u/Leading_Fortune6989

what do you value most in video games? Some value gameplay. some value story. some value graphics. me? the thing I value most in a video game is WHIMSY. Ocarina of time hides many nonsensical moments of pure whimsy, but few come close to the whimsy of playing music for the FABULOUS FIVE FROGGISH TENORS!

these frogs reward link with rupees and heart pieces when he plays the Ocarina, which somehow causes the frogs to grow. once completed, you can play a butterfly eating mini game with them. these guys weren't the first musical frogs in the zelda franchise, that honor goes to wart from super mario bros 2 when he appeared in Link's awakening, but the Fabulous five froggish tenors still take the reward for being the first 3D frogs. it's just a shame link had to kill one of their relatives in order to make eyedrops.

like most characters in Ocarina of time, Majora's mask would give the frogs terminaian counterparts in the form of... "the frog choir". huh, that's not as great a name as "the fabulous five froggish tenors", but they're basically the same frogs anyway. scattered across the land of termina, one side quest requires link to travel the world in search of the missing members of the frog choir.

(hey, listen! switch to the other image now)

but oh no, what's this? 2 of the frogs have turned... EVIL! meet gecko, a frog monster found in both the woodfall temple and the great bay temple. gecko doesn't fight on its own, summoning either a snapping turtle or a bunch of jelly blobs to battle link. what could have turned the innocent members of the frog choir into the evil gecko? ... well, we don't actually know. the game never tells you. but we can probably take an educated guess and say Skull kid/majora did it to cause trouble.

Majora's mask is equal parts whimsical and Nightmare inducing. taking the silly singing frogs and turning them into monsters... how cruel! but at least defeating Gecko turns them back into their frog form.

while today's subject was an example of Friendly Ocarina of time characters being turned twisted and evil in Majora's mask, tomorrow we shall do the opposite: Major Antagonists from Ocarina of time turned into friendly NPCs in Majora's mask. can you guess who tomorrow's subjects are? get it right and the frogs will sing a song for you.

normally when selecting an enemy to talk about, I choose them because I am quite fond of that enemy, or at the very least I find them weird and interesting to talk about. that changes today. this is an enemy I actively hate.

the game calls these things "Shell blades", but it doesn't matter what they name them: this is just a clam. a GOD DAMN CLAM!

first off, you only encounter them when you're underwater, so already they're off to a bad start. water levels in videos games are known for being terrible, and the water dungeons in legend of zelda are no exception. at least in Majora's mask you can turn into zora link, but in Ocarina of time, being underwater means you're wearing the iron boots. those stupid boots that make you slow.

then the god damn clam shows up. it opens its mouth showing you it's weak point, so you take out your hook shot, but uh oh, it's already closed its mouth and is doing its dumb little short hop attack. dealing with one of these things is bad enough, but if there's more than one of them, consider my day ruined.

like most Ocarina of time enemies, the God Damn clams returned in Majora's mask. but funnily enough, Majora's mask 3D actually removed some of them, as they no longer appear in the pirate's fortress. I've said it before and I'll say it again: never let anyone tell you that Majora's mask 3D is a bad remake. it has 20% less clams!

this is the wolfos. following a similar naming convention to lizalfos, the wolfos is to wolves what lizalfos is to lizards. in other words, it's a big scary doggy.

wolfos come in two varieties: the gray wolfos are usually found in forests, while white wolfos are found in snowy areas, because camouflage. for the longest time, wolfos were only found in Ocarina of Time and it's asset reusing sequel, Majora's mask. it seemed like Wolfos were going to stay on N64, but then suddenly, Echoes of wisdom brought them back. actually, echoes of wisdom brought back a lot of stuff from Ocarina of time... do you think they did that on purpose? like, when creating echoes of wisdom, did they know the next game would be a remake of Ocarina of time, so they put in a bunch of stuff from Ocarina of time so that people would remember Ocarina of time?

well, putting their long absence aside, whenever I see the wolfos I can't help but be reminded about another wolf from the zelda series: Link himself. during the legend of zelda's edgy teenage years, they decided to have Link transform into a werewolf. a lot of people at the time thought it was badass. then two years later sonic the hedgehog did the same thing, and the entire population agreed that werewolves are lame and we should stop putting them in video games.

