u/h_424

I went for my eye test a few days ago and I got my new prescription. The cheapest glasses they could offer me was £150 which includes photochromics (turns dark in sunlight). I usually never go for this however last year I went Pakistan to attend a few family functions and bought myself prescription glasses with anti glare and photochromics for £5 and realised I now can't live without this feature since it's so handy.

The cheapest one I have seen is on glassesdirect for around £45 for each pair.(Including NHS and student discounts) I was wondering has anyone ordered from glassesdirect or if anyone recommends any other websites it would be much appreciated.

I bought my s24U I'd say in June and it's been working perfectly. But recently I noticed the usb only works one way and it shows up as normal charging and not superfast charging 2.0 which is weird because it was showing up all this time and now randomly it does not. I am using the original charging brick and cable and I bought a new cable (Anker 100w cable) to test it and still the same thing. Does anyone know what the problem could be?

I have tried

Cleaning the port with a toothpick

Switching adapters aka ankers 100w brick

Switching cable to a new one

Still the same thing. Rarely I will get super fast charging shown up otherwise it's just the normal charging speed I get. Does anyone know why this happens and how to fix it?

Edit: my tab S9+ perfectly recognises super fast charging 2.0

I am someone who's extremely ambitious and I fear if I get married I would have to end up in a dilemma of picking my wife or my ambitions. So if there are any ambitious men out there what is your relationship with your wife like?

I also wanted to ask. This may be abit too deep for this sub but I was sexually abused as a child by a woman. If any men have been through anything similar how did it affect your marriage in terms of being intimate and just general being close next to a woman?

I'm 21 currently going through therapy to get rid of the trauma because don't want my future wife to deal with my problems.

Even though my sexual abuse as a child did not include penetration am I able to require for my future wife to be a virgin? Or is it I am seen as someone who has commited zina?

I had my talking therapies today first time I've sought help via the NHS. It was an introductory first session I have my first actual session next week. I asked her the question if she would be able to diagnose me with anxiety disorder she said she can't because she's a therapist. Which I understand because she's not claimed in it. But when I first sought help via the NHS my doctor said I would be referred to secondary care where I'd be able to speak to a clinical psychologist.

The reason on why I want a diagnosis so bad (if I do actually have it) it's so I can show it to my university where I would be able to get reasonable adjustments. And for my own piece of mind because I don't want to self diagnose and assume I have an disorder I start treating it such as different techniques when in reality I do not have this disorder at all.

My therapist recommended I go back to my GP to ask about diagnosis etc. As she can't diagnose me with anything as her role is a therapist which I completely understand.

So who would I go to get diagnosed for things like PTSD and anxiety disorder?

Looking for resources to learn the content for both of these exams so i can pass them.

I am currently redecorating my bedroom. I was thinking of painting the room Dulux buttermilk to give that rich hotel room vibe. But I feel it might be abit too yellow. My room as lots of angles and it has a small bedroom window so light is scarce.

I was thinking of painting it all white but since I work in a hospital I don't want my bedroom to remind me of a clinical room 😭. I want a golden colour not too yellow and not dark. Or any other colour which would make the room bright. My mum was asking if I wanted to do it baby blue but it seems like baby boy blue type of room then.

I will also be putting a small desk so I can do my meetings and work on it aswell.

Any suggestions on room colour?

TW: Possible mention of CSA and Suicide

A few months ago I was on the phone to talking therapies telling them about my situation I was experiencing psychogenic vomiting at a specific time every day. Which led my GP to refer me to therapies after I told him about my CSA and how no one knows. I had a really bad sleep schedule so he put me on Promethazine. He was advocating to put me on SSRI but I personally did not want to go on them unless I was reviewed by a psychologist first which he said was fine and understandable. (NHS has been in the bad light lately about GP's prescribing SSRI willy nilly).

A week later I got a phone call back telling me I will be referred to HI-CBT I did mention in my initial call I did have CBT which helped me alot but I did go CBT 2x and I did mention they did feel like they were short time fixes. Next week I am going to phone talking therapies anyways I made a GP appointment regarding my intense nightmares (waking up 4 to 5x in a night) he recommended I speak to talking therapies because there's nothing else he can do from his end unless I ask talking therapies about this first.

I don't know I feel abit skeptical about HI CBT. I fear it would just be a temporary fix and I'll eventually end up in the same space again. I am seen as "high performing" so despite all of these things i don't let it affect the way I work, I show up for people, make sure I'm smiling Infront them.

For context I'm going through symptoms such as: hypervigilance,nightmares,flashbacks,intense dreams, insomnia (promethazine has partly fixed this), anxiety about the future, thoughts about how much my mental health has made me stagnant during university, possible hypersexuality and engaging in risky behaviours.

I have also been referred to an autism assessment so I'm currently waiting on that aswell.

Should I mention in my phone call about my suspicions around HI-CBT?

I am someone who's extremely ambitious and I fear if I get married I would have to end up in a dilemma of picking my wife or my ambitions. So if there are any ambitious men out there what is your relationship with your wife like?

