I [M34] have been with my wife Lily [F31] for 9 years. We do not have kids together (yet) but share a house and are otherwise very tangibly connected. Over the last year or two, Lily has been going through a lot, she was kicked out of several friend groups in the last year due to her toxicity and how she treats people  (allegedly). As a result she started SSRIs, anxiety meds, and ADHD meds; we are working through her - though I am sure it is difficult and I'm certainly ill equipped as a human to be the best at-home therapist.

Lily met a guy named Jay at her volleyball gym about six months ago. She said he was recently single and looking to make friends. I had seen him from afar before, but I’d never actually spoken to him (and still haven't to this day). Lily makes a lot of guy friends, so I don't bat an eye, and I'm generally very trusting of her. For example, a couple years ago she wanted to go on a multi-day bush-camping trip with no reception with a bunch of guys she had just met couple months prior, and I didn't really say much besides the general "okay, just be safe!".

Anyway. After they met, I noticed she became increasingly reclusive from me, we messaged during the day noticeably a lot less, and in some ways, I did feel her time and words to me have become low-effort and short. In person, she constantly made random comments about Jay, how kind he is, how relatable, how good Jay was at volleyball, etc. which I mean I guess is fine.  

Additionally, she started spending money on Steam games to play with him deep into the night, often coming to bed around 3 or 4AM. I had previously asked her to play games with me, but she told me she wasn't interested.

Couple months into this, I went out of town for several days. Whenever either of us is away, we always call each other to say goodnight and that we love each other, etc. Lily had told me she was going to a birthday party that evening, a commitment she had made weeks prior and wanted to keep. I texted her a couple of times starting around 4:00 PM to let her know where I was, ask how her day was going, and check on the party. I received a couple of one-word responses but otherwise didn't get any responses.

At 11:40 PM, I finally got a text back. She said she had bailed on the party at the last minute. She typically follows through on her commitments, but when I asked why she cancelled, she just said, "idk." 

After that, I tried to call and message her a couple more times, but my calls went to voicemail. Lily later claimed she just didn't see my phone calls. I will say, Lily is religious about wearing her Garmin smartwatch at all hours, even for sleep tracking, and even when charging, it vibrates quite loudly on the nightstand, so I do find this a bit suspect. To me, it was fairly apparent the calls were being ignored and that she was otherwise preoccupied.

In the morning, I found out Jay had come over to our home at 2:00 PM and stayed overnight until 6:00 AM - a full 16 hours. However, our door camera had been deactivated, leaving no record of his arrival or departure.

When I expressed that I was uneasy and felt a line had been crossed - especially given that she had not been open to me about having cancelled her plans to spend the night with someone who was a complete stranger to me, and in our home - she agreed, but otherwise simply said, "Yep, those are facts, thanks for sharing how you feel."

On April 22nd, my sports team was playing for the season championship. It's not really that big a deal as it is essentially a beer league, but this was something I was semi-excited about since it's rare to win anything these days. I asked if she could come support me, and she said she might drop by quickly, but would leave early because she would rather hang out with Jay. To her credit, she did show up for about 15 minutes (we ended up losing lol).

Throughout May and June, my Find My location tracking on Lily was revoked and then reactivated hours later on several occasions. (The app will send a notification when location sharing is removed or added, I'm not just checking constantly like a loon lol). I do not know where she was or who she was with during those times.

Things came to a head on June 29th. Lily said she would be home after work by 7:00 PM at the latest, though she later edited the iMessage to 7:45 PM. Her Find My location was revoked at this time. I made a whole dinner for us as I wanted to spend some real time and reconnect with her. She didn't arrive home until 8:54 PM, at which point her Find My location was reactivated. When I asked where she had been, she said she was at Jay's house which is over 30 minutes from her work and nearly an hour from our home.

On July 1st, we were invited to attend a Canada Day party and watch fireworks near midnight. Lily went to play volleyball with Jay at 9:00 PM while I went to the party around 7PM. I checked her location around 11:30 PM to make sure she would make it for the fireworks, intending to ask my friend to delay them if needed, but she was sitting in an empty parking lot. I did think this was weird but kind of brushed it off. But by 12:20 AM, she still hadn't moved. At this point I was concerned for her safety, cause why would someone be in an empty lot in an industrial area late at night, so I called her. She picked up on the first ring, said she lost track of time, and was heading out. She later admitted she was just sitting in her car spending time with Jay.

On July 3rd, Lily and I went on a pre-arranged weekend trip with another couple. She was constantly messaging someone, in the car, at dinner, during movies, and even when as a group we did table games she did not partake and stayed on the couch texting. I could see from afar that the profile picture belonged to Jay. More so, on several occasions, she made a conscious effort to tilt her phone away from me if we were sitting side by side on the couch or in the car. 

On the last day, I tried to use her phone to pay for breakfast (we pay with her 4% restaurant cashback card when dining out) and realized my Face ID had been revoked and her password had been changed. Not that I've ever looked at her phone, but like, it's just one of those things we've never had to question our openness with each other and it's just useful to be able to pay with either phone, change songs, or quickly open to look at something being referenced, etc. So it's just a bit out of place to change it after all these years.

On Monday, July 6th, when she finally came home late, I confronted her about how disconnected from her I felt the whole weekend. She told me that she just shares everything with Jay, about her life and difficulties, but also he's a person she can share every single detail of our relationship with who is outside the relationship. I said this was really painful to hear as I didn't realize she was just telling this random person deeply private things I had told her in confidence. I asked her to consider how hurtful that was to me, and if she could not share things like that with people. She said she was tired and needed to sleep and walked away. She then moved all her stuff from our master bathroom and bedroom, to the guest bed & bath where she now stays. 

On Thursday, July 9th, I felt I was getting eaten alive from the inside so I tried to approach her and continue the conversation. She insisted she wasn’t cheating emotionally or physically. I asked if she give me anything for reassurance, and we agreed she could show me a quick scroll of their messages.

First of all, she had to pull it up from a hidden folder where the chat was hidden and muted, so she clearly knew what she was doing. And second, every photo had been sent using the "view once then deleted" setting. 

She scrolled ridiculously fast - probably 30 or more times - and despite the massive volume of messages the date stamps showed only a matter of days. They were clearly exchanging hundreds of messages a day, including throughout our weekend trip.

