u/Sea_Safe3079

I held 9 accounting jobs during my 7 year career. Here’s what my experience looks like:

Graduated university in 2017

2017: 3 month internship
2018: 3 month temp contract job
2018: 6 month job, got fired because I had imposter syndrome and the old ladies I reported to were mean to me
2019: 2.5 years job, my first real big girl job 🫶
2021: 9 months, got laid off after being promised to be promoted
2022: 3 months job, panicked and accepted the first job offer I got after the lay off. Hated it.
2022: 3 week job! I accepted this job because I wanted to get out of the job above, but was anticipating an offer from the job below. Left as soon as I got the offer from the below position. This company went bankrupt so it worked out the best for me.
2023: 2 years job, my most tolerable accounting job ❤️
2025: 6 months, lost patience and wanted to leave accounting for good.

Total: about 7 years of accounting, left it for good now.

Obviously I know this is a huge red flag. The reason I kept jumping around was because I just wasn’t happy in accounting. I kept thinking maybe this next job will be good. Man was I wrong. Every few weeks, I was anticipating quitting. I was completely drained 🫩

Half way thru my career, I realized I just couldn’t tolderate accounting anymore. I spent 3 years thinking of ways to either pivot into something else or do a complete career change. It took me 3 years to work up the courage to walk away from a career that I started to hate. The pay didn’t even matter to me anymore. I couldn’t work in accounting for another minute.

I applied to hundreds, maybe even thousands of jobs. And yes, I did become an expert at doing interviews 😅.

For those who are curious, I only included the ones that are in bold are on my resume.

For the past year, I went into a human services and I love it. I wish I had made the change sooner. Best decision of my life.

I held 9 accounting jobs during my 7 year career. Here’s what my experience looks like:

Graduated university in 2017

2017: 3 month internship
2018: 3 month temp contract job
2018: 6 month job, got fired because I had imposter syndrome and the old ladies I reported to were mean to me
2019: 2.5 years job, my first real big girl job 🫶
2021: 9 months, got laid off after being promised to be promoted
2022: 3 months job, panicked and accepted the first job offer I got after the lay off. Hated it.
2022: 3 week job! I accepted this job because I wanted to get out of the job above, but was anticipating an offer from the job below. Left as soon as I got the offer from the below position. This company went bankrupt so it worked out the best for me.
2023: 2 years job, my most tolerable accounting job ❤️
2025: 6 months, lost patience and wanted to leave accounting for good.

Total: about 7 years of accounting, left it for good now.

Obviously I know this is a huge red flag. The reason I kept jumping around was because I just wasn’t happy in accounting. I kept thinking maybe this next job will be good. Man was I wrong. Every few weeks, I was anticipating quitting. I was completely drained 🫩

Half way thru my career, I realized I just couldn’t tolderate accounting anymore. I spent 3 years thinking of ways to either pivot into something else or do a complete career change. It took me 3 years to work up the courage to walk away from a career that I started to hate. The pay didn’t even matter to me anymore. I couldn’t work in accounting for another minute.

I applied to hundreds, maybe even thousands of jobs. And yes, I did become an expert at doing interviews 😅.

For those who are curious, I only included the ones that are in bold are on my resume.

For the past year, I went into a human services and I love it. I wish I had made the change sooner. Best decision of my life.

This is a question for women who are career oriented with high earning salaries(doctors, lawyers, engineers, STEM workers, etc). Will you be contributing financially once you’re married?

A lot of men go for successful women because they want them to contribute financially (given that household and children responsibilities will be split).

I’ve met my friend about a few years ago in college. She’s a political science major and I’m in business analytics. We weren’t that close initially but started talking/seeing each other daily at school a few years ago.

Generally I think she’s really nice and we like to advice and help each other. The problem is that I don’t really like her. We bonded over similar traumas and learned faith together. But other than that we don’t have much in common.

I don’t enjoy spending time with her and I think she’s boring. She sends me messages about her daily life that I find completely useless and boring to talk about. It’s almost like reading a blog on an influencer who I don’t really care to know so much about. Even though I talk to her more than some of my other friends, I feel like I’m closer to others. She calls me her sister (she’s not close to her real sisters) but I don’t feel the same towards her.

