u/New_Bodybuilder_3700

For them, quiet boring days where nothing much happens are more pleasing compared to excitement, novelty or adventures:

A boring but reliable relationship,

A boring job that pays the bills consistently

A boring and predictable home or environment to reside in.

Safety and security of their rattled nervous system takes precedence over novelty, excitement, exploration or growth.

Looking for inspiring stories and practical strategies that helped people overcome poverty.

We often hear negativity around this topic and for valid reason

But on the flip side, It's interesting to hear what genuinely good experiences women here have had with men, which made their day a little brighter,

it could be as simple as a small act of kindness a man did to them without expecting anything.

Atheism is nice but by itself, it doesn't really offer any meaning framework or anything to aspire to, religions are a recent invention, but even without them, humans always had a longing for meaning, and numerous different takes have sprung up to tackle the void of meaning in a post religious era such as existentialism, absurdism and so on

So I am curious to know what fellow atheists here are doing practically in their life to make it meaningful?

Charity? Discovering your core values? Humanitarian intiatives? Meditation? Taking care of your loved ones? Or something else? Would love to know.

loneliness seems like a stupid problem, I mean I would consider it a difficult problem if it required some advanced technology or rocket science that wasn't available

But the cure is so readily available, in the reach of all of us, we are the cure, there are 8 billion of us, I don't know why we can't find a warm community with other lonely people

It only requires a genuine interest, some empathy, the willingness to put in efforts and tolerance of boredom and voila

But in our individualistic pursuits, thinking of our self interest, we have created a every-man-for-themselves kind of situation

We have deepened divisions instead of accepting our diversity, discrimination, gender wars, polarization and so on

Which has just come to bite us in the back, because we have become isolated islands suspicious of other sailers.

All this wouldn't affect us if belonging to a tribe, a community was not one of the deepest if not the most important needs of the human mind who is primarily a social animal which used to survive in tribes not in isolation.

Community building and empathy is not an act of charity or selflessness but is a part of intelligent self-fulfillment, a smart individual should understand that contributing to broader social systems is necessary for his own survival and longevity, as demonstrated by many recent studies which state that social connection and belonging has a direct correlation with mental health and longevity.

I have frequently seen muslims make the claim that their religious book is timeless and perfect and it requires no reforms or updates.

But how is a book and its verses perfect when they change with time?

Just because outwardly the word sequences remain the same doesn't mean their semantic content and its interpretation doesn't undergo change.

In fact, although the surface of the Qur'an (the arabic word sequences) has remained the same, the underlying semantic content and its interpretation has undergone significant transformation and change with time.

But believers reconcile these changes with their claim of it being perfect by arguing "we have gained a better understanding of god's will" they don't think of it as the text undergoing change in meaning, but their own flawed interpretation being corrected over time.

This attribution of change with the interpreter rather than the text and its semantic content protects the epistemic authority of the text.

Meaning is a two-fold dance. It neither rests inherently in the text, nor does it lie with the interpreter, rather meaning manifests when the interpreter with his own particular cultural conditioning comes into contact with the text and It's history, he may be in know of its past but still make choices diverging from them to reconcile it with his current Socio-cultural context.

I would argue that a text is primarily a vehicle of communication, first and foremost; at its core, a text is a conveyor and container of meaning, with words being the carrier of meaning, and if its communicated meaning significantly evolves with time, then we can reasonably acknowledge that the text itself has changed even though its surface structure and word composition is still identical.

I don't feel pleasure anymore with my penis when masturbating

It started around the time when I turned into an adult so 18-19,

Since then it has been four years and I have almost forgotten what it's like to experience pleasure

There are three or more issues that I am going through:

1.Erectile dysfunction

2.Premature ejaculation

3. Sexual or orgasmic anhedonia

My biggest issue out of the three is the third one,

I am not a very high libido guy in general but four years of deprivation can make even the most patient frustrated

Let me explain what happens, I still feel sexual urges almost daily, and I masturbate to pacify those urges, I grow erect too, then after some time, I ejaculate a normal amount of semen as well, and then the urge is gone and diminished.

So far so good, but the problem being throughout this whole process I feel NO PLEASURE

There are urges, there is erection, there is ejaculation,

the only missing component is the exciting sexual tension build up, a release of it in a burst (orgasm) and the deep sense of satisfaction you feel afterwards.

All of those are missing from the equation and I have no idea what's wrong.

I am pretty sure it wasn't the same before, I have faint memories of it but as far as I can remember, orgasms used to feel electric at 18-19, when I used to masturbate,

there was an exciting build up and a burst of "toe curling" release which used to leave me completely satisfied and satiated afterwards.

Tbh, this problem wouldn't have been as frustrating if I felt no urges at all, I would be fine with it

Just imagine, you feel the urge to drink water regularly, you drink water to make your body function as normal but the underlying sense of thirst is still not satiated, anyone would be driven mad by more than 1000 iterations of that

I regularly feel sexual urges but they are never satisfied, but I still feel compelled to do masturbation for the sole reason that after doing it, at least the urges get diminished and don't annoy me as much so I can focus on other things, it has become a chore needed for regular maintenance like bathing.

