u/Training_Speed2448

My thyroid is fine got it tested just a month ago. My period has never been regular and every time I bring it up I'm just told to wait and it'll regulate eventually. It's so frustrating. Nobody I know has dealt with this. I hate that I'm not taken seriously by doctors. It was fine when I wasn't sexually active but now that I am it's really stressful. I have a copper IUD so I know it's very unlikely I'm pregnant but it puts a damper on sex anyway. I don't know what to do really besides keep taking pregnancy tests every month. And when I was on the pill it just made me spot through the entire month. Ugh. Just venting my frustration. I hate this stupid uterus

Trying to find full time work and struggling with online applications not getting a response/not having the types of jobs I'm interested in. I'm already employed, but the environment is very toxic and I can't keep putting up with it after several years. I don't want to go from one bad job to another. Where can I find jobs outside of online listings so I have more opportunities?

My boss gleefully brags about how my elderly coworker is on much better behavior after he sent him home without pay for 2 weeks straight a couple years ago. Apparently he has short term memory loss because he thought I wouldn't notice he did the same thing to me Friday(or maybe he wants me to know I'm not special). My boss is the typical narcissist really: delusions of grandure, refuses to take criticism and micromanages/bullies everyone else. Gaslighting. An explosive temper that leads to him screaming and throwing things. Brags about how he understands everyone and can manipulate them psychologically. He also treats me like his personal therapist. This is a small business completely managed by him, no HR, nobody to run to when he flips out.

Well after his 7th tangent of the day Friday dogging on my poor coworker I told him I didn't want to hear him complaining anymore. Of course that sets him off and he starts telling me I'm not being a team player and I'm getting an "attitude" now that I'm an adult (you know because women are just emotional and we never have valid feelings or criticisms). That he compliments me all the time and I can't take aaaany criticism even though I only get upset with the criticism when he brings it up over and over for months after the tiniest mistakes. Well at the end of the day he sends me home, tells me not to come in Monday and to "think about if I want to work here because I don't argue with employees. we're going to have to have a little talk when you come in Tuesday".

You'll never guess what happened yesterday: the same thing as always, he just pretends like nothing happened. I know he just expects me to fall back into my role like I and other employees always have. To keep tolerating it. And now suddenly he sure is being a lot nicer. Not bitching about everything and oh he's taking us to lunch today (but he'll complain if we don't order off the cheap menu). How nice, he sure is doing that more now that we being our own lunch instead of eating the provided lunch he's used as leverage. And he's bringing up all the big projects he's going to need us for. And bringing up how much he's old and hurtin.

Maybe he had a moment of clarity that if he loses the employee that does 90% of the projects he's going to screw himself over. That's why he can't lay me off for several days near as easily. Well it's not going to work on me this time. I've seen it before. I've learned over 6 years the good behavior doesn't last. I still remember him bringing me the candy dish after arguments. Or threatening me with discussions to get me panicking and pretending nothing happened. Bringing up all the nice things he's done and using all his compliments as leverag. Bragging us up in front of customers (unless he decides he wants to humiliate us that day instead). I'm mostly venting, but I wonder who else's boss does similar.

Also yes I am seeking new employment, I've even submitted a few applications! This is very difficult for me since I've been working there since I was a young teen and I still feel a lot of guilt and attachment but I am making an effort to leave

I've been at a small business for several years, started as a teen, so no HR. Nobody to keep the boss in check and unfortunately he's a volatile tyrant. I'm at the point I no longer want to work there. One of my boss's best ways to keep his employees in check is to send us (employees who only make minimum and live paycheck to paycheck) home for days without pay every time we argue or stand out ground or call out his yelling and complaining.

This happened to me yesterday. He was going on his 7th (yes I counted) tangent of the day by noon. Really ragging on my coworker for a very mild mistake which he does to us every time we slip up in any way for weeks after, sometimes he won't let this shit go for years. I finally told him I don't want to hear him complain anymore.

He immediately blows up into this argument about how I'm "not being a team player and I compliment you all the time and you can't take any criticism. You're getting an attitude now that you're an adult. We're gonna have to have a little talk before you go". As if his 3 compliments make up for the constant micromanaging and criticism of everything we do all the time.

Well sure enough he sends me home and gives me Monday off to "think about if I want to work here because I won't argue with employees". After I've been there 6 fucking years because I felt bad for the old saggy bastard and didn't want to leave him with a massive work load. Well I don't want to work there. I haven't for years. And it's finally time that I look for a new job

The issue is that I don't know how to go about this. As much as I want to stick it to him Tuesday I need to eat and pay rent. He knows my family and landlord (who know he's a bastard but still he could start shit). And he's really fucking petty. Like almost didn't give a customer his product and was going to take him to court because the guy asked why it was taking so long and if he could ask a different business to do it. He cut off his ex girlfriend of 15 years after her son in law died because she sold something the son had that was technically my boss's from years ago.

