u/Rainbow_Doggo_TNT

So I've been diagnosed with OCD for a while now and one of the only compulsions that has always stuck is one with my eyes.

I'll constantly be moving my eyes into the far sides of my eye sockets as far they'll go, mainly the top left and top and bottom middle. I'll do it like 5 to 7 times most times and it's makes everything take way longer. Most of the time I'll have to just sit there and let it pass because I can't see anything I'm doing when it happens.

It happens constantly at work which just leaves me sitting there doing nothing for little while it makes me look stupid or lazy. I can't watch movies or play games witout pausing them an absurd amount of times so I don't miss anything or mess something up. And it often happens when I'm talking to people and to them, it just looks I'm rolling my eyes at them so I have to explain it to them so I don't seem like an asshole or I have to look down enough to hide my eyes while I do it to avoid that conversation all together.

And it's gotten to the point where I force my eyes to the side so much and so hard that it actually hurts almost everytime. And for it to finally feel right so I can ignore it, I sometimes have to push it further and hold it there.

I'm starting to worry it could permanently damage my eyes in some way or mess up something else. It also wastes so much time; if I had to guess, I probably spend up to a few hours total everyday doing it and it makes everyday so much harder to get through.

It's really hard to ignore because it's not something you have to really go out of your way to do like something with your hand or legs; you can just hold your limbs still. But the eyes, the second you have the thought, your eyes just start doing it and it's really difficult to ignore because of how easy it is do complete it intentionally and unintentionally.

But I'm hoping someone has some idea of what I can do to help deal with this. Typing this whole thing alone took way too long

I'm working on a map where it's basically just Russian roulette but with multiple people sitting around a table. A random person is given a revolver and can choose who they want to shoot but it has a random chance of not firing. Then it will repeat the process until there is only one person left at the table. You can also try to convince people not to shoot you using voice chat and form alliances.

I really want to make this map happen but it kind of depends on whether or not I can make the gun randomly fire or not fire when pressing the trigger. If that isn't possible, are there any alternatives I can use to make something similar as a substitute?