u/Relative_Wedding_559

I can't be the only one, right? I know a lot of women who tend to have daddy issues actually seek out relationships to get the love they didn't get from their dad, but I feel like I'm the complete opposite. I am not interested in dating men, I DEFINITELY do not want any kids, and just, idk. I just hated seeing my mom being helpless. I know that we as women can work right now, but I can honestly not even think of anything a man can add to my life other than intercourse, maybe because my dad was a deadbeat?

Y'all idk, lemme know where u stand

The reason I mentioned " I think" is because I'm not 100 percent certain about it, but I am about 99%. I tend to find men very boring and unfunny. In 1-on-1 conversations, they act as if the whole world revolves around them, and then confess out of nowhere. They're ignorant, and most of them expect their wives to pop out as many kids as they desire, just to continue their "legacy" as if their sperm is made out of liquid gold (plus I don't even want kids).

I've had bad experiences with men, and I'm simply not interested in them as human beings, but I do know I'm still attracted to, yk..., their genitalia, but that's about it, and that's not even a joke. I'm also not one to use people for their bodies, and I know I could technically just mess around without any label, but I also don't think I'm capable of doing that. Not because I get attached, but I don't wanna catch some sort of std.

Another point: most of the women I'm surrounded by are extremely male-centred, and I kinda fear ending up all by myself. I would be okay never dating a man because they're disgusting, but most women I know, especially in my culture, just put so much emphasis on marrying, and all my girl friends only talk about wanting to date men (which I can't stand).

How do you deal with this? Did being single by choice leave you lonely, or the complete opposite?

Where y'all African parents like this as well?

When we would go to do an activity, which literally barely happened, maybe once in a blue moon, my mom would want the whole house spick and span before anyone was allowed to step a foot outside, meaning the activity would be delayed for hoursss.

So we had planned to be there at 10, but it got delayed to 4 pm, while the place we were going to would close at 6 pm... My neurodivergent brain didn't do well in this environment, I can tell u that

Hoi, ik zoek advies over mijn situatie in een vrouwenopvang. Ik vraag me vooral af of de manier waarop dit wordt aangepakt normaal is en of ik bepaalde rechten of mogelijkheden heb.

Ik ben 19 jaar en verblijf in een vrouwenopvang. Toen ik daar kwam, is mondeling tegen mij gezegd dat ik ongeveer 6 tot 9 maanden zou blijven en daarna zelfstandig zou kunnen wonen als ik genoeg gespaard had.

Het probleem is dat mijn situatie anders is dan die van veel andere bewoners. Omdat ik 19 ben, krijg ik minder bijstand dan oudere vrouwen in de opvang. Daardoor kan ik ongeveer €400 per maand minder sparen dan sommige anderen, terwijl mijn kosten voor het dagelijks leven niet lager zijn. Ik heb inmiddels ongeveer €800 gespaard en wil graag zo snel mogelijk zelfstandig worden, omdat ik mijn leven wil opbouwen en bijvoorbeeld een studie wil starten.

Ik wil daarom graag gaan werken. Ik begrijp dat ik in de opvang nog steeds verantwoordelijkheden heb, zoals schoonmaaktaken, bijeenkomsten en diensten.

Mijn zorgen:

• Ik zou waarschijnlijk 5 dagen per week moeten werken om genoeg te verdienen.
• Daarnaast zou ik nog 2 diensten van 8 uur moeten doen en ook elke dag schoonmaaktaken.
• Deze diensten zijn achter elkaar gepland op mijn vrije dagen, omdat dat de enige dagen zijn waarop ik beschikbaar ben.
• Thuis in de opvang is er veel drukte en geluid (bijvoorbeeld kinderen), waardoor ik na een drukke week weinig mogelijkheid heb om te herstellen.

Ik heb autisme en ik merk dat veel prikkels en weinig rust invloed hebben op mijn belastbaarheid. Ik wil juist werken en zelfstandig worden, maar ik ben bang dat de combinatie van werk, diensten en de opvangomgeving te veel wordt, omdat ik al merk dat ik het me nu al niet trek in de drukte.

Ik heb dit besproken, maar de reactie was dat ik anders gewoon niet moet werken en er langer over moet doen om mijn spaardoel te bereiken en dat ik er uiteindelijk zelf voor heb gekozen dat ik in deze situatie zit (ben ontsnapt aan een thuissituatie waar ik werd mishandeld).

