u/ur_pretty_strawberry

He keeps framing it as protecting me but hw doesn't listen to my actual needs. Hes trying extremely hard to change. He said he wants to give me the best he can but can only manage a few conversations. He says his biggest fear is disappointing me and his biggest dream is locked behind his inability to be in a relationship. Is he just using me as a stepping stone? Do i mean nothing to him. Is he ever gonna come back healed or am i just going to be something he uses and throws away. He keeps saying things like "we get along so well, im scarednof ruining it" or "youre so caring and amazing i feel like i dont deserve it"

Is he actually in therapy ir just lying to me.

I tried so much to be there for him, anytime he was sad i was there anytime he needed space i was there, i gave him advice that he actually used. Eventually i was able to get him therapy and then he leaves. Do fearful avoidents just heal away from you and use you as a stepping stone to get what they want? He said hes scared of disappointing me and wants me to be happy and told me to get therapy as well before he left but hes obviously lying. He told me no contact is hard on him and that his biggest fear is letting me down and that he misses me. The first and only time i broke nc he responded immediately and he constantly tells me how amazing i am and how beautiful i am and has called me a goddess and such but i think hes manipulating me isnt he. Im not sure what hes trying to gain. I have nothing to give him. Is he never gonna come back. I got him help, i helped him go towards healing and he just throws me away. I told him he gave up on me and he freaked out saying he hasnt but i said he was and i told him im too mad to even look at him. Why doesnt he care? Sorry for all the posts i just dont talk to anyone abt this.

I feel like he doesnt really care about me, like im not valuable. Constantly tells me hes awful and i deserve better even tho i tell him Constantly i like him i told him id probably never date again as its just not something i want anymore unless its him. I can really change how i feel no matter how much therapy i try. Does he genuinely hate me? Am i worthless to him?

Furthermore, i got him therapy but he almost immediately dropped me during the first 3 months. Will healing make him hate me or just throw me away? Why am i not important to him. Ive done nothing but support and love him. i got him therapy, i made him heal and his response is to throw me away?

We broke up first time in September 2024, i thought it was permanent and never reached out. I NEVER chase. He came back may 2025 and we immediately started talking and then flirting then we started talking about therapy. He said he always feels this pressure and was unsure why and didnt really explain well. He said he never lost feelings and couldnt really feel anything else for anyone. In june he started freaking out but instead of going FULL no contact he actually encouraged me to get therapy myself (i have mental disorders that were unchecked and i can be stubborn) he said he was worried and that he wants to be with me but doesnt want me to destroy myself in the process.

He actually did end up taking therapy super seriously. I was the one who got him it in the first place and he really did follow through. He told me his therapist encouraged a small break and occasional check ins. He checked in later saying his therapist gave a go ahead to talk to me. He came back in September 2025. Things were ok i guess but he was definitely doing a bit better. He was doing cbt and whenever he comes back in contact with me hes such a chatter box, telling me everything and anything about his life and his new hobbies and shows me his recent lego sets and shit. He was alot better at naming his patterns, and seemed a bit more mature in that front. He had better communication and shit. He always asks me so many questions about my life too, the first one is always "have you beend dating..?" Even though ive said so many times im not interested in doing that. He has a habit of saying "i want you to find someone better and perfect for you" when he dips. It pisses me off to no end. If thats the case, why does he ask me if im dating? Why do you care? Is this some sick game? Does he want me to date others?

He only lasted until october 2025 before he told me his therapist said to him that she thinks he isnt ready to fully commit to a relationship and he was too brash and he said and i quote

"idk we were talking about stuff again and whether or not it's healthy to try and keep something between us if i'm not ready

especially with apparently a lot of signs of not being ready

so idk if it's the best thing to keep talking unfortunately

cus I gotta make sure that it's not hindering any growth or like making set backs"

So im a hinderance? Great. Thanks. I lost it on him. Ive never been pissed at him to this degree. I told him he was giving up on me, abandoning me, and didnt give a shit about me. He said "im not giving up on you im just making myself a priority for once" for ONCE? all ive ever done was care for him. He doesnt give a shit about me and doesnt care about my mental. He was the one who always came back, he admitted to stalking my socials, he calls me his goddess he admits to constantly dreaming and thinking of me. He constantly tells me he misses me and adores me. Yeah right. Sure. I went off on him, told him he doesnt give a fuck about me, gave up on me and is lazy and that i was too mad to even look at his face or username. I unadded him

He has a fuckass playlist called "i want to" on his spotify with songs like "i was all over her" "limerence" and other songs about girls. Im the only girl hes ever dated.