I also wanted to ask. This may be abit too deep for this sub but I was sexually abused as a child by a woman. If any men have been through anything similar how did it affect your marriage in terms of being intimate and just general being close next to a woman? I'm 21 currently going through therapy to get rid of the trauma because I don't want my future wife to deal with my problems.

I was thinking about a scenario that happened to me a few months ago where I dropped a colleague off at her house. It was a 20 minute drive and it was near my house so I didn't mind. When I dropped her off she invited me into other house numerous times which I said no because I had work the next day. Also because I just assume it's common courtesy to invite someone in your house for a drink (well in my culture it is). I was telling a person and apparently they were saying it was her way for trying to shoot her shot?

I mean is that really shooting your shot. I thought it was common manners to invite someone in for a drink. So I always viewed it as that.

Trigger warning: mention of child sexual abuse

I am currently waiting on a therapist but in the meantime I want to read books to help me heal or enlighten me. I end up saying awake till 8am due to this trauma.

I want a non fiction book which focuses on boys trauma specifically by a woman. As it would relate to my situation therefore making it easier to understand.

I have read the body keeps score and it's my favourite book. Was wondering if there's any more out there.

Or if there's any fiction books I don't mind reading them aswell.

I was on the phone to my doctor yesterday and he said he would be more than happy to refer me to be screened for autism. For context I had a suspicion I may have autism so I documented my behaviours for a few months sent them off in a letter to my GP. He said I could either be put on the waiting list or I could go through right to choose however I was not sent a link to right to choose?

Would I just pick a company and just phone my GP again to refer me to this company?

Also I have some symptoms which may indicate I may have ADHD aswell however my doctor specifically said he would refer me for an autism assessment. Would the assessments pick up that I have traits of adhd or would I need to have a different referral for that?

When I look at my NHS ICB board some specifically have autism assessment only and not adhd. Could I go ahead and pick the autism only company or would I need to pick an autism and ADHD company so they can screen me for ADHD aswell?

Another question is which providers do competely remote assessments?

I was on the phone to my doctor yesterday and he said he would be more than happy to refer me to be screened for autism. For context I had a suspicion I may have autism so I documented my behaviours for a few months sent them off in a letter to my GP. He said I could either be put on the waiting list or I could go through right to choose however I was not sent a link to right to choose?

Would I just pick a company and just phone my GP again to refer me to this company?

Also I have some symptoms which may indicate I may have ADHD aswell however my doctor specifically said he would refer me for an autism assessment. Would the assessments pick up that I have traits of adhd or would I need to have a different referral for that?

When I look at my NHS ICB board some specifically have autism assessment only and not adhd. Could I go ahead and pick the autism only company or would I need to pick an autism and ADHD company so they can screen me for ADHD aswell?

On Thursday at 12:07pm I was driving on the roundabout in the middle lane I realised I was in the wrong lane and indicated left the car in the other lane slowed to down to let me go in that lane. I checked everything and it clear as I went to go into that lane this white car came zooming around.

So as I exited the roundabout to the motorway slip road just before exiting my left side bumper scrapes her right side wheel arch bumper side.

Her damage was a scuff whilst my bumper was pulled out with a scuff and a damaged headlight bracket.

We exchanged details and I documented everything. I notified insurance the next day they said it would probably be 50/50 from the account I have told them.

Could I claim on HER insurance to cover 50% of my damages? I have no one to give me guidance because no one in family drive or have been in an accident in a roundabout.

I was thinking of contacting her insurance on Monday telling them what happened etc and see if they cover 50% of my damages.

I have given the other party until Monday to give me a call to settle this privately. (Insurance said this is one of the options I can do) Then if not I'll claim on her insurance.

Am I doing this correctly? what things should I look out for? Any advice would be much appreciated.

Some men are attracted to chubby or larger women (e.g. BBW). Is there an equivalent preference many women have for larger men?

I have spoken to some women they do say they like a chubbier man because they can lay down their head in a soft snuggly chest compared to a boney or muscular one but is that it?

Today I was driving on the roundabout which one of the exits takes me to the MWay. I indicated to exit where all the cars slowed down to let me take my exit ofc. However one woman carried on going round on the outside lane so as I exited the roundabout her car came Infront causing it to touch. I took a picture of her rear bumper which just has paint transfer whilst my front bumper has paint transfer and looks like broken brackets.

I took her insurance details down and she took mine down however I did not get her number. But she took mine down.

How would I claim on her insurance. I've never done this before so what do I do.

Do I let my insurance know what happened and tell them I want to claim on their insurance?

I took photos of her driving licence and her reg plate along with her damage.

What do I do now?

I probably have strong opinions on it because I was a victim of SA.

I'm a guy but when I heard that haunting Adeline is basically a book that romanticises R*pe I was immediately repulsed by it. And now it's being turned into a movie so many women in comments section are defending this movie arguing it highlights trafficking and some women literally say it's in a dark romance book so it's okay.

I'm interested in everyones opinions regarding this.

