When I see someone on tv or real life achieve something and get celebrated and then their partner cheers for them and hugs them and kisses them and says they’re proud of them, it makes me upset to think if I was in that position no one would be there for me. Every time I see it, it makes me get so upset and my chest aches realising I wouldn’t get that.
When I see someone on tv or real life achieve something and get celebrated and then their partner cheers for them and hugs them and kisses them and says they’re proud of them, it makes me upset to think if I was in that position no one would be there for me. Every time I see it, it makes me get so upset and my chest aches realising I wouldn’t get that. When I see someone on tv or real life achieve something and get celebrated and then their partner cheers for them and hugs them and kisses them and says they’re proud of them, it makes me upset to think if I was in that position no one would be there for me. Every time I see it, it makes me get so upset and my chest aches realising I wouldn’t get that.
I fear I’m a bit of a Gomez. I care deeply, will do anything for my friends. I’m funny, kind, smart. I’m looking for someone to match my spark, thoughtful, considerate, unique. Any ideas of where to start?
I fear I’m a bit of a Gomez. I care deeply, will do anything for my friends. I’m funny, kind, smart. I’m looking for someone to match my spark, thoughtful, considerate, unique. Any ideas of where to start?
I fear I’m a bit of a Gomez. I care deeply, will do anything for my friends. I’m funny, kind, smart. I’m looking for someone to match my spark, thoughtful, considerate, unique. Any ideas of where to start?
I fear I’m a bit of a Gomez. I care deeply, will do anything for my friends. I’m funny, kind, smart. I’m looking for someone to match my spark, thoughtful, considerate, unique. Any ideas of where to start?
I’m scared I’ll never be held or cuddled or kissed or make love or be helped when I’m sick or get to hold someone’s hand or get to kiss someone’s cheek when I come home from work or get to plan a valentines date or have someone want to celebrate with me or have someone say I choose you.
I feel like I’m going crazy. Im a very rational, science, fact based person, so I believe there is a rational explanation for all of this.
Here’s just some examples:
- Walking down a wide street on campus. See a cricket stood on a windowsill, red black and white. A man and a kid were walking down this street in my direction. Looked down to look at it no more than 4 seconds. Looked back up and the man and kid were gone. I went to where they were and these was nowhere they could have gone. All buildings were closed for weekend, all turn offs/streets were a distance away so unless they suddenly ran I would have seen them when I looked up.
- At a park I saw a kid coming down the stairs, I stepped aside, thinking he would come rushing through but then he never did. I looked back up the stairs and there was no kid and no sound of a kid. Perhaps he just ran back up the stairs but when i thought about it I realised he seemed blurry and i couldn’t make out everything about him. There was likely no kid.
- heard parent coming home from work, keys clanking, talking, door opening etc, only to look up after a few minutes, not see them, ask other parents if they were back and they weren’t. Then they came in as normal.
- Seeing shadows moving corner of eyes.
- Brain telling me there’s something there when there isn’t.
- Flashes such as seeing a flash of someone at the dinner table and found a picture later that day using dowsing rods of great grandad who it looked like.
- Sleep paralysis - seen things, dogs, hooded people, etc
- Woken up to see smiling thing in cupboard above wardrobe, severed head that smiled at me and floated away, etc, could move so not sleep paralysis.
- Nightmares - very vivid nightmares and dreams, trouble sleeping, dreams where i know it’s a dream and I can’t get out.
- Hearing music/talking in the distance when no one else can.
- Tuning in to talking and then it’s gone, like at a spring in a graveyard, no one nearby.
- Heard whistling outside my window 3am, sounded human in rhythm and sound. Opened the window and it stopped. No birds or wind. Grandad used to whistle when he was angry when he walked up the old farm track. Picturing it, I saw the whistling coming from the house gate which is where the track used to be. Turns out that night grandma went to hospital from the house down the old track. Uncle didn’t tell mum and we found out days later. Speculated that grandad wasn’t happy and whistled up the track and i heard it.
- Falling asleep hear name or word in ear (explained phenomenon?)
- Feeling like someone or something is watching me.
- Feel random, intense bursts of air like someone passing by me in family house. andom cold moments on a night.
- Would say something would happen, don’t trust someone, someone would break something, etc, then it would happen (but that’s pattern recognition). But times like when i won a football stress ball and handed it to my dad and he asked if today would be a stressful day and i said perhaps as a joke, then he got a phone call about a family member having cancer.