Mijn vraag:

• Is het normaal dat een opvang geen rekening houdt met verschillen in leeftijd, inkomen en omstandigheden?
• Kan er juridisch gezien sprake zijn van ongelijke behandeling of moet een opvang altijd dezelfde regels voor iedereen hanteren?
• Heb ik recht op maatwerk vanwege mijn autisme of mijn situatie?
• Zijn er stappen die ik kan nemen als ik vind dat er onvoldoende naar mijn situatie wordt gekeken?

Alvast bedankt voor jullie reacties.

Maybe a wild question to ask, i know, but since most somali's are muslim, and are outcasts if you don't learn the language, would it even be worth it?

I'm already so detached from my roots. i'm half somali, but never learned the language. the only words i know are cadaan and bariis, and it makes me so sad that i have nowhere i belong to. i live in europe, but i obviously don't wanna be claimed by these people if they subconsciously show microaggressions.

so is it worth it?

the other subs seem overwhelming, and they only do a certain number of readings, but i'm in need of one right now...

I have weekly conversations with support staff here, and today I brought up how i had a hard time foreseeing a future with my current circumstances. i don't get as much benefit as the other women here because I'm younger, even though we have the same costs to pay off. I would have to stay double the amount of time here to be able to save up to move out, compared to the others. I also mentioned working, but that's gonna be tough because I have a lot of duties at this shelter as well, not in the right mind mentally, plus it can be unsafe for me to do that now (I would still earn around the same I get from benefits because of my age).

I hate it here. I asked them to give me more clarity, because I have autism as well, but they don't seem to understand or provide any support.

The support staff told me that I chose to be in this situation.

I don't get it. Was I supposed to stay at home where my parents were abusing me? Am I interpreting what she said completely wrong? Please give me some insight. I suck at understanding social cues, but I just felt like it was a weird thing to say?

Wil wel een goed salaris. Leef namelijk op mijzelf

I've been trying to lose weight for 4 months now, and I keep falling into my old habits. I try to distract myself, which clearly hasn't worked for me :(. I'm just so addicted to food. Even keeping up with exercise gets hard, but I feel like a buddy would really help.

I'm 19, weigh 66 kg, 5'4, and eat 1500 calories.

If ur interested in being friends, hit me up, but only do so if you know you won't end up ignoring me after 5 minutes talking, which is how most Reddit friendships end lol.

Before the comments flood with telling me how i shouldnt be talking about myself like that and that i can be smart, please... don't :). I've dropped out of 2 college majors because i couldn't keep up with it (didn't understand), and was extremely behind. those majors being working in a lab, and fashion.

To get to the point. I'm supposed to work, i also live on my own so I want to have a reasonable pay so I could at least take care of myself, but being pretty dumb doesn't make it easier, and being introverted doesn't either. Has anyone that been in the same boat figured out what worked for them, so i can look into that?

Before the comments flood with telling me how i shouldnt be talking about myself like that and that i can be smart, please... don't :). I've dropped out of 2 college majors because i couldn't keep up with it (didn't understand), and was extremely behind. those majors being working in a lab, and fashion.

To get to the point. I'm supposed to work, i also live on my own so I want to have a reasonable pay so I could at least take care of myself, but being pretty dumb doesn't make it easier, and being introverted doesn't either. Has anyone that been in the same boat figured out what worked for them, so i can look into that?

Voordat de reacties binnenstromen waarin mensen zeggen dat ik niet zo over mezelf moet praten en dat ik best slim kan zijn: alsjeblieft... niet doen :). Ik ben met twee opleidingen gestopt omdat ik het niet kon bijbenen (ik begreep de stof niet) en enorm achterliep; het ging om laboratoriumwerk en mode.

Even ter zake. Ik moet een opleiding gaan volgen. Ik woon op mezelf, dus ik wil een redelijk salaris om in ieder geval voor mijn eigen onderhoud te kunnen zorgen. Maar behoorlijk dom zijn maakt het er niet makkelijker op, en introvert zijn ook niet. Heeft iemand die in hetzelfde schuitje heeft gezeten ontdekt wat voor hem of haar werkte, zodat ik dat eens kan bekijken? Ik ga trouwnes een mbo niveau 4 volgen

Just like the title says,i listen to music 24/7. it helps me focus, but i also notice myself feeling very anxious and scared when i don't have any earbuds in, especially outside. I do struggle with social anxiety and anxiety in general and have been diagnosed with autism as well. I wanted to get diagnosed for ADHD too, as i suspect i have both, and heard that ADHDers also seek out dopamine 24/7.

