u/poisoned_bubbletea

So... no one likes chores. No one. But laundry? It's the worst one out there.

Dishes? You can do it in 10-20 minutes depending on how much there is, in one go and be done with it.

Cleaning? 15-60 minutes depending on the size of the space and how regularly it's cleaned, and again, one go and you're done.

Grocery shopping? All in one go. Go home, put it away in one go.

But laundry? It takes all freaking day. You separate it up with what needs washing, then put it in the machine. Then you have to wait for like an hour and a half to be able to do the next step which is either hanging it out on the line or putting it in the dryer. And you then still have to wait for it to be done. Meanwhile you then have to load the machine again with another load that takes another hour and a half and repeat the cycle. And because you always wear clothes, you have to keep doing it so frequently.

Shifting attention away from one task to another repeatedly makes it impossible for me to relax in between. I can't indulge in an activity while I'm waiting for only an hour and a half because it's simply not enough time for my brain to lock in enough to find relax or comfort in what I'm doing before I have to put it down and go back to laundry.

This is just a vent it annoys me so goddamn much. Hal don't even understand how many times I buy socks because washing them is too overwhelming. And what's worse is you have to wake up relatively early to have enough time to do it all and I don't want to wake up early between work days. I want time to sleep.

So I'm 25f lesbian. I'm currently undergoing some health investigations regarding the downstairs department. I need screenings, which involve penetration. One is planned in the doctors office, the other likely at the hospital.

So what I've come seeking is some advice because I'm panicking and can't figure out the answer on my own and could use some input.

I was offered, as everyone is, to have a nurse present when my gp does the scan. I had already mentioned about same sex partners as asking about sexual health was necessary to the conversation. She stated herself she was comfortable to do it without a nurse and the decision was down to me. I said I would be fine with it but now I'm questioning it and have been in an on-and-off anxious spiral over it.

The trauma comes from school mostly, and a little from my current workplace. After being outed to the school, I was forced via peer pressure and belittling to stop using the changing rooms. Even before I knew I was gay but knew something was different, when I was in the changing room I'd have my eyes on the floor until I got to a corner to face while I got changed. Because even when I didn't fully understand myself, I still wanted to respect those around me. But it quickly became accusations of perversion.

Now, I don't blame the girls I was at school with. At that age, (12-15), almost all of us unfortunately were victim to male perversion at some point. Middle school was a definite with the male teachers walking in and out mid-changing daily and yelled at any girl who said they were uncomfortable. We were always told these things happened because of how we dressed, or looked, or acted, or spoke. That we were enticing male attention through being too attractive. So to an underdeveloped mind of children, they don't know better, and they do believe its attraction rather than perverse men being perverse. So when they encountered a girl in their space who was also attracted to girls, they felt I would be the same as those men. So I don't blame them one bit. But it did leave me with this horrible feeling deep down after years of this that there was something dirty about me for my sexuality.

I face it at work sometimes. Female colleagues accusing me of being attracted to them and spying on them (I literally only used the changing room once with the only other queer person in the store at the time, who was fine with it.) (they're also old ladies. Like sorry but no thanks.)

And after one of the teachers in middle school who was openly lesbian was done for grooming the girls, it just felt finalised to me. I was dirty for being who I am.

Now, I know deep down I never did anything to anyone. When I did have a partner I repeatedly got consent before doing anything and if she ever told me she didn't want to continue, I stopped immediately. I have never laid a hand on someone without asking them first. Not for a hug, or a handshake, or a tap on the shoulder. Nothing. I know I haven't done anything.

But that feeling stuck around.

And now I feel like... maybe I should ask for a nurse to be in there to prove safety to the doctor. Because it's her safety on my mind. I wouldn't do anything to threaten it. But maybe it would be better if she had someone else at her level to be there. But then I'm also thinking, am I always going to do this? It won't be the last medical exam I need, will I always need someone there to not panic and feel like a monster for having something done purely out of health concern? That part makes me feel like i should do it without a nurse and prove to myself I'm not doing anything wrong.

Either way... I'm struggling with this decision and I could really use some outside perspective to help me. It's my decision to make and no one can make it for me, but having some people's opinion on the situation would really help me become firm in the decision I end up making.

TYIA.

Any advice whatsoever is welcome.

So my sister is autistic. 30 years old. She's reasonable on support needs, like she would need someone to check in on her to make sure she's doing basic daily tasks once or twice a day, like not giving up on taking insulin or making sure to wash regularly, but would be able to handle things from there. She can cook good meals for herself, she can order in groceries since she doesn't enjoy going shopping, she has proven she can hold down a job for several years.