- Dreams - dreamt of broken tumble drier, mum told me 2 days later it was broken, dreams like that.
- Dowsing rods working.
- Started using trinkets and runes to cast answers to questions. Done 20+ and haven’t been wrong yet.
- Intense Déjà vu where it feels like everything is exactly as it was and then dread of something bad happening, then i stop what im doing and nothing bad happens.
- Done witchcraft/spells that worked, odd?
- Wished something to happen to someone on a whim and its happened within minutes or instantly (feels a bit cherry picked).
So i did research into faeries:
Was going to be named Faye - Spoken multiple times during pregnancy.
Unusual activity - uncanny insight, mature, intelligent beyond years, not typical baby talk or actions or emotions
ghost incidents, seeing dead, whistling, breezes
future telling, uncanny insight, telling the future with trinkets.
Sensitivity to spirit world.
Hagstone affinity.
Fairy coin on beach.
Yearning and connection to nature.
“An innate tendency to cause accidental misfortune” - every time I got home to my parents.
“In fae lore, speaking a desire aloud and having the universe immediately deliver it, followed by a repeating pattern, is a classic sign of thin boundaries between you and the Fair Folk.” - I asked once to see a hare and ever since then I have seen hares every time i go home to my parents house.
vivid dreams
Being inexplicably lucky or unlucky repeatedly
A fascination with old standing stones, barrows or ancient ruins
Second sight
Unusual intuition - the dread events
Feeling different from childhood
Attraction to lonely, nature places
Sensitivity to spirits
Seeing things out of the corner of your eye
Fairy ring - been in them at grandma garden, apparently enjoyed dancing in them
Keep finding odd things, rings under sofas that belong to no one, 10+ 5p pieces for days on end around the city, incredibly enticing things like random trinkets or shiny rocks just waiting on the pavement or beach.
I know some of these are vague, but the list would be huge if I detailed everything. Im happy to elaborate in the replies. All of these aren’t one off and have happened multiple times over my life. This is just what i could remember off the top of my head, but I’ll try and think of more.
Any thoughts? I would appreciate any insight from people more knowledgeable on the topic :)
I feel like I’m going crazy. Im a very rational, science, fact based person, so I believe there is a rational explanation for all of this.
Here’s just some examples:
- Walking down a wide street on campus. See a cricket stood on a windowsill, red black and white. A man and a kid were walking down this street in my direction. Looked down to look at it no more than 4 seconds. Looked back up and the man and kid were gone. I went to where they were and these was nowhere they could have gone. All buildings were closed for weekend, all turn offs/streets were a distance away so unless they suddenly ran I would have seen them when I looked up.
- At a park I saw a kid coming down the stairs, I stepped aside, thinking he would come rushing through but then he never did. I looked back up the stairs and there was no kid and no sound of a kid. Perhaps he just ran back up the stairs but when i thought about it I realised he seemed blurry and i couldn’t make out everything about him. There was likely no kid.
- heard parent coming home from work, keys clanking, talking, door opening etc, only to look up after a few minutes, not see them, ask other parents if they were back and they weren’t. Then they came in as normal.
- Seeing shadows moving corner of eyes.
- Brain telling me there’s something there when there isn’t.
- Flashes such as seeing a flash of someone at the dinner table and found a picture later that day using dowsing rods of great grandad who it looked like.
- Sleep paralysis - seen things, dogs, hooded people, etc
- Woken up to see smiling thing in cupboard above wardrobe, severed head that smiled at me and floated away, etc, could move so not sleep paralysis.
- Nightmares - very vivid nightmares and dreams, trouble sleeping, dreams where i know it’s a dream and I can’t get out.
- Hearing music/talking in the distance when no one else can.
- Tuning in to talking and then it’s gone, like at a spring in a graveyard, no one nearby.
- Heard whistling outside my window 3am, sounded human in rhythm and sound. Opened the window and it stopped. No birds or wind. Grandad used to whistle when he was angry when he walked up the old farm track. Picturing it, I saw the whistling coming from the house gate which is where the track used to be. Turns out that night grandma went to hospital from the house down the old track. Uncle didn’t tell mum and we found out days later. Speculated that grandad wasn’t happy and whistled up the track and i heard it.
- Falling asleep hear name or word in ear (explained phenomenon?)
- Feeling like someone or something is watching me.
- Feel random, intense bursts of air like someone passing by me in family house. andom cold moments on a night.