5 months later, i actually reach out by accident. I was going thru alot and ended up stalking his page and accidentally hit the follow button but immediately unfollowed. This mf IMMEDIATELY follows me back and messages me asking if im ok. I say yeah. He says ok i wish you the best. It pissed me off for some reason and i told him "wow you really hate me huh" and he said no i love talking to you.

Me being really fucking dumb from being depressed from school (im in college and its stressful as hell)

I chatted. Heres some quotes from that convo

"We get along so well, but thats whats makes me scared to mess things up"

"whatever youre feeling its not childish.

could you tell me more about what exactly you thought didnt matter"

"no not at all

but its hard i guess i understand you, like obviously not talking is hard too

but i also just didnt want to stick by just for the bits i enjoyed that i felt i didnt deserve

like idk sometimes i wish i could be in a relationship so i could be [sexual thing that we're both into] my biggest fantasy is locked behind my inability to be in a relationship"

"ughguhehugh

idk what to do [my name] i feel like the hardest thing is knowing that we both cant get what we want smh i need isolation and independance with not even the inkling of an idea of being in a relationship"

Me: so being with me makes you unhappy

Him: thats a black and white way of thinking, no thats not true

"tbf you showed me that i could at least

be attracted to someone

im happy with the impact you made on my life"

Me:do i really remind you of bad things?

"hmm no idk, just know that it's not YOU that causes me to feel anxiety and stress it's never been you

or anything to do with you

it's me and my inability to handle something between us

and idk I feel bad idk what to do"

"no its good to spill

if it will help you talk then talking is always good

but idk, i also wouldnt want you to feel like i just see you as my pleasure like pleasure inpout output

idk

i loved the idea that you liked me so much you wanted to get [insert personal thing]"

"[My name] i dont think you understand that for me when you say the rest of my life, to me my brain just thinks maybe 5 years

so like sure yes forever

like i do not expect to live long ok"

"i dont know how to navigate this situation properly, because i want you to have the best i can give you, but i cannot give you more than a couple conversations because i am just not like able to handle anything that includes any kind of pressure that my brain could create"

[I was in a manic state atp due to my bipolar and started begging essentially for him to come back]

i mean id love that, but i dont want our only link to be sexual stuff

I wanna let you have the freedom to explore the people of the world idk i know you dont want that now but idk

you can live however you want

What kind of stuff would you even do? like [personal stuff yall dont needa read]

[Personal stuff yall dont need to read]

but yk i dont want you to have to do that to try and keep in touch

i just dont think its gonna work

[Me] do you miss me when im gone

check on me or just idk

think of me

"yeah i mean if i didnt i wouldnt have added you back

i thought you wanted to talk and ofc i wouldnt pass up on that"

"My biggest fear is disappointing you, the thought drives me crazy"

"I have so many dreams about you"

Eventually i lost my shit bc he was pissing me off with telling me to find other people and he was confusing me cuz he suggested i try a specific something we both like that was low maintenance to solve our want to be connected and i guess me getting upset triggered him too and as he was becoming less talkative and said in the end "so you want me to stay and suffer?" I then went on some rant about how he clealry doesnt love or care about me and unadded him before he responded. That was 5 months ago. He thinks hes incapable of being in a relationship period. That its how he is as a person. Fucking bullshit.

He hasnt blocked me on anything ever. He clearly lies about liking me and probably doesnt even think about me. He probably doesnt even remember my name or care. He views me lesser than him. I know he does.

