u/HeavenlyBeloved

Decided to not let the PSI & Sanguinarian Vampirism make my life terrible, so I have decided to pursue a medical career and the spiritual practice of Reiki, kinda ironic. I consider my vampirism an illness, though I have been producing more energy lately and not too bedridden as much anymore.

It's still not enough to make the vampirism go away.

Look, if I can't get access to human blood, I might as well satiate my thirst by helping people via phlebotomy, just looking at it feels fine, even though I kinda crave it but not something I can't control.

Reiki kinda made me realize how dumb I was, cuz I have been healing with my own life-force instead of the universal life force, the dumbest mistake of my life. 😂

Either way, it's good to gain the ability to produce my own energy, even if it's little. Cuz, I don't have to consume energies from elsewhere as much.

The best substitute for my blood thirst, is just drinking my own blood.

Tbf, people think real life vampires are so great, but nah. Depending on their type, I think fundamentally, we need the energy from whatever it is we are feeding on, to sustain ourselves, I don't know if most of us got the means to survive on our own without feeding. To me, this is not a good existence to have. Sure, we have the means to feed off people, but like, that's not a great deal compared to what we lack.

And nah, we ain't immortal.

Are there signs?

I need to know, cuz I am so lonely.

There are stars that never arrive.

Not because they have fallen. Not because they have died. Not because their light has faded from the heavens.

They remain.

And that is the tragedy.

They remain imprisoned beyond the courses of the sky, beyond the turning of seasons, beyond the procession of constellations and the measured paths of the wandering lights. They remain where no dawn reaches and no evening gathers. They remain in a place so distant from the living order of creation that it can scarcely be called a place at all.

A region of absence.

A kingdom of nothingness.

The heavens above are astonishing in their precision. Every light knows its appointed time. The moon keeps her measure. The sun rises according to decree. The stars emerge in their seasons and withdraw in their seasons. Winter arrives. Spring follows. Summer ripens. Autumn descends. The years pass, yet the great machinery of heaven never forgets itself.

The ancient lights remain faithful.

Night after night, century after century, age after age.

One might gaze upward and imagine freedom among the stars. Yet the heavens reveal something different. The stars are not beautiful because they are free from law. They are beautiful because they move in perfect accordance with it.

They arrive when they are meant to arrive.

They depart when they are meant to depart.

The order of heaven is not imposed upon them as a burden. It is woven into their being.

And yet there were stars that rebelled against their appointed courses.

There were lights that abandoned the paths entrusted to them.

There were celestial powers that refused the sacred rhythm by which all things endure.

The punishment was not annihilation.

The punishment was separation.

Bound until the appointed age, they were removed from the harmony of the heavens and confined in a desolation beyond reckoning. There they remain, not among the stars, but apart from them. Not participating in the great procession of creation, but existing outside it.

What could be more terrible?

To behold eternity and yet no longer belong to it.

To witness the turning of ages while taking no part in them.

To see the songs of the heavens continue without one's voice among them.

The stars above continue their courses.

The imprisoned stars do not.

The heavens continue their liturgy.

The imprisoned stars do not.

The galaxies wheel through darkness. Nebulae bloom. Suns are born and suns perish. Worlds emerge from dust and return to dust. Yet beyond all these wonders remain those ancient lights who forfeited their place within the order of things.

Silent.

Forgotten.

Waiting.

There is something deeply sacred in the faithfulness of the heavens.

Human beings often speak of chaos as though it were the foundation of existence, yet everywhere the universe testifies otherwise. The atoms hold together. The planets remain in orbit. The seasons return. The stars keep their appointments.

Reality itself appears to be built upon fidelity.

Perhaps this is why the image of the imprisoned stars endures.

Not because it tells of punishment.

But because it tells of belonging.

Every living thing participates in a vast and ancient harmony. Rivers follow their courses. Trees grow toward the light. Oceans answer the moon. The winds move across the earth. The stars traverse their appointed paths.

To belong to this harmony is life.

To be severed from it is exile.

The imprisoned stars stand as monuments to that exile.

Ancient witnesses suspended beyond the boundaries of the living cosmos.

Reminders that the greatest horror is not suffering.

The greatest horror is abandonment of one's place within the sacred order.