Even with the fast scrolling, a few messages stood out and are now seared into my mind:

• Lily: You smelled so good yesterday. Jay: You smelled so good too. I miss you so fucking much.
• Jay: I miss you so much. I wish I could cuddle the shit out of you right now.

 

These two instances pretty much immediately broke me on the spot.

That is nothing to say about all the other shit talking about me Jay partakes in, which is pretty wild in itself. 

Further, I also saw that on Tuesday - less than ten hours after I cried my heart out to her and told her how deeply it hurt that she was sharing our intimate relationship details with him - she had literally done the EXACT thing and told him all about my break down like I was a freak show. This is honestly, lowkey funny as hell like the complete brazen disregard for what I opened up to her about and begged her not to. 

Additionally, they had gone to a park, cuddled, and taken selfies together, with her commenting that looking at the photos made her feel "warm and fuzzy inside." When I asked her about that, she claimed they had just gone to the park and laid “really close to each other”. I honestly have no idea when this would have even happened, during the workday?

I can’t even imagine what else has gone on over the last six months if these kinds of messages between a single dude and a married woman are considered acceptable to her.

I told her I really can't do this anymore and that we should just separate if she just simply wants to be with him. When I said that, she kind of freaked out at me, and started saying she was going to cut him off entirely. I told her no I don't want that because, that's not the kind of relationship I want to be in, and she should be able to be friends with whomever she choses. But she insisted she wanted to do it for herself, for us, to work on saving our relationship.

Anyway. It's been a month now, and she’s still texting him daily. I'm not stupid, I can literally see her texting lol.

I asked her about it. And she said she’s thought about it and she realized she hasn't done anything wrong. In her exact words, “there is nothing wrong with seeking comfort in the arms of another if I was not around.” So really in fact, it’s my fault. 

---

For full context, her defences are:

- she lost track of time that 2pm-6am night

- she doesn't know why the doorbell camera was deactivated (tbf the wifi connection does goes wonky sometimes)

- she turned off Find My for everyone not just me, because lately she just doesn't want people knowing where she is at times

- she lost track of time in the car on Canada Day

- she turned the phone away because she was telling him things about me

- her Face ID and password changed because iOS forced a change from the 4-pin to 6-pin

- she hides and mutes his chat to prevent herself from spending all day messaging him

- she sends photos as a "view 1-time" to manage the phone memory storage

- he literally did just smell good 

- he's just always available for her (he's unemployed)

- therefore, again, that there is nothing wrong with seeking solace in his arms if I'm not as available

---

TL;DR I'm trying really really hard to move on, and I don't know, suppress? heal? from this...but I if I can summarize where my jumbled up brain is:

Lily keeps saying "the baseline is you don't trust me, and that's something you need to decide yourself if you can get over it.".

But...what I need is for her to say "I recognize your trust has been broken, what can we do to repair it together?"

Thus the crux of where we're at. Her stance is simply that she hasn't done anything wrong and that I'm ballooning this into being hurt over.

So I guess, AIO over a nothing burger?

---

Edit: Thanks guys. I've read most of the comments. I'm not really sure what to feel right now. Sorry.

I wish it were fake, I wish so hard it was fake.

And to those that think it's AI because of the dashes, I don't know what to tell you. Some of us type with dashes especially when I'm just rambling while I typed it all in the iphone notes. Pretty sure those aren't even em-dashes, they're just normal dashes. And yea obviously it's a throwaway account, I'm not posting this on my main wtf. There is MORE than enough details in this to doxx me if on my main - the names were barely changed.

Thanks anyway all.

I'm 20M and having been dating this guy for 6 months. Before we were together he knew I was gay and often confided in me about how he struggled to find guys that he could connect with emotionally. After a while we officially started dating. We would talk about everything with each other, and he told me that I made him feel safe. I felt the same way. I felt like I was in love.

Everything has been mostly fine since then, but lately I've been trying to push off our more physically intimate activities because I've been feeling like we haven't been talking as much.
Like whenever it's just us alone all he wants to do is have sex. I've tried bringing up how I feel to him, but he always just changes the subject or ignores me.

So fast forward to a few weeks ago, I put my foot down and told him I wanted our relationship to be more emotional like it was in the beginning. He told me that I was imagining things and that he never felt that close with me, and that he's not even "into guys like that." He started accusing me of trying to turn him gay and that we weren't that serious, and that sex was just something we did for fun. He got really mad, and when I tried to calm him down he pushed me into a wall and kicked me out of his apartment.

When I told my friend what happened, she told me that he sounded like he was just having a hard time and that I should try talking to him again. I felt uncomfortable at the thought, and a little unsafe. It’s not like he pushed me hard enough to the point of injury, but he’s a lot stronger than I am and I’m a little scared of what he’d do if I kept pressing him. When I voiced these thoughts to my friend, she told me I was being dramatic.

Since he kicked me out, my boyfriend has been texting me apologizing. My friend is telling me that this is good and that I should go back with him, but I don’t have a good feeling about it at all. I know it’s a bad idea, but I do miss him. So far, I haven’t answered him, but it’s just making my friend mad at me. She keeps telling me I’m being stupid.

I just feel crazy in this whole situation. First this guy tells me I’m the love of his life and the next he’s telling me he only wants me to sleep around with? And it’s like my friend is just disregarding everything. I don’t have parents to turn to, and my closest friend says that I should do the opposite of what my gut is saying. I know that I shouldn’t take her advice, but I’m sick of her telling me that I’m being dramatic. Honestly, I feel like a big idiot. This shouldn’t even be a question, but am I overreacting? Maybe I should hear him out.

My neighbor and I have houses next to each other, but we don't share a driveway. My driveway is on my side of the property line, and there's even a fence separating our yards.

About a couple of weeks ago, my neighbor's adult daughter moved back home. Since then, her silver Civic has been parked in my driveway four different times.

The first time, I knocked on her door and she apologized and moved it.

The second time, I left a note on the windshield saying it was my private driveway and asked her not to park there again.

The third time, I talked to her directly. She said her daughter only needed the space temporarily and that she didn't think it was a big deal since my driveway was empty.

The fourth time happened last Tuesday. I got home from work around 7 PM with groceries in the rain, and the same car was sitting in my driveway. No one was home.

I called a towing company first to make sure I was allowed to have it removed from my property. They confirmed I could, so I had it towed.