The problems are, that she is just everything bad about a person you could expect.

She has been barred from multiple dental and health practices for being aggressive. The aggression in question is a blend of threatening violence, misogyny and racism. She refuses to see male doctors and dentists, only petite women she can easily overpower. And when these women who I'm taller than most at 5'4, are being degraded and threatened by this 5'10 large-frame woman in a booming voice, it absolutely is terrifying for them. Worse still on the occasion she's made threats of a sexual abuse nature too.

She's been kicked out of most social groups for getting too close with the younger members and making inappropriate suggestions. And all the racism and homophobia and sexism and even transphobia that spews from her mouth which is surprising given that she's trans herself, and willing to attack her own community.

She can work, but absolutely refuses to. She expects everything given to her for free, including the house we grew up in when our mum either moves out or passes, even though she has stated that she's likely going to sell the house to move into a bungalow for easy of access as she approaches old age (she is mid 60s for context.) our mum won't kick her out even though she desperately needs to, since my sister's abuse comes out the hardest on her. Constant threats and degrading and inappropriate comments, topped off with constant threats of lawsuits because our mum got too tired to cook for her one day, (They share responsibility by cooking for the two of them on alternating nights.) or because she can't get dental help because of her own behaviour, or because she didn't get diagnosed younger, or because her room is mouldy because she never cleans it and Jerks one out on the walls.

Along with the inappropriate comments to minors, there are other signs she's a pred. Including having diapers in her room, only dressing like a 5 year old, having admitted to watching explicit material of childhood cartoon characters who are also kids... yeah it's not great.

Our mum isn't going to stop falling deeper into a pit of depression as long as my sister is around. I can't convince her to kick her out though. I'm only still at home because until recently I was her mother (my grandmother)'s primary carer since leaving school, she has passed on now, it's been a year, and I'm struggling to find a full time job to support myself into moving out. As soon as I find one, I'm out of here to give her one less problem.

My sister isn't dumb. She's not doing this because her autism is a level where she doesn't know better. She fully understands what she's doing and uses her autism to get out of reprimand. And so far, it's worked. This is the same woman who wanted to become prime minister by shooting anyone who disagreed with her taking power. She's just violent and horrific.

But my sister... does anyone have a similar person in their life? Is she completely a lost cause? Am I right for telling my mum to kick her out? If anyone knows anyone like this... any advice you have is grand.

Edit for clarity, she doesn't act like this because she's autistic. I mean, I do unfortunately know some autistic men who act the same as her. The type that have a lack of empathy and only understand control. But I bring it here because it's the way she gets out of everything. She's not a bad person because she's autistic. She's a bad person, and she's autistic. I hope that makes sense.

TYIA.

So for details: it's a ticketed seated show. It's very clear who the performers are because they're on stage, and everyone else is seated. I'm not planning anything extravagant that would block other people's view like a wig. Just makeup. Front row too. Appropriate or taking away from the artists?

Thanks in advance x

Like they lay out as furniture right? You can pick up everything else around it from dream islands and you just pick them up. But with the grubby items, it makes a sound like a pokeball. Am I missing some secret with them that makes them special? Do we think it's for a future thing?

I've had this since I was little and the first memory I have of being shouted at. I was in daycare, barely 3 years old, I only just started speaking after being mute for almost 3 years. (Autism, if anyone's wondering or if it helps). In that situation, I was hardly aware of the right way to say things. 3 year old autistic me having just started speaking didn't know that I was meant to ask in eloquence, so when I approached one of the staff and said "excuse me I need the toilet" I didn't expect to get hell let loose on me. I was shouted at, called extremely rude, told I was meant to wait for her conversation to finish to then say "excuse me miss, can you take me to the bathroom please?", before having her call the attention of the entire group to "remind" everyone how to ask properly since I didn't know how to. And there it was from the moment she raised her voice. My brain felt like it was burning. Like a static tingle that was red hot.

Any time I've been shouted at, or people raise their voice at me, or get angry at me, or confront me, or I realise I've said something in anger, or I'm confused and don't know how to handle a situation, it happens. My brain feels like it's being pricked with thousands of needles as hot as the sun.

I don't know why it happens. Whether it's an autism thing, a BPD thing, a trauma thing, and anxiety thing, idk. I just haven't met anyone else who experiences it.