The actual relationship wasnt bad he was attentive and caring until one day he just dips. And then essentially blames it on me and tells me im just a heavy weight in his shoulder and i make him depressed.

I dont want any advice or "you deserve better" "find someone else" comments that wont help me. Im permanently done dating for a plethora of reasons. I just want ig validations on my suspicion on him returning cuz i feel crazy for thinking this is a pattern.

I speak korean (admittedly not fluently but my second major is korean language and i have 2 more years to go) i want to go to korea as i love love love the nature there. I also admire the tech there (admittedly not as much as the nature) is this a possible endeavor or would i have to stay in the us alot longer? Is it so difficult its not worth it? How do i go about this? Im entering my junior year of college and im starting to plan for my move out, whether its to my own place in the u.s. or in another country. My ultimate goal i out of the country but im gunning for korea. Please help with where to start?

I need to start planning my move to korea. Ive never been lived outside of the US before so any advice on where to start will help. Thanks

Atp ive given up on trying to have genuine conversations with ppl. They just get so pissed at you for even saying jax is an asshole. I post very normal shit atp but of topics i know people will be pissed abt

The closest thing i see to her possibly being bipolar is the mask she has on in episode 4 and 9 showing manic episodes. But even then its not definitive. Shes consistently down rather than massive mood swings. It feels more like shes masking her emotions rather than bipolar. I feel like wed see more instances of her being manic or happy or mad or irritable rather than just sad and shy. She just comes off as having MDD

I have bpd and bipolar, and i struggle alot with feeling im like im worth anything. Im coming to an end with my therapy and im at a decent place. I still have episodes here and there but yk its under control and theres not much therapy can do about that, i have my own skills. My friends always told me itd be selfish to date when i feel this way even if im at a decent place mentally because then i burden them, and i need to fix it before dating and its my fault that ive never had a boyfriend.

After discussing with my therapist i realized alot of my issues around self worth would probably be better off if i started to try dating and challenge the thoughts that i have. I would constantly put myself down and tell myself im not good enough to date because of what my friends said but ive never actually had a boyfriend and just assumed people viewed me as incompetent.

Therapist suggested challenging these labels and assumptions by going out and actually dating instead of letting people who have boyfriends tell me what i need.

I started to date casually as i cant handle the stress and I just needed to revamp my hope in love. I met this guy and he took me out, i told him i never been on a date before and he took that as a challenge. I had the best day ever. He bought me flowers, took me to an arcade and we both bonded over our pasts with mental health. He paid for everything and won me prizes. He was so gentle and constantly consent checked over everything like hand holding and such.

Eventually he invited me over to his place, and after making sure i had my safety measures in place (life 360, friends know where i am, mace) i decided why not. He invited me over for movies and to play with his dog and dinner.

We cuddled on the couch and watched caseoh and i introduced him to a game we both had but he hadnt played yet. We Eventually took things to the bedroom (with my consent and he constantly made sure i was ok) and it was amazing as i felt like i could just goof off with him mid act and we kept laughing.

After awhile we got food and then he drove me home. The next day we immediately met up again and i slept over this time. I really enjoy his company. He texts me good morning, good night, asks about my day. He asked me to start a mini book club with him. I lent him my favorite book the other day. He makes time for me, he once was asked to stay till closing at his work but declined and only stayed an extra hour and still met up with me. He constantly tells me im worth the time. He once told me he thought he was getting cat fished because he thought i was too good to be true by my photos. He always tell me i look really nkce when he sees me.

He randomly invites me over and after some "cuddling" we usually play some games and eat and talk and walk his dog if he has time. He spends so much on me i honestly feel really bad, im a student while he works like 60 hour weeks, so i cant afford anything but i plan to get him a bday gift. He kisses me goodbye, hello, and just cuz. If this is casual dating, i wonder how amazing actual relationships are. I feel confident. I like how i feel like i make a difference in someones life, enough for them to go out of there way for me.

I know like 50% of it is sex, yk its casual nothing serious but even afterwards he still treats me so kindly and we just hang out and goof off. Sometimes thats all we do is play video games, talk, eat, walk his dog ect. My friends were wrong.