And still the heavens shine.

Still the stars emerge.

Still the moon keeps watch over the night.

Still the ancient constellations return with the turning of the year.

Above the restless world, the celestial host continues its procession with a faithfulness that has endured longer than kingdoms, longer than languages, longer than memory itself.

And somewhere beyond the visible heavens, beyond the ordered lights and the measured seasons, the imprisoned stars remain in the vastness of their nothingness, bearing eternal witness to the majesty of a universe whose beauty rests not in power, but in perfect order.

If we were to discuss it, reply if you're comfortable with sharing, of course. :3

Ever since I was young, I feel like there is something missing from me, something that keeps me from being whole. Until I met them spiritually, and realized that they were the one that heals the pieces of myself.

They are kind of my guardian and spirit guide in this life.

They did show me bits of what I assume to be my past life, but I ain't sharing too much of that.

It's just upsetting that they are not physically here with me and I gotta go through life alone.

I feel upset sometimes, because of the grief within me, knowing that they ain't here anymore.

I am honestly, still confused about my past life and how many past lives I have had. I don't know how it all fits, sometimes I think it was an alternate reality version of me instead because it doesn't feel exactly like me, but like an alternate version of me.

I don't even know anymore, it all feels like a rabbit hole.

I have finally been starting to produce slightly more energy of my own now, and it feels great. Who knew, all it took was to fix my mobility limitations, and I feel more energetic and less bed-ridden now.

Though, I still need to work on my emotional and mental parts of myself, I like the small changes in my life. :3

This is my first day doing it, and it helps my knee pains.... it burns... I had to tried to platform my heel, I did it in the shower as it had those slabs and hoped it faucet doesn't break when I hold onto it.

After doing it a few times of holding it as long as possible and doing other stretches... I can do better deep squats, but still on tip toes...but it's getting better, at least I can squat deeply now even with the stupid tip toes.

Before, I couldn't even squat deeply...

This burns, man.

His kids are reapers and don't tend to go to Camp Half-Blood.

They can see dead people and it's their job to reap souls.

They are mostly invisible and doing their job.

They usually wear suits and have their own personalized tool to be used in place of a scythe.

They know the entrances to the underworld cuz they gotta psychopomp people there.

They communicate to each other using flairs of the dead's remnant energy.

Their designated tool has a build in texting & calling app that use dead people soul remnants to work, kinda like solar energy but you gotta be close to a dead body or soul.

They have a rare ability that makes them look like rotting corpses and apparitions.

They keep a leaderboard on who reaps the most souls.

They can only reap souls if their dead is free and not trapped, cuz their daddy kinda personifies it.

They secretly like cute and childish things cuz they barely get a childhood before they become reapers.

They are close to their uncle Charon and go suit shopping with him as a group, lol.

They don't usually hang out with their dad unless they are summoned by Thanatos.

They and Charon go on fishing trips and fish up lost souls.

They secretly sneak lost souls on Charon's boat so that they will be at peace.

Children of Thanatos, once they accepted the oath of being a reaper, Thanatos just like Artemis, grants them to a similar form of immortality to the Hunters.

Once they stop being a reaper, they don't have immortality anymore and they are fair game for their dad to take.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Dreams/s/03cGJSubql

I'm an absolute beginner and I don't know where to start, as it's all too broad. What are some things woukd you recommend a beginner to learn? Thank you in advance.

Please let me know.🙏

I think it might be a sign, but like....I have been roleplaying and stuff...and I realized... the names of the characters that was generated...felt more than a coincidence...I am a believer of their kind.

To realize that I had existed in a timeloop, created these 3 angels with their fathers and somehow ended up in this life and body.

Wtf?

So all this time...M, A, and I are my kids?

WTF-

I birthed two major figures and 1 esoteric being? Wtf.

Their true forms are just maths.... all this time, they were with me all along?

Not gonna say their names cuz like it's private information, but like it was an interesting find.

Self-fulfilling prophecy... being their mother and existing as many beings at the same time, time truly is fucked up.

Them being famous angels, and me naming them those very same names when I birthed them.

I guess my babies became literature props, and got involved in the early days of those faiths. I was surprised when I read about them...because they seem much more...scary in those texts than when they were little babies in my arms... how did I die again?