u/Training_Speed2448

I already posted a while ago but wanted to repost and reword. I'm looking for public land that isn't very densely populated so I can find some animal bones and scrap wood for a Halloween costume

20f. I grew up in a very religious environment with a lot of shame around sex so maybe that's part of it. But I've been sexually active and never had something like this. I feel like I've felt way less shame than my other ex religious peers because of my autism in a way so this is a little strange. I've never even really thought about it

I gave my boyfriend a BJ, not prompted by him, I've done this before several times. I'll admit I feel insecure that I'm not very good at giving them, it usually takes him forever to actually cum from it no matter what I try so I usually just do it as a warm up. But this time he actually finished within a couple minutes. I should have been excited, I've been trying to get better at it, but I just felt this absolutely wave of distress and I can not figure out WHY.

I just got this feeling like I was pathetic and almost used in a way? Which is weird because he wasn't an asshole in any way, he never has been, he's not a situationship or anything we've been living together for a year, and he's reciprocal with sex. He thanked me and cuddled me after and rubbed my back (all I wanted because I'm on my period and don't want blood everywhere). So I can't understand why this time in particular I felt like that, why I had the wave of shame and distress, why I felt dirty. Almost spiteful

Has anyone else experienced something like this? Is it possible there's some deeper trauma going on? Period hormones messing with me? Autism thing? The only time I've felt similar was thinking back on my ""ex"" who actually was using me and pressured me into sending things I didn't want to when I was 17. Was this maybe a weird trigger? I don't know, but I don't like the feeling of being resentful at someone who didn't even do anything to Warrant it and I don't want it to ruin sex for me. I've felt it before sometimes. Just a weird surge of spite towards him and all men when I think of something an ex did or I just hear a similar story or feel vaguely similar and I want to distance. What can I do to prevent this?

Swore I would get some for my niece, they didn't have any at the hog and hen, maybe they're just out of stock? Anyway, is there anywhere I can find them here or should I just order them?

I'm disappointed and surprised at the amount of supposed feminists that in 2026 are still out here acting like it's ok for people with an obvious power imbalance to prey on vulnerable women because it's technically legal. Or on the other end of the spectrum call women in toxic and abusive relationship stupid for not "just leaving". The people that gossip and gawk at the mental breakdowns of women who've finally had enough and snapped. And that back up their braindead takes with saying it's infantalizing women to point out the fact that people can have trauma, can be vulnerable to abuse, can be manipulated, and can end up in bad situations. Regardless of technical legal ages and regardless of gender.

This is victim blaming. It may be direct- "well if she didn't want to be in a toxic relationship she could just leave! She's not a baby!" Or "Well maybe if she wasn't so crazy he wouldn't have cheated on her, poor guy" or "your abuse wasn't that bad"

Or it can be roundabout- "because she is an adult now, she is completely responsible for being in this relationship with a much older individual. Even if the older person has the life experience and learned skill to manipulate her. Pointing out the red flags is treating her like a baby, but she's not, so if she gets manipulated that's her fault because she should've known!"

I can already see people twisting this so I will make it very clear: does this mean we should start making laws and taking away women's rights? No. Does this mean women are helpless babies that can't leave abusive relationships? Absolutely not. Does this mean mental illness exempts women from harming other people? No. But is it infantalizing to say that all people including women deserve the grace and judgement free support to get away from their abusers? You can decide that.

What I am asking people to do is look at these situations with nuance and to think before lambasting your judgement at the victims of these situations, male or female, but I see more criticism towards women. Time and time again I see any and all criticism towards the women for not leaving or not seeing the red flags hidden by experienced abusers. Mental illness is her fault and she should be locked away and criticized. We leave them flailing with nowhere to go because everywhere else is just as cruel. And for the people who actually hurt these women? Nothing. They're just a factor in a situation this silly girl got herself into completely on her own, a puzzle she must solve because she started it.

Victims deserve better to be able to look at these discussions and not feel stupid for being abused. For loving. They should be able to see that it wasn't their fault. They deserve resources that break down that what trauma they've experienced already in life could be what's keeping them glued to these shitty people. And that they can address that, and they can work through it, and that they can get away. And that they deserve more than the same ridicule they've received by everyone else. They deserve genuine love and support, it's out there, and they can get there. Infants aren't the only ones who deserve grace and compassion, and if you believe empathy and understanding is Infantalization, then maybe you haven't received enough yourself.