The next morning, my neighbor came over angry. She said her daughter had to pay $350 to get the car back and that I should reimburse her because I caused the fee.

I told her I had already asked multiple times.

She said, "I didn't think you were actually going to tow it. You could have just called me."

I told her, "I understand that, but I also expected my driveway not to be used after I asked you not to."

Since then, she hasn't spoken to me. Her daughter texted me saying I made this into a bigger deal than it needed to be.

Another neighbor told me I should have tried one more conversation before escalating because we still have to live next to each other.

I know neighbor relationships matter, but I also feel like I gave enough warnings.

A. I escalated too far. I had already made my point, but towing my neighbor's car over a parking issue created a much bigger conflict. I could have tried talking one more time because I still have to live next to her.

B. I gave enough chances. I clearly explained that the driveway was private, and my neighbor kept using it anyway. I don't think I should have to keep asking someone to respect my property.

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/RemoteWar7356

Published on: r/AITA_Relationships

Story is: CONCLUDED

Story timeline

• Main Post: July 03, 2026

• Update: July 06, 2026

• Final Update: July 23, 2026

---

Main Post

^(July 03, 2026)

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AITA for cutting off my daughter after she slept with her sister's husband?

I (59F) have two daughters: Emma (35F) and Chloe (33F). Emma has been married to her husband (36M) for 11 years, and they have two children together. Chloe has been married to her husband (34M) for 8 years, and they have one 5-year-old son.

About six weeks ago, Emma called me just after midnight, completely hysterical. She told me she'd suspected for months that her husband was hiding something. He'd become distant, constantly guarded his phone, and was always finding excuses to stay late at work. That night, after he fell asleep beside her, she looked through his phone for the first time.

She found years of explicit messages between him and Chloe.

The affair had been going on for almost four years.

Emma was devastated. She kept asking me how her own sister could do this to her.

A few days later, we were at my brother's birthday party when Emma confronted Chloe outside. Chloe denied everything at first and insisted Emma had misunderstood. When Emma said she'd read the messages herself, Chloe completely fell apart. She started crying, admitted the affair, and kept repeating, "I don't know why I did it. I'm so sorry. It was the biggest mistake of my life."

Emma asked how four years could possibly be "a mistake."

Chloe had no answer.

The argument escalated into a screaming match. Chloe tried to slap Emma, but several relatives stepped in before she could. Chloe's husband quietly took their son home after realizing what had happened. Within days, he told Chloe he wanted a divorce. Emma also filed for divorce after her husband admitted everything.

After it all came out, Chloe called me 82 times in one day. I answered once because I hoped she was calling to explain herself.

Instead she cried the entire time, begging me not to abandon her. She said she'd already lost her husband, was probably going to lose shared custody of her son, and couldn't bear losing her mother too. She said she knew she didn't deserve forgiveness but begged me not to hate her forever.

I told her I couldn't look at her the same way anymore. I said this wasn't one bad decision—it was years of lying to her sister, her husband, and the rest of us. I told her I loved her because she's my daughter, but I didn't want contact with her for the foreseeable future.

Since then, I've ignored every attempt she's made to reach out.

This is where my family thinks I'm wrong.

My sisters say Chloe has already lost everything: her marriage, her relationship with her sister, many of her friends, and likely the family she dreamed of giving her son. They say she's genuinely remorseful, has started individual therapy, and isn't trying to justify what she did. They argue that if a mother won't stand by her child after they've hit rock bottom, who will?

They also remind me that cutting Chloe off means my grandson is growing up without his grandmother, even though he's done nothing wrong.

I understand all of that.

But every time I think about welcoming Chloe back into my life, I picture Emma reading those messages alone in the middle of the night, realizing that two of the people she trusted most had been lying to her for years.

I don't know if I can move past that.

My family says I'm punishing Chloe forever for something she already deeply regrets.

I feel like I'm simply refusing to pretend it never happened.

AITA?

I know a lot of people are used to seeing cheating posts and always thinking they are fake, but what would you do if you were in my shoes?

 

COMMENTS

jessie783 > NTA she’s not “genuinely remorseful” she’s sad she got caught and is facing consequences. Can’t you have a relationship with your grandson via his father? Tell your sisters to mind their own business this is between you and your daughters nothing to do with them. > > OOP >> I can kind of have a relationship with him but the problem is that he wants his child to grow up closer to his own family who lives in another city rather than his ex wife's family. >> >> MaryEFriendly >>> You should send Chloe your post. She is catastrophically stupid, selfish, entitled and exactly the kind of person who would sleep with her sister's husband. The fact that she's trying to justify it and blame her sister is disgusting. I hope she gets everything she deserves.  >>> >>> OOP >>>> She doesn't use Reddit or any old apps like linkedin or Facebook. She uses Instagram,tiktok, Snapchat and stuff like that

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Financial_Weekend_73 (downvoted) > Is Emma still with the sisters husband? > > OOP >> What? Is Emma still with her husband or still with Chloe's husband? >> >> Financial_Weekend_73 >>> Chloe’s husband that would go in to me forgiving. If she had an ongoing relationship with him. >>> >>> OOP >>>> Emma told Chloe's husband about the affair and then they planned from there

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OkGazelle5400 > I mean, I personally can’t think of anything my kid would do that would cause me to cut her off permanently but I would probably take a break for a while to organize my feelings. There is 10000% nothing that could happen that would make me willing to cut off my grandkid. What Chloe did was unforgivable but I would ask you: how would you feel if something happened to Chloe right now? How would you feel? If you don’t feel anything then you have your answer about what you want to do > > OOP >> It depends on what happens to her. If she is struggling with her mental health or got into an accident, I would obviously help her like a mother would. I admit I might have been harsh when I told her for the "foreseeable future" but I was thinking of my daughter Emma and how she would be feeling right now. I love both my daughters equally from the moon and back, but I am just torn in this decision.

