It's been a week and a half since I placed an order for two PopMart items.

I've managed to figure out how to track them and they are taking forever to get here. They must be on a ship in the middle of the ocean which is kinda cool (regarded it's not the strait of Hormuz) but why is the process still this inefficient?

I'm in Aus. There are PopMart stores in other states. You'd think there would be stock in Australia they could ship out instead of bringing shit all the way from China one piece at a time.

It's a champagne problem for sure but I need my items to numb the pain of other stuff going on.

There's too much news to cover and I've been triggered by some of the topics that have suddenly come up.

I was sexually assaulted a year ago.

I'm a political journalist and the issue of sexual violence has come up today, as well as religious discrimination in schools. That topic is close to home to me because I am queer.

Other journalists treat this job like it's a big game. They think provoking a conservative member of parliament to say more conservative things is sport and they are pressuring them to front cameras.

I know I should be better at compartmentalising but half the people I interview say my empathy is my biggest strength.

It's hard to know what to do right now. I'm the only non-male in the office this week due to staff shortages. No one in the office knows about my assault and I don't want to tell them I don't want to cover the story.

The tragedy is only one thing goes wrong.

Lately nearly every day someone publicly asks if I'm okay.

I work in media so am often around politicians and community leaders. They are well meaning people but we have strictly professional relationships so I don't really know what I'm supposed to say.

I just say "yeah, just a bit tired today," or "thanks for your concern, I'm seeking some support".

It sucks. It's humiliating but I know they're just being nice.

I just love the way cis men STILL only talk to male colleagues about sport.

I'm non-binary but was assigned female at birth. I have a picture of Sam Kerr up at my desk and I collect AFL cards that I have traded before in the office.

Also, we're a TV news station and because I was the only one to wear World Cup merch to work my male colleague borrowed it to wear in a piece-to-camera.

What more can I do to help them see me as equal and get my name abbreviated to end in "os"?

I watched tiktok mukbangs on mute for half the day yesterday. There is a video of everything I could possibly think of.

I find it kind of funny how wearing at least one black glove seems to be what you need to do to be considered legit in the niche.

And you have to turn the product towards the camera after a bite, while staring right down the barrel.

It's very peculiar and yet I've been completely sucked in.

I thought I had a grip on this. Sometimes, I didn’t think I even had a problem. I thought I was a superior person because I was so good at self control. I thought OMAD is smart.

Before I knew it I was completely out of control. Now, I struggle to eat more than cereal, even if I repeat a million times “just eat some more” out loud.

It’s punishing.

Today I saw my psychiatrist and psychologist for the first time in six weeks and they’re referring me to ED various services.

I had cancer as a teenager so I desperately don’t want to go to hospital but I might have to go to more appointments.

My workplace is critically understaffed so I’m under so much pressure.

I am constantly arguing with myself about what to do. Its horrible.

I’m anxious, scared and today my knees and feet are swollen. It’s strange.

I had cancer when I was 14 years old. There were times where I'm sure nurses brought people suffering from EDs into my area to be weighed because they thought the sight of us would scare them out of their issues.

I'm 33 years old now and I'm on the other side of the curtain. I am struggling heavily with restricting.

I started reading a book last night about AN and it repeated over and over how AN is basically something you get stuck with for life.

So it's like my cancer. It can come back at any minute and try to kill me.

I hate that this is happening. I feel just as hopeless and out of control as I did as a cancer patient but friends and family don't seem to get it. They don't understand why I'm making myself sick when I know full well what it's like to nearly die. But I swear I don't want this.

I feel like he was predatory but he used self deprecation as his cover.

Tony was like a Clavicular type and he sucked his friends in to looking like jerks.

I have NEVER been the type of person to hear voices but one year into restricting I've noticed that's changing.

I thought for sure I could hear music playing when there wasn't any last night.

I'm also struggling to speak sometimes. Like my jaw doesn't work the same and I can't find the right words.

Anyone else experience this?

I'm literally pulling myself up stairs using the rail because I feel so weak.

I can't think about anything except food and when I look at food it makes me feel slightly ill.

I swear the weight of my coat is wearing me out today. I've never felt like clothes are heavy.

WTF is wrong with me? I feel so ashamed. I just need to eat but I simply can't do it.

It's so weird but in the last few weeks I've noticed a change.

I used to watch a lot of mukbangs to satiate my hunger.

Now when I look at someone eating a burger I just think "ew, what the fuck is that slop you're willing to put into your body?"

Has anyone else experienced this?

I feel like I'm losing my appetite too. I'm still thinking about food a lot but I'm not as hungry.

So I LOVE being alone and away from my former housemates. The funny thing is now I face a completely opposite situation.

I've moved into a unit complex with a few units around me. They seem to all be occupied by single males and none of us talk. I haven't seen their faces, just their silhouettes walking by my window.