- Would say something would happen, don’t trust someone, someone would break something, etc, then it would happen (but that’s pattern recognition). But times like when i won a football stress ball and handed it to my dad and he asked if today would be a stressful day and i said perhaps as a joke, then he got a phone call about a family member having cancer.
- Dreams - dreamt of broken tumble drier, mum told me 2 days later it was broken, dreams like that.
- Dowsing rods working.
- Started using trinkets and runes to cast answers to questions. Done 20+ and haven’t been wrong yet.
- Intense Déjà vu where it feels like everything is exactly as it was and then dread of something bad happening, then i stop what im doing and nothing bad happens.
- Done witchcraft/spells that worked, odd?
- Wished something to happen to someone on a whim and its happened within minutes or instantly (feels a bit cherry picked).
So i did research into faeries:
Was going to be named Faye - Spoken multiple times during pregnancy.
Unusual activity - uncanny insight, mature, intelligent beyond years, not typical baby talk or actions or emotions
ghost incidents, seeing dead, whistling, breezes
future telling, uncanny insight, telling the future with trinkets.
Sensitivity to spirit world.
Hagstone affinity.
Fairy coin on beach.
Yearning and connection to nature.
“An innate tendency to cause accidental misfortune” - every time I got home to my parents.
“In fae lore, speaking a desire aloud and having the universe immediately deliver it, followed by a repeating pattern, is a classic sign of thin boundaries between you and the Fair Folk.” - I asked once to see a hare and ever since then I have seen hares every time i go home to my parents house.
vivid dreams
Being inexplicably lucky or unlucky repeatedly
A fascination with old standing stones, barrows or ancient ruins
Second sight
Unusual intuition - the dread events
Feeling different from childhood
Attraction to lonely, nature places
Sensitivity to spirits
Seeing things out of the corner of your eye
Fairy ring - been in them at grandma garden, apparently enjoyed dancing in them
Keep finding odd things, rings under sofas that belong to no one, 10+ 5p pieces for days on end around the city, incredibly enticing things like random trinkets or shiny rocks just waiting on the pavement or beach.
I know some of these are vague, but the list would be huge if I detailed everything. Im happy to elaborate in the replies. All of these aren’t one off and have happened multiple times over my life. This is just what i could remember off the top of my head, but I’ll try and think of more.
Any thoughts? I would appreciate any insight from people more knowledgeable on the topic :)
I feel like I’m going crazy. Im a very rational, science, fact based person, so I believe there is a rational explanation for all of this.
Here’s just some examples:
- Walking down a wide street on campus. See a cricket stood on a windowsill, red black and white. A man and a kid were walking down this street in my direction. Looked down to look at it no more than 4 seconds. Looked back up and the man and kid were gone. I went to where they were and these was nowhere they could have gone. All buildings were closed for weekend, all turn offs/streets were a distance away so unless they suddenly ran I would have seen them when I looked up.
- At a park I saw a kid coming down the stairs, I stepped aside, thinking he would come rushing through but then he never did. I looked back up the stairs and there was no kid and no sound of a kid. Perhaps he just ran back up the stairs but when i thought about it I realised he seemed blurry and i couldn’t make out everything about him. There was likely no kid.
- heard parent coming home from work, keys clanking, talking, door opening etc, only to look up after a few minutes, not see them, ask other parents if they were back and they weren’t. Then they came in as normal.
- Seeing shadows moving corner of eyes.
- Brain telling me there’s something there when there isn’t.
- Flashes such as seeing a flash of someone at the dinner table and found a picture later that day using dowsing rods of great grandad who it looked like.
- Sleep paralysis - seen things, dogs, hooded people, etc
- Woken up to see smiling thing in cupboard above wardrobe, severed head that smiled at me and floated away, etc, could move so not sleep paralysis.
- Nightmares - very vivid nightmares and dreams, trouble sleeping, dreams where i know it’s a dream and I can’t get out.
- Hearing music/talking in the distance when no one else can.
- Tuning in to talking and then it’s gone, like at a spring in a graveyard, no one nearby.
- Heard whistling outside my window 3am, sounded human in rhythm and sound. Opened the window and it stopped. No birds or wind. Grandad used to whistle when he was angry when he walked up the old farm track. Picturing it, I saw the whistling coming from the house gate which is where the track used to be. Turns out that night grandma went to hospital from the house down the old track. Uncle didn’t tell mum and we found out days later. Speculated that grandad wasn’t happy and whistled up the track and i heard it.
