u/guessirs

Law and crime recently put up a surveillance video of an adult man at a gym following, harassing and assaulting a 14 year old CHILD and I was appalled. The comments were all terrible. Basically 85% of them were: blaming the parents of the child for “being allowed to go to a gym alone”, blaming the CHILD and saying sick shit like “well if she put some more clothes on” or “why didn’t she fight him?” Or “it’s her fault for being in a gym at 14”.

I went to my local fitness club starting at age 15. Many gyms allow this with a waiver. God forbid a teen try to get healthy in an environment that SHOULD be safe. They weren’t alone in that gym there were dozens of other people around (largely men from what the video shows) and not one steps in. The assaulter isn’t being subtle at all. He pressed her against a wall, followed her around. She even screamed at him to leave her alone.

And yet the comments seem to say that teen girls should just be sequestered away and if they’re in public and they’re harassed or assaulted it’s their fault. At 14-15 teens can get a job. When I was that age I was at malls and stores alone. Gym alone. I had a job. Honestly the whole comment section disgusted me.

Made a dumb decision at dinner and wasn’t thinking. Accidentally reused a plate that I’d put raw chicken on and now I’m like crashing out. Worried I have salmonella or E. coli or worse and I’m about the just have the worst week of my life :(

Health is my worst anxiety subtype. Whenever something happens (like this) I always always assume the worst. Immediately after I realized what I’d done I went “ah well I should put my affairs in order if I’m going to die from salmonella at 29”.

Trying the new receipt scan feature. But noticed I can’t find the matching transaction but ONLY on the app. The matching transactions appear on the web page. And on the webpage I can’t find the receipts tab to try to match receipt to transaction that way.

Is there a way to get to my unmatched receipts via the desktop page?

Lately for whatever reason I just cannot get myself to focus on work. I’ve tried the pomodoro timer thing. I’ve tried just telling myself work or we’ll stave (which I’m acutely aware of) I’ve even tried putting something entertaining on in the background just to occupy that part of my brain to get me to work.

I’ve been working on a project at work that’s gone on for months. Normally my work projects only last a month or two which helps keep me from being bored. But since this one has dragged on so long I’ve been dragging my feet. I’m at a particular point in the project that is especially tedious.

I feel like I’m rushing through work to get home but then at home I’m not doing anything special so I don’t know why I’m so eager to rush through work.

There’s the old joke that if you’re a virgin by 30 you become a wizard. Well I’m about to turn 30. Up until like 25 I was like oh I have time it’ll be ok. Then after that kept putting the goal out there “well THIS year I’ll date someone seriously”. And then it doesn’t happen. Not for lack of trying. Not blaming others I am just not attractive and whenever I manage to get a date (I have gotten like a few first dates) I just can’t open up to men about the fact I’m inexperienced because now it’s just embarrassing. Idk what to do.

Background: he’s a hound picked up on the woods as a stray so no background. Got him when he was 3 he’s 10 now. He’s always had these “episodes”. I have taken him to the vet during an episode and they could find no physical abnormalities to cause it.

Basically like once a month to once every few months my dog has “episodes” of extreme anxiety with no clear cause. He becomes extremely clingy, looks all around wildly like something is about to attack him, and won’t settle. Clearly very upset. He is on fluoxetine daily. Tried trazadone (per vet recommendation) and he was then extremely anxious and wobbly so that was a no go. Currently waiting on Sileo to be delivered. Hoping that helps.

I wish I could help him. Trying to comfort him makes him more scared. I just try to keep his schedule normal but he won’t eat won’t take treats won’t do anything but try to be under my feet all day or stare at me and pant. It’s like episodes of canine dementia but he’s had them forever. Sometimes the episodes last a day and sometimes like now they’ve stretched on for several days.

I took him to daycare which he loves hoping to cheer him up and he apparently acted fine but the second he got home he went right back to anxiety. I swear my house isn’t haunted. He usually is an extreme homebody desiring to run back home/stay home. Now if I open the door it seems like he tries to walk away from home. It’s like his brains been swapped. Like he’s not my dog anymore during these. It’s concerning but the vet just shrugged and said “there’s nothing wrong with him”. And I mean he acted normal at daycare? It’s so weird. And I’m both concerned and truthfully a little annoyed by him. I love him but I’m trying to work and he’s just weaving all around me panting.

I was listening to some music recently and lots of sappy love songs were coming up about men pining for women and it made me…sad. Because I’ve never been the subject of someone’s pining or affection.

Not to be all “I’m not like other girls” but I’m not..unintentionally. I find the majority of women’s clothing uncomfortable (too short, too tight, wrong materials, or no pockets!) so day to day I wear like men’s Levi’s and a hoodie. I’ve tried to change my style for the male gaze but I always end up throwing all those pieces away because they’re just not for me.