And that's why... wait, what was I talking about? oh right, Wolfos. I dunno, just hit its tail.

ladies and gentlemen, I present today's zelda enemy: Ingooooo! ... ok, just here me out.

during the child phase of Ocarina of time, Ingo is a worker at lon lon ranch, where he complains all day about his boss, talon. after the timeskip, Ingo is now in charge after chasing talon off. not only that, Ingo makes it pretty clear he's a Ganondorf supporter. so while you don't actually fight ingo, he is still an antagonist of sorts.

in Ocarina of time, Ganondorf wants to rule Hyrule, not destroy it. having a character like Ingo actually prefer Ganondorf over the previous king, it's a bit of neat worldbuilding. it legitimizes Ganondorf as an actual ruler and not just some psychopath who attacks everyone indiscriminately. like yeah, Ganondorf is unapologetically evil, but look: he supports local business owners!

that said, actually freeing lon lon ranch has always felt a bit... off. Link wins a race, takes epona, then jumps over a wall. somehow that frees the ranch. but in interviews, we find out the plans were originally quite different: Ingo was supposed to set the ranch on fire, then link would grab malon and escape on epona. that sounds awesome! but it was one of many things cut during Ocarina of time's development. I would love for the remake to bring back that idea, but it seems unlikely they'd be willing to make a major change in the story like that.

but like, remakes SHOULD be a chance to bring back stuff that got cut. just look at mario 64 DS: you can play as Luigi! like, it would still be faithful to the original, just not the version of the original we played. what do you think? should ingo burn down the farm? out of everything the remake could add, my most wanted addition is for Ingo to burn down the farm. do it. Burn it down!

these bat enemies from the legend of zelda series are called "keese". I always wondered why they're called that and not just "bats". if I had to take a guess, I'd say that maybe Japanese people think bats make a "KEEE!" sound. but that's just a guess, don't quote me on that. I would never intentionally spread disinformation online.

Keese have been around since the beginning, acting as a pretty basic flying enemy. while later games like BOTW would try to make them appear more like strange fantasy creatures, Keese in all their early appearances are pretty much just bats. while they may seem basic, Ocarina of time would start making Keese a bit more interesting.

if you can take a basic enemy and make it function differently depending on the context, that's just good game design, especially in an era where storage space was scarce. comparing N64 cartridges to modern SD cards is like comparing a kiddie pool to an ocean. Keese were given mutliple variants: the fire keese and ice keese. fire Keese were covered in fire and wanted nothing more than to burn link's deku shield, while the ice keese were covered in... blue, cold stuff, I guess. they freeze people.

modern zelda games would also throw thunder keese into the mix, so Keese aren't just bats: they are bats that have mastered control of the elements! you should respect keese. it's not their fault they caused everyone in Hyrule to get Covid.

these bat enemies from the legend of zelda series are called "keese". I always wondered why they're called that and not just "bats". if I had to take a guess, I'd say that maybe Japanese people think bats make a "KEEE!" sound. but that's just a guess, don't quote me on that. I would never intentionally spread disinformation online.

Keese have been around since the beginning, acting as a pretty basic flying enemy. while later games like BOTW would try to make them appear more like strange fantasy creatures, Keese in all their early appearances are pretty much just bats. while they may seem basic, Ocarina of time would start making Keese a bit more interesting.

if you can take a basic enemy and make it function differently depending on the context, that's just good game design, especially in an era where storage space was scarce. comparing N64 cartridges to modern SD cards is like comparing a kiddie pool to an ocean. Keese were given mutliple variants: the fire keese and ice keese. fire Keese were covered in fire and wanted nothing more than to burn link's deku shield, while the ice keese were covered in... blue, cold stuff, I guess. they freeze people.

modern zelda games would also throw thunder keese into the mix, so Keese aren't just bats: they are bats that have mastered control of the elements! you should respect keese. it's not their fault they caused everyone in Hyrule to get Covid.