- Falling asleep hear name or word in ear (explained phenomenon?)
- Feeling like someone or something is watching me.
- Feel random, intense bursts of air like someone passing by me in family house. andom cold moments on a night.
- Would say something would happen, don’t trust someone, someone would break something, etc, then it would happen (but that’s pattern recognition). But times like when i won a football stress ball and handed it to my dad and he asked if today would be a stressful day and i said perhaps as a joke, then he got a phone call about a family member having cancer.
- Dreams - dreamt of broken tumble drier, mum told me 2 days later it was broken, dreams like that.
- Dowsing rods working.
- Started using trinkets and runes to cast answers to questions. Done 20+ and haven’t been wrong yet.
- Intense Déjà vu where it feels like everything is exactly as it was and then dread of something bad happening, then i stop what im doing and nothing bad happens.
- Done witchcraft/spells that worked, odd?
- Wished something to happen to someone on a whim and its happened within minutes or instantly (feels a bit cherry picked).
I know some of these are vague, but the list would be huge if I detailed everything. Im happy to elaborate in the replies. All of these aren’t one off and have happened multiple times over my life. This is just what i could remember off the top of my head, but I’ll try and think of more.
Any thoughts?
(My family thinks im in tune with spirits, fairy touched or somehow gifted like that or something)
I feel like I’m going crazy. Im a very rational, science, fact based person, so I believe there is a rational explanation for all of this.
Here’s just some examples:
- Walking down a wide street on campus. See a cricket stood on a windowsill, red black and white. A man and a kid were walking down this street in my direction. Looked down to look at it no more than 4 seconds. Looked back up and the man and kid were gone. I went to where they were and these was nowhere they could have gone. All buildings were closed for weekend, all turn offs/streets were a distance away so unless they suddenly ran I would have seen them when I looked up.
- At a park I saw a kid coming down the stairs, I stepped aside, thinking he would come rushing through but then he never did. I looked back up the stairs and there was no kid and no sound of a kid. Perhaps he just ran back up the stairs but when i thought about it I realised he seemed blurry and i couldn’t make out everything about him. There was likely no kid.
- heard parent coming home from work, keys clanking, talking, door opening etc, only to look up after a few minutes, not see them, ask other parents if they were back and they weren’t. Then they came in as normal.
- Seeing shadows moving corner of eyes.
- Brain telling me there’s something there when there isn’t.
- Flashes such as seeing a flash of someone at the dinner table and found a picture later that day using dowsing rods of great grandad who it looked like.
- Sleep paralysis - seen things, dogs, hooded people, etc
- Woken up to see smiling thing in cupboard above wardrobe, severed head that smiled at me and floated away, etc, could move so not sleep paralysis.
- Nightmares - very vivid nightmares and dreams, trouble sleeping, dreams where i know it’s a dream and I can’t get out.
- Hearing music/talking in the distance when no one else can.
- Tuning in to talking and then it’s gone, like at a spring in a graveyard, no one nearby.
- Heard whistling outside my window 3am, sounded human in rhythm and sound. Opened the window and it stopped. No birds or wind. Grandad used to whistle when he was angry when he walked up the old farm track. Picturing it, I saw the whistling coming from the house gate which is where the track used to be. Turns out that night grandma went to hospital from the house down the old track. Uncle didn’t tell mum and we found out days later. Speculated that grandad wasn’t happy and whistled up the track and i heard it.
- Falling asleep hear name or word in ear (explained phenomenon?)
- Feeling like someone or something is watching me.
- Feel random, intense bursts of air like someone passing by me in family house. andom cold moments on a night.
- Would say something would happen, don’t trust someone, someone would break something, etc, then it would happen (but that’s pattern recognition). But times like when i won a football stress ball and handed it to my dad and he asked if today would be a stressful day and i said perhaps as a joke, then he got a phone call about a family member having cancer.
- Dreams - dreamt of broken tumble drier, mum told me 2 days later it was broken, dreams like that.
- Dowsing rods working.
- Started using trinkets and runes to cast answers to questions. Done 20+ and haven’t been wrong yet.
- Intense Déjà vu where it feels like everything is exactly as it was and then dread of something bad happening, then i stop what im doing and nothing bad happens.
- Done witchcraft/spells that worked, odd?
- Wished something to happen to someone on a whim and its happened within minutes or instantly (feels a bit cherry picked).