---

Witchy_Abundance > NTA! You have a daughter that has been completely destroyed by her own sister and her own husband, she's the one that needs your support. Not the one that chose to cheat on her husband with her own sister's husband. She made the conscious decision for 4 YEARS!! That's not forgivable in my eyes. She made the decision, she can face her own consequences. I'm sure her soon to be ex husband will still allow you to be part of your grandsons life. Reach out to him and let him know you are not speaking to her. And just be there for Emma and her kids.
> > OOP >> Thank you so much. I have reached to him but haven't heard anything back yet

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OOP to a long comment > She might not. Her ez husband wants to move far away from all of this. He wants to move to his own side of the family which lives in a different city. It would be hard for Chloe to be there for her son unless she moves with him or gets an apartment there which I don't think she would unless she really wants to see her son > > No_Bet_589 >> So she would rather lose her son than move to be near him? There is nothing on this earth that would have prevented me from fighting tooth and nail to keep my kids. >> >> How far away is his family? She can ABSOLUTELY file an emergency stay order to keep the kids locally until custody is settled, and wronged by her or not, most courts will put the children’s needs first. Courts tend to prioritize joint custody regardless of what dad or mom thinks, unless one parent is willing to sign rights away. She needs a lawyer ASAP. >> >> If she is willing to walk away from her son without a fight, then he is better off without her. And that tells me a little bit more of her character - and it makes me even less sympathetic to her than I already was. >> >> OOP >>> We are in Florida and his family is in Washington

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EffectivePhase7165 > "Chloe tried to slap Emma, but several relatives stepped in before she could." > > Chloe who slept with her sister's husband tried to slap her sister too? > > OOP >> Yes I know it's bizzare

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Update - after 3 days

^(July 06, 2026)

---

UPDATE: AITA for cutting my daughter out of my life after she had an affair with her sister's husband?

I know it's very early for me to post an update, and I wasn't planning on it, but after reading the comments on my first post, I decided I needed one final conversation with Chloe before I completely closed the door. I went to her house yesterday and I expected her to be emotional after calling me 82 times in one day, but she was surprisingly calm. I asked her the one question I still couldn't understand: why?

She admitted she'd been attracted to Emma's husband for years. She said what started as admiration eventually became feelings, and over time they crossed a line. Instead of ending it, they kept convincing themselves it would be the last time. She insisted she regretted everything.

I asked if she'd spoken to Emma.

She told me the only contact she'd had was one text before Emma blocked her on everything. Emma told her she'd destroyed their family, taken away her children's stable home, and that she hoped the affair had been worth losing a sister forever because, as far as she was concerned, Chloe no longer had one. Emma blocked her immediately afterward.

Chloe also admitted she later waited outside the school gates hoping to speak to Emma when she came to collect the kids. Emma refused to speak to her, warned her to stay away from her and the children, and told her that if she ever approached them again, she'd regret it. Chloe left crying.

I told Chloe her waiting outside the school, was completely inappropriate, regardless of her intentions. She insisted she only wanted to apologise and prove she cared about Emma.

I then asked if she truly felt remorse.

That's when I completely lost my patience.

Instead of taking full responsibility, Chloe started telling me Emma's marriage had already been falling apart, that Emma and her husband had been drifting apart for years, and that he often confided in her. She admitted the affair was wrong but repeatedly tried to place part of the blame on Emma, saying if their marriage had been happier none of this would have happened.

I was furious.

I honestly couldn't believe I had raised someone capable of thinking like that. I told her there is no marriage bad enough to justify secretly sleeping with your own sister's husband for four years. I told her I wasn't just disappointed—I was ashamed that she was my daughter. The more she tried to justify herself, the angrier I became.

The conversation eventually turned to her own divorce. She talked about how difficult everything had been for her and how her husband still plans to move to Washington with their son to be closer to his family. She said she may have to move there too if she wants to stay close to him.

As she spoke, I realised almost everything was about what she had lost: her marriage, her home, her reputation, and possibly seeing her son every day. Very little of it was about Emma or the damage she'd caused.

At the end of the conversation, Chloe asked if we were "cool" now.

I told her no. We were not "cool," and we might never be. I said that if I ever found it in my heart to reconcile with her, it would be on my terms and in my own time—not because she thought one conversation could erase four years of lies and betrayal.

I walked out feeling angrier than when I arrived. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I love both of my daughters, but after that conversation, I'm not convinced Chloe truly understands the pain she's caused.

 

COMMENTS

innocentsalad > Why does the other woman always believe the"my marriage is falling apart and I'm not actually close to my wife" bullshit? Every single time. > > We all know this man would have happily remained in his marriage with his side chick sister-in-law forever if Emma didn't find him out. > > Hell he's probably begging Emma in texts to give him another chance and that Chloe means nothing to him. > > Tale as old as time but the women keep falling for it. Baffling. > > OOP >> I'm pretty sure there might be a final part 3. I'm not sure how many parts I can keep making before Reddit says otherwise. Emma and her husband did have some problems but they were mostly if not always minor and nothing serious. I am still trying to process how it was going on for 4 years without anyone knowing

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Scary-Potential-5352 > I read the first post and I still am confused at why Emma's husband's behavior changed all of a sudden if it was going on for four years. Why did he "suddenly" become cagey, defensive, and hiding his phone if it's been going on for the last four years? > > OOP >> Because Emma was all of a sudden curious and had a feeling he was cheating on her. I think he sensed that and didn't want the secret to be found. >> >> Littlechubbyse (downvoted) >>> How would you feel if she died tomorrow? Or would you not care at all? If so, then get her out of your life.. >>> >>> OOP >>>> I would be devastated if she died Tommorow. I have forgiven her but I am not ready to reconcile

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sog96 > NTA. Not sure how old your grandson is but your SIL definitely needs to do a DNA test. > > OOP >> My grandson is 5

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Western_Scholar1733 (downvoted) > I'm missing the part where you advise her to get a lawyer to make sure her soon to be ex husband can't move out of state with your grandson > > OOP >> He most likely will but I will have a chat with him.

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AITA476510719 (downvoted) > In my opinion: YTA > > She’s your kid. You just don’t do that. > > OOP >> Why do you think that? >> >> Littlechubbyse (downvoted) >>> How would you feel if she died tomorrow? I mean.... If you care... >>> >>> OOP >>>> I care about my daughter. What are you trying to point out here exactly? I care about both of them and want the best for them, but I won't sit here and allow my daughters to be at each others throat because of what one of my daughter did. I will step up and say the truth

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Normal_Ad6576 > Chloe and Em’s husband are still seeing each other and are now free to be together. Why did they stay in their marriages if they were so unhappy!?? > > OOP >> Chloe told me that her and Emma's husband haven't talked since. She texted him but he never responded

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OOP to a long comment >> My husband passed about 7 years ago but when he was alive, he did give Chloe special treatment because she was the baby of the family. I treated both my daughters equally and we often had fights about Chloe due to unfairness and e.t.c he would do things like make Emma share what was supposed to be hers and give half to Chloe, give Chloe bigger or better items because he didn't want to upset her. We did divorce later on due to something else unrelated but that did play a huge part. I did try my best to be fair to both my kids and I genuinely think I was. I'm not trying to blame my late husband here, I'm just saying what he was like.