For context not even my own family know this story the only person who knows is my first therapist which was in 2024. I am 21 now.

I can't remember the exact age id say I was around 6 to 9 years old probably even 11. I was sexually abused by a female family friend who was older than me she was I believe around 5 years older than me. All I know that she was developed enough to have boobs and could orgasm.

I used to go over to sleepovers at my grandma's house and she would often be there. She actually took alot of care of me despite what she done treated me like her younger brother.

My grandma used to sleep in the same bed as us which us not an issue she used to tell us lovely bed time stories. However when my grandma used to go and pray we often played guess what you are drawing on my back which was fine. However she'd play let's guess the body part and one time she put my hand in her vagina I can't remember how exactly old I was at that time but I could open my whole hand in her vagina so my hands were pretty small. She'd use it to masturbate herself off and when she'd come she used to move my hand and go downstairs to wash herself. And she'd show me her pants and be look what you made me do you made me ruin my pants.

Then when my grandma was done praying she'd come back in the bed and we'd all go sleep.

This used to happen frequently.

She'd also make me apply vaseline to her vagina make me rub her mound. And kiss me she'd tell me to lick my lips in order to get it wet and kiss me.

She also used to introduce me to adult content whenever my grandma used to go the toilet my grandfather would be upstairs sleeping she used to make me sit next to her and watch babe station (adult TV channels) and when we would go upstairs and my grandma would go to pray she'd ask me stuff like did you like what you saw etc and she'd put my hand on her chest and be like "this is how they feel" lightly pinch my nipple's etc.

One time she had poo in her hands and she showed me and I told my grandma and my grandma said "no she's older she would never do anything like that" which made me realise no one would believe me.

After a while this went on one of the events she asked me do you want to stop this and I said yes and she stopped. She turned off the adult channel and when my grandma went to pray she didn't do anything. I was so accustomed to it I felt like I said something wrong and I shouldve said no.

Fast forward to when I was 12 I messaged her on snapchat confronting her she ended up removing me and blocking me off Snapchat. She said If anyone found out I would be in big trouble. She was well integrated into the family so I see her at all the family events. I asked her why she removed me off Snapchat and she added me back.

When I was 14,15 I realised what happened to me was not normal and I became suicidal and planned on committing it.

Fast forward to 2024 I am in second year university planning to get my grades up because first year was not the best. And all of a sudden all those years of trauma I supressed and did not tell anyone all came out. I become angry, suicidal and entered deep dark depressive episodes and I was in university where they had student mental wellbeing services and this lady passed me a squishy toy and said you look stressed have one. Which then I asked her if the uni offered free therapy which she replied yes. I remember being so shaken after asking this it was the first time I asked for help. I come from an emotionally unavailable and immature family feelings are not openly spoken about.

Throughout 2025 until June I went to counselling but I was not able to process my emotions I am literally telling you all my experience and I don't have any emotion to it.

After one of the sessions I decided to confront my perpetrator all I wanted was an apology. I mentioned to her someone told me children who do this to other children often experienced it themselves so I asked if anyone has done anything to her. She told me she does not want to speak about it.

When my therapist told me about this phenomena I thought I would forgive my perpetrator as long as she admits what happened.

I asked 4x and 4x she refused to admit what happened and what she done to me. Until the 5th time she said yes I done that to you and it's in the past. And she said are you angry with me.

From then I decided I don't know why I bothered looking for an apology because each time she rejected my experience made me feel crazy and unheard.

I see her at family events now and I am able to dissociate that event from her mostly because I know other people are around. It does keep me up at night.

Also If you have read this far down this "family friend" is not actually my family friend she's rather more closely related to me. I chose not to mention what relationship I had with her incase this ever gets out in the open.

I am currently healing myself by going therapy however it has broken me I am in a limbo of being hypersexual and being adverse.

I was speaking to a colleague she was older than me I'd guess around 29 and she was telling me how she had this perception of boys how they are easier to raise and generally aren't clingy. Whereas her son is clingy. She said she also noticed how societal norms affects her child and puts pressure on him to be like xyz or have certain qualities. She said it made her realise what struggles boys go through.

Women who have dated/married men or gave birth to a boy what are things you learnt which you didn't know before?

I was wondering if there is Any blue light discounts regarding eye tests as I have one coming up soon does anyone know?

I havent applied for BLC yet as I was hoping to apply later down the year. But if there is a discount for eye tests etc I'll go ahead and create one now.

Just off the phone to virgin media currently paying £54 a month for m500 speed and landline weekends only. Transferred to customer relations team they told me the cheapest broadband is actually coming up higher at £58 per month(M350). So it's best if we stay on the same package.

Is there a way to lower this?

Paying £54 a month and in April 2027 it would go up to around £58 a month until the contract ends in September 2027.

EDIT: package was reduced to £40 a month which my parents are happy with as they said they used to pay this for a few years.

When the contract finishes I'll try persuading them to the gig1 deal but I did ask them they said they were fine with m350 as it meets everyones needs.