I ask you be careful what judgements you cast of women in bad relationships. You don't know why they're there or what they're going through. Even the women who seem to be on top of the world get sucked into these situations. It's not weakness or a "them problem" or a fluke. The machines that used up and spit out our grandmothers and mothers were built and tuned up long ago and the machine is still running flawlessly. Because we intentionally or not oil it with our oh so subtle misogony.

I can't help but wonder what would've happened if maybe my 17 year old, homeschooled, estranged from family, confused self had seen compassion online instead of hatred for "needy and prudish" girls like her. Maybe she wouldn't have tolerated table scrap love for so long from a man who wouldn't say her name but would take the most intimate parts of her. Maybe the tough love isn't letting people destroy themselves and adding gas but instead it's reminding them everyone can be manipulated, man or woman, any age. And that abusers are always. ALWAYS at fault for abusing people no matter how stupid YOU think the victim is.

Every time I see a woman mention video games causing relationship problems for some reason people get really mad and defensive so let me preface: men can have hobbies! That's not what this is about for gods sake nobody is trying to take men's hobbies away. The point is there's no balance between alone time and time spent with their girlfriend. And yes women can play games too but I rarely if ever see the same issue come up from men and their girlfriend playing games.

The amount of times I've seen women talk about how their boyfriends and husbands game for hours and don't do any housework, don't help with the kids, don't help cook, don't talk to them, don't want to be interrupted, won't go to bed with them, is getting ridiculous and honestly I've experienced it myself. Men who would rather waste away hours on a game with their buddies than spend any time with the women who do everything for them. That they CHOSE to date. And they're the same types that would be crying and screaming about how they can't get a girlfriend and women are so stuck up these days if these women weren't there.

It's just the same old tale as men going out to bars and not coming home until 3, or drunk watching sports all day, or musicians being away on the road for months, or workaholic overtime, and I can't understand for the life of me why everyone is so afraid to talk about it. Why are we so lenient about men's interests in particular. Why do we give these men so much grace when they never give us the same grace when we want to do any of our hobbies. Why do they give us so much shit and call us lazy for just wanting to rest after a long day but we're expected to let them ignore us for HOURS because THEY need to decompress?

These men don't even like their girlfriends or want to spend time with them but as soon as we get tired of waiting around hand and foot for them and go on a girl's trip they accuse us of cheating. As soon as we treat ourselves or go shopping or whatever the fuck it's not as important and it's a waste of time and money suddenly. I'm so sick of this, I'm sick of seeing it happen to women over and over and everyone scrambles to coddle the poor baby men

The comments call us women codependent and attention seeking. Unstable attachment, needy, narcissistic. For wanting to be treated like we actually matter sometimes. Because we would like to receive half of the amount of attention they give to their damn keyboard, or tv, or bar, or bros. Both women and men downplay the neglect unless it's really severe or more importantly impacting the father's children because who gives a shit about the wife's needs ever right? Imagine if a mother was ignoring her husband and kids for hours to watch TV or read a book and lord imagine the fire storm! Point is, It's fucking normal to want the people who love you to pay attention to you. Men won't die if they have to balance their hobbies. And I'm irritated.

Edit: from now on I will be ignoring any "not all gamers!" Comments. Read the first paragraph again.

My thyroid is fine got it tested just a month ago. My period has never been regular and every time I bring it up I'm just told to wait and it'll regulate eventually. It's so frustrating. Nobody I know has dealt with this. I hate that I'm not taken seriously by doctors. It was fine when I wasn't sexually active but now that I am it's really stressful. I have a copper IUD so I know it's very unlikely I'm pregnant but it puts a damper on sex anyway. I don't know what to do really besides keep taking pregnancy tests every month. And when I was on the pill it just made me spot through the entire month. Ugh. Just venting my frustration. I hate this stupid uterus

Trying to find full time work and struggling with online applications not getting a response/not having the types of jobs I'm interested in. I'm already employed, but the environment is very toxic and I can't keep putting up with it after several years. I don't want to go from one bad job to another. Where can I find jobs outside of online listings so I have more opportunities?