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Final Update - after 20 days (after 17 days from last post)

^(July 23, 2026)

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AITA for cutting off my daughter after she slept with her sister's husband?

FINAL UPDATE

I said after my last update that I'd come back one last time once things had settled down a bit, so this will be my final post.

First, thank you to everyone who commented on my last two posts. I read and replied to more comments than I expected. Some of them were difficult to read, but they gave me a lot to think about.

To answer the question I saw the most, Chloe's son is definitely her husband's. Chloe is white, her husband is Black, and their son is mixed race, so there was never any question about that.

The divorces are still going ahead. Nothing has been finalized yet, but neither couple is trying to work things out anymore.

A lot of people also asked about my sisters.

Yes, they knew about the affair before Emma found out. They admitted they stayed quiet because they thought it was a family matter and hoped it would end before anyone got hurt. I understand why they thought that, but I can't agree with it. Emma spent years being lied to while people around her knew the truth. I've decided to cut both of my sisters out of my life. I don't know if that will be forever, but they have broken my trust.

Over the last few weeks, I've spoken to both of my daughters separately.

I asked Emma if enough time had passed for her to even think about talking to Chloe.

She said no.

She told me she isn't waking up angry anymore, but that doesn't mean she's forgiven her. She said she accepted that the truth was always going to come out eventually. The only thing she could control was what she did after she found out.

She also said she has no interest in having a sister anymore.

As for her husband, she told me she's made one thing very clear. She'll only respond if it's about the children or the divorce. Everything else gets ignored.

What surprised me was that he hasn't stopped trying.

He's sent long apology messages, videos about forgiveness, and even Bible verses. None of us are religious, so that confused all of us. He keeps saying she was the only woman he's ever loved and that he made one terrible mistake. Emma hasn't replied to any of those messages.

I also found out something Chloe never told me.

In my last update I said Chloe told me the only message Emma sent before blocking her was that she was no longer her sister.

That wasn't true.

Emma later showed me the messages.

Before Emma sent that final text, Chloe had blamed her for what happened. She told Emma that maybe if she'd paid more attention to her marriage things would have been different. She also said that if her husband had felt happier at home, he wouldn't have looked somewhere else.

Reading those messages made me feel sick.

When I confronted Chloe, she admitted she'd sent them. She said she was angry, desperate, and trying to make herself feel less guilty. She told me she regretted sending them almost immediately, but by then Emma had already blocked her.

Chloe also told me she's moving to Washington once everything is finalized so she can stay close to her son but in Florida, they allow divorced families to stay so I don't know why his father is planning to move there to be closer to his family, and Chloe doesn't want to be too far away from her child.

She admitted she'd tried contacting Emma's husband after everything came out, but he never answered any of her messages. She eventually stopped trying.

She also told me she knows she'll never get her old life back, but she hopes moving will give her a chance to start over.

I told her that starting over doesn't erase what happened.

She agreed.

A lot of people asked if I've forgiven Chloe.

I haven't.

I still love her because she's my daughter, but I don't trust her anymore, and right now we don't have a relationship.

Maybe that changes one day.

Maybe it doesn't.

I honestly don't know.

This whole situation has changed our family forever.

Emma lost her husband and her sister.

Chloe lost her marriage, her relationship with her sister, and most of her family.

My sisters lost me because they chose to stay quiet.

This will be my last update.

I hope one day all of us can find some peace, even if we never become a family again. If I missed out some details I will respond in the comments.Thank you Reddit!

 

---

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.

Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.

**TL;DR:** My girlfriend accidentally entered the wrong hotel room after misreading the room number while slightly drunk. She immediately reported the mistake, but the hotel treated us like criminals for the rest of our stay. AITAH?

My girlfriend and I were staying at a five-star all-inclusive resort in Cancun. She arrived a few days before me. Her room wasn't ready yet, so the hotel gave her a complimentary drink. While waiting, she had a couple more drinks at the beach club. She admits she was a little tipsy.

When her room was ready, they told her her bags had already been sent up. She looked at the room number written on the key card envelope, but accidentally misread the first digit and went to the wrong floor. She found a room with the same last two digits, tapped her key, and **the door unlocked**, even though it wasn't her room.

Thinking everything was normal, she tossed her purse on the table, noticed luggage in the closet (which she assumed was hers), and lay down to cool off. After waking up, she went to unpack and immediately realized the luggage wasn't hers. Mortified, she ran out, went straight to the front desk, explained what happened, and they corrected the room number. Only after getting to her actual room did she realize she'd left her purse behind.

The other guests had returned, found her purse, and reported that someone had entered their room. I completely understand why they were upset, and I don't blame them for reporting it.

When I arrived later that week, the front desk immediately pulled me aside and sternly told me there had been a serious incident. I hadn't even been there yet and had no idea what they were talking about. After I spoke with my girlfriend, I understood what had happened.

The next day the hotel called me to the front desk again. I explained that she had made an embarrassing mistake, felt terrible, and had reported herself as soon as she realized it. They continued treating us as though we had criminal intent, repeatedly emphasizing the other guests' complaint while never acknowledging that **their key card had opened an occupied room that wasn't ours**.

After that, the staff gave us noticeably colder service, whispered as we walked by, and generally made us feel unwelcome for the rest of the trip.

I agree my girlfriend made a mistake and shouldn't have entered the wrong room, especially after drinking. But she immediately owned up to it, nothing was taken, and she literally left her purse and ID behind. I also can't get past the fact that the hotel's key worked on another occupied room.

AITAH for feeling the hotel handled this poorly and should have accepted at least some responsibility for the security failure?

I suggested an open marriage to my husband mainly because I wanted extra spice and we had become too familiar and comfortable with each other, the spark wasn't a huge one anymore.

He was hesitant but agreed when I told him it would make me happier which would benefit him too. We were 42 and 45 at the time with 2 kids.