It's comforting to know there's people nearby but also a bit disconcerting now knowing them at all.

Should I do something to break the ice or just avoid them? If it turns out one of them wants to make friends and is constantly knocking on my front door to hang out that'll be annoying.

33y/o female here.

I spent my first weekend living alone and I did something bad.

I ordered some salt and pepper tofu and coconut rice for dinner.

I scoffed it like I was a making a mukbang then I brought it all back up and didn't eat anything yesterday.

I've been struggling with restricting for a year now and I hoped once fear of judgement went away I would be able to eat.

But instead now I have the freedom to b/p and I've been trying SO hard not to do that.

I even have a dentist appointment today and last time I saw her she said I had damaged teeth from when I was sick with cancer in the past.

I'm scared to see her. She's going to be so mad and I'm already so mad at myself.

I thought my eating issues were just eating "issues" and were situational. I think it might be a bit more than that... how foolish of me.

I could not be more excited.

I don't have to talk to anyone all weekend and there will be no housemates to call me antisocial.

It's been ten years since I've have had this level of comfort and freedom.

I feel like this community will understand why this is so significant.

In a WILD turn of events my (now fmr) housemate has said sorry for "getting hot headed" and "kicking you whilst your down".

The apology came in the form of a text message she sent to me today. It's been two days since I moved out because she told me I was "a lazy bong head", "a lost cause", "antisocial" and she didn't want to be friends with me or live together any more.

She also mocked me and said "go on, off with you! and good riddance!" like we were in a frikken soap opera.

Given we had been friends for around eight years this really upset me but I stayed calm and moved out as soon as I could.

It wasn't the first time she had a go at me. She had called me lazy a couple times and I had been trying my best to meet her expectations. Every conversation we had would end with me being berated to the point where I was shaking. I never retaliated because I just wanted those moments to be over.

I really appreciate that she has apologised as I know I'll probably see her at an event with mutual friends at some stage.

But I also don't want to accept it. I'll say I am but deep down I'm not.

She's half apologised for her behaviour before and I don't trust it will never happen again.

I believe she will find a new target and I feel sorry for whoever that is.

Would you accept the apology?

Last night was my first in my new unit that I have to myself.

It suddenly became very clear how much I was struggling in my other place.

In my former house with two housemates:

-I was constantly anxious about an impromptu party being thrown in the middle of the night

-I was constantly anxious someone would be staying over and sleeping in the common areas without me be asked

-I was constantly anxious a housemate might attack my personal character when I tried to set a boundary, or simply asked "hey what time do you think band practice will wrap up?" (apparently that's "anti-social" behaviour)

-I was constantly anxious a housemate would demand a chore be done when I wasn't physically able to do it (working) and would then confront me as soon as I got home (she called me lazy, would lecture me like I was child)

-I was constantly anxious while inside the house so started hanging out in the spare toilet/backyard shed. At one point I decorated it to soothe myself and then I got told off for being reclusive and creating clutter

-I was constantly anxious I wouldn't be able to do daily things like have a shower and brush my teeth because the bathroom would be in use for indefinite periods at unpredictable times

-I was constantly hungry because when I ate what I would be judged. How I ate would also sometimes be judged

-I was constantly told I had an ED because I stopped eating to avoid being judged, then got judged for that instead

-I was constantly guilty because even though my housemates knew I smoked weed before I moved in a few months ago their position on the matter changed

-I was constantly doubting my sanity because I let my housemate convince me I was a "lost cause" and "out of touch with reality"

Since venting to this subreddit I've slowly built up the confidence to say "enough's enough". Sure, in the end my housemate told me she wanted me to leave but I could have ignored her. She didn't actually have control over my life, she just manipulated me to believe she did.

So thank you to everyone who has told me to be an adult and not let someone continue push me around. It made a huge difference.

CW: SA, ED

I was told today my colleague's position in our newsroom isn't going to be filled following her departure.

That means the statewide workforce has dropped from six full time workers and two casuals to four full time workers and one casual within five years.

Our workloads have significantly increased and there's a lot of pressure on us to come into work when we are ill.

I spent my weekend moving shit into storage ahead of moving house and wouldn't be here if I didn't get pressured to be.

I didn't want to move house but because work has been so stressful my housemates think I'm super lazy and basically kicked me out. "Off with you and good riddance" was an actual phrase my housemate used.

I've also been slowly deteriorating from an ED over the past year and I don't think I've ever been this physically and mentally exhausted.

It's nearly one year to the day that I was violently sexually assaulted and everything turned to shit.

BUT I'm getting the keys to my own unit tomorrow so I must try and focus on that.

I'm writing this because I have no one to complain to and I'm too tired to have a conversation.

If you know your housemates are toxic and fake and you’re moving out but nice people express interest in ur room what do you do?