If anyone has any advice or opinions as to what could be wrong or has gone through something similar, feel free to reply. Thank you.

I don't feel pleasure anymore with my penis when masturbating

It started around the time when I turned into an adult so 18-19,

Since then it has been four years and I have almost forgotten what it's like to experience pleasure

There are three or more issues that I am going through:

1.Erectile dysfunction

2.Premature ejaculation

3. Sexual or orgasmic anhedonia

My biggest issue out of the three is the third one,

I am not a very high libido guy in general but four years of deprivation can make even the most patient frustrated

Let me explain what happens, I still feel sexual urges almost daily, and I masturbate to pacify those urges, I grow erect too, then after some time, I ejaculate a normal amount of semen as well, and then the urge is gone and diminished.

So far so good, but the problem being throughout this whole process I feel NO PLEASURE

There are urges, there is erection, there is ejaculation,

the only missing component is the exciting sexual tension build up, a release of it in a burst (orgasm) and the deep sense of satisfaction you feel afterwards.

All of those are missing from the equation and I have no idea what's wrong.

I am pretty sure it wasn't the same before, I have faint memories of it but as far as I can remember, orgasms used to feel electric at 18-19, when I used to masturbate,

there was an exciting build up and a burst of "toe curling" release which used to leave me completely satisfied and satiated afterwards.

Tbh, this problem wouldn't have been as frustrating if I felt no urges at all, I would be fine with it

Just imagine, you feel the urge to drink water regularly, you drink water to make your body function as normal but the underlying sense of thirst is still not satiated, anyone would be driven mad by more than 1000 iterations of that

I regularly feel sexual urges but they are never satisfied, but I still feel compelled to do masturbation for the sole reason that after doing it, at least the urges get diminished and don't annoy me as much so I can focus on other things, it has become a chore needed for regular maintenance like bathing.

If anyone has any advice or opinions as to what could be wrong or has gone through something similar, feel free to reply. Thank you.

It is for both men and women, because patriarchy and misogyny isn't limited to one gender.

You can share whatever you are comfortable with.

I will go first:

1.

I used to rate women like cabbages in school years along with my ex-buds

Like "oh that's a solid 7!" And "nah, that's too ugly, yuck"

Reflection:

It was completely wrong, such casual Objectification and stripping away someone's humanity and Personhood is disgusting.

2.

I used to use some words and phrases without knowing they were wrong, such as "chicks" and "many fishes in the sea" and "females"

Reflection:

it's hard to change vocab due to habit, but I mostly no longer use chicks or fishes at all now, females is something I still use as an adjective for friends as in female friends but not as an noun by itself because this has been used to dehumanise women, although I would admit that I still struggle with this one and occasionally forget.

3.

I used to do "not all men" yes the legendary "not all men"

Reflection:

it was an annoyance with what I thought of as a bad use of language and making insensitive generalizations, But I now understand that it's about their experiences and trauma with men and i have learnt to avoid it because I know what they mean and in which context.

also when someone is hurting and or in fear, being gentle and empathetic with their struggles is more important than scoring logical points.

---

Now it's your turn, feel free to jot down your mistakes and growth, I hope we can offer a non judgemental space to everyone here and appreciate their learning journey. Thank you so much 🙏

ADHD diagnosis is expensive, so i am unsure when it is worth going for one, i am curious if any of my symptoms written below match your experience of ADHD,

i just want some external feedback to make sure i am not making this all up in my mind about ADHD, and exaggerating.

1. I cannot seem to follow any routine at all. I create hundreds of routines but never really follow any of them for a long time.
2. I am massively curious about many things. I am interested in far too many topics, which is the same reason I had such difficulty choosing a career.
3. I find it extremely hard to manage my time, regulate myself, or regulate my emotions in the absence of an externally enforced structure, such as a job or school.
4. I have "shiny object syndrome, the combination of high curiosity and low execution creates a situation where I start many things and rarely complete any of them.
5. I have struggled with heavy procrastination since my school days. I always studied for exams at the last minute and was often 15 minutes late to school or other professional commitments, even though I set reminders.
6. I suffer from social anxiety, general anxiety and Hyper-vigilance.
7. I have great difficulty staying organized. I often overestimate my own abilities and end up not following through with my systems, or I overthink my systems and keep adding things to them until they become too complex to follow.
8. when i worry, i often get overwhelmed to the point i cannot do anything and i also exhibit dangerously low situational awareness and almost got myself in accident because of it
9. I have difficulty pushing through boredom and If I wasn't paying attention, sometimes I begin doubting what I did just ten seconds ago
10. As a child, I was always daydreaming. I often felt as if I wasn't living in "reality", i felt disconnected from it.

i am not looking for medical or professional evaluation, just feedback from people who have endured something similar.

ADHD diagnosis is expensive, so i am unsure when it is worth going for one, i am curious if any of my symptoms written below match your experience of ADHD,

i just want some external feedback to make sure i am not making this all up in my mind about ADHD, and exaggerating.