My boss gleefully brags about how my elderly coworker is on much better behavior after he sent him home without pay for 2 weeks straight a couple years ago. Apparently he has short term memory loss because he thought I wouldn't notice he did the same thing to me Friday(or maybe he wants me to know I'm not special). My boss is the typical narcissist really: delusions of grandure, refuses to take criticism and micromanages/bullies everyone else. Gaslighting. An explosive temper that leads to him screaming and throwing things. Brags about how he understands everyone and can manipulate them psychologically. He also treats me like his personal therapist. This is a small business completely managed by him, no HR, nobody to run to when he flips out.

Well after his 7th tangent of the day Friday dogging on my poor coworker I told him I didn't want to hear him complaining anymore. Of course that sets him off and he starts telling me I'm not being a team player and I'm getting an "attitude" now that I'm an adult (you know because women are just emotional and we never have valid feelings or criticisms). That he compliments me all the time and I can't take aaaany criticism even though I only get upset with the criticism when he brings it up over and over for months after the tiniest mistakes. Well at the end of the day he sends me home, tells me not to come in Monday and to "think about if I want to work here because I don't argue with employees. we're going to have to have a little talk when you come in Tuesday".

You'll never guess what happened yesterday: the same thing as always, he just pretends like nothing happened. I know he just expects me to fall back into my role like I and other employees always have. To keep tolerating it. And now suddenly he sure is being a lot nicer. Not bitching about everything and oh he's taking us to lunch today (but he'll complain if we don't order off the cheap menu). How nice, he sure is doing that more now that we being our own lunch instead of eating the provided lunch he's used as leverage. And he's bringing up all the big projects he's going to need us for. And bringing up how much he's old and hurtin.

Maybe he had a moment of clarity that if he loses the employee that does 90% of the projects he's going to screw himself over. That's why he can't lay me off for several days near as easily. Well it's not going to work on me this time. I've seen it before. I've learned over 6 years the good behavior doesn't last. I still remember him bringing me the candy dish after arguments. Or threatening me with discussions to get me panicking and pretending nothing happened. Bringing up all the nice things he's done and using all his compliments as leverag. Bragging us up in front of customers (unless he decides he wants to humiliate us that day instead). I'm mostly venting, but I wonder who else's boss does similar.

Also yes I am seeking new employment, I've even submitted a few applications! This is very difficult for me since I've been working there since I was a young teen and I still feel a lot of guilt and attachment but I am making an effort to leave

I've been at a small business for several years, started as a teen, so no HR. Nobody to keep the boss in check and unfortunately he's a volatile tyrant. I'm at the point I no longer want to work there. One of my boss's best ways to keep his employees in check is to send us (employees who only make minimum and live paycheck to paycheck) home for days without pay every time we argue or stand out ground or call out his yelling and complaining.

This happened to me yesterday. He was going on his 7th (yes I counted) tangent of the day by noon. Really ragging on my coworker for a very mild mistake which he does to us every time we slip up in any way for weeks after, sometimes he won't let this shit go for years. I finally told him I don't want to hear him complain anymore.

He immediately blows up into this argument about how I'm "not being a team player and I compliment you all the time and you can't take any criticism. You're getting an attitude now that you're an adult. We're gonna have to have a little talk before you go". As if his 3 compliments make up for the constant micromanaging and criticism of everything we do all the time.

Well sure enough he sends me home and gives me Monday off to "think about if I want to work here because I won't argue with employees". After I've been there 6 fucking years because I felt bad for the old saggy bastard and didn't want to leave him with a massive work load. Well I don't want to work there. I haven't for years. And it's finally time that I look for a new job

The issue is that I don't know how to go about this. As much as I want to stick it to him Tuesday I need to eat and pay rent. He knows my family and landlord (who know he's a bastard but still he could start shit). And he's really fucking petty. Like almost didn't give a customer his product and was going to take him to court because the guy asked why it was taking so long and if he could ask a different business to do it. He cut off his ex girlfriend of 15 years after her son in law died because she sold something the son had that was technically my boss's from years ago.