Anubis, the Egyptian God of mumification and guide to the afterlife. he is always depicted as a man with a dog's head. despite the fact the Egyptians didn't really write a lot of stories about him, he has remained the most popular Egyptian god for thousands of years. people just really like the funny dog man, I guess. and that popularity eventually resulted in him appearing as an enemy in Ocarina of time.

so like, show of hands, how many of you actually remember this guy was even in Ocarina of time? be honest? it never respawns once killed, it only appears in the spirit temple, and it doesn't really do much of anything. Anubis just... floats there. it doesn't even have any animations, it just floats up and down, and despite it not having any arms, it's practically T-posing.

Anubis just follows link around and dies if it touches fire. I think Anubis's only real reason for being there was so the developers could put more Egyptian things in the spirit temple, because the spirit temple is in a desert and video game logic dictates that all desert = Egypt. is it safe to dub Anubis "most obscure Ocarina of time enemy"? I think he's earned it. his only real competition is El Puerco.

ChuChu! no, that was not the sound of a train; I refuse to acknowledge spirit tracks. ChuChu is the name of today's zelda enemy!

"the slime" is a common enemy type in various video game series, and zelda is no exception. there have been many slime enemies, like zol and buzzblob, but the chuchu is unique because it is not a slime enemy; chuchu is a JELLY enemy. that's right, this guy is edible.

Chu Jelly is actually the main ingredient in those red and green potions you can buy in shops. It's weird that they make you bring your own bottle, but still, those potions are a great way to restore your hearts and magic. but the next time you use a potion, realize that chuchus had to die in order to make it. Vegans cannot drink potions, this is cannon.

Chuchus not only come in many different flavors, they also have many different elemental attributes. some of them are electric, just like the buzzblob, but they also have fire and ice variants. the fire Chu jelly is really spicy while the ice Chu jelly probably tastes like gelato.

but what's your favorite kind of Chu Jelly? let us know, and until next time, make sure to never keep live Chuchus in your kitchen or Gordan Ramsey will come yell at you.

The Deku Baba is a species of Carnivorous plant that is a recurring enemy in the zelda franchise. every self-respecting video game franchise has to have at least one carnivorous plant type enemy. dems da rules! and in Ocarina of time, the Deku Baba is the first enemy you'll encounter. although I always wondered why they were called "Deku Baba". in Japanese Baba means old lady, and in English it's the sound a sheep makes.

the Deku Baba is often compared to the piranha plant from the mario series, which also appeared in the zelda series one game prior to Deku Baba in link's awakening. there were a ton of mario enemies in Link's awakening, which means I could totally talk about a mario enemy as part of this zelda enemy posting marathon and no one would be allowed to complain about it.

but Deku Baba and Piranha plant's strange relationship goes even deeper: a boss from the OG zelda game, Manhandla, has had various redesigns over the years: sometimes it resembles Deku baba, but other times it's been made to look like Piranha plants. does this prove that Deku Baba and Piranha plants are the same species and they take on different appearances depending on weather they're grown in Hyrule or the mushroom kingdom? I think so. and since I said it on the internet, it must be cannon.

you know what this means, don't you? Deku Baba will appear as piranha plant's echo fighter in the next smash bros game. now all that's left to do is wait and watch as this post ages like a fine wine, or one of those big cheese wheels... do you think Deku Baba likes cheese?