There are some personality and value differences between us which generally I think it’s ok to have between friends. For example, I’m conservative and she’s liberal. She says she’s very open minded and says she’s non judgy but that’s not true. She often says that I’m extremely judgmental but she judges others too, just for different reasons.

I find that I tend to judge people based on their values and life style and she judges them based off of intellect. Maybe we’re both wrong here but that’s just how we think.

One thing that really annoys me is me that she feels like she has to be the best at everything. When there is something that she doesn’t know about, or there is something she’s not great at, she gets really embarrassed. Like bro, it’s ok not to be the smartest or highest achiever in the room. I have friends who are in med school and even they don’t act like this. They aren’t obsessed with being the best and the brightest. Generally speaking, she’s pretty humble in other ways.

I don’t want to ghost her because I know that’s wrong and I’d feel hurt if someone did that to me. I’m sure I’m not perfect either and have my flaws too, but it seems like she’s more interested in being friends with me me than I am with her. But I also don’t ever feel like talking to her or seeing her. Should I slowly become distant?

The past couple of years, my family has gone thru some extremely strange/shocking experiences. Things that we would have never thought of has happened to us.

My sister’s marriage problems. Her husband was abusive, neglectful, always threatening divorce, kicked her out like 10 times, watches porn, disappears all night, and talked to girls on dating apps. This was the man that everyone vouched for and guaranteed a happy life with him. So this was very unexpected.

Alhamdullilah my sister lived a very healthy life, until during/after pregnancy, she started having lots of health problems. She had several pregnancy complications and ended up giving birth unexpectedly at 26 weeks.

Next year, my sister suddenly got lice out of no where. No one else in my our family had it. No one had travelled anywhere abroad. It was just her, she got it out of no where. We live in the west where it’s extremely rare to get lice. Extremely strange.

My mom had a very close relationship with her older sister and my cousin. My cousin even referred to my mom as her second mom. One day, my sister’s husband and in laws started getting phone calls from private numbers. They were putting false accusations on my sister and our family to break the marriage. It turns out that the phone calls were coming from my older aunt and my cousin. My mom couldn’t believe it. She was incredibly close to both of them. She had raised my cousin as her own child. How can they break trust of 60+ years?? 60 years of trust and relationship gone! This had NEVER happened before.

Later that same year, my cousin broke my trust by back stabbing me. I have known my cousin since birth. We called eachother sisters. I fully trusted her. She never used to talk bad about anyone behind their back. So why me, why break my trust after 25 years! We never got into fights, EVER.

Now my sister’s divorce. After all she had been thru with her husband, she’s getting a divorce. Her husband claimed that he loves his daughter more than anyone else in the world. Initially during the separation he was very involved in her life. But now slowly he’s detached himself from her. He can go weeks without seeing his own daughter and it doenst seem like he cares about her anymore.

All of these issues happened in the course of 2 years. Keep in mind that some of these relations were stable for decades, until recently.

A couple of months ago, while doing a deep clean, I found a black magic. I had to google it and found out that it’s sihr/black magic. The way it’s written, it’s supposed to trick people into thinking that it’s Islamic because it starts off with Allahs name. I ripped the paper into pieces, threw it all into a lake, and played Surah baqrah at home. I have no idea who put that there at how long we’ve had that there.

Keep in mind I had down ruqya several times on everyone during this time period even before I found the Sihr. Things have not gotten better after getting rid of it either. Is there any hope for things to get batter? Or is the result of the black magic permanent?

The past couple of years, my family has gone thru some extremely strange/shocking experiences. Things that we would have never thought of has happened to us.

My sister’s marriage problems. Her husband was abusive, neglectful, always threatening divorce, kicked her out like 10 times, watches porn, disappears all night, and talked to girls on dating apps. This was the man that everyone vouched for and guaranteed a happy life with him. So this was very unexpected.

Alhamdullilah my sister lived a very healthy life, until during/after pregnancy, she started having lots of health problems. She had several pregnancy complications and ended up giving birth unexpectedly at 26 weeks.

Next year, my sister suddenly got lice out of no where. No one else in my our family had it. No one had travelled anywhere abroad. It was just her, she got it out of no where. We live in the west where it’s extremely rare to get lice. Extremely strange.