I know some of these are vague, but the list would be huge if I detailed everything. Im happy to elaborate in the replies. All of these aren’t one off and have happened multiple times over my life. This is just what i could remember off the top of my head, but I’ll try and think of more.
Any thoughts?
(My family thinks im in tune with spirits, fairy touched or somehow gifted like that or something)
I feel like I’m going crazy. Im a very rational, science, fact based person, so I believe there is a rational explanation for all of this.
Here’s just some examples:
- Walking down a wide street on campus. See a cricket stood on a windowsill, red black and white. A man and a kid were walking down this street in my direction. Looked down to look at it no more than 4 seconds. Looked back up and the man and kid were gone. I went to where they were and these was nowhere they could have gone. All buildings were closed for weekend, all turn offs/streets were a distance away so unless they suddenly ran I would have seen them when I looked up.
- At a park I saw a kid coming down the stairs, I stepped aside, thinking he would come rushing through but then he never did. I looked back up the stairs and there was no kid and no sound of a kid. Perhaps he just ran back up the stairs but when i thought about it I realised he seemed blurry and i couldn’t make out everything about him. There was likely no kid.
- heard parent coming home from work, keys clanking, talking, door opening etc, only to look up after a few minutes, not see them, ask other parents if they were back and they weren’t. Then they came in as normal.
- Seeing shadows moving corner of eyes.
- Brain telling me there’s something there when there isn’t.
- Flashes such as seeing a flash of someone at the dinner table and found a picture later that day using dowsing rods of great grandad who it looked like.
- Sleep paralysis - seen things, dogs, hooded people, etc
- Woken up to see smiling thing in cupboard above wardrobe, severed head that smiled at me and floated away, etc, could move so not sleep paralysis.
- Nightmares - very vivid nightmares and dreams, trouble sleeping, dreams where i know it’s a dream and I can’t get out.
- Hearing music/talking in the distance when no one else can.
- Tuning in to talking and then it’s gone, like at a spring in a graveyard, no one nearby.
- Heard whistling outside my window 3am, sounded human in rhythm and sound. Opened the window and it stopped. No birds or wind. Grandad used to whistle when he was angry when he walked up the old farm track. Picturing it, I saw the whistling coming from the house gate which is where the track used to be. Turns out that night grandma went to hospital from the house down the old track. Uncle didn’t tell mum and we found out days later. Speculated that grandad wasn’t happy and whistled up the track and i heard it.
- Falling asleep hear name or word in ear (explained phenomenon?)
- Feeling like someone or something is watching me.
- Feel random, intense bursts of air like someone passing by me in family house. andom cold moments on a night.
- Would say something would happen, don’t trust someone, someone would break something, etc, then it would happen (but that’s pattern recognition). But times like when i won a football stress ball and handed it to my dad and he asked if today would be a stressful day and i said perhaps as a joke, then he got a phone call about a family member having cancer.
- Dreams - dreamt of broken tumble drier, mum told me 2 days later it was broken, dreams like that.
- Dowsing rods working.
- Started using trinkets and runes to cast answers to questions. Done 20+ and haven’t been wrong yet.
- Intense Déjà vu where it feels like everything is exactly as it was and then dread of something bad happening, then i stop what im doing and nothing bad happens.
- Done witchcraft/spells that worked, odd?
- Wished something to happen to someone on a whim and its happened within minutes or instantly (feels a bit cherry picked).
I know some of these are vague, but the list would be huge if I detailed everything. Im happy to elaborate in the replies. All of these aren’t one off and have happened multiple times over my life. This is just what i could remember off the top of my head, but I’ll try and think of more.
Any thoughts?
I’ve never had a relationship and I feel like it’ll never happen. Im in CBT and I’ve tried therapy before (twice it didn’t help and was so disappointing it was almost funny). I can feel myself slipping back into a depressive slump. I have so much going for me but the thought of doing another graduation or birthday or having bad news and having no one there beside me makes life almost feel not worth living. Im looking for any reason to keep going. I know for myself should be enough, but I don’t know how many more times I can look to the space beside me and see no one there.