So i'm just wondering if i messed up my brain or something. I remember when i did go to school i had a hard time focusing, but i can't tell you if its because of that.

Just like the title says,i listen to music 24/7. it helps me focus, but i also notice myself feeling very anxious and scared when i don't have any earbuds in, especially outside. I do struggle with social anxiety and anxiety in general and have been diagnosed with autism as well. I wanted to get diagnosed for ADHD too, as i suspect i have both, and heard that ADHDers also seek out dopamine 24/7.

So i'm just wondering if i messed up my brain or something. I remember when i did go to school i had a hard time focusing, but i can't tell you if its because of that.

Just like the title says,i listen to music 24/7. it helps me focus, but i also notice myself feeling very anxious and scared when i don't have any earbuds in, especially outside. I do struggle with social anxiety and anxiety in general and have been diagnosed with autism as well.

So i'm just wondering if i messed up my brain or something. I remember when i did go to school i had a hard time focusing, but i can't tell you if its because of that.

Which one do you guys find works best, and does it depend on the circumstance? I'm kind of new to this, so i would love to know more about it so I can eventually also stipple out my dream life

With the way things are going, I think I'll spiral deeper into a depression. I feel like shit most of the time. I'm extremely insecure about myself. I'm really broke and don't have a degree. I got kicked out and have a hard time coming by. I don't see a future for myself.

I'm often told that your 20s are for working on yourself and expanding your social circle, but I have no friends, I'm autistic af (diagnosed, yes smhh), and have no social skills. I don't know if there's hope for a person like me.

I try to have a positive outlook on my future, but then reality sets back in, and I realize that I might not be able to amount to anything. I have no goals; the only thing I wanna do in life is produce music, and I suck at that too, plus it's not a stable job and is highly competitive, so I have to settle for something more realistic.

How do I get by, guys, and are there any young adults who are dealing with the same but still try to keep their heads up? I don't wanna lose myself.

With the way things are going, I think I'll spiral deeper into a depression. I feel like shit most of the time. I'm extremely insecure about myself. I'm really broke and don't have a degree. I got kicked out and have a hard time coming by. I don't see a future for myself.

I'm often told that your 20s are for working on yourself and expanding your social circle, but I have no friends, I'm autistic af (diagnosed, yes smhh), and have no social skills. I don't know if there's hope for a person like me.

I try to have a positive outlook on my future, but then reality sets back in, and I realize that I might not be able to amount to anything. I have no goals; the only thing I wanna do in life is produce music, and I suck at that too, plus it's not a stable job and is highly competitive, so I have to settle for something more realistic.

How do I get by, guys, and are there any young adults who are dealing with the same but still try to keep their heads up? I don't wanna lose myself.

I really have no idea how to deal with this anymore.

I’m currently staying in a women’s shelter and receiving a benefit that allows me to save about 200 euros—which sounds like a decent amount—but I’ll only have that for a few months (2 or 3 more), and after that, I have to use those savings to furnish my new home.

I shared my concerns with one of the staff members, and it seemed like she thought I was complaining about a relatively small sum; the thing is, I often feel like people don't grasp the level of anxiety money can cause when you grew up very poor. My parents used to have so much debt, and I don’t want to follow in their footsteps. I haven’t started any college courses yet either, so I can’t just jump straight into a job earning minimum wage; I’ll probably end up living with even more anxiety than I do now.

I’m just afraid that, even as I get older, I’ll never really be able to build up a financial cushion. I often see people around me saying they can’t save in this economy—as if saving were a luxury—but I’m terrified that if something happens, I’ll find myself in serious trouble. Financial stress is truly the worst thing there is.

The answer is probably no, because in real life you just deal with these kinds of people, but I have had so many bad experiences that I'm just so scared of finding a new job. I don't know how to grow tougher skin. I have been trying not to let the words of these coworkers at my previous job get to me, but it didn't help. I would always come home crying from work, and this happened at multiple jobs.

I got yelled at by my manager once, or I was being told that I am either too shy or look mean, whilst I really try my hardest to come off nice. I was also being made fun of and was accused of stealing things.

I'm just so scared. I wanna start working and just finance my own life, but people are so mean, and I'm scared it's just inevitable for a person like me. I don't wanna have problems with others, or any more problems than I currently already have.