My mom had a very close relationship with her older sister and my cousin. My cousin even referred to my mom as her second mom. One day, my sister’s husband and in laws started getting phone calls from private numbers. They were putting false accusations on my sister and our family to break the marriage. It turns out that the phone calls were coming from my older aunt and my cousin. My mom couldn’t believe it. She was incredibly close to both of them. She had raised my cousin as her own child. How can they break trust of 60+ years?? 60 years of trust and relationship gone! This had NEVER happened before.

Later that same year, my cousin broke my trust by back stabbing me. I have known my cousin since birth. We called eachother sisters. I fully trusted her. She never used to talk bad about anyone behind their back. So why me, why break my trust after 25 years! We never got into fights, EVER.

Now my sister’s divorce. After all she had been thru with her husband, she’s getting a divorce. Her husband claimed that he loves his daughter more than anyone else in the world. Initially during the separation he was very involved in her life. But now slowly he’s detached himself from her. He can go weeks without seeing his own daughter and it doenst seem like he cares about her anymore.

All of these issues happened in the course of 2 years. Keep in mind that some of these relations were stable for decades, until recently.

A couple of months ago, while doing a deep clean, I found a black magic. I had to google it and found out that it’s sihr/black magic. The way it’s written, it’s supposed to trick people into thinking that it’s Islamic because it starts off with Allahs name. I ripped the paper into pieces, threw it all into a lake, and played Surah baqrah at home. I have no idea who put that there at how long we’ve had that there.

Keep in mind I had down ruqya several times on everyone during this time period even before I found the Sihr. Things have not gotten better after getting rid of it either. Is there any hope for things to get batter? Or is the result of the black magic permanent?

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After working in corporate accounting for 6 years, I was successfully able tol pivot into a financial operations/compliance role. I was there for about 6 months until I realized that I didn’t really like this job that much either. I had worked in quite an exclusive industry (entertainment, uhnw, sports, etc) and I feel like a lot of people wouldn’t understand why I left when I had so much potential.

I wasn’t happy working in accounting or any finance office job. The never ending deadlines, unnecessary sense of urgency, acting like I cared about the work, staring at the computer for up to 12+ on a daily basis, etc. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret my career at all. I feel like I was able to challenge myself, built my confidence, learned a lot and saved a lot of money. But I just couldn’t stand doing that even for another minute.

In the past year, I had switched to working in social services. I love it and my mental health has never been better. I never have to think about work outside of working hours. I work 3 12 hour shifts and get to spend the rest of my time doing things that I love. The problem is that my pay is significantly lower. I’ve noticed that people just don’t respect my work anymore.

To most people, now I’m “just an aid”. I had no idea how much lack of respect I’d have to deal with. I’m also concerned about the lack of pay growth in this career path.

Has anyone switched out of accepting and regretted it? Sometimes I doubt my decisions but I can always go back if I wanted…

Salam everyone

I’m not Arab, I’m South Asian American. In our culture, the sons don’t move out even after marrlage. In a lot of traditional desi families, the daughter in law is expected to cook, clean, take care, and live with her husband’s parents/his family. Not only is this a very unislamic practice, but it’s also a very misogynistic tradition that has destroyed many marrlages.

So how do Arabs make it work? In Arab culture, both daughters and sons move out after marriage and there are no exceptions for the daughter in law to live with or take care her in laws. I know Arab culture gives women many of their Islamic rights and they would never place this burden on daughter in laws.

So what happens if all of the children get married? Who do the parents live with if they are old, sick, retired, or have limited income? What’s the right/islamic way to do things?

Salam everyone

I’m not Arab, I’m South Asian American. In our culture, the sons don’t move out even after marrlage. In a lot of traditional desi families, the daughter in law is expected to cook, clean, take care, and live with her husband’s parents/his family. Not only is this a very unislamic practice, but it’s also a very misogynistic tradition that has destroyed many marrlages.

So how do Arabs make it work? In Arab culture, both daughters and sons move out after marriage and there are no exceptions for the daughter in law to live with or take care her in laws. I know Arab culture gives women many of their Islamic rights and they would never place this burden on daughter in laws.

So what happens if all of the children get married? Who do the parents live with if they are old, sick, retired, or have limited income? What’s the right/islamic way to do things?

Salam everyone

I’m not Arab, I’m South Asian American. In our culture, the sons don’t move out even after marrlage. In a lot of traditional desi families, the daughter in law is expected to cook, clean, take care, and live with her husband’s parents/his family. Not only is this a very unislamic practice, but it’s also a very misogynistic tradition that has destroyed many marrlages.

