u/cafeteriastyle

When we scored the first goal (the first one that didn’t count) I jumped up so fast I pulled a muscle in my back. Now I can barely get around. This is getting ridiculous

I have been doing pretty good for a long time. I don’t remember it being like this in maybe a year? More? I’m really bad at judging time. Anyway, I can’t stop ruminating about all the stupid things I’ve done or said, some of the stuff is from more than 20 years ago. It’s just constantly going through my head, and it’s like I’m almost forcing myself to do it bc when I wake up the first thing I think is “you better get started.”

It’s in the back of my mind all the time, especially when I’m trying to sleep. I don’t fall asleep until after 1, and this is with 100 mg of trazodone (2 )0.1 clonidine. I take 450 mg XL Wellbutrin and lamictal as my psych meds.

And now it’s to the point where if I go out to the shop and don’t get something as minor as how to use their pin pad properly while paying, it goes on the pile. I feel on the verge of a panic attack constantly so I take klonopin but I really don’t want to take a lot. I already take 0.5 mg or less a day (cut down from 2 mg/day on my own). I love my psychiatrist and I know I should contact her but don’t want to have to deal with all that, I just want it to go away. I know that’s unreasonable but still.

I am getting a colonoscopy on Tuesday and while I think I’ll be ok having to go 24 hours without kratom, I grabbed some extract just in case. I have been using plain leaf well over 10 years and have never once tried extract. It’s 100mg, and I usually take like 20-25 gpd of leaf. I don’t want to blow my tolerance out of the water so I’m curious how much I should take? I really don’t want l have to use it, and I’ll try not to. But just wanted some advice. Thanks

I know we used to see pap pics with her and Cynthia but I haven’t seen anything else. (I could just not be seeing them idk). But she doesn’t really go out, or post pictures of herself hanging out with other girls while having fun. Does she view other women as competition?