His only condition was that our sexual frequency didn't go down. I told him I couldn't guarantee that the same way I couldn't guarantee it wouldn't go down in a closed marriage, but ensured him that wasn't my intention and also he was free to see other women.

So he told me it was ok, as long as there was a pause button.

The other rule was it was meant to be sex only, no emotional cheating.

For the first 3 months he got 0 matches while I had a lot. Our frequency did dip a bit and he asked to use the pause button. I said I would do it as long as he realized that the resentment of not seeing my other 3 partners may cause sex to decrease a lot or even stop.

So he back pedaled and agreed to keep it open, but frequently sulked and said he was frustrated. I tried everything including offering him non sexual intimacy such as hand holding, cuddling, letting him give me foot and back rubs, etc. I also gave him extra free days to hang out with friends, go to the gym or do anything he wanted.

It didn't work and he kept complaining about lack of sex and frustration. At about the 9 month mark, though, he met someone, let's call her Candy, and she was 24. We had a Don't Ask Don't Tell policy so I didn't know who she was at first, but because after 2 months he was spending so much time with her it became more than my total time with all my guys, I wanted to know what was going on so I demanded his phone.

When i saw her, and saw the messages they sent each other, it was clear that it was 1. Emotional, and 2. She was young. I threw his phone against the wall, told him he was cheating and a predator. He refused to close just as I had refused and for 6 months he had pictures of her as his wall paper on all phones, tablets and laptops etc.

Then the next year he told me he was cheating on Candy by staying married to me, and he files for divorce. Now I am alone and he is with Candy and she is living the life I was supposed to live and I really hate Candy.

When I tell this story one thing people mention is how I shouldn't have smashed his phone, but we agreed on sex only, no emotional cheating. AITA?

I(20 f) got invited to an acquaintance's wedding. We aren't close by any means. And we aren't related.But it's a wedding with a long guest list, so I wasn't really surprised to be invited.

On the card, it said that the wedding was a black tie ceremony. So I bought a simple black dress specifically for the wedding, nothing extravagant, but I'm a broke college student,and existing is a strain on my wallet. But just to make sure, I sent a dm to the bride and asked if the dress was okay. And she said that it's not. I should wear something pastel. The black tie thing was mentioned on the invite because apparently some guys on the groom's side wanted to show up in flip-flops because they would have to travel a lot to show up to the wedding. The bride wanted the pictures to look nice. I then told her that I didn't really have anything good in pastel because I moved and left behind a lot of my stuff.

She told me that I should not show up unless I buy something in pastel to fit the actual dress code. Rude but okay. I didn't want the hassle of buying something else. So,I politely told her then that I probably can't make it to the wedding. And that was the end of that conversation.

Today, I heard a rumour that the couple broke up because the bride was uninviting all of the groom's female friends for one reason or another. I don't really know what happened behind the scenes. But there must have been some drama. So, I told my friend about the dress thing and she thinks the bride is in the right. She had a dress code, and none of us were following it, so the female friends/acquaintances of the groom are the a hole. But I don't feel like the asshole. The invite had black tie written on it. I don't really know. What do you guys think? Btw the couple is in their early twenties so it would not shock me if they broke up over some petty drama behind the scenes unrelated to the dress code.

I (24f) and my fiance (25m) get Taco Bell decently often as it’s my favorite fast food, but we have different favorites from there so we order a couple of his favorite burritos and mine plus maybe an extra items to try. The problem is sometimes my fiancé will bite every burrito until he gets to the one he wanted. If it was just like one or two it wouldn’t bother me, but like half the burritos wind up being bitten out of. To be fair, Taco Bell never labels the food, but I feel like he could open the burrito if he can’t tell by feel. Where I may be the asshole is I may have put some attitude into asking “why do you keep biting the burritos just to get a different one” (I say may because I acknowledge I struggle with tone and often inflict the wrong tone). He got upset and said I was being an ah and he takes a “small” bite (I think we’re perceiving the bite size different) so we can both eat our favorite burritos instead so why can’t I just eat after him. For context we share everything, I have no problem eating/drinking after each other and never have. But he genuinely took it as I saw it suddenly tainted bc he ate it. I tried explaining to him that it’s not that and sometimes I just want a whole burrito without a bite taken out and I was just trying to joke about him biting every burrito but it turned into a stupid argument and him being petty the rest of the night. By petty I mean telling me I can just throw out the burritos and he just won’t buy those ones anymore and I can buy my own, then going to our room saying he was going away from me. I don’t know why burritos turned into an issue? Am I the asshole for even bringing up him biting every burrito?

The last time I spoke to my Aunt I was in my early twenties, maybe closer to mid twenties. At the time I identified as a cismale gay man (which is a bit different these days but not the point). My mother had always been raised to be the whipping post of the family and, so, I suffered a lot of verbal and some physical abuse at the hands of my extended family. It started because I was of mixed race and got worse as I grew up and came out as queer and just otherwise too different from these Southern Good Ol' Boys and Gals. Me being Family made them look bad, or so they felt.

With that bit of set up, the last time I spoke to my Aunt was a Thanksgiving where my family was going to use my Aunt and Uncle's lakeside cabin (my mother had and I had been discovered by a child she had put up for adoption that year) and my Aunt was in a foul mood. She hated when anything good happened to our family, and this was like winning the lottery when my mom's "mistake" turned out to be a successful, loving daughter who wanted to reconnect.

So, she corners me while I'm getting my stuff ready and offers me something. I look over and see some pamphlet with "The Rainbow is for God, not Gays" on it and knew it was a Conversion Camp bullshit or something in the same vein.

"I'm not in the mood for this, [Aunt]. I'm busy and going to hang out with my sister!"

"But, does she know what a shame you are? You don't want to disappoint your new family do you?"

"Look, she knows. She's cool. Now, quit being mean. If you continue, I'll be mean back. And I'm much better at it than you are."

I had spent years taking this woman's abuse, her carelessness, her crassness, and then she looked at me and said "I guess your sister can at least make your mother proud."

To which I turned to her, smiled, and said, "At least my mom can keep two children alive. Sucks about [Cousin], huh?"

Her eyes widened, she began to bawl and snot and spit began running down her face. She attempted to hit me but she was so dazed and stunned it missed.