Bombchus were items introduced in Ocarina of time. they have a mouse like appearance and once deployed, they will scurry a bit, even running up walls, before exploding. outside of one minigame that uses them, they're pretty much entirely useless. off the top of my head I can't think of a single situation where it wouldn't be better just to use a regular bomb. like, would you rather use a bomb that remains stationary, or one that runs away like a dirty little rat? I think the answer is obvious.

but one game later, Majora's mask would pull a major plot twist: Bombchus are based on a real animal! the "real Bombchu" is a rat with a bomb on its tail. look at this ugly freak, it's like some kind of rejected pokemon! they're super annoying, so it's no wonder the product based on them dwarfed them in popularity. you'd think the animal would just be called a bombchu and the fake ones would be called "synthetic bombchus", "artificial bombchus", maybe even "toy bombchus" if these things are marketed towards children. I mean, it wouldn't be the MOST Dangerous children's toy out there, there have been worse...

but no, the fake ones are just called "bombchu" while the animal is called "real bombchu". even if the wording is a bit strange, the end result is clear: the Real Bombchu is real. just as real as El Puerco.

but what other items do you think could become good enemies? personally, I always thought the eye of truth was pretty suspicious. I don't like the way it stares at me... it's clearly plotting something.

the Nintendo 64 was home to many of gaming's most famous Urban legends. unlocking luigi in Super Mario 64. playable master hand in super smash bros. using Banjo Kazooie's hidden ice key to access the secret boss fight against John Cleese. but when it comes to urban legends, Ocarina of time is and always will be king. and no Ocarina of time urban legend is more urban than the legend of El Puerco!

for those of you who only speak American, El Puerco is spanish for... the Puerco. this bizarre enemy was allegedly found underneath the graveyard, in the area where you race Dampe. El Puerco is hidden somewhere off the beaten path, where he stands there like an absolute legend.

few have seen El puerco, leading to some people to doubt it's existence. however, a video from a youtuber by the name of Monster Maze uploaded proof of El puerco's existence. I couldn't understand anything Monster Maze said because I don't speak Europe, but how else could he have gotten this image? El Puerco is clearly real.

if you're unable to find El Puerco yourself, this could be because El Puerco was removed from later versions of the game. in old copies of Ocarina of time, prior to the censorship of the mirror shield and the fire temple music, El Puerco can be found. the likely reason El Puerco was removed from later versions of the game is because when targeted, Navi will say a slur.

but what about you? have you found El Puerco? let me know in the comments. and always remember to stay both urban and legendary.

Gorons were first introduced in Ocarina of time. they are known for living in the mountains, rolling around and eating rocks. now, Gorons are friendly NPCs, not enemies, unless you count Hyrule warriors and those weird moments where you sumo wrestle them in Twilight princess. I debated whether or not to post about Gorons, but since yesterday I posted about zoras and deku scrubs the day before, we might as well round out the trio of majora's mask transformation races.

so since we're talking about a friendly NPC instead of a hostile enemy, I decided to Invite a member of the Goron race to today's zelda post, and now we're going to interview him! everyone give a warm welcome to Mr. Nejiron....

....

... what the hell is that? I don't know what the hell that is, but this thing is definitely not a Goron. I don't know what he is... I have encyclopedic knowledge of all Nintendo enemies, and yet I am absolutely speechless. why does this exist? what kind of sick freak would create something like this!? I don't know who, but somebody needs to lose their job for this!

sorry everyone, it looks like we're all out of time for today. regular zelda posting shall resume tomorrow. until then, let's all agree to never speak of this again. now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take this abomination against nature out back and put it out of its misery.

since Ocarina of time made moblins go from basic grunts to elite grunts, there was suddenly a hole in Ganon's army. who would fill the role of "the goomba" of legend of zelda? to solve this problem, Nintendo created what is essentially just a weaker Moblin: the bokoblin!

Bokoblins are weird little freaks who hang out outside all day and kill any travelers that come near them. they are hyrule's resident Murder Hobos. but since Bokoblin is a basic bitch, they never put up much of a fight. sometimes they'll hang out with a moblin so they can pretend to be tough, but you just know the moblin only puts up with it because it's part of the job.

although Bokoblins have filled the role of legend of zelda's most basic enemy for decades now, they didn't appear in Ocarina of time, so they likely won't appear in the remake unless Nintendo decides to add new enemies. what do you think? should the bokoblin be added to Ocarina of time? or do you think the remake shouldn't add any new enemies? or perhaps you are open to the idea of new enemies but you specifically hate bokoblin? let me know in the comments below.