So how do Arabs make it work? In Arab culture, both daughters and sons move out after marriage and there are no exceptions for the daughter in law to live with or take care her in laws. I know Arab culture gives women many of their Islamic rights and they would never place this burden on daughter in laws.

So what happens if all of the children get married? Who do the parents live with if they are old, sick, retired, or have limited income? What’s the right/islamic way to do things?

I feel emotional when I go to the gyno. I’m single and not pregnant, but for some reason, going to the gyno reminds me of motherhood and babies. Which is interesting because the first time I’d ever been to the gyno was due to PCOS and irregular periods, which isn’t a positive first experience to have at the gyno.

Sometimes I wish that had a job at the gyno, but I wouldn’t have the strength to break sad news to patients or pregnant moms.

Anyone else feel the same way?

Guys I’m incredibly frustrated and shocked at how common it is for ABDC couples to have in laws issues, to the extent where marriages end in divorce. Couples who don’t even live with in laws have these problems. Why is this even happening? Why aren’t we evolving from our toxic cultural baggage? These people have been in USA for 30+ years!?

I know of couples who dated for 10 years, and then right after marriage the husband switches up on his wife and neglects her and prioritizes his parents. Or worse, puts false accusations of the wife being “disrespectful” for not cooking, cleaning, or bonding with husband’s family. I’ve never seen the woman’s side of the family create these issues.

Why is this happening? I’ve seen men abandon their wife and child for their parents. According to them, only their parents and siblings are their family. What about your wife or child, are they not your family? When will we evolve??? This is USA not Pakistan/India/Bangladesh/etc. When will the misogynistic buIIshlt end?!

rant over 😤🎤

I’ve known my friend for the past few years. We talk very regularly but we don’t agree on a lot of things. But I think a friendship can definitely survive if there are differences in some areas. But there are parts of her personality that I don’t really like.

Here are some examples of things we don’t agree on:

1. During convos about marriage, we were talking about deal breakers I brought up several times about how certain pasts are deal breakers for me. She would always get defensive about peoples pasts and then eventually one day, she kind of told me that she also has a past but she’s repented from it and that’s why she doesn’t think it’s fair to judge on peoples pasts. I don’t judge her for it because she’s not a marriage potential. I told her that we don’t have to agree on this and then I just didn’t bring up this topic ever again.
2. She had an employee that reports to her who wasn’t the smartest and she kept degrading him by calling him dumb and stupid. She was gossiping about him a lot and it made me uncomfortable. I’m not the smartest person either, definitely not as smart as her, and now I feel incredibly stupid and self conscious around her especially after seeing how harshly she judged someone else for not being smart enough.
3. What if she judges me the same way even tho she never said anything to me I just don’t like the way she treated him and talked about him. I don’t reall

y

1. gossip about people unless they have done something personally wrong to me. I just felt like gossiping about someone’s lack of knowledge or intelligence isn’t really right.
2. She’s been going thru a lot lately with her siblings health and has been very overwhelmed with responsibilities. I kindly suggested to her that maybe she can find a job that’s not as demanding and even sent her links about how she can get this less stressful job. She talked to me in a very condescending manner and said I would never tell you to focus more on your career (she knows I took a career break). She kept emphasizing that her career is so important to her and that I wouldn’t understand because for me a job is just a job. Which is true but she could have chosen less offensive terminology.

Keep in mind I was trying to comfort her while I’ve been goign thru a lot myself too. I definitely didn’t expect such a condescending response from her.

5. It also sounded like she was mocking me for wanting to get married from a young age. Yes I wanted to be married young so I can do things the traditional “right way”. She didn’t start looking for marriage at a young age because she had been in relationships and wasn’t interested in marriage.

Keep in mind I also come from a “successful” background but took a career break as I was burnt out. I just feel like she’s very arrogant.

I also don’t really enjoy hanging out with her and I think our hangouts are really boring and forced. She calls me her bff and says that she’s really happy to be my friend but I don’t feel the same way. Maybe we don’t have a compatible personalities. I was just friends with her because I thought she was nice but it doesn’t even seem like that anymore.

I’ve known my friend for the past few years. We talk very regularly but we don’t agree on a lot of things. But I think a friendship can definitely survive if there are differences in some areas.