To note, her son, whom she had kept from any therapy or help, had had a drug problem in life. She signed him out of his own imposed Rehab program because "Of what the neighbors would think." He had not lasted much longer before ODing after that.

I've never spoken to her since and my Mom, after finding out what I said, never attempted to make me go back to see that part of the family again nor have I really wanted to.

To this day, I'm fine with how we ended things. My Aunt is vile and I feel no regret over having said what I said.

Hope it brings some entertainment to y'all.

I recently realised I’m quite good at poker. I haven’t played since university around 10 years ago but I went to a casino with friends a couple of months ago and did quite well. 

Since then I’ve played a few poker games in other casinos and won a decent amount of money. 

We’re not talking 6 figures but the amount is still good money for me. I was on a double date a couple of weeks ago with my gf, one of her friends and her friends boyfriend. 

We got talking about hobbies and my gf mentioned I enjoy poker. We talked about that for a bit and the boyfriend mentioned he plays with some of his friends occasionally. He said it’s mainly for fun but they obviously do bet money and said I should join them and I agreed. 

It happened last weekend and there were 5 of us playing. The night was going well, we were just getting low amounts and just having a drink and a good time. One of the guys asked me how much of won and I told him. 

He suggested raising the stakes since I’m used to playing for a lot more than we were and I agreed. The night was still going fine but my girlfriend’s friends bf was losing quite a bit. Everyone else knew when to fold and stop playing but he didn’t. 

By the end of the night he’d lost over £3000. He asked if I’d help him out and give him back what he lost or at least most of it. 

I refused and pointed out no one made him bet. He mentioned that he’s the one who invited me so it should mean something but I just said again I didn’t force him to keep playing. 

He got annoyed and said I should help him out but I just told him to stop. I said he chose to bet and he shouldn’t be expecting me to bail him out because of his own choices. 

He said it’s not fair since I was more experienced but I just pointed out he knew that before we started and it’s not an excuse. He said it would cause issues with him and his gf if she knew how much he’d lost but I just said that’s on him and he has to stop blaming other pole for his actions. 

My gf got a message from her friend during the week asking if there’s any chance I’d pay him back and I still refused. 

AIW for refusing to consider paying him back 

I’m a black woman currently pregnant with my white husband’s baby, and a conversation we had today really upset me and made me cry.

We were discussing baby names, and since I’ve been struggling to choose one, I asked for his input. He suggested Ciara, which I initially thought was because he liked the name. Instead, he explained that it sounds “less black” and that our daughter might have more job opportunities because of it. I was shocked. I never expected my husband to think our child should minimize any indication of her racial background to be more successful.

While I understand that discrimination exists, I don’t think the answer is teaching our daughter to hide who she is.
To me, there’s nothing wrong with having an ethnic or culturally identifiable name. Our heritage is part of our identity, and it should be embraced, not softened to make other people more comfortable. What bothers me most is that his mindset seems focused on accommodating racism rather than challenging it. I would never try to erase or downplay his side of our daughter’s identity, so it feels strange that his instinct was to downplay mine.

The name he thought sounded “too black” was Leilahni. From what I can find, it’s actually of Hawaiian origin, not African or specifically Black in origin at all, which made the comment even more confusing to me.

Am I wrong for being upset by this?

Edit: Thank you all for the feedback. I’ve read far more comments than I expected and have a lot to think about. I’ll be talking with my husband later and taking a break from replying for now. I appreciate everyone who shared their perspectives!

So, let’s begin at the beginning shall we?

I started a job back at the beginning of March of 2026. It was honestly perfect. I worked as a barista at a very local coffee shop in a lil nothing town.

Our daughter is 3 months old at the time I started. It was only Friday and Saturday mornings and occasionally through the week, but I always came in on time and even took care of the shop by myself while she left the state for two days. It was fun and gave me time to breathe real world air after not leaving the house for the last three months. I wanted and needed to feel like anything besides just a walking pair of titties (she’s mostly exclusively breastfed which also took a toll on my mental health).

Got hired, I was even able to bring her with me. It was amazing. Everyone loved seeing her. But, two months in, boss lady told me I can’t bring baby in anymore due to her being a hazard. I completely understood and respected her decision. Nothing changed our relationship. I still worked hard and did my best. Ofc I made mistakes, but I’m a fast learner who takes criticism well and grows.

The only not perfect part of the job was this one customer in particular. Let’s call her Rebitcha.
She would come in everyday, order a large American with the same syrups added. Hard to mess up an order you make constantly. But she was a barista in a different state and thought she knew better than just a simple small town barista, I guess?

Well, she didn’t like me from the moment I started. I still don’t know why.

Over the weeks of being there, I had to interact with her often. Instead of being pleasant, she would tell me exactly what my job was and watched over my shoulder while I made her drink. She was very rude. Very condescending. Very much like I was dirt on her shoe.

Rebitcha even asked if boss lady would make her drink 5 times instead of me. Another time, she walked in, I started taking her order and she stops me, and asks boss lady to make her drink because “Not to be a b-word, but I was really looking forward to this and I don’t want it messed up”
I set the cup down in frustration, boss lady right there and walk away. As I turn my back, Rebitcha tells me
“You’re doing a great job tho! You really are, I’m just having a morning and I’ve been really looking forward to this, but you’re really doing good!”
I have never felt so disrespected. Her patronizing tone had me fuming.

All this done in front of boss lady and nothing was said in my defense or on my behalf.

The last day I worked, Rebitcha came in and I was taking her order as normal. I recently cut about 6in of my hair and was feeling good about it. Hubby made me feel pretty and it’s lighter in this heat.

She walks in “you cut your hair!”
“Yeah, it’s lighter” I was curt but respectful
“It looks better than your long hair it suits you more”

I just ignored her back handed remark and started pouring the shots for her drink. I added 2/3 of her syrups before pouring the other shot. Rebitcha pipes up
“Don’t forget the honey” in her usually I’m stupid and she’s smarter than me tone
“I know” is all I say, deadpan but starting to get annoyed.
“Don’t forget it has four shots in it”
“I know how to do my job” I tell her, my face getting hot from controlling my words.
I finish her drink but go to add the splash of milk she wants, and I stop pouring thinking oh! That’s just a splash. Wrong
“More.” Rebitcha chimes in
I add more
“More” she says again
I add more
“More” I keep adding until she says “stop. I just want my drink done right cuz I’m not coming back to fix it”

(In total, there was over 1/3 cup of milk in her 24oz cup.)

