way I used to now despite my efforts. I can't enjoy that species of pet without thinking of him. But I'm trying. Oh well and God damn it

To add to this I'm just so mad. Being a woman shouldn't feel like a punishment. This shouldn't be something I should just be expected to deal with. It shouldn't be a funny joke story. I shouldn't have to worry that I can't visit my own damn pets because I could get assaulted. I shouldn't have to act like it's fine that this guy is making me fear for my life just because he has mental health problems. I'm pissed and I'm sad and I'm just exhausted.

Was driving around that area earlier and saw a ton of people standing around, what's going on? Is there an event or something?

Turned 20. I usually get a text of acknowledgement but I think they forgot this year. I'm thankful for my boyfriend celebrating with me though. I feel like the more I'm independent and as much as I think I'm escaping this religion it always ends up reading it's head again and reminding me. I have no idea what to do from here. I'm riddled with anxiety still and stuck in a survival mindset that the threat of Armageddon has compounded in me. And I don't know how to appreciate myself. Still don't remind people of my birthday because it feels entitled and selfish to do it. I know it's just the mindset I was raised with. But damn. Screw this religion for stunting me in so many ways

I'm turning 20 on Sunday. I was taken out of school after elementary. I got a job at 14 and had to move out at 18 because I never gave into being a witness. I was the golden child. I had to be a regulated adult back when I still thought the word fuck was the ultimate evil and I feel like I have no idea how to be a normal young adult. I don't really want to. I'm worried I seem like a trad wife though and I'm not. Yesterday really felt like a parody of teen romance. Like an old 60s song that conveniently leaves out the non PG things teens do.

My boyfriend and I went for a walk, we sat on a fallen tree and watched the horizon turn magenta and turn the mountains pink. We got hot chocolate and boba and sat outside the cafe drinking and bullying musicians we don't like. We kissed in the car, not a make out session, a simple kiss. And then we went home and I played with our new kittens for the rest of the night. Home where we spend most our weekends visiting family or hanging around the house with our quiet hobbies. And where excitement is a trip to the mall or the pool or farmers market. And if we're super exciting we may go look at an adult store and realize we can only afford the cheap toys near the front.

My boyfriend is no bad boy heartbreaker. And I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I don't drink, I don't wear revealing outfits in public (but I sometimes dress alt). I don't enjoy feeling out of control or being stared at. Everyone always says at my age I should be wild and free. I'm supposed to be partying and sleeping around and doing stupid shit. The thought of all that stresses me out. Clubs sound like hell. I've tried flirting with guys as a teen and felt used. For every time I worry I won't have stories when I'm older I have a simple gentle date night and feel so connected to myself and safe.

I'm a fierce advocate for women having the freedom to do what they want. I'm definitely leftist in my beliefs. In a way though I feel like a hypocrite for not "using that freedom to its fullest" I guess. I worry I'm still living under the influence of this religion and it's traditional values. I want to be normal. But ultimately I want to know what happens tomorrow. I want to know who I'm sleeping with at night. To know the mouth I kiss isn't just testing if it likes me enough to stay or if I'm a situationship. I want to rebel, but I love boring life and peace. Can I still be a rebel but live in a way the JWs would probably mostly still think is in line? Am I just weird?