Like... so I have to listen to your music and cannot in turn listen to my own things because I can only tolerate 2 sound sources at one time? I don't like your music. I don't need to hear it.

Update: they finally turned the music down and now my brother decides it's time to be shit at playing the guitar

Update 2: they just turned the music back on too

Please help me I am in hell it's too hot to close the window and I cannot continue like this all summer

Update 3: another neighbour decided to start having a music war of who can play it louder WHY AM I IN HELL

So I get that if your account has been banned, other accounts on your IP will be auto-banned. Which is why I can't make new accounts. But as you can see, I'm here. My account has faced two, maybe three "permanent" bans. But as you can see, I'm posting from the account that has faced those bans. And then there's the "permanent" subreddit bans that I can post in again. Does anyone have an explanation as to why this happens? Like did I luck out a system error or something?

"Well, a lot of autistic people find community online"

"Well, I know I only found friends on a discord server"

Is this is? Is this really fucking it? 25 years of learning social rules to a fucking T and I have to give it up to go hope to find "friends" out of some guys across the ocean who, based on all my other discord experiences as a teen, are 99% incels and 1% children? Is this seriously fucking it?

Are my chances of ever being able to go somewhere and connect with people for once and make friends to hang out with really so fucking impossible? After everything? Why the FUCK have I spent 25 years doing everything I can to be a nice person to know when all I get are those dirty side glances?! I won't regret showing kindness because everyone deserves that. Oh, but you know who doesn't deserve that? Fucking autistics apparently. Especially women who don't get the joy of a larger community to fit in nor a fucking SAFE one for us so we just get to live til we're 95 and die fucking alone right?! Is this all I get to be because I came out fucking autistic?!

Hi. So um... I live in a small, relatively conservative town in east England but I went to the local city nearby for my first ever pride. I was so excited. Until I joined the parade and was using my hat and sunglasses to hide my tears. Everyone else was there in groups and couples... people would just approach others and start talking, all the posts from the event had so much community in them. It was so heartwarming to see... but I felt heartbroken because I didn't know how to join in.

I tried starting a few conversations, mostly based in complimenting others, on their makeup, or their outfit, fursuits, anything. You know... because even if nothing else happens it's still spreading some positivity right?

Well unfortunately the autism curse came in strong and I mostly just got weird looks. The only conversation I had was with a volunteer for a few minutes. You know, someone who's there to guide and stuff, who's there working to make sure people are alright. And I appreciate them so much for that, but still. I couldn't make a single actual connection and I really just wanna be *part* of it, rather than just present.

The only folks I have in my life are my bestie who's always working (I absolutely love her to bits don't get me wrong) and the people I work with who I'll lose contact with in a week if they leave. It's just a bit disheartening really. I so wanted to get involved this time but I couldn't do it. I tried the same while going to a drag show in my town. Nothing. Bars. Nothing. Idk I just... if the common denominator of every issue is me that means I'm the problem but I just don't know what I'm doing wrong.

So I guess does anyone have advice? I can't really afford to travel out to London or nearby cities regularly enough to be a part of any clubs or groups there but my town really doesn't have anything and I couldn't connect with the other queer folk I've met in my town through school or work either. If anyone's struggled to find their own place in the community your voice would be really appreciated.

Thank you all and much love

Edit: for most of this search all I got was a downvote and it feels lowkey like being at pride again. Is this maybe one of those "inclusive for everyone except autistics" spaced and subreddits?

I have an idea for at least the chorus of a song but I have no idea how to write music so idk how people even do it

Edit: please know I appreciate every single persons input im just very confused I love you all (except the one person who recommended gpt)

So I've been starting to explore drag, as more of a drag thing than a king or queen. I'm cis in my day to day life but my enjoyment of gender expression expands across the board, which is why I started looking into it, as it gives me a part-time expression change but doesn't change me if that makes sense. Super into costume/cosplay drag and clown drag.

Anyway, a name is something I've been struggling with. I want something that's like... out there, but also very me. And those two don't really cross.

So the name I've been considering and I'm not sure how well it would be responded to, is CH-whore-7. In reference to the Chinook CH-47 helicopter. Because it's a special interest of mine. And I couldn't think of a way to drag up "chinook" so if you have ideas on that I'd love to hear it!