I just shake my head and go to stir her drink because she refuses to stir her own drink. I didn’t stir enough one day and she walked out saying
“That’s why you stir it before you give it to me”

Back to the story at hand….

I stir her drink and she looks at me and the drink in mild disgust and tells me. “That’s why I told you to add the milk first.”

I just look at her, keeping my composure. Boss lady does nothing to help me. Even tho when Rebitcha is gone, boss lady will say things like I need to say something and I don’t know how you put up with that. Nothing changes tho.

On my last day tho, besides Rebitcha ruining my lovely day, the air was super tense between me and boss lady. I knew something was wrong. I was close to asking her point blank if I was being fired, but chose to not be a smartass.

I tell her I’ll see her tomorrow and I hope our weekend is busy. She just tells me she hopes and have a good day.

I get up the next day, shower and get nearly dressed when I get a text from her. 10 minutes before my shift and 5 minutes before I was set to leave the house. I live 3.5 minutes away.

“Hey, girl….” My stomach drops reading those words before I even open the message. She continues to say that she is going to “go a different direction with staffing here”. I reread the text a few times before I go into the bedroom and wake hubby up. I shake him up before telling him I got fired. I started crying and he holds me telling me it’ll be ok. A few minutes later, he asked what happened. I show him the text and cry while he continues to hold me. I only let myself sulk for about 10min before I make myself get out of bed and go to take care of our daughter that woke up to the crying.

I still haven’t replied to the text. It’s been almost a week.
I don’t wanna reply with the idea that I have to make her feel better for her “hard choice”. Maybe I should have more sympathy, but I also don’t want to. I know it’s selfish to not be as cordial.

If more context is needed, I’m more than happy to share.

Thank you!

We are both 24-year-olds and have been together for more than 3 years.

Yesterday I found out that my U.S. student visa was approved. I've been working toward this for a long time, and he was one of the only people who knew everything that was happening throughout the application process. I trusted him with something I hadn't even told my friends yet.

Last night, around 10 PM, I texted him and said I had something important to tell him and asked if I could call. He said he was with his family, so I told him to let me know when he was free.

After that, I went to talk to my mom. When I came back about 30 minutes later, I saw he had texted asking where I had disappeared to. I replied and asked if I could call now.

Instead of calling, he asked what I wanted to talk about. I said I wanted to tell him on a call but asked if I should just text it instead. He said yes, so I texted him, "My visa got approved."

And guess what? His response wasn't congratulations, excitement, or even acknowledgment. He completely ignored it and said, "Is that why you've been busy?"

I explained that I wasn't busy; I was just talking to my mom. Then he started complaining that I took too long to reply and told me to look at the timestamps.

I asked what was wrong, and he said "nothing" and went offline.

I called him because I was confused. He declined my calls multiple times. When he finally answered, he immediately started yelling at me, saying, "Why are you calling me now? Stop calling me on your terms."

The thing is, I call him every day. He's usually the one who's busy or disappears for hours, and I never make a big deal out of it. I disappear for 30 minutes one time, and suddenly it's a huge issue.

When I tried asking why he was acting like this, he literally told me to "shut up" and hung up on me.

I ended up crying. I felt completely heartbroken because all I wanted was to share one of the biggest achievements of my life with someone I love.

I sent him a long message explaining my side and how hurt I was. He responded, saying that I didn't care that he was waiting for me after I said I had something important to tell him.

I told him I did care and tried to explain, but he cut me off and said, "Don't call or text me anymore."

I couldn't sleep all night after that.

I ended up crying all night, feeling alone and unloved when I should have been celebrating with my partner. Any healthy partner would be happy for me, right? He had already gone to sleep, but I stayed up till 4 am and sent him texts on how I felt, which he hasn't seen yet, but I know, when he does, he won't even acknowledge how he made me feel. In his eyes, I am always the one at fault, no matter what the situation is.

There was not even a moment of acknowledgement from him. If it were the other way around, I would have been over the moon happy for him. I have always supported him, but when I am the one who needs support, this is exactly what happens. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

I'm starting to realize a pattern where important moments in my life somehow become centered around him instead. Earlier this year, we had an argument and fought a day before my birthday, and the next day, he didn't even wish me. When I'd called him myself, he'd yelled at me that he didn't want to talk. We moved past it, though, and resolved everything. But for how long?

I am tired of always being understanding and supportive but never receiving the same. I am beginning to resent him right now.

I've been watching a lot of wedding videos and it reminded me of a wedding I went to when I was 15.

A little context that I promise is relevant. In 1993, my parents joined the Moose Lodge. Think Elks Lodge but different antlered animal. My dad is the kind of person that can just walk into a room and instantly have 12 new best friends without even trying. This is how, less than a year later, I ended up invited to and attending this wedding. My dad was best friends with the groom's father.

Now, to the wedding. The groom, who we will call R, was 24 years old. The bride, who we will call M, was 15 years old. Yes, you read that correctly. She was 15. The reason for the wedding? Her parents found out about the relationship and said you will either marry our daughter or we will file statutory r**e charges against you. Since R didn't want to go to jail, he agreed to the wedding.

M and her mother did most of the wedding planning. The venue? The Moose Lodge. She had this beautiful dress and a wonderful cake and the flowers were gorgeous. Let's forget the fact that it was taking place on the dance floor of the bar of the Moose Lodge for just a second.

Apparently R had a really big problem with the fact that M and her mother were doing most of the wedding planning. M, sadly, was the more mature of the two. The wedding day came and everything looked wonderful. Until R and his groomsmen came into the bar for the wedding.

They decided that in retaliation for not being included in the wedding planning that they would show up wearing white shorts with sneakers, teal short sleeve button up shirts, and pink panther ties. Yes, ties with the pink panther on them. On top of that, the groom's cake was literally a Walmart special with Donatello on it. Yes, that Donatello. Like I said, M was the more mature of the two.

When it came time for the wedding toast, the groom's father tried to make sure that I had a glass of champagne since I was fifteen and the bride was also fifteen and that would be only fair. That's when I learned I do not like the taste of champagne.

The last I heard about either of them was about fifteen years ago and the information given was that they were still together and had like three kids. I could be wrong. But yeah. I thought you guys would like to hear that wedding story.