I can't risk being left without work in the time between finding a new job. So how can I do this without absolutely burning bridges if there is a way? What do I say Tuesday? I try to be an honest person and I would like to give him time to find a new employee (and maybe he won't start as much shit) if he knows I'm job searching but at the same time I could risk housing for myself And my boyfriend and pets. Do I just keep up the charade that I love working there until I can leave? Then he's going to start shit because I lied about wanting to keep working Tuesday. I don't know what to do but I'm in hell and my mental health is god awful working there. I would love some support and advice here

Tldr: Want to leave my work, boss wants to talk to me about if I want to work there. But can't afford to be homeless if he fires me on the spot if I'm honest about my job searching. Help

I've been miserable at my job for a while but I think it's time to quit. My boss is an asshole and I get no benefits, I barely make above minimum. It's my first Job too but I think it's time I finally quit and start trying to find a better one. Things aren't going to get better at my job. I just need some encouragement and someone to ease my fears that I won't be able to find a new job etc. thank you

I have a rule to always be sceptical when people glorify the past and I want to apply the same rule here to online dating. Men have bitched and cried about how much women on dating apps do them dirty but I also hear women talk about how men on dating apps suck so much and look at the old meet in person days with rose tinted glasses. I'm 20 so online dating hasn't really ever been uncommon or taboo in the time I've been dating.

Now I've actually met two of the people I've dated in person, one in freshman year (She did stupid bullshit 14 year olds do, I won't hold it to her too hard since I havent talked to her since then and don't know how she is now). And my boyfriend now at 20 I asked out after catching his eye at his old job a few times. I'm still dating him and he's a good guy, better than the people I've dated online by a long shot. I have that reason to feel some bias towards meeting people IRL but I recognize I also could've just got very lucky.

But I also dabbled in online dating and dating apps for a while in my teens. I generally had a pretty shit experience with those the same as anyone else. Lots of men bombarding the few women on these sites including me, a lot of them weird or just not replying, a lot of them old creeps chatting up an 18 year old. The man I dated online for nearly a year only said my name once and only used me for sex.

So I want to hear the experiences with other women, dating online or in person and whether you think there's any truth to the idea it's better to meet in person. Do you think dating apps just have an overabundance of mennd it's more overwhelming when all of them can message at once and that's why it seems worse? From the horror stories we hear from our moms and grandmas I can only imagine it's not sunshine and rainbows in person either

I'm a bi woman. I saw an ask on reddit the other day that was like "women of reddit would you date a bi man?" Or something. Figured it was just random asking a weird question. Turns out no this is somewhat of a trend asking women if they would date men who have dated men before. It was sad that a few women said they would never even consider it. Someone (a man) tried to argue with me it was cause of women's fear of stds that "bi men are more likely to have statistically" (as if straight men can't have stds and bi men can't get tested or use protection). Then got really defensive about not judging "preferences" when I pointed out that it was very clearly biphobia and tried to argue it somehow wasn't homophobic because it's not an "unreasonable fear". I'll also acknowledge there's some lesbians that won't date bi women for their own reasons (usually a fear of cheating) and this is also worth calling out.

I think most people will know how damn stupid this is but let me break it down for anyone about to try to argue this: You do not HAVE to date anyone you don't want to, in fact you shouldn't if you can't treat bi or queer people like humans. BUT. It is definitive biphobia to not date someone solely due to their sexuality, it doesn't matter what reason you think you have. Bi people aren't all cheaters, we don't have some unique plague. We're humans with the same capabilities as every straight and gay person to manage ourselves. Treating as as "others" is biphobia, but it doesn't mean you'll be forced to date us.

This isn't the only time I've seen this though. I've seen a lot of weird asks lately of if women would date men who do traditionally feminine things like wearing makeup or nails. To a crowd of women I've been surprised and disappointed to see often use this to be subtly homophobic to men who do this. Of course we also have the fact politicians are trying so hard to make it seem like women are in grave danger of trans women and drag queens peeing in the same space. Acting as though they would go to such great lengths when we already know cishet men just harass us in public anyway.

I'm just frustrated and really hope I see more women rejecting this stupid bullshit and realize it's just a way to levy one marginalized group to hurt another. Treat bi people like humans that can make the same choices and cure the same diseases anyone else can. Look inward on why you view bi people differently whether or not you change your mind. We all have a bias somewhere, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't acknowledge it and work on it.