I know I should live for myself, but l've been doing that. But I wish I had someone to share my life with. Im tired of singing myself happy birthday, having to go everywhere alone, do everything alone. Im scared of walking across the stage at my next graduation and having no one filming me. I am living for myself every day, but I wish I had someone to share it with. Im scared of having another death in my life and having to mourn alone. My main frustration is that everything is better with someone beside you. I'm about to organise a trip to London and I'm so excited to finally see the museums and the libraries, but knowing that I will have no one to experience and enjoy these things with and no one to tell about my trip, it puts a dampener on this and anything I try to do alone.
I know I should live for myself, but I’ve been doing that. But I wish I had someone to share my life with. Im tired of singing myself happy birthday, having to go everywhere alone, do everything alone. Im scared of walking across the stage at my next graduation and having no one filming me. I am living for myself every day, but I wish I had someone to share it with. Im scared of having another death in my life and having to mourn alone. My main frustration is that everything is better with someone beside you. I’m about to organise a trip to London and I’m so excited to finally see the museums and the libraries, but knowing that I will have no one to experience and enjoy these things with and no one to tell about my trip, it puts a dampener on this and anything I try to do alone.
I (25F) have really struggled with relationships (autistic and masc lesbian) and my family are not close. I have friends, but no close friends now because they’ve all moved away. I can go weeks without speaking to someone and everyone I know has a more important person. Even the people i do speak to, like my sister has a boyfriend, my friends all have best friends. I feel like I could disappear and people would notice, but no one would care. Maybe at my sports clubs or lectures, my friends would ask “hey, I wonder where X is?” But I don’t think anyone would come looking for me. And if something did happen to me, no one would come weep over me, they’d turn to their closer person and turn to them for support. I understand that’s how life is, but I want to matter to someone. Maybe it’s selfish to say that I want someone to miss me if I was gone. I want to be someone’s someone. I want someone to celebrate with me and help me through my lows. I have so much love to give and no one wants it. Sometimes I dream of running away and leaving everything behind, just to see if anyone will reach out and ask about me. I just want to matter to someone.
I haven’t been hugged in years and I’ve never had a proper “I love you”/“I miss you” arms wrapped around hug. I crave physical touch. I was rarely held or hugged or touched at all by my parents as a child and I really struggle with relationships (im an autistic masc lesbian). I’ve been craving a hug for years, to the point my throat goes tight and my chest and back ache and my eyes grow damp. I genuinely don’t know what to do at this point. I’ve tried all the tricks of pets and stuffed coats and pillows, but it is not the same as human touch. I don’t want a massage or something, I want someone to hug me and mean it. I want to feel like they would miss me. I just want one so bad and I feel like at this point (25) I’ll never get what I have been yearning for.
I haven’t been hugged in years and I’ve never had a proper “I love you”/“I miss you” arms wrapped around hug. I crave physical touch. I was rarely held or hugged or touched at all by my parents as a child and I really struggle with relationships (im an autistic masc lesbian). I’ve been craving a hug for years, to the point my throat goes tight and my chest and back ache and my eyes grow damp. I genuinely don’t know what to do at this point. I’ve tried all the tricks of pets and stuffed coats and pillows, but it is not the same as human touch. I just want one so bad and I feel like at this point (25) I’ll never get what I have been yearning for.
So, long story short, I (25 F masc) matched with a lady (24 F femme) on hinge. I'm a masc lesbian and I've never been asked on a date, I always have to do the asking. Maybe it's the heteronormative society, I don't know. Well I ask her on a date after some chatting and she agrees, excited, all good. Only for her to disappear the week of the upcoming date. We found each other again on another app the next day and turns out her account got banned so we then started chatting on Instagram instead. This isn't a scam or anything so dw about that. Just now the conversations are getting a bit boring when I don't know the person very well, like we're just chatting for the sake of chatting, when I'd really like to go on a date with her.
My dilemma is to do with asking her on another date. As I said, I'm always the one asking the other person on a date. And sometimes I ask someone on a date, and then they're busy but don't rearrange, so then I have to rearrange it. Maybe it's a hint they didn't want to go? Then why didn't they just say that? I feel like im sometimes throwing ideas at a wall and hoping something sticks, rather than the person with more commitments (for example) offering a suggestion.
So with this person now, we were meant to go on a date, didn't go ahead because she got banned and I thought she ghosted me, now we're talking again and she seems really nice but I'm not sure if I can be bothered/how to ask her on another date? I do really like her, so it's silly, but I'm tired of having to do the asking. I feel like I'm always the one putting my head on the line and risking the rejection (I have autism so I get stressed already because I don't fully get social cues and standards) when I don't understand why others won't do the same for me?