My only other ideas were dirty dick (I'm not a glamorous person and my main experiments into drag have always been as like the dirty old man who spends too much time commenting on Facebook. I think it's fun.) and sweet clem, after pricing some down at work and saying to my colleague, "that would be a great drag name"

Alternatively, I could go with something that would typically align with clowncore names (like pickles or Pierre or coco, stuff like that) but I feel it wouldn't work very well for drag out of clown themes. I think something I'm struggling with is one name to encapsulate me entirely, as a lot of drag names represent someone as a singular, recognisable image. Whereas my experience is more fluid and doesn't match just one style and one image.

Thank you in advance for any and all suggestions and feedback, and thank you for taking the time to read!

I have never used the gates going back from an area until today. Because why walk all that way when I can just transport back to another area?

So I went back through the gate from rocky ridges to get to my vending machine hub, and my vending machines weren't there because the area gate was different.

This is probably not news to anyone but how am I only discovering this after 400 hours??

I have worked with someone for about 4, maybe 5 years now? The crush was instantaneous. Everything about them, from the shallow end like their appearance to the deep stuff like the way they float around leaving everyone with a smile or have a laugh you want to hear again and again and again for the rest of your life. Everything about them had me drawn from day one, and what really affirmed it is we hit things off really well. I don't usually hit things off at all, so the fact that not only did it go well but it went amazingly? I was so overwhelmed.

Months of talking endlessly and getting slowly closer and teasing and talking a lot personally and stuff... everything was amazing.

Until my BPD got involved and they became my favourite person, and i let myself become obsessive. Now, im not going into this because im not here to tell that story. I messed up. Horrifically. I don't feel sorry for myself because it was my responsibility to handle and I didn't. That's where this part ends.

For about a year, we didn't speak. At all. I rearranged my schedule for breaks and shifts because being in the same room wasn't an option. It was a rough year. And I deserved every moment for how I handled things.

But suddenly, one day they just came up and spoke to me again like things were fine. I was incredibly cautious. I don't think I got out of that nervous spiral of being too scared to speak knowing I could fuck up again so easily for another year after that. We didn't exactly get close again but it was a second chance. I had never been given a second chance before. And I didn't want to mess it up.

That continued for about a year again, and then suddenly they stopped speaking to me altogether. Turns out they got a partner at that time. I'm not mad or upset in any way because that's none of my business and if they don't want to speak over it, I won't try to change that.

My feelings are practically non-existent at this point. But the reason I'm here... is because I have never really been able to move on. I've been in the dating scene for a few years. Been on a few dates, had one relationship that lasted a few months... but it never goes anywhere. And I don't get upset by it. Because I know they're not the one. And I feel like... they are. I've felt this way since the first day. Everything always comes back to them. My entire type is them. I've tried to branch out and just skip pictures entirely and go down to their interests but it just... it's never them, so it never really interests me. I still get stupid dreams where things actually worked out and they're gentle... and they won't happen. And it's weird because I am entirely settled and firm in that it won't happen, and again, I don't really feel anything anymore. Just this ache in the pit of my stomach that says it should have been us.

I don't even know what to call it. I'm happy they're with someone who makes them happy, and a lot of me knows it wouldn't have worked anyway because our interests in a partnership are very different. So I feel like, between many more things like that and how hard I've worked on healing my BPD, that it can't be that same obsession. I mean, they were absent for like weeks and I just thought they'd quit and I was like "oh. Wonder why no one's said anything yet this place is a gossip empire". But there's this nagging little voice in the back of my head that keeps saying I won't find what I'm looking for in anyone else.

And I guess it kind of sucks really. I want to just get on. I've been trying to find a new job, primarily for financial stability and the gain to be able to grow up and be independent. But there a little secondary reason of getting them out of my life so it's pointless to reminisce.

I have replanned a lot of things due this summer and am just thinking up random things to do in my time off work, and I remembered pettitt's. I haven't been since I was a kid, and it is mostly catered as a kids/family park, but I'd love to go for a bit of nostalgia, see the animals and ride some of the rides. But be fr if you saw a solo adult in the park, would you be weirded out or just think nothing of it? It's not like I'm about to go invade the play area or shit like that and I'd avoid days that have character events. It's different than going to like Alton towers or beach fairgrounds bc they're catered to the entirety of the public but maybe I'm just overthinking it.

Person: hey I got you a little keychain

NT: nice!

Person: (satisfied with that)

//

Person: hey I got you a little keychain

Autistic: oh nice! Thank you, I love it

Person: uhhh okay?

Person 2 who came out of no where: why are you so ungrateful?

Person 3 who spawned in late: yeah they went out of their way for you and that's all you can say?