1. I cannot seem to follow any routine at all. I create hundreds of routines but never really follow any of them for a long time.
2. I am massively curious about many things. I am interested in far too many topics, which is the same reason I had such difficulty choosing a career.
3. I find it extremely hard to manage my time, regulate myself, or regulate my emotions in the absence of an externally enforced structure, such as a job or school.
4. I have "shiny object syndrome, the combination of high curiosity and low execution creates a situation where I start many things and rarely complete any of them.
5. I have struggled with heavy procrastination since my school days. I always studied for exams at the last minute and was often 15 minutes late to school or other professional commitments, even though I set reminders.
6. I suffer from social anxiety, general anxiety and Hyper-vigilance.
7. I have great difficulty staying organized. I often overestimate my own abilities and end up not following through with my systems, or I overthink my systems and keep adding things to them until they become too complex to follow.
8. when i worry, i often get overwhelmed to the point i cannot do anything and i also exhibit dangerously low situational awareness and almost got myself in accident because of it
9. I have difficulty pushing through boredom and If I wasn't paying attention, sometimes I begin doubting what I did just ten seconds ago
10. As a child, I was always daydreaming. I often felt as if I wasn't living in "reality", i felt disconnected from it.

i am not looking for medical or professional evaluation, just feedback from people who have endured something similar.

ADHD diagnosis is expensive, so i am unsure when it is worth going for one, i am curious if any of my symptoms written below match your experience of ADHD,

i just want some external feedback to make sure i am not making this all up in my mind about ADHD, and exaggerating.

1. I cannot seem to follow any routine at all. I create hundreds of routines but never really follow any of them for a long time.
2. I am massively curious about many things. I am interested in far too many topics, which is the same reason I had such difficulty choosing a career.
3. I find it extremely hard to manage my time, regulate myself, or regulate my emotions in the absence of an externally enforced structure, such as a job or school.
4. I have "shiny object syndrome", the combination of high curiosity and low execution creates a situation where I start many things and rarely complete any of them.
5. I have struggled with heavy procrastination since my school days. I always studied for exams at the last minute and was often 15 minutes late to school or other professional commitments, even though I set reminders.
6. I suffer from social anxiety, general anxiety and Hyper-vigilance.
7. I have great difficulty staying organized. I often overestimate my own abilities and end up not following through with my decisions and plans.
8. when i worry, i often get overwhelmed to the point i cannot do anything and i also exhibit dangerously low situational awareness and almost got myself in accident because of it
9. I have difficulty pushing through boredom and If I wasn't paying attention, sometimes I begin doubting what I did just ten seconds ago
10. As a child, I was always daydreaming. I often felt as if I wasn't living in "reality", and felt disconnected from it.

i am not looking for medical or professional evaluation, just feedback from people who have endured something similar.

ADHD diagnosis is expensive, so i unsure when it is worth going for one, i am curious if any of my symptoms written below match your experience of ADHD,

i just want some external feedback to make sure i am not making this all up in my mind about ADHD, and exaggerating.

1. I cannot seem to follow any routine at all. I create hundreds of routines but never really follow any of them for a long time.
2. I am massively curious about many things. I am interested in far too many topics, which is the same reason I had such difficulty choosing a career.
3. I find it extremely hard to manage my time, regulate myself, or regulate my emotions in the absence of an externally enforced structure, such as a job or school.
4. I have "shiny object syndrome, the combination of high curiosity and low execution creates a situation where I start many things and rarely complete any of them.
5. I have struggled with heavy procrastination since my school days. I always studied for exams at the last minute and was often 15 minutes late to school or other professional commitments, even though I set reminders.
6. I suffer from social anxiety, general anxiety and Hyper-vigilance.
7. I have great difficulty staying organized. I often overestimate my own abilities and end up not following through with my systems, or I overthink my systems and keep adding things to them until they become too complex to follow.
8. I have brain fog on most days, feel like zombie on autopilot, and i often exhibit dangerously low situational awareness and almost got myself in accident because of it
9. I have difficulty pushing through boredom and If I wasn't paying attention, sometimes I begin doubting what I did just ten seconds ago
10. As a child, I was always daydreaming. I often felt as if I wasn't living in "reality."

i am not looking for medical or professional evaluation, just feedback from people who have endured something similar.

Big five personality Profile (OCEAN):

Openness: 98/100

Conscientiousness: 38/100

Extraversion: 50/100

Agreeableness: 78/100

Neuroticism: 78/100

i have always found this very strange, Muslims are very strict about being involved in haram, they judge and keep each other in check,

but when it comes to celebs (both Muslim men and women), they are implicitly given free reign by most to do haram out in the open, why is that partiality there?

i have always found this very strange, Muslims are very strict about being involved in haram, they keep each other in check,

but when it comes to celebs (both Muslim men and women), they are implicitly given free reign by most to do haram out in the open, why is that partiality there?

i have always found this very strange, Muslims are very strict about being involved in haram, they judge and keep each other in check,

but when it comes to celebs (both Muslim men and women), they are implicitly given free reign by most to do haram out in the open, why is that partiality there?