With my friends, if we made plans that I initiated and then they had to cancel, they'd apology and offer an alternative they can do? So I don't understand why this is any different? It just gets really frustrating. I'm also concerned these may be suggestions of just what the person is like? Will they never ask me on a date or never initiate anything? I wouldn't enjoy that. I am open with communication and honest, so this is the kind of thing you would discuss with a partner, definitely, but not with someone you have barely met. Maybe a few dates in or actually in a relationship I would be able to discuss this whole wanting to be asked out/not wanting to throw plans at a wall and hope one sticks. But, additionally, I would like to date someone who wants to go on dates with me, not just them going along because I asked? I do have a general problem around having to do everything myself, which I am working on, but that comes from repeatedly getting let down or knowing if I don't do it it'll never get done. I want someone who wants to date me and doesn't mind splitting responsibilities or plans. That's its own problem, but I definitely think it's a factor in my frustration here.
So, I just need some advice on what to do now. I don't know how to ask her out again, especially considering we made plans that I initiated (ie saying | liked her and would like to go on a date with her) and then problems on her end and then when we met online again, she didn't even bring up replanning the date. Maybe she's waiting for me to do it? I feel like it would be way less awkward for her to say "hey, so when are we replanning this date for? I was looking forward to it" than me saying I know I asked you out once already and that plan fell through, so I'm going to ask again?
Idk it's so odd. Any advice? Also, this whole wanting to be asked on dates, is it dramatic? Is it a masc problem? Just a general society thing?
I appreciate any advice
So, long story short, I (25 F masc) matched with a lady (24 F femme) on hinge. I'm a masc lesbian and I've never been asked on a date, I always have to do the asking. Maybe it's the heteronormative society, I don't know. Well I ask her on a date after some chatting and she agrees, excited, all good. Only for her to disappear the week of the upcoming date. We found each other again on another app the next day and turns out her account got banned so we then started chatting on Instagram instead. This isn't a scam or anything so dw about that. Just now the conversations are getting a bit boring when I don't know the person very well, like we're just chatting for the sake of chatting, when I'd really like to go on a date with her.
My dilemma is to do with asking her on another date. As I said, I'm always the one asking the other person on a date. And sometimes I ask someone on a date, and then they're busy but don't rearrange, so then I have to rearrange it. Maybe it's a hint they didn't want to go? Then why didn't they just say that? I feel like im sometimes throwing ideas at a wall and hoping something sticks, rather than the person with more commitments (for example) offering a suggestion.
So with this person now, we were meant to go on a date, didn't go ahead because she got banned and I thought she ghosted me, now we're talking again and she seems really nice but I'm not sure if I can be bothered/how to ask her on another date? I do really like her, so it's silly, but I'm tired of having to do the asking. I feel like I'm always the one putting my head on the line and risking the rejection (I have autism so I get stressed already because I don't fully get social cues and standards) when I don't understand why others won't do the same for me?
With my friends, if we made plans that I initiated and then they had to cancel, they'd apology and offer an alternative they can do? So I don't understand why this is any different? It just gets really frustrating. I'm also concerned these may be suggestions of just what the person is like? Will they never ask me on a date or never initiate anything? I wouldn't enjoy that. I am open with communication and honest, so this is the kind of thing you would discuss with a partner, definitely, but not with someone you have barely met. Maybe a few dates in or actually in a relationship I would be able to discuss this whole wanting to be asked out/not wanting to throw plans at a wall and hope one sticks. But, additionally, I would like to date someone who wants to go on dates with me, not just them going along because I asked? I do have a general problem around having to do everything myself, which I am working on, but that comes from repeatedly getting let down or knowing if I don't do it it'll never get done. I want someone who wants to date me and doesn't mind splitting responsibilities or plans. That's its own problem, but I definitely think it's a factor in my frustration here.
So, I just need some advice on what to do now. I don't know how to ask her out again, especially considering we made plans that I initiated (ie saying | liked her and would like to go on a date with her) and then problems on her end and then when we met online again, she didn't even bring up replanning the date. Maybe she's waiting for me to do it? I feel like it would be way less awkward for her to say "hey, so when are we replanning this date for? I was looking forward to it" than me saying I know I asked you out once already and that plan fell through, so I'm going to ask again?
Idk it's so odd. Any advice? Also, this whole wanting to be asked on dates, is it dramatic? Is it a masc problem? Just a general society thing?
I appreciate any advice