u/poisoned_bubbletea

I cracked. I got pissed off after 15 minutes of her following my every movement around the counter.

For the record, we only take orders at weekends now. It's been a system for months. This lady is a regular and I personally have told her 4 times at least. We also have two closed signs that were both up. I spent 2 minutes standing directly behind one of them.

So anyway, 15 minutes in I crack because I my body reacts to being watched like I'm being held at gunpoint and I was sick of my hands shaking so much I couldn't do my job. I said "is there something you're waiting for?"

She goes, "yeah I want a spicy-"

I cut her off with "yeah we're closed. We have two signs right here that say we're closed."

She didn't even respond. Just walked away like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Anyway this exact occurrence happens at least 5 times a week and I hate customers

"You just have to break the cycle and relax" I am fucking relaxed thanks it's just that my brain thinks falling asleep = death

My body doesn't even pretend I'm falling anymore I can just feel it coming and then it happens and then I'm angry because I was about to fall asleep but now I'm filled with adrenaline and can't sleep so the next time I get to falling asleep, I get another jerk

I'm telling yall because I'm gonna tell my bestie when I see her in person Saturday (I can see she's also taking a break from uni work cuz she's gaming online rn) so I won't disrupt her break, I'm keeping it a secret from my mum until I pull up to the house in my own car when I pass my driving test, and I don't have a ouija board to tell my grandma

Important edit: my mum deals with multiple chronic pain disorders. That's why I comment on her as elderly and needing caring because she genuinely can't do it herself now.

I'm 25F. I've spent most of the last 10 years caring for my grandma. That was a choice I made and one I was happy to make. We got on like a house on fire. I couldn't imagine not being there for her. But I also knew that she wouldn't have the longest life after her second battle with cancer, and this may sound awful to say, but I knew I'd have plenty of time after she passed for my own life. And she passed last year sadly, but I've been trying to now get on my feet and focus on my life. Find my future wife, have kids, find a more suitable full time job to support us while I also work on my own projects to make some awesome stuff.

But instead, I'm being faced with having to stay and give all that up. My mum is 65 and gave up living quite a long time ago. She blames everyone else for everything and won't take help. We've tried getting her into therapy, she refuses. We tried getting her into social groups, she refuses. She relies on antidepressants that she hates. That's her entire life. Wake up between 10am-2pm, take her pills, sometimes do some shopping, and since I introduced her to it about 7 years ago, play stardew valley and sometimes solitaire, all day until she goes to bed again at 3am.

We can't afford care. There's nowhere we can take her to be looked after. She also won't leave her home. My older sibling is the ***very small portion*** type of autistic where they believe the world revolves around them and use it as a weapon to get away with doing shitty and abusive things, and is still bullying her to give them the house. I've told her she needs to kick them out because they're making her depression worse. She won't listen. They're about to turn 30. Now that im working on getting my license, I'll be able to get a full time job soon to be able to afford moving out. My sibling lives on disability and will get living assistance so they never have to work.

I want my own life. I really do. But she's becoming more and more incapable. Her back car door is barely hanging on from how many posts and walls she's driven into. She's nearly crashed multiple times on the same roundabout. She can barely handle going to the shop that's currently being renovated so things have moved around, without having a breakdown. She hasn't worked since I was 8. Government assistance and carer benefit is the only way she funds herself, plus 1/4 of my paycheck as my 'rent' (which is currently £200, considering her rent for the shared ownership house is just over £300. She won't see the doctor about pains. She won't see the doctor about anything. She once told me to tell her if she ever starts to get the "old person piss smell" and now she has, she won't listen or accept help for it. It's making the house fairly vile to live in because febreeze isn't enough and I can't touch her stuff. All she does is sit inside and blame immigrants for why her life is so shit. But I'm the only person who can look after her. I mean, most nurses in our area are migrants. None of them would be safe to work with her. My sibling is still expecting her to baby them. There's no one else to help because she doesn't have friends. Family other than myself is a different matter, they fucked her over.

I feel like leaving and going with my own life is a betrayal and leaving her for dead basically. Because again, no one else will look after her. We can't afford anyone. But fucks sake I don't want my entire life to be a free labour carer. I want my own family. My own life. My own life. And I don't know what to do. I already drown in guilt that I don't see my Grandad anymore because my aunt and uncle live with him and I can't face them after what they did to us. I just don't know what to do. I can't abandon her but I can't wait God knows how long for my own life.

Edit because I realise it sounds bad: no I do not want to stop eating as a whole. That is not the plan. I love eating. I love good meals. It's the constant need to eat/snack that's my problem.

Flavourful chewing is my primary stim and the only thing that fully regulates and relaxes me. Chewing alone (eg a chew necklace) doesn't work. Flavour alone (eg can be found in sugar free drinks) can sometimes work, but ultimately leads to discomfort from needing to pee frequently and as such, breaking focus from whatever activity I'm indulging in and thus makes me more stressed and reverses the effect of the stim.