on an unrelated note, can you believe Nintendo is charging 80 dollars for fire emblem fortune's weave? Fire emblem fans are about to be as broke as bokoblin.

today we'll be talking about those purple crows that appear all over hyrule, Guay! look, I know pride month was 3 month's ago, but it's never too late to remind everyone that it's ok to be Guay.

fun fact about Guays in Ocarina of time specifically; if you defeat enough of them, a bigger one will appear, a quirk shared only with stalchildren and leever. this larger than average Guay actually has a name: "The Big Gay Guay". if you encounter this legendary bird, make sure to get his autograph.

if you lock onto a Guay, Navi gives one of their shortest info dumps in the game: "destroy it before it flies into you." really Navi, just one sentence? you couldn't even spare a moment to compliment Guay's long yellow beak and magnificent purple feathers? Navi was for sure being homophobic. hopefully this is addressed in the remake.

that's all the time we have today for Guay, the G in hyrule's "Lgbtqia+" community. come back tomorrow for more zelda posting... and in case it wasn't obvious, the T stands for tingle.

some people have gotten angry at me for posting this, but I don't care.

oh boy, I wonder what Iconic zelda enemy I'll talk about today? I know, how about another inanimate object! this evil door is called "door that falls down". yep, that's it's official name, at least according to some random Goron and the Zelda wiki.

Ocarina of time has plenty of enemies with wonderfully creative names. names like "falling rock", "compactor", "Jiggly" and even "green slimy thing". but I gotta say, "Door that falls down" takes the cake. you may be saying "these aren't enemies, they're hazards and/or traps", but hey, the zelda wiki lists them as enemies, so that means they're fair game.

at first glance, "Door that falls down" looks like a normal door, but if link tries to open it, it falls down and crushes him! but worry not, there are ways to tell the difference between a real door and a Door that falls down; the Door that falls down sticks out of the wall. when spotted, it's best to smash Door that falls down with the megaton hammer.

I wonder if Door that falls down is friends with "fake door" from Luigi's mansion? maybe they met at an evil door convention? if there was an evil door convention, would you go?

the legend of zelda Ocarina of time is such a scary game! there are terrifying enemies like poes, gibdos, stalfos, redeads, and dead hand! but the scariest enemy of all, the one enemy that has given players NIGHTMARES for decades, is the FLYING POT!

pots are common objects in the legend of zelda. they can be found all over the place, and link can break them in order to get hearts or rupees. at first glance, the flying pot looks like any ordinary pot, but when you least expect it, they jump scare you by floating off the floor and crashing directly into link! AHHHHHH!

some say that the flying pot is vengeful spirit, trying to get revenge on link for the thousands of innocent pots he's broken over the years! the flying pot is closely related to the flying tile, a haunted floor tile that wants revenge for all the floors that have been stepped on.

in link's awakening there was a boss called Facade, a scary face that appears on the floor and throws pots at link. don't you see what this means! the haunted floor and the haunted pots are working together! nowhere is safe in hyrule, the inanimate objects are working together to kill us all! AHHHH!

so remember, next time you're at your grandma's house and you see a decorative pot, make sure to smash that thing immediately. better safe than sorry.

we got a special guest here today folks: please welcome stone mold, the boss of the twin tower temple... hang on, I got it backwards. please welcome twinmold, the boss of the stone tower temple!

these giant bug things, which may or may not be related to moldorm, are some of the largest enemies in all of the legend of zelda. luckily link can fight back against them by utilizing the giants mask, a mask that turns link giant that he finds right before this boss fight, can only use during the boss fight, and then can never use again after the boss fight.

while giant link fights them with his sword in the original Majora's mask game, Majora's mask 3D changes things up a bit: you have to fight the blue one without the giant's mask by shooting it with arrows, then get the giant mask during the fight and defeat the red one with giant link's insane wrestling moves. never let any youtube videos tell you Majora's mask 3D is a bad remake.

outside of their massive size, twinmold's greatest strength is that there are two of them. just when one of them goes down, BAM! a second twinmold has hit the stone towers!

thanks for reading, I hope you have a happy September 11th!