So I just don’t feel like or look like the majority of 30 year old women. And I feel like I will never be the subject of someone’s affection. I have never had a guy approach me, ask me out, or ask for my number. I am invisible in public it feels like. I am mousey and odd. My hobbies are all unusual. I want to be like the women who are subjects in these love songs but they’re so not me I can’t seem to jam myself into that mold.

For example I got my ears pierced as that’s expected for women. And it was a terrible experience with one of the piercings getting infected so I had to remove the piercing and it left an ugly scar behind. I feel like that illustrates what happens when I try to jam myself into the conventional mold. It never ends well. I didn’t even want to pierce my ears I just thought it’d help me date.

I was listening to some music recently and lots of sappy love songs were coming up about men pining for women and it made me…sad. Because I’ve never been the subject of someone’s pining or affection.

Not to be all “I’m not like other girls” but I’m not..unintentionally. I find the majority of women’s clothing uncomfortable (too short, too tight, wrong materials, or no pockets!) so day to day I wear like men’s Levi’s and a hoodie. I’ve tried to change my style for the male gaze but I always end up throwing all those pieces away because they’re just not for me.

So I just don’t feel like or look like the majority of 30 year old women. And I feel like I will never be the subject of someone’s affection. I have never had a guy approach me, ask me out, or ask for my number. I am invisible in public it feels like. I am mousey and odd. My hobbies are all unusual. I want to be like the women who are subjects in these love songs but they’re so not me I can’t seem to jam myself into that mold.

For example I got my ears pierced as that’s expected for women. And it was a terrible experience with one of the piercings getting infected so I had to remove the piercing and it left an ugly scar behind. I feel like that illustrates what happens when I try to jam myself into the conventional mold. It never ends well. I didn’t even want to pierce my ears I just thought it’d help me date.

I am aware there’s a makerspace but my issue is I’m allergic to uncured resin. So I need someone else to partner with to print things for me. Think like minis or random statues. Ideally at a reasonable rate.

Is that little pond off by Laurel park ok for the public to fish?

Also anyone got any lilypadded ponds they know of? Want to throw a top water frog but all the ponds I’ve seen are big and clear with no cover

At present I’m salaried but for a time between salaried jobs I was freelance where the pay style was you get your money once the project is done. My job is very project based. And I found that extremely motivating. A project that would normally take me two months took me three weeks. I worked like a dog of course with late nights and weekend work. But it came in hot under deadline and my client was happy.

I am now salaried. And while it’s nice that no matter the type of workday I’ve had I get my paycheck biweekly…I find this not as motivating. I still do my work of course. But I sort of yearn for that freelance style pay.

You could say well just do freelance. But I really like health insurance that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg and my 401k benefit.

Even if I were hourly with time and a half overtime I’d love it but I make more than that income threshold and what would my company get out of that?

Anyone else find themselves more motivated when their pay feels more tied to their work?

I’ve been single for like six years now and somewhat recently my attractive friend became single. My friends all flocked around my attractive friend when she complained about not being able to find someone. They all were sympathetic and immediately offered lots of advice to her. And reassured her she’ll find someone soon. And then she did. I made the mistake of similarly jokingly complaining of my unsuccessful dating life and they just stared at me. No sympathy no advice just moved on with their conversations.

I don’t blame others for my lack of ability to date. I am simply ugly and I am aware of that. But never in my life has family been like “sooo when are you getting married”. They pestered my siblings constantly about it. Me? They never ask. It’s like they simply don’t expect it from me. I just wish others would maybe pretend that I am at least normal looking?

It’s taken a few years to get my dogs allergies under control so now he’s at least stable. But stability costs me $500/month between Zenrelia, his other meds, hydrolyzed food and treats…it’s a lot. But I can’t cut back or change his food or I’d be back to square one of itchy dog. Curious how much others pay to keep their dogs not itchy.

So on the one hand I feel “okay”. But on the other..my needs compromise 70% of my budget because they just keep going up. Rents been going up. Utilities have gone up despite reduced usage.

And I had to take a $2500 paycut at work (no I can’t really get a different job right now).

What keeps getting cut is my wants. My dining budget is now $12 a month (yes, twelve). My subscriptions is $20 and is iCloud and an Apple protection plan. My fun category is often 0. I feel like I’m being squeezed by categories I have little control over.

I have a ten year old car that slightly pre-dates things like an LED headlight assembly. So I’ve been able to replace things like headlight and taillight bulbs no problem. I can also replace fuses and filters without any tools. I’m concerned about upgrading to a “more computer than car” truck and having to deal with being unable to do small repairs myself.

I’m looking at model year 2023 and 2024. How do you all feel about either models diy repairability?

I became sensitized to resin from two part epoxy so I cannot be around uncured resin at all. I have a large 3d model I want to glue together. I also then want to hide the seams. Online everyone says use like bondo but that’s resin. I need whatever I use to be durable and be sandable. Any ideas?

I swear the past two-three months every time there’s an enhanced risk it’s right in that upper middle Illinois area. Can someone more familiar with meteorology explain?