Chewing gum doesn't work because it loses flavour quickly, and most of my teeth are filled and cannot take the constantly pull from sticky chewing. So the only thing left is actually eating. And as you can imagine, I can't eat all day long. I'm on a deficit after all and trying to lose weight.

I previously capped my need via vaping. It provided flavour and reduced appetite without needing the bathroom. However, I have stopped because it was drastically impacting my voice, heart and breathing.

Trying to not eat too often, I end up very agitated all day. The only time I don't get this way is while in the kitchen at work. Because I'm always busy. But I'm no longer in the kitchen now, and I can't work daily due to physical disability/chronic pain illnesses.

I don't know how to get an appropriate balance and it's just messing with me because now I'm not vaping I'm also not losing weight.

Long story short, my average time for completing mock theory questions is about 10 minutes for 50 questions with an average of 94% (I've only been doing them for a week) Add that to the automated timing of the hazard section, which I average at around 80%, I'll be done in about 20-30 minutes. Do I have to sit there for the rest of the hour?

I can't go a single day without people putting their hands on me or pushing me around or swearing at me and we're all just supposed to smile through it or face disciplinaries and firing. That's all. I'm just mad. Had a group waiting around and grazing at me like vultures over some goddamn pork

Edit: I forgot the best part. Some older women in skirts that lean over me and when I go "ummm excuse me?!" They yell at me for peeping up the skirt they draped over my head by leaving over me. I do NOT want to see crusty cooch.

I had a dream 11 years ago I thought would be an amazing story because I was amazed by my dream, started writing it, designed the characters, slowly just made some character sheets and minor adjustments but never had a full fleshed plan. Until 10 days ago. No one in my actual life cares. I care though. I'm proud of me.

So I'm autistic myself and struggle to know what to do in most situations. Anyway, I was at a theme park yesterday, and I didn't know every school in a 100 mile radius would be there the same day. It was a nightmare in general but this post is about this one SEN kid.

She was left only attended by a friend, was probably about 10-12 years old, but from what I could gather, her mental age was around 5. She definitely shouldn't have been without an adult is what I'm trying to say. Anyway, she got put next to me on a ride.

She squished so far up against me, stared at me the entire time, and was trying to grab my boobs and touched my ass.

Now, the fact I'm an adult (25), and she was very clearly mentally incapable of really understanding the wrongness in what she was doing, anything physical including removing her hands would have been inappropriate. The ride operator spoke to her earlier that she was entering the exit gate and she didn't understand one bit, so clearly talking wouldn't have helped either. And I tried to get off the ride but the operator was 16 and just shrugged.

When similar happened to me in school at 15 by a kid the same age as me, I thumped her one and it was the only thing that taught her to stop after tormenting me for literal years, where the teachers did nothing because she was SEN. But as I'm sure you can imagine, being touched inappropriately doesn't stop being uncomfortable because the kid doesn't understand.

So to anyone who has an SEN kid like this, who has a very young mental capacity, or teaches/minds kids who do, if I encounter this again, what should be done please? I'm not gonna be the adult that torments a kid who's SEN and incapable of understanding boundaries, but I'm sure it'll be helpful information to many to know how to handle this when their carer/guardian is not present to guide them.

I'm sick of telling a colleague who has done the same food prep job before elsewhere that no, you cannot contaminate the food with dirty toppings, only to be met with slamming doors and everything else that's able to be slammed.

I'm sick of telling someone who's done the job at another location that no, you cannot use the same gloves you use for the food on your penis while you piss and then go back to making food with them on, to be told that I'm bullying the colleague in question.

I'm sick of doing more than my jobsworth by nearly triple the workload purely because i hate standing around and would rather get things done to distract myself, to suddenly become the worlds biggest bitch the one day I'm too busy with my actual job to do someone else's for them.

I'm sick of being the gossip of the workplace about how nasty and horrible I am because I told someone I wasn't in the mood to talk, and eventually got direct (no snapping, because I don't believe in snapping at people) after being harassed about why I don't want to talk for the next hour.

I'm sick of being the only one to ever get in trouble, especially for things I didn't do, just because I'm the easiest person to punish because I will simply refuse to sign the disciplinary, whereas the older colleagues will drown on to the manager for weeks about it. I'm not in charge of my department by the way. I may have been serving the longest now, but again, I'm younger than all but one of them (the only guy who's nice to me btw.) and am not in a leadership position. If they're going to make the whole team my responsibility, I should be paid as a leader.

I'm just sick of it. I think I need a job where I don't have colleagues because I cannot keep dealing with grumpy old farts with the emotional capability of a brick

I mean I'd like to keep it on my person but I don't really know how to go about it safely. My only plan so far has been shorts with zipper pockets and being a carabiner and chain to ensure to stays locked but the zips available on these shorts don't have space to add those