I struggle alot with number, i have adhd and i was the only one on shift as my coworker no called no show. I usually question myself alot but i feel like i did give back the right change, we had a lot of customers ordering weird orders and changing last minute and my manager was on my till a few times to speak to spanish speakers. It was reported bc duh but im so anxious.

People acted shocked when i say im half white and think im adopted. Im also black culturally, my vocab and demeanor very much derive heavily from black culture even tho i lived with my white mom most of the time, its like my moms genes just gave up. My dad jokes im blacker than him. Im genuinely curious, have any of you dealt with this or seen this? Im the only person i know thats dealt with this lol. Not a bad thing obviously but my mommas genes did NOT fight. I onky really say im mixed when it medically matters atp as i dont feel like dealing with having to explain my family dynamics to people (mom and dad are separated so i look even more adopted)Idk what tag to put this as.

If anyones curious mt hair is a mixture of 4a, 4b and 4c

Each number was also a completely different number, only thing the same was that it was a uk number. I stopped answering because they were sketching me out after the firdt time after they asked me to deposit money???? I told them i only had like cash on me and couldnt pay and they said "we can wait just deposit" what?? Yeah no tbis is definitely a scam

Whenever i see discussions about trans rep here, zooble feels consistently left out. Theyre literally accepting of their identity and are a clear parallel to jax who can except himself. I dont ever see it brought up by the fandom when even the show brings it up in episode 7 when jax tries to mess with zooble bc theyre comfortable with their identity.

So i met this guy on a dating app and we went out for a single date, it was genuinely such an amazing day and we went to his place to watch movies and have sex. He was incredibly considerate and constantly checked my consent. We immediately scheduled another date the next day. We've been texting at least once a day, he asks about my day and i do him, we talk in the future tense of things we wanna do together. Im very very new to dating. Is that considered my boyfriend?

He said to me when we last talk that he misses me and dreams of me and no contact is hard for him as well but he refused to get back together. He said hed love to be in contact but feels like he cant due to "how he is"

I just gave up. I started to casually date as hes still at the back of my mind but its better than waiting around and wallowing in self pitty. I like this current guy im with and yk idk if its going to be serious but im mot trying to think too much of the future as i just wanna be anxiety free. But my dreams have been awful lately, and i know of he does come back it would really mess me up mentally. I have alot of mental health issues and i finally have them in check, and i know if he comes back while im dsting this guy id be pretty distraught. I dont need advice on what to do but i wanna mentally prepare myself, and i wanna know what his behavior is building up to. So i can just prepare, when it comes to these things i just need time to get the backbone to deal with shit

And yea i have talked to my date about this first date when we discussed what we were looking for and i told him yk my story and he told me his. I told him i dont intend to date my ex again for the time being and i just want to date and see whats out there, regardless of if my ex is in therapy getting better or not.

Thanks guys

He said to me when we last talk that he misses me and dreams of me and no contact is hard for him as well but he refused to get back together. He said hed love to be in contact but feels like he cant due to "how he is"

I just gave up. I started to casually date as hes still at the back of my mind but its better than waiting around and wallowing in self pitty. I like this current guy im with and yk idk if its going to be serious but im mot trying to think too much of the future as i just wanna be anxiety free. But my dreams have been awful lately, and i know of he does come back it would really mess me up mentally. I have alot of mental health issues and i finally have them in check, and i know if he comes back while im dsting this guy id be pretty distraught. I dont need advice on what to do but i wanna mentally prepare myself, and i wanna know what his behavior is building up to. So i can just prepare, when it comes to these things i just need time to get the backbone to deal with shit.

Thanks guys

Yeah sure using both is extra protection but why should it out rigbt prevent us from having fun in the other way. Its not like im doing that 24/7. I find it frustrating and like im getting slut shamed because i wasnt extra careful but its like isnt birth controls primary purpose to be a better replacement for condoms and/or extra protection. We dont have any illnesses or infections. I feel so frustrated that im being called irresponsible when i didnt take an extra extra precaution just cuz i wanted a night of extra fun with someone safe.