Here are some examples of things we don’t agree on:

1. I brought up in several convos about how a man’s past matters to me a lot and certain pasts are deal breakers for me. She would always defend peoples pasts and then eventually one day, she kind of told me that she also has a past but she’s repented from it and that’s why she doesn’t think it’s fair to judge on peoples pasts. I don’t judge her for it because she’s not a marriage potential. I told her that we don’t have to agree on this and then I just didn’t bring up this topic ever again.

2. She had an employee that reports to her who wasn’t the smartest and she kept degrading him by calling him dumb and stupid. I’m not the smartest person either, definitely not as smart as her, and I feel incredibly stupid and self conscious around her especially after seeing how harshly she judged someone else for not being smart enough. I feel like she judges me the same way even tho she never said anything like this before. I just don’t like the way she treated him and talked about him. I don’t really talk bad about people like that unless they have done something personally wrong to me. I just felt like she was gossiping about him.

3. She’s been going thru a lot lately with her siblings health and has been very overwhelmed with responsibilities. I kindly suggested to her that maybe she can find a job that’s not as demanding and even sent her links about how she can get this less stressful job. She talked to me in a very condescending manner and said I would never tell you to focus more on your career (she knows I took a career break). She kept emphasizing that her career is so important to her and that I wouldn’t understand because for me a job is just a job. Which is true but she could have chosen less offensive terminology. Constantly saying things like “well that’s good for you but not for me I’m too educated or successful for that”.

I posted a couple of days ago asking if I should get a Pap smear or not. I built up the courage to finally get it done today. The nurse tried doing it 2 times, but it just wasn’t happening. It was just too painful for me. The nurse asked me if I’ve ever inserted anything there I said no. She asked “not even toys”? I said nope. And then she recommended me to try to use toys/dilators so I can get a Pap smear done, which is obviously not something I want to do.

It’s frustrating because I want to make sure that I’m doing ok down there. Do I have to wait until I’m active to get a Pap smear? I don’t want my Pap smears to be contingent on my virginity timeline. What if I remain a virgin forever? Does that mean I’ll never get a Pap smear? So frustrating!

Also now I’m afraid, what if I have vaginismus?

I posted a couple of days ago asking if I should get a Pap smear or not. I built up the courage to finally get it done today. The nurse tried doing it 2 times, but it just wasn’t happening. It was just too painful for me. The nurse asked me if I’ve ever inserted anything there I said no. She asked “not even toys”? I said nope. And then she recommended me to try to use toys/dilators so I can get a Pap smear done, which is obviously not something I want to do.

It’s frustrating because I want to make sure that I’m doing ok down there. Do I have to wait until I’m married to get a Pap smear? I don’t want my Pap smears to be contingent on my marriage timeline. What if I never get married and remain a virgin forever? Does that mean I’ll never get a Pap smear? So frustrating!

Also now I’m afraid, what if I have vaginismus?

So I posted a couple of days ago asking if I should get a Pap smear or not. I built up the courage to finally get it done today. The nurse tried doing it 2 times, but it just wasn’t happening. It was wayyy too painful for me. The nurse asked me if I’ve ever inserted anything there I said no. She asked “not even toys”? I said nope. And then she recommended me to try to use toys/dilators so I can get a Pap smear done, which is obviously not something I want to do.

It’s frustrating because I want to make sure that I’m doing ok down there. Do I have to wait until I’m married to get a Pap smear (waiting until marriage)? I don’t want my Pap smears to be contingent on my marriage timeline. What if I never get married and remain a virgin forever? Does that mean I’ll never get a Pap smear? So frustrating!

Also now I’m afraid, what if I have vaginismus?

As a 31F virgin, I’ve never gotten a Pap smear. The gynos said that I can do it if I want but it’s not required since I’m a virgin.

The problem is that I’m terrified of the brush. I had a swab test done a while back and I was barely able to tolerate that. I can’t imagine how painful the pap would be. But I also feel like I need to do it because 31 years is a long time to go without knowing how I’m doing down there?

As a 31F virgin, I’ve never gotten a Pap smear. The gynos said that I can do it if I want but it’s not required since I’m a virgin.

The problem is that I’m terrified of the brush. I had a swab test done a while back and I was barely able to tolerate that. I can’t imagine how painful the pap would be. But I also feel like I need to do it because 31 years is a long time to go without knowing how I’m doing down there?