I can't risk being left without work in the time between finding a new job. So how can I do this without absolutely burning bridges if there is a way? What do I say Tuesday? I try to be an honest person and I would like to give him time to find a new employee (and maybe he won't start as much shit) if he knows I'm job searching but at the same time I could risk housing for myself And my boyfriend and pets. Do I just keep up the charade that I love working there until I can leave? Then he's going to start shit because I lied about wanting to keep working Tuesday. I don't know what to do but I'm in hell and my mental health is god awful working there. I would love some support and advice here

Tldr: Want to leave my work, boss wants to talk to me about if I want to work there. But can't afford to be homeless if he fires me on the spot if I'm honest about my job searching. Help

I've been miserable at my job for a while but I think it's time to quit. My boss is an asshole and I get no benefits, I barely make above minimum. It's my first Job too but I think it's time I finally quit and start trying to find a better one. Things aren't going to get better at my job. I just need some encouragement and someone to ease my fears that I won't be able to find a new job etc. thank you

I have a rule to always be sceptical when people glorify the past and I want to apply the same rule here to online dating. Men have bitched and cried about how much women on dating apps do them dirty but I also hear women talk about how men on dating apps suck so much and look at the old meet in person days with rose tinted glasses. I'm 20 so online dating hasn't really ever been uncommon or taboo in the time I've been dating.

Now I've actually met two of the people I've dated in person, one in freshman year (She did stupid bullshit 14 year olds do, I won't hold it to her too hard since I havent talked to her since then and don't know how she is now). And my boyfriend now at 20 I asked out after catching his eye at his old job a few times. I'm still dating him and he's a good guy, better than the people I've dated online by a long shot. I have that reason to feel some bias towards meeting people IRL but I recognize I also could've just got very lucky.

But I also dabbled in online dating and dating apps for a while in my teens. I generally had a pretty shit experience with those the same as anyone else. Lots of men bombarding the few women on these sites including me, a lot of them weird or just not replying, a lot of them old creeps chatting up an 18 year old. The man I dated online for nearly a year only said my name once and only used me for sex.

So I want to hear the experiences with other women, dating online or in person and whether you think there's any truth to the idea it's better to meet in person. Do you think dating apps just have an overabundance of mennd it's more overwhelming when all of them can message at once and that's why it seems worse? From the horror stories we hear from our moms and grandmas I can only imagine it's not sunshine and rainbows in person either

I'm a bi woman. I saw an ask on reddit the other day that was like "women of reddit would you date a bi man?" Or something. Figured it was just random asking a weird question. Turns out no this is somewhat of a trend asking women if they would date men who have dated men before. It was sad that a few women said they would never even consider it. Someone (a man) tried to argue with me it was cause of women's fear of stds that "bi men are more likely to have statistically" (as if straight men can't have stds and bi men can't get tested or use protection). Then got really defensive about not judging "preferences" when I pointed out that it was very clearly biphobia and tried to argue it somehow wasn't homophobic because it's not an "unreasonable fear". I'll also acknowledge there's some lesbians that won't date bi women for their own reasons (usually a fear of cheating) and this is also worth calling out.

I think most people will know how damn stupid this is but let me break it down for anyone about to try to argue this: You do not HAVE to date anyone you don't want to, in fact you shouldn't if you can't treat bi or queer people like humans. BUT. It is definitive biphobia to not date someone solely due to their sexuality, it doesn't matter what reason you think you have. Bi people aren't all cheaters, we don't have some unique plague. We're humans with the same capabilities as every straight and gay person to manage ourselves. Treating as as "others" is biphobia, but it doesn't mean you'll be forced to date us.

This isn't the only time I've seen this though. I've seen a lot of weird asks lately of if women would date men who do traditionally feminine things like wearing makeup or nails. To a crowd of women I've been surprised and disappointed to see often use this to be subtly homophobic to men who do this. Of course we also have the fact politicians are trying so hard to make it seem like women are in grave danger of trans women and drag queens peeing in the same space. Acting as though they would go to such great lengths when we already know cishet men just harass us in public anyway.

I'm just frustrated and really hope I see more women rejecting this stupid bullshit and realize it's just a way to levy one marginalized group to hurt another. Treat bi people like humans that can make the same choices and cure the same diseases anyone else can. Look inward on why you view bi people differently whether or not you change your mind. We all have a bias somewhere, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't acknowledge it and work on it.

I always hear people talk shit on (genuine) romantic gestures and it makes me feel like maybe there's something wrong with me that I actually enjoy it. And then I remembered oh wait I'm a woman, wanting literally ANYTHING will be talked shit upon. I can not even even begin to recount all the times I've seen a girl get absolutely dogged on by men and other women for expressing a desire to be treated well or wanting to be given unique treatment.

"Your standards are too high" "good luck finding that" "don't be a diva" why do people do this only when women are wanting nice treatment specifically from men? Not even asking for anything at the expense of other people, just wanting the simple shit and more importantly the shit women already do for men all the damn time. Wanting someone to cook you a dinner or buy you some god damn flowers is not a selfish ask. Wanting someone to dote on you and tell you you're beautiful is somehow seen as vain from women when men asking the same thing are declared so funny or charming. Wanting full attention from the person you love is fucking normal. These things should be basic and expected. Why are women considered selfish for wanting the bare minimum?

