Relationships aren't what the internet wants you to believe.
I have always had the opportunity to discuss everything I read online, applying it to reality, experimenting and reaping the fruits of direct experience. It doesn't matter how many times I've read what a mature man is, or how a man should maintain the frame, etc., and much more.
All I have found from my experience in the field, (I live in Italy), is that Italian relationships, in Italian culture, have a particular functioning.
If you're interested... I'll write about some things that seem normal in a relationship here, but aren't normal in the way the internet and mass culture wants to portray them. But we could actually discuss if you find those in your culture too.
- Betrayal: in Italy many couples have cheated on each other. Maybe they took a break, or they simply cheated, or they do it openly or secretly. In these couples, betrayal is used as a "means" to "strengthen" the relationship after making mistakes. This way the two partners can work harder. Having made mistakes, sometimes both, they now understand that they no longer want to repeat them. You see many couples go to therapy for this reason and then stay together strong for many years (I personally know several still together after 30 years). And yet... we know that all this is disgusting, and that the wolf loses its fur but not its vice.
- Lack of respect: in Italy it is normal to see the woman "wearing the trousers" in the relationship and, if you are a real man, you can't stand it. You'll end up alone. You are desired, but not desirable… for a relationship. These women have grown up in a certain culture and will do what their mothers and grandmothers did: “scolding” their father. Women therefore look for men who are simpletons and easy to be manipulated for LTR's.
- Couples with children: It is quite common for a woman, even a very attractive one, to put up with her husband's "bullshit". Let's say that the husband is wealthy and they have children: then she accepts the situation and is even treated badly, it doesn't matter, if this allows her to maintain status and economic stability. He will do it… at any cost.
- Walk away: there is often talk among men about finding the courage, putting your stuff in order and simply walking away when you are disrespected. According to my observations and experience, this is not the case in reality: men become even more authoritarian and territorial. Example: a married couple had problems and she cheated with another man. What would a “serious” man do? He would walk away. But this is not what happens in reality. The husband doesn't put all the blame on the wife, at least not completely, but he sees the problem in the other man "who tried to take his wife away from him." So he goes to him and acts domineering, territorial and claims his woman. In reality it is the opposite of what is recommended to mature and confident men. But that's what really happens. (This applies to both men and women scenario)
- Acceptance: especially after children, economic commitments such as the mortgage, social ones such as marriage and others, both men and women begin to accept a lot of disrespect. For example, both may make jokes about what happens, but which they are still accepting. Women might say things like: "He came back late tonight... maybe he had something to do with his lover", joking because maybe they know that he is cheating on her, but at least he hides it and goes back to his family, remaining the economic support of the family (and contrary to popular belief, this is the reality we encounter: not what women say they want, and it is actually what makes them more attracted to that man: "even after a family he is still desirable and valuable to other women, so I have to keep him" rather than saying "what kind of woman am I to remain in this situation, and how disgusting is this person that I chose to be by my side, and to start a family?"). Men might say: “She went out dancing with her friends, she must have had fun”, knowing that she went to have sex with another man and then returned to him who supports the family. Another example could be that of work, maybe he is a bit toxic and doesn't work, and so it's up to her to plug the holes and cover the expenses. (this also happens on both sides)
Out there, healthy relationships are a choice, therefore, not the majority or popularity and especially in Italy, the "unhealthy" has been made culture by "joking" about it.
So it doesn't matter what they want to tell us and teach us about healthy relationships.
Those who want healthy relationships will have to look for them in life.
And know that you will be seen as "weird".