u/Vampy-Night

Idk why but ever since I was little (in my late 20s now) speaking has been been hard for me.

It physically feels like my throat is constricting when i speak. Making it physically hard to speak. And when i do speak, i have a limited social timer. Then just stop talking or say 1 or 2 word answers

But when i am typing or writing, i have a way better time saying things. As you can see

Idk its just weird

This is a bit of a rant

I am trying my best to get a remote entry-level job. A job that I can do since I have pseudo seizures and possible autism (need to get tested for that when i have the money) Been searching for for over a year and a half now.

I am so tired. Both physically and mentally exhausted.

Been doing this 7 days a week for 6-9 hours.

Also been learning skills. I now know google sheets (still need to learn a bit of the more advanced stuff but know the main base)

You go to linkedin and find a job that looks reasonable, but then you go to glassdoor and search that company, to only find out that, that company doesn't actually f*cking exist.

And to top it all off. You are now competing against the world for a job because employers are now out sourcing like holy hell.

I then go to apply for minimum wage jobs because a job is better than no job

I am also looking at minimum wage jobs rn too because anything is better than nothing and not much better.

I'll apply and just get crickets.

OR i'll apply, go to or call the place to check the status to only find out that (drumroll please) they aren't actually hiring

I am losing my mind. I honestly don't know how much more i can take of this. I know that my health is deteriorating because of this. Barely getting any sleep most nights. I'm barely functioning. Going bald because of all the stress and lack of sleep

Getting a job shouldn't be this hard to get.

I'm about to give up

I have officially hit burnout. After over a year and a half of looking for jobs, I am burnout.

I am physically and mentally tired.

I am trying to look at remote work on Linkedin. Entry-leveled stuff like a booker or data entry. Stuff a person like me can do.

I have pseudo seizures caused by stress and POSSIBLY have autism (need to get the possible autism tested one day when I have the money)

I am also looking at minimum wage jobs rn too because anything is better than nothing and not much better.

I'll apply and just get crickets.

OR i'll apply, go to or call the place to check the status to only find out that (drumroll please) they aren't actually hiring

I am just so so so done with this.

Anything I can do to lessen the burnout?

Seriously. I've been on linkedin for over a year and half now looking for a job and see that most company's logos are awful. And it's getting worse by the day

A lot of companies use the most bland soulless logos ever on linkedin.

IDK if it's because of the small circle area where they can post their logo or what but by the gods they look awful

And most of the time it's the same colors black or navy blue

They choose the one logo that is the least visual appealing. No real color or design or anything.

"We are a law firm looking for a entry-level booker. Lets use the no Wi-Fi connection logo but in navy blue as our logo"

Stop. As a digital only person as well. Please stop

You aren't defending anything. We don't own our games. We can't share our games.

All that we can brag about is that we rent our games cheaper now with big sales (usually) like the steam summer sale and winter sale. That's it.

We aren't superior or anything.

"But its the future" yeah well so is Cyberpunk 2077 don't see me defending that now. Its a bad future. (and not as cool as cyberpunk, a boring cyberpunk) The future isn't always a good thing.

So get off your high horse

I tried to play male characters in games but have always struggled playing them. Even in my favorite games like Black Flag. I like Edward and all but it decreases my enjoyment. And is often a stuggle

And when it does come to rpgs I always pick a female character. It just feels natural and way more enjoyable. But also a weird thing comes is that i think sometimes, do i wanna play her or be her

Idk its weird because you would think as a man i would gravitate towards playing male characters and easy to play them, but nope, not for me

The more I research miss Lilith, the more primal she feels. And its not a bad thing.

But she seems to know more about humanity, than we humans know about humanity.

She seems like the goddess/demon that would likely tell you the truth about humanity, and tell you how we really are. And it won't be all good or moral. It's not all sunshine and rainbows. She's seen the very best of us but also the VERY worst.

But also seems to be the one that would acknowledge our darker aspects (not evil) and wants to embrace it. Because its what we are as humans. The aspects that we keep hidden from ourselves for whatever reason. Whether it societal norms or ourselves not wanting to accept ourselves

Thoughts?

The more I research miss Lilith, the more primal she feels. And its not a bad thing.

But she seems to know more about humanity, than we humans know about humanity.

She seems like the goddess/demon that would likely tell you the truth about humanity, and tell you how we really are. And it won't be all good or moral. It's not all sunshine and rainbows. She's seen the very best of us but also the VERY worst.

But also seems to be the one that would acknowledge our darker aspects (not evil) and wants to embrace it. Because its what we are as humans. The aspects that we keep hidden from ourselves for whatever reason. Whether it societal norms or ourselves not wanting to accept ourselves

Thoughts?

I'm just a sucker for dancer armor and the jewelry but refuse to give whoever is in charge of the game a dime now.

But I really haven't seen any mods for armor and stuff so far for enhanced.

Is there any mods that have similar armor and jewelry or nay?

That was your main genre for years?

For me, shooters

I played few. Halo 3 and Reach. And Cod black ops 1 and 2. But that's really it

I also played a tiny bit of GTA 5 when it was newer like just on console newer but like a hour max (wasn't my game)

But then i stopped for awhile

Also played RDR 2 a couple years ago but meh

But besides that never really played shooters after Black Ops 2

What about you?

I'm on Linkedin just searching for remote entry-leveled jobs. Nothing special. Just like data entry, receptionist, etc. Stuff a person who has pseudo seizures (and might have autism) can do

Newest development, jobs that are no longer accepting applications when they JUST listed that job 20 minutes ago

So not only do we have to deal with scams, ghosts, etc. We now have to deal with this crap!

I can't take it anymore. I am going literally insane. On this crappy website 6-9 hours a day because i have to. I have been doing this for about a year now.

And the thing is, i want to work. I need to work. But nada

I'm about to lose my sh*t .

How do i keep my cool?

It feels like I'm in the Twilight Zone

From people supporting a billion dollar company's decision to make a game 100 USD for BS reasons like inflation or whatever. Or a billion dollar company playing victim over ram and other computer components, so they bump up the price of machines

To people letting a Daemon Prince of Nurgle or some other influencer choose the game they play

To gaming content creators using gen Ai in their thumbnails

To people defending gen Ai in games

Its sad to see tbh

So the Vendhyan dlc is now over 100 USD

So despite the negative feedback, they still aren't listening and are still being greedy aholes

100+ dollars for a cosmetic dlc. This is just pure greed

I hate to say this but don't give this company anymore money. AT ALL

If you were thinking about buying Exiles, don't. Go buy another game

If you don't have siptah, save yourself and don't

Don't have all the dlcs, don't buy the rest and use mods

And for f*ck sake, don't buy ANYTHING from the bazaar shop because you will be part of the problem

Its the principle 

Instead of giving us new actual content they give us a over 100 usd cosmetic dlc

And cosmetic dlcs shouldn't be over 30 usd anyways

If you truly feel bad about prices of the bazaar store dlc costing 80+ usd, you need to vote with your wallet and stop giving the devs money.

Don't buy stuff from the bazaar store or anymore dlcs (if you don't have all of them already)

I see that some players have bought the dlc because i can see from the screenshots.

The devs aren't going to learn and make the game better if we are going to continue buying the items. Money talks with these devs, sadly.

They are just going to keep doing it if we don't stop

Mods are a beautiful thing