And then there's everything else we're expected to do, or at lease what I was conditioned to do. Move out of the way for a man on the street, wait patiently for other people in the store to move. Always smile, always be polite, always make sure everyone else is taken care of before you. Lie if you aren't having a good time with something, always do what the other person wants you to do and without complaint. Wait for the promotion but don't pester for it. Make sure the house is taken care of and then maybe you can relax. All of which men RARELY do and guess what? If a woman isn't doing these she's labelled as once again rude and acting like a queen.

Ever heard of bridezilla for a woman that is usually stressing about making sure her ultimate life performance that WILL influence how her whole family treats her goes well? The day that is supposed to be her special day but still she can't relax on? How many times have you heard groomzilla? I never have. This is what I mean. There's moments a woman can be selfish or rude of course but so often I just see humans wanting to be treated like equal humans and being scoffed at for it. I fucking hate it, women should be asking for more. Women deserve to be treated like the main character in their own life sometimes

(Wrong flair repost) I've always had pets as a kid. I find even as I'm an adult now I just like being around animals more than people. I relate to animals in a way as far as feeling like I'm just piloting around on instinct. But really they're just so much easier to navigate and get along with than other people. I love that my cats and dogs follow me around the house and want to be in the same room. I don't have to do anything for them to want to be around me. I just feed them and give them the basics they need, no overly complicated communication, I don't need to beg them for their attention, I don't need to fear they don't want to be around me. They just are, they just like me unconditionally and that's really nice.

I don't need to constantly navigate their emotional needs and make sure I choose the right words perfectly, or meet their expectation. There's no weird societal pressure that makes me be polite and mask so they don't bully me behind my back. I don't need to pursue them and force myself to interact with them when I'm socially burnt just so they don't leave and forget about me. They're just there. Excited to see me. Happy to sit near me in silence or let me hold them when I cry. Even if they irritate me sometimes with barking or messing with loud items I know they're not doing it to make me upset. They don't understand, they can't understand, and I guess I like that. Humans know I'm upset and they could choose to change but they don't. They don't listen, they don't have patience, they treat me as lesser. But to animals I mean something.

I just wish people could love me for me too without me having to exhaust myself

Title says it all recommendede some good songs I prefer indie but anything is fine, I need more music that fits my feelings

Looking for some fairly downer type songs, not super picky about the topic but just songs that aren't upbeat. I don't really know how to describe what I'm looking for. I'm also not picky about the genre, I listen to a lot of rock folk stuff I guess. I don't mind more mainstream stuff either but I like discovering new music

My playlist is mostly Jackson browne, AJJ, Lincoln (constant state of ohio), the Crane Wives, , Brigitte Calls Me Baby, will wood, a few other random indie artists here and there. Hopefully that's somewhat of a reference to what I want

I was always the lest important person around growing up. I was the good kid so I didn't need the extra support and attention from parents or teachers. Never notable in school or anything. My brother was close to me but forgot about me as soon as he got a girlfriend. The only real friends I was allowed to have, the girls in Church, bullied me and nobody believed it. And among my school friends I was still just second choice, second best, I still am to my friends and I don't really make the effort to be important to them. Doesn't feel like it matters.

Recently my sister started dating and I just feel that same aching in my chest and brain that I'm going to be forgotten again. She's been relying on me for car rides but yesterday she said her boyfriend would be taking her and just, damn. I realized I'm not needed now, again, by another person. I don't know what I expected. I run myself into the ground trying to be there for people, trying to be perfect so they have no reason to leave me. But they do. And I don't understand why, and that scares me. I wish I knew why people do what they do so I can navigate it but I just don't understand

I love my boyfriend, I love him a lot, he feels like part of me. He understands me and cares for me in ways I've never felt. And I feel guilty and selfish that I'm with him. Every time he has a bad day, reminisces on his home state, every time we have an argument no matter how mild, I feel guilty that I asked him out and that he stayed with me and that I'm failing him. I sit there and worry that he's going to find someone better someday and leave. That he'll wake up and feel like I've tricked him. I think of him with another better girl whenever something's going wrong and it doesn't make me jealous. It makes me feel guilt. Like I'm holding him back from a better person. I want to stop feeling like this every time people are nice to me

I'm 20f in the USA, so not getting married anytime soon but started thinking about it. I just don't know if it's something I really want to do. I of course was told constantly that marriage was my only goal and purpose in life as a woman but I just don't know how to feel about it. Weddings sound like a stressful performance and nobody ever taught me the actual legal part of marriage. I feel really confused and lost here, I feel like I never was actually told the logistics of anything, just what I'm supposed to do to support the org and all that shit with no regard to how it will affect me.

I guess I just want some guidance and perspective and all that. I do live with my boyfriend, I don't want to be with anyone else, but marriage feels so patriarchal and kind of like a trap to me. I also don't want kids, ever, I have a job and a separate income from him, I really don't want to share my finances with anyone, in general I just don't like the idea of being tied legally to someone like that. And I wouldn't be added to his work health insurance regardless so what's even the point. I want to know how other people who've left the religion ended up feeling about marriage and if it's something you would suggest. I know I can elope and all that to skip the wedding. I don't know