My mental health is slowly becoming worse and worse. I suffer. An hour ago, I started walking on a train track hoping that a train would come. (Un) Fortunately It didn't. It was also to get to my house quicker cuz my house is right next to a train track, but the killing myself part was the main reason. If you read my other posts, you may see the slow change in me over the last month...
Especially Nirvana... These ppl make me wanna see Kurt Cobain. At least know what are you wearing b4 you wear it... It's like if a racist man wore a BLM shirt just because he likes how it looks and doesn't know what BLM stands for
https://pcpartpicker.com/list/cZFBck BTW, gonna use tiny11 and MAS if needed Edit: changed it. https://pcpartpicker.com/list/GgFBck Edit 2: https://pcpartpicker.com/list/fXVsXf edit 3: https://pcpartpicker.com/list/P6d3ZQ
I think I need help... I'm struggling with possible (most likely it is) depression created by what this world becomes. I am angry, confused and smothered at the same time by that feeling of hate, disgust and wrath. I do not wanna feel this way. I shouldn't feel this way, but I do. I do not wanna live if this works will be like this. I do not know what to do. The only thing that keeps me from kms is the pain of death and the possibility of hell cuz I'm a Christian. My ASD does not help it. My parents are going to get me a therapist, but I dunno what to do exactly...
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It's kinda based on hangul, Arabic and genloss Founder.
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Life as that "stupid autistic kid" in a public elementary school is the worst shit. I (14M, autistic) can't even wear a hood because it's cold since "that's emo" like emo is something completely different... I know because I know a lot of emo people.
A few "cool kids" are actually fucking idiots and little soccer players who every time on the "roundabout" (the last ride on the school bus) they shove their way in behind me and peek over my seat to snoop on what I'm doing. I write something in Swedish to my friend?
- What are you writing there? We're in Poland, so we speak Polish!
Or when I'm just trying to listen to LP, SOAD, or Slipknot with the lyrics and I'm singing under my breath:
- WHAT ARE THESE LYRICS IN SCHOOL!?!?
Not to mention what they do in PE... (I can't stand soccer, that's 1 of my main reasons for outbursts, the rest is scoliosis and people annoying me.) What do they do? When they're playing soccer, the coach lets me shoot hoops. And everyone there:
- Jones on attack - (Jones isn't a real last name but you get the idea.) that's literally their habit to do. Just like the Scots' "Oi"
My parents do not think like that even when I said that something's wrong with me. They think i'm just addicted. But I know it's not it...